Until Hugh Patterson had kissed her the other night, that was...
Lisa could imagine that she was standing on the edge of a precipice here. She could—and undoubtedly should—step back onto firm, safe ground. If she let herself fall, there were two possibilities. One was that Hugh would catch her—probably with his lips to start with—and the other was that she would just keep falling, in which case she might crash into an embarrassing heap because he would find out that she wasn’t very good at sex, but...
But... There was something about tonight that felt different. Hugh had found her at one of the lowest points she could remember in a very long time. She was missing Abby and worried about her but aware that her sister would actually be able to cope perfectly well without her, which made this a turning point in her life, but it was scary because she couldn’t imagine such a different future. She had been gutted by the death of their patient. She’d realised what an insignificant speck she was in the face of a limitless night sky and sea and she’d been feeling so lonely.
His company had been a godsend because it was exactly what she needed to counteract that loneliness. The way he’d held her face up with his finger under her chin and tried to read her face like a book had made her feel as if her well-being was important to him. That he was really seeing her. He didn’t know a lot about her life, other than how important her sister was to her, but it felt like he knew more than any man ever had.
He’d shared something personal, too. Physically, as in bringing her into his private cabin, but emotionally as well, by telling her the story of how he’d been betrayed by the woman he’d loved enough to be about to marry. Above all, he’d made her laugh. He’d given her a moment that had obliterated the worry for Abby, fear for the future and the grief for the man who’d died tonight.
Right now, he was silently asking her if she wanted to be made love to and the answer was a cry that came from somewhere very deep in Lisa’s soul. She felt astonishingly vulnerable in this moment but...she trusted this man and she’d never before wanted so much to be as close to another person as possible. She needed that comfort. To escape for a little while from any worries or sadness in her world. To know that she wasn’t as insignificant as she’d imagined?
She still hesitated, however. Because, judging by that kiss, Hugh was an expert in all things sexual and she...well, he was going to be disappointed, wasn’t he?
Oddly, the nerves in her fingers seemed to have stopped working because she made no attempt to hang onto her glass when Hugh gently took it from her and put it down beside his on the table. The nerves in her lips, on the other hand, were in overdrive as he slowly turned back, cupped her chin in one hand and touched her lips with his own in the same way he had the first time he’d done this. Such a feather-light touch, a soft rub, a tiny lick. Infinitely subtle changes of pressure as if her mouth was being not only invited to dance but being led around a dance floor so that being good at it was effortless. A tiny sound escaped her lips as Lisa let herself sink blissfully deeper into that kiss.
* * *
It was that tiny sound that totally undid Hugh.
That took him to a place he didn’t recognise, in fact. He’d seen the heart-breaking vulnerability in Lisa’s eyes before he’d kissed her and that had set off alarm bells like never before because he knew he was in a position to hurt Lisa. But she knew as well as he did that this was only about tonight and he could feel that her need was as urgent as his own. And...what really did something unprecedented to his head—and his heart—was that he could see the trust she was gifting him.
That sound was like the sigh of someone who’d pushed past a final barrier and could see the place they were desperate to get to. And, even more than how much his own body was craving the release of indulging this astonishingly powerful desire, that sound made Hugh want this to be something special for Lisa. She might not be a virgin but there was something that told him Lisa was nervous of sex for some reason. Afraid of it, even? He had given her the joy of her first taste of real champagne. Maybe, if he took things slowly and gently, he could give her the knowledge that sex could be just as good. Perhaps even better...
So that’s what he did. He lost track of time but it didn’t matter a damn how long this took. He took his sweet time getting them both naked and into his bed and then introducing himself to every inch of Lisa’s body with his hands and his lips. He could feel every time she got tense or tried to please him by hurrying things along so he would slow her hands. Capture them and hold them above her head for a moment or two.
‘Shh... It’s all good,’ he would murmur to reassure her, before kissing her for as long as it took for her to relax again. ‘Wait... We’ve got all the time in the world.’
* * *
Maybe it was the gentle motion of the sea way beneath them.
Or maybe a taste of champagne on top of the emotional and physical fatigue of this evening had put Lisa into a space like no other.
Or—and this was far the most likely—it was because this was Hugh she was with. A man who clearly knew his way around a woman’s body. It seemed like he knew her body better than she knew it herself. And whenever she had the fear that he was going to discover that she was being a complete fraud and only pretending that she was loving this, he would simply back off. Slow the pace and force her to be patient when all she wanted to try and do was give him the pleasure of the release he more than deserved.
She’d try again in just a minute, she decided. Surely he’d had enough of trying to bring her to a climax. It wasn’t going to happen and the worry was that he would guess that she was faking it, like others had, unless she could be more convincing than she had ever been before. But the flicker of doubt came and went, along with the determination to move and touch Hugh again in a way she was sure he wouldn’t be able to resist. She was caught, she realised, in an escalating tension being created by the movement of Hugh’s fingers.
She put her hand over his to ask him to stop but he ignored her and, in alarm, Lisa opened her eyes, only to find that Hugh’s face was right beside her own and he was watching her. And that was when it happened. She was falling. Falling into wave after wave of the most intense pleasure she’d ever experienced in her life.
Her astonished gasp triggered what she’d been trying to achieve for what felt like for ever to make sure that this was good for Hugh and, even as those extraordinary waves began to recede, she heard his groan of need and then she could feel him inside her and, unbelievably, the new movement was building that tension all over again.
This time, when she unravelled, he was holding her tightly in his arms so she could feel the shudders in his body and knew that they were both falling. He was still holding her as she tried to slow her breathing afterwards, aware of the pounding of both their hearts. Aware that Hugh was watching her again and there was a question in his eyes but a smile on his face as if he already knew the answer.
‘Good?’ he whispered.
Lisa could feel a smile curving her own lips. ‘Unicorns,’ she whispered back.
The sparkle of delight in Hugh’s eyes and the way his smile widened told Lisa that he understood. That he couldn’t be happier that she’d found it magic and the knowledge that he was so happy that she was happy gave Lisa a whole new sensation of falling.
Falling in love?
‘So, what do you reckon?’ Hugh was still smiling. ‘Is sex as good as or better than champagne?’
That’s what this had been, Lisa reminded herself hurriedly. Just sex. One of those “good things” in life—like dancing or fine wine. It might have been the best sex she’d ever had in her life but she and Hugh weren’t lovers, they were only friends. But that didn’t seem to matter right now because Lisa was still under the spell of the magic and it seemed that she was stepping into a whole new world.
‘I’m not sure,’ she murmured. ‘I might have to test that theory again sometime.�
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The growling sound that Hugh made was most definitely one of approval. ‘I think that’s very wise. One should never jump to conclusions about important things. I’m happy to help with the research.’
But Lisa wriggled free as he began to trail kisses down her neck and onto her shoulder. Her world had just been rocked in a rather spectacular manner but reality was making its presence felt and there was suddenly a beat of fear to be found in the knowledge that she had lost control to such an extent. That, for heaven knows how long, the most important thing in her life had been Hugh and what was happening between them. She’d never let desire overwhelm her like that before. It was dangerous because it distracted you and, if you let important things slip from your grasp when you were distracted, it could ruin your life. That she could remember a lifelong mantra she had just ignored but still feel so incredibly happy was confusing, to say the least.
‘I need to go,’ she said. ‘I think it’s time I got back to my own cabin and got some sleep.’
Hugh let her slip out of his grasp. ‘No problem,’ he responded. ‘We’ve got all the time in the world for that research.’
Which wasn’t true, Lisa thought as she moved quietly along deserted narrow hallways a few minutes later. They had little more than another week before the fantasy of shipboard life, exotic locations and now mind-blowing sex would have to come to an end. But that didn’t seem to matter either. Because, even if tonight was the only night she could ever have with Hugh Patterson, it had been worth it. She wasn’t broken after all. She’d just needed a person who cared enough to show her that and, while she couldn’t possibly be in love with someone like Hugh, she could love him for giving her that. For making her feel that perhaps she did deserve that kind of joy in her life.
And, even if it was dangerous to be distracted like that, it had nothing to do with her real life, did it? Abby was safe. Lisa was here, earning extra money to make sure she could maintain that safety for both of them. So the distraction was confined. And limited. It could only last a matter of days, until this cruise was finished and she flew back to her real life. A handful of days was just a blip in anyone’s lifetime.
Could there be any real harm in enjoying it while it lasted?
CHAPTER SEVEN
SO...SEX WAS one of the things that got better the more often you did it.
Or, she should qualify that, Lisa realised, because it was only sex with Hugh that continued to surprise and delight her on new levels every time. The total opposite to her past experience in relationships, in fact, when sex had become progressively more predictable and dull. Anxiety inducing as well, because she’d known she wasn’t performing as well as expected.
She knew why it was so different, of course. Hugh was the complete opposite to anyone she had ever chosen to get close to in the past. The bad boy versus the sensible, safe kind of man. Not that they were in a relationship. They both knew that this was never going to be any more than a friendship and that their time together was limited. Perhaps that was why they were both making the most of it.
Keeping it secret was part of the thrill as well. Maybe that was making it safer to enjoy because it confirmed that this was a friendship with hidden benefits rather than a relationship that carried responsibilities. Or perhaps it really was frowned upon for crew members to hook up, but whatever the reason was, the agreement was tacit and became more enjoyable as the days ticked past. There were a couple of long days at sea as the ship sailed around the bottom of Italy to the Greek Islands on the itinerary and then back again.
They both became very good at the game of working together without betraying how close they were, resisting the urge to hold eye contact a little too long, or engineer moments when their hands or bodies might touch as they moved in sometimes confined spaces. They were being careful not to be seen visiting each other’s cabins and spending only a part of each night together, and they could make it appear that they went on shore leave separately but meeting up as soon as they were out of sight.
Like they had for a delightful day on the island of Mykonos, where they had met up at a private beach that was not on the usual tourist radar. There were small fishing boats in the nearby port, pelicans that seemed to be expert in posing for photographs and a waveless beach that was like the biggest swimming pool ever.
And like they had again today as they’d reached the second-last destination of this cruise and it was Blue Watch’s turn to have shore leave, having stayed on the ship for the visit to Santorini.
With the cruise ship docked in the port of Salerno as they reached Italy again on the way back to Spain, there had been multiple choices for a day’s outing. There were buses going to Naples, to Sorrento with a boat trip to the island of Capri, and a tour that took in both Mount Vesuvius and the ancient city of Pompeii.
They were all destinations that took Lisa’s breath away so why did she avoid every one of them?
Because Hugh had offered her something far more enticing. Another day alone with him and somewhere that no one else would be likely to be going.
‘I know this walk,’ he told her. ‘It’s called The Valley of the Ancient Mills. And it’s right under everybody’s noses but they’ll be jumping on the buses to go further afield. This valley is quiet and green, and full of the ruins of old mills and a river and waterfalls, and we can walk up the hills towards a gorgeous village called Ravello, but on the way is another little village. I don’t even know the name of it but it has a restaurant with a terrace and a view and—’
‘Stop...’ Lisa pressed her finger against Hugh’s lips. ‘I’m sold. How could I go past a restaurant with a terrace?’
She couldn’t. Not after the most romantic evening ever, in that French restaurant, even though there had been nothing romantic happening between them yet. How much more fabulous would it be to have a setting like that when you were with your lover? Well, okay, she couldn’t—and didn’t—think of Hugh as her lover and she knew there was a definite limit to this fling and that this outing today would be almost the last, but she was making memories here, wasn’t she? And memories could be woven into a fantasy that she could enjoy for ever. A private fantasy. She hadn’t confessed the new development in her life to Abby, although her sister had guessed something was going on.
‘You just look so...different, Lise. So...happy. I’ve never seen you kind of glowing like this before.’
‘I’m happy you’re okay. That that last clinical session was the total opposite of that horrible first one. She won’t be the first patient to see you as an inspiration.’
But Abby hadn’t been convinced. ‘It’s more than that. You look like, I don’t know, a kid on Christmas morning.’
‘I’m loving this cruise, that’s all. I could go to Pompeii on our next stop, if I want. Or walk up to the top of Mount Vesuvius. How incredible is that?’
She had convinced Abby that her excitement was at the prospect of seeing such famous sights but the real reason was far simpler.
‘Actually, you had me at the name of the valley,’ she told Hugh. ‘It sounds very...romantic.’
And it was. It was as green and quiet as Hugh had promised and the shade was welcome in the increasing heat of a late Italian morning. There were wild cyclamen making a carpet of pale pink beneath the trees, the buzzing of bees and bird calls nearby and the refreshing ripple of the river not far away. There were moss-covered ruins of the old stone mills and, best of all, they had this track all to themselves. A private world. Hugh took Lisa’s hand to help her up a rocky part of the path but he didn’t let go when she was back on smooth ground.
Instead, he pulled her close and kissed her with one of those slow and, oh, so thorough kisses that Lisa was quite probably getting addicted to because they were a drug all by themselves. She could feel herself floating away within seconds towards that place where nothing else existed. Just herself and Hugh and the promise of absolute bliss...
But Hugh broke the kiss too soon this time, albeit reluctantly.
‘We need to keep going,’ he said. ‘We’ve got a bit further to go and this weather’s not going to last.’
‘I heard that there was stormy weather coming but I thought it was a few days away yet.’
‘The big storms probably won’t catch us until we’re somewhere between Sardinia and Malaga on our way home but it’s going to get overcast later today and will probably rain by tomorrow.’
Lisa didn’t want to think about arriving in Malaga, which was when she would be leaving the ship to fly back to England. ‘I hope the sun lasts while we have lunch on that terrace,’ she said. ‘I can’t wait.’
‘I hope it lasts a bit longer. If we’ve got time and enough energy, we can walk further up to Ravello and go exploring and then get a taxi or bus back to the ship. There’s an amazing old villa in Ravello called the Villa Rufolo and it’s well worth visiting.’
‘You know so many places to go.’
‘I’ve done it so many times. Too many, perhaps. I usually try to find something new to see at every destination but...’ he smiled at Lisa. ‘It’s actually a lot more fun sharing the things I already know with you because... I don’t know...it makes them more special.’
His words made Lisa feel special. In fact, knowing that Hugh was getting genuine pleasure from sharing things that he liked with her was giving her an even stronger connection to this man who had the most gorgeous smile in the world. It gave her a bit of lump in her throat, to be honest.
They finally left the beautiful valley and its mills behind and followed a path that gave them wonderful views past forests and lemon groves and terraced fields of tomatoes to where the town of Amalfi nestled right beside the sparkling blue of the Mediterranean. The path led through stone archways that were charmingly decorated with old wicker baskets and unusual-looking utensils.
Awakening the Shy Nurse Page 10