Just As I Am

by Lynn Jaxon

  “A few years was long enough Mr. Davis. Trust me. He has the southern charm down pat. He is a gentleman too. You should be very proud,” she says and then she blushes the cutest shade of pink against her pale cheeks.

  “Marley, please do something about my dad!” Henry implores.

  I look over at Henry and say, “Your mother tried for years. What you see is what you get. If she couldn’t change him, then nobody can. Hey, and that’s not a bad thing. Are you and Kristi coming to lunch?”

  “No, we promised her parents that we would drive down to Conway to see them this weekend. If we don’t get going, the day will be gone by the time we get there.”

  Wow, it must be getting serious if he’s going to stay with her parents. I will have to ask him about it soon.

  We all hug and say our goodbyes. I can honestly say everyone looks truly happy. I know Em is smiling down on us all.

  “Well, it looks like it’s just you and me old man. Do you want to go out or just eat at my house? I have all the fixins for a chef salad if you’re up for some protein filled rabbit food.” I laugh.

  “Protein filled rabbit food it is,” Ben chuckles. “Let’s go. I smell like something crawled in my shirt and died. I need a long, hot shower. And I hate to break it to you, but you don’t smell like roses either.”

  Well shit, now I’m picturing him naked in the shower with the droplets of water and soap sliding down his muscular chest and back down to his tight ass and... STOP Marley, get it together. I chide myself.

  Once I break myself out of those thoughts of Ben, I slap him on his muscular arm and feign hurt. “I will be sure to rub my stink all in your truck, Mister.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Benson

  I’ve got to get in a cold shower and stat. All I can think about is Marley rubbing her “stink” all over me, which isn’t really stink at all. She smells like her citrus body wash, sunshine, and heat. The smell of a well-worked body is not a turn off at all. Quite the opposite. I’m beginning to think she is doing this on purpose. Saying little things to get me worked up. And it is working. These running shorts are doing nothing to cover the fact that I could drive nails with my dick right now. Fuck! I adjust myself, and we head to the car. The glint in her beautiful blue eyes tells me that she saw what her words, not to mention her tight little running shorts and tank, are doing to me. Little minx.

  “Can we both take a shower at the same time?” She looks at me like I have two heads and I correct myself. “Not together, but you in your shower and me in mine? I have been places where if they are running together, someone gets burned.” Not that I would mind her jumping in the shower with me. Damn, I so need to get my head out of the gutter. We are just friends.

  “In different showers, at the same time, is fine. I haven’t had issues with water pressure or scalding. My parents have never complained when they are here visiting me from Chicago.”

  “Great, I’m going to jump in the shower and then I can help you chop veggies for the salad when you get out.”

  My dick is so not happy with me. I’m finally no longer sporting a raging hard on. I had to stop picturing what Marley would look like out of her clothes and focus on just taking a shower.

  I can hear Marley singing in the shower when I go into the living room to call Alan and check in on EM Fitness. She is singing “Reason to Stay” by Brett Young. It looks like we both have a fondness for his music. I listened to his latest album the entire ride from Ohio to Arkansas. I’ll have to ask her about her love of country music. I saw that Brett Young is coming for a concert in Chicago at the end of the month. I thought I remembered Em telling me that Marley’s parents moved to Chicago a few years ago, which she just confirmed when we were talking about taking showers at the same time. Maybe I can surprise her with a trip and the show.

  I call Alan, and he picks up on the first ring. “What’s up, brother? How are things going in Razorback country? How are the boys and Marley?”

  “Things are great. We all just finished running ten miles in prep for the race next weekend. I will be back home late Sunday or Monday after the race. How are things going at the gym?”

  “Things couldn’t be better. Ever since we hired Mike and David, there has been a big increase in the number of members who have added personal training to their monthly membership. That means more money in our pockets. Have you had a chance to look for any buildings we could use to open up a gym there?”

  “I actually have an appointment with a commercial realtor on Monday morning. I hope to have something lined up by the time I leave. Is your old fraternity brother, Dale, still interested in running the gym here?”

  “I’m not sure man. He said something about his parents wanting to travel around the world or something. He may not want to move if they aren’t even going to be in the area. I will keep you posted. Have you thought about maybe moving there and running it? At least until Mitch and Henry graduate. I know they would be thrilled to have you closer than a ten-hour drive away.”

  “I have actually been thinking a lot about it. I love it here. This part of Arkansas is so beautiful, and I have a feeling this is where the boys are going to stay after they graduate. I really don’t have anything holding me in Ohio except for EM Fitness, you, the house and my memories. Em is buried there, so I don’t like the thought of leaving her. Rationally I know that she is not really there.”

  There is a moment of silence on the phone, and then Alan says what’s on his mind. “Is there another reason you may want to move to Arkansas? One with chestnut hair, a rocking body, and a personality everyone loves. That wouldn’t have one thing to do with you staying, now would it?”

  “Marley is just a friend. Yes, she is easy on the eyes and so much fun to be around, but that is all there is. Absolutely nothing is going on between us.”

  “Thou doth protest too much,” Alan says as he chuckles.

  “Whatever man. I’m glad things are going well there. I will call you if I find something on Monday. See you in about a week. As always, call me if anything comes up. You’re doing a fantastic job. Love ya, man.”

  “Thanks, Benson. Enjoy your time. I’m sure nothing is going to come up.” We hang up, and I sit and wait for Mar to get out of the shower.

  I’m not sure how long I have been sitting here contemplating life and what I want to do for the rest of mine, Marley startles me by placing her hand on my shoulder and asks, “Are you ready to go help me fix some lunch?”

  “That sounds great. My stomach has been talking loud enough for your neighbors to hear. What can I do to help?”

  Marley starts gathering all the veggies out of the refrigerator, three kinds of lettuce, baby spinach, onion, carrots, bell pepper, radishes, cucumber, tomato, and mushrooms. She looks at me and says, “How are you at chopping? I just had my nails done last week, and I always end up chopping off at least one tip when I chop veggies. I’m surprised I haven’t chopped off a finger. My knives are razor sharp.”

  “I know my way around a knife. Chopping is one of many talents I just so happen to possess. I’m at your service.” I pick up the tomato, onion and a bell pepper and start juggling the veggies in the air. “Juggling is also one of my infamous talents.” I set the vegetables down and pick up a carrot and start dicing it into small coins. Twenty minutes later we are sitting down at the table enjoying our salad.

  Marley is devouring her salad. She was really hungry. I love a woman who isn’t afraid to eat in front of a man. “This is delicious,” she says, “I could eat another bowl full.”

  I laugh and say, “How can someone so tiny hold so much food? I’m thoroughly impressed.”

  “Didn’t you know I’m one of those professional eaters?” she jokes.

  “It’s usually the smallest ones who can put away the most food,” I say.

  I push back from the table and tell Marley, “I’ve got the dishes. You go and relax or grade papers or whatever it is you need to take care of. You don’t need to entertain me. I
’m a pro at washing dishes. Em and I didn’t have a dishwasher the first few years we were married.” I raise my hands in the air and say. “These hands were the dishwasher.”

  “Thanks so much, Ben. I really do need to go and work on my syllabus to submit to the department chair for the fall semester. Luckily, I’m not teaching any classes this summer, so no papers to grade.”

  “Get to it then. I’ll be finished in a jiffy. Maybe when you’re finished, you can take me around to look at this beautiful town.”

  “Sounds great. It shouldn’t take me too long. I just need to tweak the one I already have from last fall semester on my computer.”

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Marley

  I really didn’t need to work on this syllabus today. There is no rush, but I just had to get away from Ben for a while. His presence is causing my mouth to go dry, my body temperature to rise, and my pulse to race. With each passing minute, I’m finding it harder and harder not to fall for him. Em’s permission was like the icing on the cake. I never would have even entertained the idea, no matter how I felt if she wouldn’t have encouraged me. I would love to see the letter she sent Ben. Maybe one day he will be able to share it with me.

  An hour later I bring myself into the living room where Ben is doing crunches on the floor. He has removed his shirt and is only wearing the low-slung joggers he put on after his shower. Holy mother of pearl, does he look mouthwatering. I wonder how long I can stand here gawking before he realizes it. His abdominals are like a work of art. You could bounce a dime off of them. I spy a new tattoo that I hadn’t noticed before just below his pecs that says ‘Trust’ in beautiful script. I wonder what that means to him.

  After watching him do over one hundred sit-ups, he rolls over and begins push-ups. His back is as delicious as his abs and chest. So much for getting myself together. I need him bad. A woman can only take so much. I clear my throat, so he will know I’m in the room. “What in the world are you doing, Ben? We ran ten miles this morning. Why are you exercising?”

  “Do you want me to be honest?”

  “Yes, always. You can tell me anything,” I say.

  Ben reaches his hand out for me to come to him. He takes a towel and wipes off his face and chest before pulling me in. “The truth is. I can’t get you out of my head. You’re all I seem to think about these days. You’ve no idea just how beautiful and desirable you are. The fact that you’re smart and funny make you even more so. Then go and add the letter from Em telling me she wants me to be happy and she thinks you are as perfect as I do. It’s hard for me to hold back. But I am because part of me feels like it’s too soon for me to move on this way. Not that I feel like moving on will tarnish the memories I have of Em and me. That will never happen. She was my one of a kind first love that was going to be my only love. No one else was even remotely on my radar when she was alive. Maybe, in a way, I’m a little scared of falling in love again. What if I don’t know how? Does that make sense? When you fall in love at age fourteen, and that is the only person you’ve ever known in the physical and emotional sense, it’s scary as hell.”

  I reach up and touch his face, and lean in to brush a gentle kiss upon his lips. A slow, tender whisper of a kiss. “I’m scared too. I have been in my office pretending I had work to do because the pull I have towards you is so strong. It is getting harder and harder to fight my feelings. And just like you, that letter from Em ripped me open. It ripped open my heart that I had sewn shut over twenty years ago when I lost my child, and the man I thought loved me. I’m feeling things I have never felt before. Sure, I have been with a few men, but have felt nothing meaningful. I want you. I want to see where this road takes us. When I said to you come just as you are, I meant it then, and I mean it now. I want you just as you are. The man who has no clue just how perfect he is.

  It’s like chains have been released from us both. His lust filled eyes look at me, and a slow smile builds on his handsome face. I can feel my heart beating in my chest and a pulsing coming fast at my core in anticipation of what’s to come. My breath quickens, and I’m feeling light-headed. Just kiss me, please. I internally beg. And kiss me, he does. He consumes me. It is teeth clashing and tongues dancing, in a dance that seems like it is familiar yet new. I can’t stop touching him. I’m like a blind woman using her hands to explore and memorize something new. I caress every inch of his chest, arms, back, and abdomen. He starts kissing me down my neck, nipping and licking as he goes. I’m on fire for him.

  “Oh Mar, you smell so sweet. I can’t wait to taste every inch of your delectable body,” he says as his hands trace up and down my back.”

  I moan out his name so loud the neighbors probably hear me, but I don’t care. He slowly brings his hands to my waist, working his way under my shirt, pausing and looking at me for permission. I nod my head, and he brings his hands to my heavy breasts, unclasping the front hook and freeing them. Ben squeezes my nipple, shooting a pain that quickly turns to pleasure all the way to my core. “Please,” I beg. I don’t know what I’m begging for. I just need more.

  “Please what, Mar? Tell me what you need.”

  I’m panting. “I need y-y-your mouth on me,” I stutter out. He slowly lifts my shirt over my head and begins to kiss me again, deep and passionate with a desperate hunger. He breaks away and then continues kissing down my neck with more licking and nipping. Then my body breaks into goosebumps when he takes my breast into his mouth like a starved man. He is so rough, yet gentle at the same time. Worshiping me like I’m an answer to a prayer. I’m not ready to take this all the way just yet, but I could live here and die a happy woman.

  I reach down and feel his cock sticking out of the top of his low-slung pants, precum leaking from the tip. When I rub my thumb over the tip, he gasps. He gently takes my hand and says, “Not now. This is all for your pleasure. We have all the time we need.”

  I’m lost in this man. He gives my other breast the same attention and then works his way back up my chest, neck, and to my mouth. He pulls me tighter to him, if that is even possible, and continues tasting my lips. When he pulls away, our lips are bee stung and swollen from the kisses. “I had to taste you, Mar. You’re so much more than I ever could have imagined. I’m ready to see where this leads us. Tell me you want this, too.”

  “Ben, God, I want this more than anything.”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Benson

  Pulling back was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I want this woman like I want my next breath, but I respect her so much that I don’t want to go too far too soon and have us both regret it. This is new, and we have time to see where it takes us.

  “You’re amazing Marley. I hope you know that. I didn’t mean to take things this far, but I’ll be damned if I regret one second of it.” I reach over and brush my fingertips down the side of her face in a soft caress. I could touch her every minute of the day and never tire of it. “Here, let me help you get your shirt back on.” I pull it gently over her head and run my fingers through her silky hair. I pull her to me and take one more kiss that she freely gives.

  I stand up and help her to her feet. “Are you still up for going on that drive around town? I would like to see if I can find any buildings that might work for an EM Fitness. I know I’m meeting with the realtor on Monday, but I want to see what might be available. The quicker I find a building, the sooner I can make some big decisions.”

  Marley looks hopeful, and that makes me happy. I guess I will be hearing an ‘I told you so’ from Alan.

  Marley throws me her keys and says, “Let’s take my car. It’s a convertible.”

  Damn, this car is as sexy as she is. It is a charcoal gray 2019 Chevrolet Corvette convertible. “When did you get this? It is sexy as fuck, and I can’t wait to see you driving it.”

  “I bought it in February. It was an impulse buy. I saw it and fell in love. My parents laughed at me saying I was having an early mid-life crisis. I was kinda hoping to see you drive it. I will a
dmit I have had a few fantasies about you and this car.”

  Benson licks his lips and says, “Do tell, babe.”

  “Nope, we will save that for another day. It will make me want to rip your clothes off, and we are trying to take this slow.”

  Taking Marley’s hand in mine, I say, “All joking aside, I will take this as slow as you want me too. I don’t ever want you to feel pressure from me.”

  “You don’t ever make me feel pressured. You’re the most considerate man I have ever been around. It is so refreshing that you put my feelings ahead of your own. But this goes both ways. I don’t want you to feel like you have to push things faster than you’re ready for either.”

  Leaning in, I give her the softest of kisses to let her know just how special I think she is.

  We go downtown and then to the area around campus. Ideally, I would like to open the gym near the University of Arkansas. We are just about to head back when I see a new strip mall under construction and a “For Sale/Lease” sign up in the windows. This has six spaces available. The end space is the biggest, and it is the one with the sign in the window. I make a mental note to ask to see this with the realtor first thing. It would be perfect if I could get the corner space and the next two adjoining spaces. That would give me plenty of room for the gym.

  We enjoy a quiet dinner at a local restaurant downtown and then head back to Marley’s place. She is barely keeping her eyes open on the drive back. The hum of the engine and the wind blowing through her hair is making her even sleepier. When we get to the house, she is out like a light. This seems to be a recurring theme for her. I carefully scoop Marley up into my arms and carry her into her master bedroom. She turns her body into me and whispers, “Please sleep with me tonight and just hold me in your arms.” How can I say no to that?