Taming the Darkness

by Sarah Carter

  “Should rest,” Avery finishes. “You’re technically injured.”

  Moving my arm around, I say, “My shoulder feels fine.”

  “Raphael says you need to rest, so it’s probably best we follow his advice,” Avery states, walking over the bed. He kicks off his shoes.

  Looking down at my blood-soaked shirt, I say, “I need a shower.”

  Avery moves his gaze to me. “Do you want me to join you?”

  “That’s up to you. You’ll be safe out here by yourself,” I say.

  “That’s not what I was asking,” Avery replies. “Anyway, pretty sure I don’t feel safe if you aren’t right next to me.”

  I tilt my head to the bathroom. “Come on. Let’s get cleaned up.”

  We walk into the bathroom. On the counter, there are pajamas and clean clothes.

  The bathroom is big. The shower is a walk-in with glass doors. Avery saunters over to the shower and turns it on. I start to take my clothes off. Avery does the same. Finally, we’re naked and looking at each other. “I’m not going to bite,” Avery laughs. He extends his hand and I take it.

  He opens the door and we get in. I go under the water first. It’s hot and feels marvelous. I put my head back under the water. Avery grabs a bar of soap and starts to wash the blood off me. The touch is gentle. I look at him. “This is all so foreign.”

  “What is?” He asks, gently cleaning around my injured shoulder.

  “These feelings,” I answer. “This sense of calm.”

  Avery smiles at me. “It’s nice, huh?”

  “I never knew being with someone could feel this way,” I whisper, grabbing his hand. Avery looks at me and I stare into his beautiful blue eyes.

  Looking down, he sighs. “I know exactly what you mean.”

  “You do?”

  He turns his gaze towards me. “I feel happiness. My sister is safe. She’s with my mother and then…there’s you.” Avery places his hand on the side of my face. “I feel something…for you.”

  I place my hand over his heart. “I can’t believe this is happening. What if we never found each other?”

  “It’s a little weird, right?” Avery replies. “It took a war for us to get here.”

  “Who are we to doubt God’s plans?” I say.

  “I thought my sister was just gone. I never thought there was a God. I never wanted to believe there was a God. Why would we go through all that hell?”

  Grabbing his hand in mine, I say, “To bring you here.”

  “What?” He says, looking up at me.

  “Your whole life has led to this. Maybe you are supposed to help save the fallen because you know what the darkness is. Maybe you were supposed to help me find my light because you know what it’s like. Neither of us ever thought we could feel anything, and yet, here we are.”

  He takes a deep breath and finally says, “I care about you.” His deep blue eyes lock on mine.

  That takes my breath away. “I care about you, too,” I finally whisper. Avery puts his hand on the side of my face and kisses me and in that moment, I know I’m safe with him. We stand there kissing each other.

  Finally, he pushes me against the shower wall. The kisses intensify. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close. It’s a desperate need to feel each other, to be with each other. Avery pulls away and starts to kiss up my neck. I tilt my head to give him easier access.

  “Avery…” I exhale.

  Looking into my eyes, he asks, “What do you want?”

  “You,” I reply.

  “Are you sure it’s safe?” He asks, looking concerned.

  I shake my head. “I have no idea, but right now, in this moment, I don’t care.”

  He leans over and kisses me again. We madly and passionately roam our hands all over each other. Finally, he lifts me up and my world comes crashing down around me in the best way. It’s perfection. It’s nothing like I imagined. I feel whole. I feel the light. It sweeps through me in waves. I have no idea how much time passes. It’s like we are frozen in this moment. It’s everything to me. It’s home. It’s peace. It’s the light.

  Finally, we collapse against each other, both of us breathing hard. “Holy crap,” Avery gasps.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  Nodding, he replies, “I’ve never experienced anything like that before.”

  “Sex with an angel,” I laugh.

  “That,” he emphasizes, “And sex with someone I care about. I never knew it could feel like that. It used to be hollow and empty. This was so much more than that.” Avery looks into my eyes. “You are so much more than that.”

  We stare at each other for a minute before I reach up and kiss him. I finally pull away and say, “Well, I guess I’m not going to hell for that. I don’t feel any different.”

  “That’s a good thing,” Avery laughs. “We should probably shower now and get to bed.”

  “Probably a good idea,” I reply. “We are going to run out of hot water soon.”

  In a short amount of time, we are crawling into bed. “Soooo tired,” Avery groans.

  “I am, too,” I reply. “We can go a while without sleeping but none of us have every gone through this much before. It’s emotional and physical exhaustion.”

  “What I’ve seen in the last few days is worse than anything I have ever seen on TV,” Avery sighs, as he lays down.

  I lay down next to him. “I’ve definitely never been in battles like this before,” I reply.

  “How mundane is life going to seem after this is all over,” Avery laughs.

  “I will still be a reaper. That’s not very mundane, but I get what you are saying.”

  He rolls over on his side and looks at me and I roll to face him. “It must be a crazy life. Going around reaping souls from evil people and delivering them to hell.”

  Shrugging, I say, “I have never really known anything else.”

  “How does a reaper learn to reap?” Avery asks.

  “We shadow other reapers,” I say. “I didn’t have to do it very long before I was released out on my own.”

  “Reaper apprenticeship, now I have heard of everything,” Avery laughs.

  I smirk. “Yeah, we are taught as much as possible before we’re allowed to work alone.”

  “So, you grew up on Earth?” Avery asks. “How does that work if your mom was cast out of Heaven?”

  “I was taken in by white angels,” I reply. “I grew up with my mom but was taken to heaven throughout my life. That’s how I met Gale. I think that’s another reason why my mom resents me. I was taken to heaven all the time and she wasn’t allowed back.”

  Avery reaches over and strokes my hair. “I don’t believe she feels that way about you.”

  “Oh no,” I emphasize. “She does. I barely even hear from her or talk to her. I’m a constant reminder of why she wasn’t allowed back. Of course she hates me.”

  “Well, we both grew up without loving parents,” Avery says. “So, I guess we know how each other feels.”

  I smile. “Yeah.”

  “So, how did you not feel the light if you grew up partially in Heaven?” Avery asks.

  Shrugging, I reply, “I was the brooding, dark kid in the corner. Other white angel children ran from me. Not Gale though. He’s been my best friend from the beginning. We just aged differently.”

  “He really has no idea the mental age difference between you two, huh?”

  I shake my head. “No, he’s like every little kid and wants to believe he’s older than he really is.”

  “So, Heaven really doesn’t have time,” Avery whispers.

  “It does and doesn’t,” I reply. “It’s just really super, super slow compared to the rest of creation.”

  “What about hell?” He asks.

  I pause for a moment. “It’s on its own time. Not as long as heaven, not as short at Earth. I never know how much time is going to pass when I bounce around from place to place”

  “Your whole existence is crazy. What you
do and what you experience,” Avery states. “Makes everything on Earth look a little mundane.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I gasp. “You have free will. You guys can do whatever you want. I don’t think you know how precious that is.”

  Avery smiles. “Yeah, but what you do is pretty hard core.”

  “Yes, but it took meeting you to realize there’s more to this life.”

  Reaching over, Avery tucks my hair behind my ear. “You found your light and your journey is almost complete.”

  “You’ve come a long way, too. Think of who you were even two days ago.”

  “I wish I could see my sister,” Avery says. “Just once. To give her a hug and tell her that I love her.”

  I smile. “She hears you. When it’s your time, you will get to see her again.”

  “And my mom…”

  “And your mom,” I say.

  Avery laughs softly and looks up to the ceiling. “My dad can suffer forever, I’m glad I won’t have to see him again.”

  Avery yawns loudly.

  Putting my hand on his chest, I say, “You’re tired. Let’s get some sleep.”

  He holds out his arm and I crawl into it. Avery pulls me tight against him. It feels so incredibly wonderful. Laying my head down on his chest, I breathe him in. “Good night, Raven,” Avery whispers.

  “Good night,” I whisper back. With that I close my eyes and drift off.

  It’s hot. It feels like my skin is on fire and I can’t get any relief. Despair seeps into my heart. I feel lost. Where am I? Those familiar red eyes appear in front of me. “Come to me, Raven,” an alluring voice says. It’s like honey to my ears. Something pulls on my insides. I want this. I need this. “You belong with us. You belong here. Come to me, Raven. Come to me.”

  My heart yearns for this voice. It calls out to me like a song in the night. Then it dawns on me that this isn’t right. I try to break free from the pull. “No,” I gasp.

  “Yes,” the voice purrs. “Come to me, Raven. Be with me. I can give you so much.”

  “No,” I gasp again, pushing and fighting with all my might.

  “You will succumb to me. I can give you everything that you wish for. Everything will be at your fingertips.”

  I’m fighting so hard, but the pull is too great. “Leave me alone,” I scream.

  Suddenly, I shoot up in bed. Light is coming in through the curtains. It’s morning. Looking down, I see Avery asleep next to me. I plop back down on the pillows and let out a deep sigh. What is going on? It’s clear from the recurring nightmares that Lucifer wants me. What if I fall to the darkness? What if I can’t resist him? What if I lose my soul? My stomach turns at the thought.

  I lay there for a while, just staring at the ceiling. My thoughts and fears swirling in my head like a vortex. My breathing is heavy and I can’t calm down. Rolling over, I look at Avery, sleeping so peacefully. This is the only sense of real calm that he’s had in the last four days. Scooting over, I kiss him lightly on the cheek. His sleepy eyes open. “Hey,” he mumbles.

  “Hey,” I say. “We should get up.”

  He stretches and rubs his face. “I actually slept all right. What about you?”

  My eyes divert and I reply, “I slept okay.”

  Avery looks at me. “That doesn’t sound very convincing.”

  Sighing, I say, “I had nightmares again. It’s Lucifer. He’s calling out for me.” I frown and look away.

  “Come here,” Avery says, he grabs me into his arms and pulls me close to him. “Just remember the light.”

  “What if it’s not enough?” I ask.

  “You just have to remember that you are half-light. You have within you the ability to love. The ability to be compassionate. The ability to cast out the darkness.”

  I nuzzle up against him. “The darkness scares me.”

  He pulls me tight against him. “Remember what you feel. Remember me.”

  We lay there for a minute, in each other’s arms. Suddenly, I smell smoke. “What is that?” I ask, sitting up.

  “I don’t know,” Avery says, getting up with me. “Are they cooking something?”

  Pounding on the door makes us jump. “Raven! GET OUT OF HERE! The house is on FIRE!”

  Quickly, I grab Avery’s hand and run to the door. We open it to the strong smell of smoke. Wyatt is standing there. “What’s on fire?” I gasp.

  “The back of the house,” Wyatt exclaims. “Come on.” We race after him and run to the front door. Wyatt whips it open. I pull Avery with me and we fly down the steps.

  When I look up, my heart drops. Figures stand before me. My eyes scan around. Fallen angels, demons, and dark reapers surround us. “Oh no,” I exhale.

  Azrael comes from inside the crowd. “HELLO CUPCAKE!”

  I push Avery behind me, but the smell of smoke is getting stronger. The house is going to be engulfed with flames soon. My heart is beating hard and fast. This isn’t good. There’s so many of them. There’s only six of us. I don’t know what to do. “I’m going to kill you, Azrael,” I growl.

  He saunters forward and looking around at his entourage, says, “I doubt you will even be able to get to me.”

  Reaching for my seraph blade, I reply, “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

  “We want him,” Azrael purrs, pointing to Avery. “Surrender him to us and you will all be free. You won’t have to face the one true King.”

  Bile rises in my throat. Lucifer is the king Azrael speaks of. I don’t know what to do. Wyatt looks at me. “Any ideas?”

  “We need to escape,” I whisper.

  Azrael laughs. “We can hear you,” he teases. “Run if you want, but we will always find you. We will remove any obstacle in our path, human or otherwise.”

  “The archangels will intervene,” I seethe.

  Clapping his hands together, Azrael looks around. “They don’t seem to be here right now.”

  “Then we will kill you,” I snap. “Avery, the necklace, NOW!”

  He reaches up, grasps it, and disappears. Azrael screams. “Where is he!?”

  “Avery is not your concern,” I state. “You should be worried about me.”

  His eyes blaze to life and he growls, “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.

  I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Taking in a deep breath, I yell, “GO!”

  The other reapers and I run to the crowd. It’s quickly metal on metal as our swords clash. I immediately try to make my way to Azrael but first I have to get beyond the dark reaper in front of me. We fight. He thrusts forward with his sword but I block him. Then, I spin around and arch my hand down. The reapers head falls to the ground. I quickly step back and push my blade behind me. A scream pierces the air around us as I pull my sword back and spin around as a demon evaporates. Suddenly, I hear, Raven. Come to me. It’s a voice inside my head. A voice like honey that pulls my attention away from the fight. Raven, you know you want me. I can give you anything your heart desires.

  “No!” I scream. I pounce forward onto another demon.

  Yes, let the anger consume you. Let it seep into your soul. It’s warm. It’s passionate. It can lead you to great things.

  “Leave me alone!” I yell. Jutting my hand forward, I slay the demon in front of me. A reaper comes from behind. I spin around but am too late. The reaper’s sword cuts into my side. I cry out in pain. The darkness starts to crawl over me. Anger, pure rage. I attack the dark reaper and kill him.

  Good Raven. Kill them. Let the hate consume you. The voice pulls on me in ways I have never felt before. The darkness feels so enticing. It makes things stir inside of me. Yes, my child. Feel it. It holds so much promise. It can bring you things you’ve only dreamed of. Come to me.

  The battle is going on around me, but I can’t even concentrate. I stand there transfixed by the voice. It sings to me, like the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. It envelopes me. The light inside feels dimmer. A fallen comes and is about to attack but is suddenly frozen i
n place. Kill him, the voice says. Kill him. He’s going to kill you. Feel the anger. Feel the hatred. Use it. Wield it. Kill him.

  I glance at up the fallen. He looks scared. Something stirs inside, I can sense his fear. Shaking my head, I try to dismiss the thoughts. “Please, don’t,” the fallen angel whispers. “We need to be saved.”

  Fear starts to bubble up in my chest. I shake my head again and turn to run. I push through the crowd. I need distance. I need to get out of here. A dark reaper comes after me and I spin and cut off his head. Yes, just like that, the voice purrs.

  “No,” I gasp. I push through the crowd and make it to the porch of the house, which is nearly engulfed in an inferno of flames. I look around and see Wyatt on the ground. A level 10 demon is on top of Katerina. I don’t even see the others. “No, no, no,” I gasp, backing up.

  Then the fighting stops. Everyone freezes. Katerina is able to push the demon off and cut off its head. She quickly scrambles to her feet. That’s when I see a figure walk out of the crowd. It’s a man. One of the most beautiful men I have ever seen. His hair is black and his eyes are like ebony. “Hello, Raven,” he purrs.

  Suddenly, I feel something behind me. It’s Azrael. I scream. I swing around but I’m trapped as Azrael eyes blaze to life. “It’s time, Cupcake,” he whispers.

  I don’t have control of my body. My hand starts to fall. Turning around, I look at the handsome man. He stalks me like a predator watches its prey. “Lucifer,” I whisper.

  “Yes, child,” Lucifer replies. “Now, come to me.”

  “No,” I hiss. I fight it with everything I have in me.

  Lucifer starts to walk forward. “You can’t fight it Raven. Come to me.”

  My feet seem to have a mind of their own. Suddenly, I hear, “Raven, don’t!”

  We all turn toward the voice. Gale is standing there. “Don’t fall to the darkness! Harness your light.”

  Snarling, Lucifer points at Gale. A fallen pulls back an arrow on a bow and lets it go straight to Gale. “GALE!” I scream. The arrow sinks into a target...but it’s not Gale. It’s Avery. The end of the arrow protrudes from his stomach. “No!”

  Lucifer starts to laugh and everyone else joins in. I run to Avery. He’s lying on the ground, Gale is cradling him. “Avery, I’m so sorry,” Gale whispers.