The Afterlife of Alice Watkins 2

by Matilda Scotney

  To Principal Katya’s amazement, instead of answering, Alice’s normally sweet mouth fixed into a straight, angry line and her hands clenched into fists.

  “I know exactly what the implications are Principal Katya. How dare he! He’s a barbarian! And he asked the Tabernacle for permission? It didn’t occur to him to approach me? What am I? Does he not recognise my freedom as an individual?” Alice stood now, her voice raised and angry.

  Principal Katya saw the indignation but couldn’t discern if she observed Alice or Alexis. Either way, she liked the fight in the girl’s eyes!

  “Yes, therein is the great dichotomy,” Principal Katya looked up at Alice. “He agrees you are a living breathing being, capable of taking your place in society with freedom to choose, but argues you truly belong to science. He believes you may hold the key to the evolution of medical breakthroughs and your life, your choices, are mere molecules in the grand scheme of things. He plans to return you here after he has conducted his research, and you resume your life with whatever memories remain intact.”

  “What did the Tabernacle say, Principal Katya? How did you respond?”

  “I haven’t responded, dear girl, if I had, it would be to issue a reprimand for asking the Tabernacle to violate the personal liberties of one of its most beloved subjects. He is here, now, with his confederates, to speak to us in person.”

  “To you, or to me?”

  “To me, Alice. He has not considered your thoughts on the matter. That is why I bring it to you.”

  “It’s time I spoke with Dr Clere.” Alice’s tone turned icy, incensed by this treachery. She was going to war!

  Principal Katya knew Clere reckoned without Alice moving on from her earlier convictions about her origins, arrogantly believing that away from Grossmith and Hardy, he could manipulate unhindered. She smiled her approval as Alice turned on her heel and headed towards Cloisters. Principal Katya pushed back her chair and hurried after her—although she doubted Alice would need support judging by her reaction. Principal Katya wouldn’t miss this for the world.

  The councilman who stood at the Cloisters door made to stop Alice but caught sight of Principal Katya following behind, waving to let Alice pass.

  Alice came upon Dr Clere seated with several men and women at the council table, deep in discussion. On the opposite side sat Statesman Mellor, very pleased and most gratified to see an outraged Alice storm in, accompanied by a smiling Principal Katya.

  Dr Clere was so surprised and astonished to see Alice, he almost knocked his chair over in his haste to stand; he’d anticipated these discussions would take place without her. His colleagues watched and waited for introductions that did not come.

  “Dr Clere.” Alice’s voice, low, quiet, cold, offered no greeting. She positioned herself, making sure each person in the room had a clear view of her.

  Dr Clere didn’t speak. He didn’t even bow. She’d changed, gone the frail and forlorn figure he remembered from Saturn Station, in her place stood a defiant, startlingly independent young woman.

  This must be Dr Alexis Langley, one or two murmured. For such a small woman, her fury bore down on them all, making those who would study her swallow hard and shift in their seats. They saw the truth of it now—a human being, not a potential subject for study, revealed as a woman with thoughts and emotions they’d been instructed by Clere she did not possess, and she was livid! And clearly close to the World Principal. Perhaps lending support to Clere wasn’t such a good move.

  “You’ve submitted a proposal to the Tabernacle detailing your desire to use me as a subject for study?” Alice said, the tone of her voice so cold, Principal Katya swore she felt the temperature in the room drop a few degrees. Alice planted her hands on the table and looked Clere in the eye, challenging him to answer.

  He remained silent. Statesman Mellor smiled under his hand. A gentle person by nature, he would have liked to throw Clere through the window for daring to sully Cloisters with this proposal.

  With Clere steadfast in his silence, trying to recover from his surprise at seeing his former patient so changed, Alice spoke instead.

  “Nothing to say Dr Clere? Then let me! I can’t permit what you and these…”, she gestured at Clere’s supporters, scornfully refusing to make eye contact with any of them, “others like you propose. I am unable to provide you with any more information about my preservation than you already know.”

  Clere cleared his throat and tried to defend himself, but his voice didn’t match the strength of hers—she’d caught him off balance. Faced with her anger, his zeal was deflected, but he would not back down. He would not give in, not now, with so much at stake. He could see the others were hesitating, but he would redeem himself, and they would see this one opportunity must not be lost simply because she’d worked herself into a sweat.

  “Dr Langley, I do not believe that is the case. Left to your own devices, with those…” he wasn’t mentioning names, but he meant Principal Hardy and Dr Grossmith and all her friends, “around you who encourage your fantasies, you will continue in your delusion you are Alice Watkins. We know you are Alexis Langley. We have proof you are Alexis Langley.”

  “What proof? A microchip? From an age where technology was easily tampered with? And does it matter? If I’m Alexis Langley who has no memory of her preservation, what good would further study do? You have all the tissue samples, blood samples, hair samples and god knows what other samples. And now you propose using ancient and perilous techniques to help me recover memories. Dr Clere, would you violate the rights of any other member of society in this manner to satisfy your curiosity?”

  “Dr Langley, I would not, but you are not just any other member of society. Your invented memories are obliterating the truth. A truth which belongs to you as much as it belongs to science. As a scientist, can’t you see the potential? The preservation technique begs further study. It reversed the course of a terminal disease, there is evidence of this process in your own body. How can that be? We must learn how. Once the study is complete, you can return to your life.” Clere thought to appeal to the scientist in her, his calculation didn’t work.

  “I will never surrender to any form of testing, Dr Clere,” Alice spat and slapped her hand so hard on the table, Clere’s cronies jumped in their seats. “Because I do not possess the information you require. It is as beyond my knowledge and comprehension as it is yours.”

  “Are you certain? Or do you simply choose to keep it from us?”

  “The fluid vanished from under your noses, Dr Clere,” Alice lifted her arms in a gesture towards the heavens and then folded them in defiance, her face red with anger. “It was never meant to be discovered. Not by you,” she jabbed a finger towards him, then to herself, “not by me.”

  “You have friends in high places, Dr Langley,” he looked at Principal Katya.

  Alice remembered her misplaced fear of Noah and how she’d reformed her opinion. A big reform. She smiled a little. This would end here. Her anger dissipated somewhat. In this arena, Dr Clere seemed small and insignificant to her, he had no power.

  “Something amuses you, Dr Langley?” Clere made the mistake of sounding self-righteous, and Alice eyed him up and down.

  “I don’t find this amusing at all, Dr Clere. I’m merely recalling how I made mistakes in appraising people when I first awoke. I assumed all doctors would have my best interests at heart. But not you, Dr Clere, not you.”

  He shook his head. “You are one person. I have the best interests of the whole world at heart. The preservation technique is beyond anything available today. If your uncle could see what has become of you now, wouldn’t he want the whole world to know the secret? That might have been his intention, to share this success?

  “I was preserved so I might live, Dr Clere. My uncle loved me. I doubt he saw beyond saving my life.”

  “I believe you are mistaken.”

  “I don’t think so,” she paused. “Perhaps when you grew a heart for me, you should have
grown one for yourself.”

  Clere’s colleagues sat open-mouthed throughout the entire exchange, and now, they watched as the proposed subject turned and stalked from the room. Alice didn’t stop until she reached the garden, where she bent over and breathed deeply a few times, her rage subsiding. What a pig of a man! She would love to have slapped that sanctimonious face! Statesman Mellor and Principal Katya caught up with her moments later.

  “That told him!” Principal Katya laughed, clasping Alice’s hands.

  Statesman Mellor enveloped Alice in a hug of victory.

  “Well done Alice! He’s a pompous ass, I thought you were very measured under the circumstances!”

  “What will happen now?” Alice asked, her breathing returning to normal. She’d never confronted anyone in her entire life. And her life was worth defending. Dr Clere had no rights over it.

  Principal Katya linked arms with her and pointed to a table. Statesman Mellor withdrew, still grinning, maybe an early glass of scotch.

  Principal Katya sat Alice down, her earlier mirth subsiding, her voice serious.

  “Alice, even in our enlightened society, there are those who seek personal glory. When a subject as fascinating and challenging as you presents itself, and provides no answers to the centuries of speculation, the hunger for gaining all knowledge outweighs judgement. Clere would blow out your candle to make his burn brighter.” She sighed, “He will hand over the reins to his team, retire and be bitter in defeat the rest of his life. He will not defy the Tabernacle.”

  Alice closed her eyes and nodded, calm returning. Principal Katya, unaccustomed as she was to seeing the ordinarily gentle and sweet Alice roused to anger, wondered if she’d witnessed Alice or Alexis just now, so ably confronting Clere.

  “Clere called you ‘Dr Langley’,” she said, “you didn’t correct him. Does this mean anything?”

  Strange thing, Alice remembered everything that took place since Principal Katya told her of Dr Clere’s presence here. Herself or Alexis? Alice didn’t know, but she sure as hell got courage from somewhere. She shook her head.

  “I’m not sure, Principal Katya. But I do know the memories I held so dear when I first woke, are not the memories that bind me to this life. Clere gave no consideration to the possibility I’ve changed. He said I think of myself as Alice Watkins, but in truth, I’m not so sure I do now.”

  Principal Katya didn’t answer. Whoever manifested today, she showed strength and presence of mind in defending herself against a tyrant. She announced to the world her life was hers and hers alone.

  Chapter 33

  The day Alice returned home to the aunties, all visual contact with the Significator ceased; meaning the ship had at last entered far side median and would soon cross into threshold space, with all the dangers the region might hold. Alice and Noah continued to communicate as much as possible, but she missed seeing his dear face. She told him of her exchange with Dr Clere, and he congratulated her on standing up to him and that she must now put the question of any study firmly out of her life. She also told Patrick, who in his reply wondered if there might not always be someone who considered Alice a mystery worth solving. His words unnerved her, but she determined not to give in to those fears and would cross any bridges as she came to them.

  Her aunts now knew for sure which man she cried for at night, for all she tried to hide it, but didn’t understand why she never spoke of him.

  Mary and Jane let her quietness go for a week or two after she returned from the Tabernacle, but when her low spirits continued, they stepped in, knowing just the person to cheer her up.

  Alice came up from the stable late in the afternoon. Jorrocks and the other horses were clean and settled, the other animals all fed and the plants tended. Pecky fluttered up to the verandah chasing a moth. Alice looked forward to a shower and change of clothes before Mary and Jane came back from Thomas’s house, but stopped as a one-man shuttle, showing city markings came to rest near the gum trees. To her delight, Amelia jumped out and bounded over to Alice, catching her in an affectionate hug.

  “What, no Aunties?” Amelia looked around.

  “They’re visiting Thomas,” Alice laughed. “I didn’t expect you! What a lovely surprise!”

  “Well, I haven’t seen you since the theatre, and that was weeks ago. Your aunties called me and said you need cheering up.”

  Alice nodded.

  “They’re right, but you’re busy with work, and John of course. I didn’t want to bother you. I’ve been pottering about and enjoying the peace, but I feel out of sorts.”

  Amelia linked arms with her while they walked the rest of the way to the house.

  “Well, your aunties tell me you’re sad. You know what I think?”

  Amelia grinned and didn’t wait for Alice to reply.

  “I think you miss Patrick.”

  Seeing her friend’s smiling face and understanding her willingness to help, Alice decided to tell Amelia her terrible secret. She stopped walking and looked up at her, Amelia seemed very tall today, out of uniform, blonde hair a mass of untidy curls. She would be shocked, but Alice couldn’t keep this hidden. Amelia also stopped as Alice turned to her, her smile changing to a puzzled frown as she was confronted by Alice’s pale, anxious expression.

  “What is it, Alice?”

  “Amelia, I missed my period,” she whispered, almost not daring to give the secret a voice because if she did, it would confirm what she already suspected.

  “What?”

  “I missed my period. In fact, I’ve missed two.”

  “Alice, you goose,” Amelia took her by the shoulders. “You don't have periods, menstruation only happens when the biochemical component of your chip is disabled after you marry and want a baby.”

  “I’ve been having periods for months.”

  “Didn’t they replace your original chip on Saturn Station?”

  “No-one said anything, and I didn’t know enough to ask, maybe the old one is still there.”

  “This is a huge oversight by Dr Grossmith and Principal Hardy. Alice,” Amelia’s brown eyes grew wide in disbelief and shock as the truth dawned, “are you telling me, you’re pregnant?”

  Amelia looked towards the house, towards the cliff, towards the shuttle and then back to Alice, before recovering herself with a sharp exhalation of breath.

  “Wow, Alice. Does Statesman Patrick know?”

  Alice’s pale expression gave way to bewilderment, what would Statesman Patrick have to do with it? But of course, the other secret had been kept so well, now she would have to come clean about Noah.

  “No, Amelia, not Patrick.”

  Amelia’s curls bobbed about as she shook her head in her confusion.

  “I don’t understand, Alice. If it isn’t Patrick? Who?” Amelia was in the throes of processing the information when the answer hit her like a tonne of bricks. She put her hands to her face.

  “Oh, my lord, not Principal Ryan?”

  Alice bowed her head and crumpled to her knees, weeping into her hands with sorrow and relief. Amelia quickly dropped to the ground beside her, cringing at her own insensitivity. She’d made it sound as if Principal Ryan had all the characteristics of a bad smell. But Alice didn’t care what Amelia thought of Noah, the emotion of these last few weeks overwhelmed her, and she was glad this part of the truth at least, was out.

  “Alice, I’m so sorry,” Amelia held her close and stroked her hair, “I never suspected, even for a moment. Have you told your aunties?” She cupped Alice’s face to wipe away her tears, but a sudden, sneaking suspicion came upon her, “Alice, you have told Principal Ryan?”

  Alice shook her head, gulping against sobs as she tried to explain why she couldn’t.

  “I’m not telling him, Amelia, at least not yet. All his life he dreamed of going into space, of doing what he does. With a child, he must stay here, and he would have to marry me. It would ruin his career, his life. Besides, I can’t tell him, he’s out of visual range, and he wo
uld want to come back. It would be all my fault if his life is ruined,” she finished, sobbing against Amelia’s shoulder.

  “Oh, sweetie, shh, it’ll be alright,” Amelia soothed, holding Alice close, rocking her and stroking her hair until her crying ceased.

  Amelia helped Alice to her feet, wiping some of the tears with her thumb.

  “Well, he might prefer to be with you and his child,” Amelia said reasonably. “Put to him, Alice, I bet he’d say you are more important than his career.”

  But though Alice insisted informing Noah was out of the question, the next step must be to tell the aunties.

  “I don’t know what to say, Alice. This must be your decision, but I can’t see any way of not telling Jane and Mary. They love you and will want to support you.”

  “I know,” Alice said, forlorn and resigned. “I’ll tell them when they get home.”

  “I’m going to stay with you until I’m sure you’re OK. But for now, we’re going to the city, to the studios and entertainment levels. Go shower and change your clothes, Alice. You smell of horse shit!”

  Alice tried to wipe away her tears with the heel of her hand but only succeeded in rearranging the dirt from her hands all over her face. She looked a sorry sight, with her dirt-streaked, tear-stained face and Amelia smiled one of her silly smiles to reassure her best friend things would turn out just fine.

  “Thank you, Amelia,” Alice managed a small grin. “I’m grateful you’re here.”