Last Christmas

by Kate Brian

"To Daniel," Thomas said somberly.

  Afresh wave of tears sprang to her eyes. She knew what he meant. Daniel was going to expect her to have sex

  with him. Could she actually go to Vermont and do that? Could she sleep with Daniel, tell him she loved him,

  when all she wanted to do was be with Thomas? The thought of lying in bed next to Daniel made her stomach

  lurch.

  Ariana pressed her cheek against Thomas's warm wool jacket and leaned into him. In that moment all she

  wanted was to be with him. To leave Easton and Billings, Daniel and her mother, behind. Start over. Just her

  and Thomas. No one else.

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  "Hey," she murmured into his chest, "want to come with me? I hear there's this really exclusive resort there."

  "I wish." Thomas kissed the top of her head and held her face in his hands. "Just remember that you're not

  just some name on a list, Ariana. You're better than that. You deserve better than that."

  A white taxi with a green-checkered border turned the corner and slowed at the curb and suddenly, Ariana

  couldn't breathe. It was as if the air had been sucked out of her lungs, leaving her deflated.

  Thomas kissed her. Hard. Frantic, she tried to memorize everything about him. The lines of his body under

  her fingertips, and the softness of his lips. The way that lock of hair fell into his face and brushed against her

  forehead. She didn't want to lose any of it.

  He pulled away and kissed her lightly on the nose. "You gonna be okay?"

  She nodded slowly.

  "See you in two weeks," he said, pulling open the door of the cab. "Two weeks."

  Somehow, Ariana made herself pull away from him, even though the pain in her heart was excruciating. She

  slipped into the backseat, and the slam of the cab door made her jump. Thomas stood on the sidewalk, gazing

  down at her through the foggy window. Ariana grasped at the memory of his kiss.

  The cab lurched, forcing her to face forward. When she turned around again, Thomas was gone.

  "Where you headed?" the cabbie asked gruffly from the front seat.

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  "Train station," she replied flatly.

  A Christmas tree-shaped air freshener swung from the rearview mirror, filling the cab with the thick stench

  of pine. Traces of cigarette smoke and sweat seemed to rise up from the torn leather seats. Breathing through

  her mouth to block the stench, Ariana pulled Mr. Holmes's cell phone from her coat pocket. She blocked the

  number before dialing.

  "Hello?" Daniel answered after the first ring.

  "It's me." Ariana kept her voice low.

  "Who is this? Wait a minute. You sound familiar. A little like my girlfriend." Ariana couldn't decide whether

  Daniel sounded relieved or angry. She decided she didn't have the energy to care.

  "It was the storm. I couldn't get out," she replied, her words clipped.

  "My parents keep asking about you. Asking when you're coming. Don't really know what to tell them,

  Ariana."

  Annoyed. Definitely annoyed.

  "I'll be there tonight." Already she felt tired.

  "Tonight?" The edge in Daniel's voice suddenly softened. "I'll meet you at the station. What time does your

  train get in?"

  She heard rustling papers over the familiar sound of ESPN in the background.

  "I don't know yet," she said quickly. "Don't bother coming to the station. It'll be late. I'll meet you at the

  lodge, okay?"

  She screwed her eyes shut, praying that Daniel would agree. She needed time. Time to transform herself into

  the sweet, smiling

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  girlfriend she'd have to play for the next two weeks. The more time she had, the better.

  "You sure?" Daniel sounded uncertain.

  "Yeah. I'll call you when I get to the lobby."

  "Okay. So I'll see you when you get here," Daniel paused, and silence buzzed over the line. "I love you,

  Ariana."

  She felt every muscle in her body tighten. "Me too," she managed.

  Without another word, she flipped the phone closed and shoved it in her pocket. Her fingers hit the subway

  token. She smiled and took off her necklace, placing the token next to the fleur-de-lis, and refastened the

  chain around her neck.

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  WORTH IT JANUARY OF JUNIOR YEAR

  ***It was late Sunday afternoon when Daniel and Ariana's cab pulled through Easton's gates. Most of the

  snow had melted over the rest of break. Ariana's heart jumped with excitement as the cabdriver navigated his

  way expertly around the front circle, avoiding pockets of students dragging designer suitcases in their wake.

  She turned toward the window and shook her head at the sight of London Simmons and Vienna Clark, the

  sophomores whose copy-and-paste style had quickly earned them the nickname the Twin Cities. The girls

  struggled with hot pink Chanel suitcases, their faces scarlet with effort. Or second- degree burns, judging

  from their identical sunglass tans and the bottle of duty-free rum peeking out of Vienna's Halston beach tote.

  "What's that smile for?" Daniel slipped his arm around her shoulders. It felt heavy, like it was filled with

  lead.

  Ariana shrugged, itching to be away from his touch but forcing herself to grin at him. "Just glad to be back."

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  Daniel groaned, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet as the cab slowed to a stop.

  "Not me. Two weeks went byway too fast."

  He fished a fifty out of his wallet and handed it to the driver, then jumped out and hurried around to the other

  side to open Ariana's door.

  "Thank you," Ariana said sweetly, stepping onto the curb.

  The crisp winter air sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine. Every day for two weeks, she'd fantasized

  about this moment. Getting back to Easton. Getting back to Thomas. She glanced down at her watch,

  adjusting it against the glare of the late afternoon sun.

  "Want to go into town for dinner?" Daniel was standing idly by as the cabdriver lugged each of their bags

  from the trunk and tossed them on the curb. "I'm starving."

  "No," she said, too quickly. Realizing her mistake, she forced a yawn. "I'm just really exhausted."

  She tugged anxiously at the puke green cashmere scarf Daniel's mom had given her for Christmas. She'd felt

  obligated to wear it during the entire trip, and now it felt like it was tightening around her throat.

  Daniel frowned. "Okay. Then lunch tomorrow?" Effortlessly, he picked up a duffel bag bulging with ski

  equipment and slung it over one shoulder.

  "Sure. Sounds fun," Ariana conceded, her heart sinking. She picked up her bag, stealing another glance at her

  watch as they headed toward Billings.

  "Got someplace to be?" Daniel smirked. She hated when he looked

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  at her like that. Like she was a child he kept around for his amusement.

  "Almost past my bedtime," she joked, forcing a laugh. An overwhelming sense of relief surfaced as she saw

  Billings looming ahead. Her escape. "So I'll see you tomorrow?" she said hastily, her steps quickening.

  Daniel nodded, and she watched him disappear in the crowds of students swarming around the dorms.

  Ariana waited for a few agonizing minutes before running up the front steps of Billings. Throwing open the

  front door, she tossed her bag in the entryway, then sprinted back down the steps and through the maze of

  dorms, tuning out the idle holiday gossip that buzzed around her. As she passed Drake and neared Ketlar, she

  scanned the pocke
ts of students around her, searching for any sign of Daniel. Good. He was nowhere to be

  found.

  Gwendolyn Hall stretched just beyond the line of trees at the edge of campus. Easton's oldest building had

  been deserted years ago, and Ariana had never had reason to venture inside. She stared up at the infamous

  facade. The frozen, overgrown weeds and brush beneath the boarded-up windows seemed to be reaching up

  like wiry fingers, threatening to strangle the old landmark. Two crumbling stone benches flanked the

  entrance, hidden by overgrown trees and shrubs. Cautiously, she lowered herself onto the closest bench,

  checking her watch again. The only sound she heard was that of her own foot tapping against the cracked

  cement walkway.

  "Could've warned me you were planning on showing up fashionably late."

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  Ariana heard his voice before she saw him. She leaped to her feet, looking around her.

  Finally, Thomas emerged from the side of the building. His hair was shorter on the sides and he looked older,

  somehow. Broader. Even more perfect.

  She almost tripped over a jagged piece of cement on the ground as she ran toward him. When she threw

  himself into his arms, he staggered under her momentum.

  "Easy!" He laughed, kissing her face, her hair.

  "You have no idea how much I missed you," Ariana breathed.

  "Come on. Only door that isn't boarded up leads to the basement."

  He tugged her hand and led her around the side of the building, through the dead brush that lined the walls.

  Thomas gripped the door handle and yanked it open, ducking through the doorway. She followed him into the

  deserted basement. Musty, damp air hung thick around them. She unwound the ugly scarf from around her

  neck and slipped out of her new, light blue Dior coat. It took about two seconds for her to give up on finding a

  clean place to lay them, and she tossed them over a dusty chair in the corner. That was what dry cleaners were

  for.

  "I felt like I was going crazy." Ariana pulled the wooden door closed behind them. Slivers of dusty light from

  the setting sun filtered through its cracks, painting red slashes across their bodies.

  "Me too." Thomas pinned her to the stone wall, tugging her sweater over her head. He ran his fingers through

  her hair; kissed her

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  on the mouth, the neck, along her collarbone. She hadn't felt like this the whole time she'd been in Vermont.

  She had missed feeling the way she did when she was with Thomas. Missed feeling alive, free. "At least you

  didn't have to spend two weeks holed up in your parents' co-op with your moron of a brother."

  "Awwww. Poor thing," she said with a laugh. "Life on the Upper East Side must be so hard."

  He shrugged out of his coat and yanked his sweater off over his head. "Like you were roughing it in

  Vermont," he said, his hands traveling over her skin.

  Her body tensed under his touch. The last person she wanted to think about when she was with Thomas was

  Daniel. She wanted to forget about the last two weeks with the Ryans, let the memory of everything that had

  happened between Daniel and her evaporate, like her breath in the winter air.

  "What's wrong?" Thomas breathed into her ear. He pressed his hands against her hips, guiding her through

  the maze of student desks piled high around the basement. Her legs backed into an old oak desk shoved

  against the far wall, and he lifted her onto it. "You okay?"

  "Of course," she said quickly, slipping her arms around him and pulling him close. "I'm fine."

  Suddenly, a familiar buzzing sound escaped from her back pocket.

  "My phone," she gasped.

  "Ignore it."

  "I can't." She yanked the phone out and her heart sank. Paige Ryan

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  was calling her. She pressed her palms against his chest and pushed him gently away. "I have to get back."

  "Oh." Realization slipped over Thomas's face. "Got a hot date?"

  He backed off quickly, grabbing his sweater off the floor.

  "No, it's just Paige," she said. "She's going to start wondering where I am, and she already asked soooo many

  questions over break about what I did by myself in a motel for two days and-"

  "It's fine," he said, leaning in to kiss her lightly on the lips.

  "I know this sneaking around sucks, but it's kind of exciting, too," she said suggestively, looking up at him

  through her thick lashes.

  "Sure," Thomas said as he got dressed.

  Adrenaline still pulsed through Ariana, and every cell in her body screamed for her to stay with Thomas. To

  forget about Daniel.

  "It's all going to be worth it," she said, reaching for his belt loop and pulling him to her. "We just have to wait

  it out until the fall, and then we can be together, right?"

  "Right," Thomas replied with another quick kiss.

  "And in the meantime, we can keep meeting up here," she said coyly. "Like tomorrow? Around five? Maybe

  we can finish what we just started."

  She pulled him closer to her and bit his bottom lip playfully. Thomas grinned. "Promise?" "Promise."

  She kissed him deeply, digging her nails into his hair and holding

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  him tightly until she finally broke away. Smiling, Ariana picked up her sweater and coat and quickly

  redressed.

  "If there's one thing you should know about me, Thomas Pearson, it's that I don't like unfinished business,"

  she said, dusting the dirt off her coat. "I always see everything through to the very end."

  "Good to know," Thomas said groggily.

  She tugged on the front of his coat and pulled him in for a final kiss. "See you later."

  Ariana stepped outside and took a deep breath. She hated leaving Thomas, but they both knew that she had to

  go. Paige couldn't start asking questions again.

  Trudging around the side of Gwendolyn Hall, Ariana ducked under low tree branches and stepped through

  brown grass matted with snow. Gray clouds had started to shift slowly over campus, casting smoky shadows

  over the looming buildings that dotted the grounds. In the eerie afternoon light, Easton Academy looked

  deserted. Ariana braced herself against a sudden gust of wind, trying to ignore the feeling of dread that began

  to weigh on her as she headed back toward Billings. She hadn't even thought about what she'd say when she

  saw Noelle. Noelle, who could read her with a single glance.

  Ariana steeled herself and headed into the wind. The next few months were going to be one big act. It

  wouldn't be easy, she knew, but her hard work would pay off in September. In September, when she and

  Thomas would finally be together for real. Forever.

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  NO GOOD REASON

  ***Ariana shifted uncomfortably in the vinyl booth, staring at the laminated menu in front of her. She had

  agreed to meet Daniel for lunch after her morning class. Predictably, he'd chosen 24/7, an overcrowded diner

  that served greasy burgers and fries to Easton Academy students twenty-four hours a day. In all the time that

  she and Daniel had been together, they'd never tried another restaurant for lunch. Never mind the fact that the

  only vegetarian dishes on the menu were the fries and a weak attempt at a side salad. He had never once asked

  if she wanted to try something different. And she had never complained.

  "Order up!" a cook yelled from behind the counter, startling her. She checked her watch. Daniel was ten

  minutes late. She'd give him five more minute
s before she headed back to campus. They had been back for

  less than a day, and already he was keeping her waiting.

  "Hey, babe." Daniel appeared next to her, leaning down to give

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  her a quick peck. His lips were rough against her cheek. "Sorry I'm late. Coach wanted to see me after class."

  He slid into the booth across from her and rested his hands on top of hers, giving them a squeeze. "Been here

  long?" His cheeks were flushed from the cold.

  Ariana shook her head, trying to shake the disappointment she felt at the very sight of him.

  "I was running late too," she said with a small smile.

  She lifted her hand to her chest, touching the subway token that hung on the chain beneath her cashmere

  turtleneck, and searched Daniel's face for any sign that he knew. Nothing.

  "Good." He pulled a menu from behind the silver napkin dispenser and opened it on the table. "God, it feels

  good in here. It's freezing out there," he said, rubbing his hands together and blowing into them. "Did you

  hear about your little friend Sergei?"

  Ariana's heart all but stopped. Daniel glanced up at her.

  "They found his body in the lake. Idiot went up there by himself and apparently drowned." Daniel sounded

  amused.

  "That's awful," Ariana said, forcing her features into a look of surprised horror even as relief flooded her

  body. An accidental drowning.

  Perfect.

  Daniel's brow knit. Suddenly he was all serious. "I know. But it makes you think, doesn't it? Could have been

  one of us. We're up there all the time. Someone could stagger out there drunk and bam!"

  Ariana jumped in her seat.

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  "The ice breaks and that's it. Over," he said, shaking his head as he looked at the menu.

  "Well, maybe we should start hanging out somewhere else," Ariana suggested, her mouth dry.

  "Yeah. Maybe."

  Ariana's skin felt tight. She closed her eyes against the garish light that poured over them from the swinging

  lamps overhead. She hated everything about being in this place with him: the sound of screaming children and

  cooks yelling out orders, the dizzying black-and-white checkered floor, the smell of grease hanging thick in

  the stale air. She took a slow, deep breath.

  Why did she have to do this? No one gave a crap about Sergei. Daniel had just made that perfectly clear. So

  why, why, why was she here?

  Ariana clutched her arm and breathed in and out. Keep it together. This is all for Thomas. I have to stick to

  the plan. There's too much at risk.

  "Anyhow, Coach told me he got a call from the head coach at Harvard the other day," Daniel said. "They

  want me to play there in the fall. The guy said he was really impressed with what he saw when he came down

  for homecoming. "He closed his menu and slid it to the edge of the table.

  "That's great," she said brightly, resting her forearms on the table between them and leaning toward him.

  "I'm really proud of you." The words spilled from her mouth effortlessly, as if they'd been scripted.

  "Only problem is, my dad doesn't want me to play during my first

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  semester." Daniel lifted the gigantic plastic cup in front of him and took a polite sip of water. "He thinks it'll

  be too much of a distraction."

  "And what do you think?" Ariana asked. She stole a glance at the ugly, neon-lit clock on the far side of the

  diner. If they hurried, she could be back on campus and with Thomas in half an hour.

  He shrugged. "Don't know. It's gonna be a rough semester. Taking orgo and biology at the same time is

  really gonna blow. So maybe my dad is right." He laced his fingers together on the table and flashed her a

  mischievous smile. "He was right about you, anyway."

  " Hmmm?" Ariana tipped her head slightly to the side. A loose lock of hair fell across her face, and Daniel

  reached over to brush it away. "What did he say about me?"

  "He loved you." Daniel beamed. "Both my parents did. They wouldn't get off my case. Kept asking why I