Take Me To The Beach

by K. L. Grayson, Karina Halle, A. L. Jackson, Marni Mann, Monica Murphy, Devney Perry, Kristen Proby, Rachel Van Dyken

  When they left, the room fell into silence.

  Zane was dressed in a band T-shirt and ripped jeans. He picked up his Ray-Ban sunglasses, shoved the rest of his stuff into his bag, and then held out his hand. “Ready to go?”

  I nodded.

  Body numb.

  Because at least in the hospital, I still had him.

  I still had Zane Andrews.

  But I wasn’t stupid — there was nothing keeping him tied to me — nothing except for guilt on his part and love on mine.

  How could a relationship last on that?

  It couldn’t.

  Thankfully, Demetri had leaked information to the media that Zane was flying home the day before we left, so no crazed fans were waiting for us outside. Though I would have welcomed the distraction, because then at least, I wouldn’t feel as awkward as I did every time he tried.

  Tried and failed to be the man I loved.

  He tried to engage me in conversation the entire limo ride back to Seaside. We joked, we hung out — we were friends.

  No longer anything else.

  I tucked the memories of our nights together in my heart and swore I’d be thankful — after all, what were the odds it would have worked with a nearly blind girl and a rock star anyway?

  It was goodbye.

  It felt like goodbye more so now than when he’d gone into surgery.

  The closer we got to Seaside, the heavier my chest became, until it was hard to breathe, until I thought I was going to pass out.

  “Are you okay?” Zane gripped my hand. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

  I nodded, afraid that if I used words, I’d puke or maybe just sob all over him — that wouldn’t be fair, none of this was his fault.

  And yet, none of it was mine.

  It would be so much easier to blame someone.

  But we had nobody to blame, just an unfortunate situation that miraculously ended up being okay.

  Except for us.

  We didn’t make it through surgery that day.

  I choked back a sob as the limo turned down my street.

  What was I supposed to say?

  How could I say anything?

  Zane wrapped an arm around me — I couldn’t take it anymore and politely scooted away, giving him a lame smile.

  “Thanks,” I whispered. “For taking me home.”

  “That’s it?” His voice was low, quiet. “Thanks for taking me home?” He looked hurt.

  “Zane, don’t do this.” I pressed a palm over my mouth to keep from sobbing. Once I regained control, I tried again. “It’s—it’s fine, okay? I get it. I swear I do! And it’s not fair to you to have to pretend with me. I want it to be real. We both deserve real.”

  “It is real.” His eyes pleaded. “I just need more time.”

  “Your album is done.” The elephant just dropped. “You have nothing keeping you here anymore.”

  “I have you.”

  “You don’t know me!” I yelled. “And it’s not fair to beg you to stay! It’s not fair to either of us. I’ll resent you if you don’t feel the same way, and you’ll feel guilty if you never love me. We can’t live like that.”

  He cursed and punched the seat with his hand. “I care about you. I like you.”

  “I know.”

  He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. The truth hung in the air between us, the words he couldn’t say, the words I needed to hear.

  “Zane.” I put on a brave face. “Your album kicks ass, you’ve been given a second chance at life, and you’ve completely shocked your friends by going down to only one bag of marshmallows a day. Your grandma would be proud of you. I’m proud of you. But it’s time to go.”

  His eyes filled with tears as he placed his hands over mine. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Live your life.” I smiled sadly. “And if you ever remember me…” Words tumbled out of my mouth right along with my beating heart. “I’ll be home. Waiting.”

  “Home.”

  I placed his hand over my heart and repeated. “Home.”

  Too soon, I backed away.

  Too soon, the car door slammed.

  Too soon, my legs were taking me into my house.

  Too soon.

  Zane Andrews was gone.

  He’d entered my life like a bolt of lightning and left it like a hurricane, leaving me to pick up pieces I never knew had shattered in the first place, until it was too late.

  Zane Andrews had destroyed me — and he didn’t even remember doing it.

  Fallon

  My mom and dad weren’t really sure what to do, and since I’d always been a relatively happy kid as long as I didn’t have a ton of homework and didn’t have to eat my mom’s burned food — we were all in foreign territory.

  They ordered Chinese takeout.

  We ate at the table as we always did.

  Only this time, Zane wasn’t in his spot.

  The spot he’d occupied for the past few weeks, teasing me that even muses need to eat, but not my mom’s food.

  My parents showed him love because they knew I loved him. But I think they would have fallen in love with him if they would have had a chance to spend more than a handful of dinners with him.

  He and dad would have talked about guns and actually taken that hunting trip that Zane swore up and down he was still going to do even if he came back with holes through his skin.

  I wiped at a few fallen tears.

  He made my family feel like his friends too. He engaged in conversation because he was genuinely interested in others’ lives.

  And he genuinely wanted people to feel like they mattered.

  Tears welled in my eyes as I pushed around the sesame chicken with my fork going over all of the what-ifs.

  “Hey!” My mom clapped her hands together in excitement, and a fork clattered to the floor. “Why don’t we go get ice cream?”

  “Okay.” I swallowed my tears.

  She was trying. And I loved that she was trying.

  By the time we made it back to the house, it was dark and I was exhausted, I had to work for the next few days. I purposefully picked up extra shifts so I wouldn’t sulk at home or, God forbid, turn on Zane Andrews’ music and sob into my pillow wishing for something that was never going to happen.

  Like just another one of his fans.

  * * *

  * * *

  “You look really bad.” Mags elbowed me as we walked to the Seaside resort. “Like bad, bad. I mean, good call on wearing the contacts and at least trying to put on mascara, but maybe you should take a few days off?”

  I snorted. “He’s so famous he’s everywhere, his story is everywhere, Mags. The last thing I need is a day off. I need an escape plan.”

  She placed her hand on my arm. “But is that what you really want? An escape plan?”

  “What I want doesn’t matter,” I whispered. “At least not anymore.”

  “What if you just…” She threw her hands up in the air nearly taking out someone on their bike. “Tried?”

  “We did try.”

  “You kissed and played cards for a week straight, that’s not trying.”

  “It wasn’t the same, I’d catch him looking at me, like he was trying to figure me out. Do you even realize how that feels? Being a stranger to someone who used to be…” I shuddered. “Closer than anyone else you’ve ever been with? I mean, for all I know he’s wondering what his previous self ever saw in me.”

  “Stop that.” Mags pinched me. “You’re absolutely gorgeous, and if he doesn’t see how amazing your soul is right along with those giant blue eyes, then he’s an idiot.”

  I smiled. At least I had Mags.

  “So.” She popped her gum and stared up at the large resort building. “Five hours of hell, and then I say we binge watch something on Netflix.”

  “Bring popcorn.” I pulled off my sunglasses and numbly walked into the lobby. I refused to think about the last time I was there, but memories, the real
ones, the ones that were tied to things like smell.

  They stayed.

  So when the smell of the hallway hit me.

  I thought of his hands on my body.

  When the elevator dinged, and I went to grab the cart and punch in, I thought of his nervous laughter.

  When I finally managed to wheel my cart down the hall, thunder sounded outside reminding me of that night.

  Reminding me that we’d made love all night.

  I was in his arms.

  Goose bumps erupted across my body. I hugged myself and forced tears back — it seemed like that was all I was doing lately, pretending to be fine, pasting fake smiles on my face and rewarding myself when I didn’t cry.

  As luck would have it, about an hour into my shift, I was moved to the penthouse floor.

  I rode the same elevator to the top.

  And closed my eyes as the memory of his kiss burned into my brain.

  My cart got caught on the elevator door, with a curse I pushed it through and started the slow painful walk down the hallway.

  Luckily, I didn’t need to clean his room.

  Just five of them on the same floor.

  Room one took me an hour.

  Room two took me another hour.

  It was starting to get dark by the time I made it to a relatively clean room three.

  Room four was next door to his room.

  I think I stared at both doors for at least ten minutes before finally gaining enough courage to open the door nearest his.

  I knew he wasn’t there because the staff had been given strict instructions not to go inside until he was back.

  A door slamming caught my attention, around ten girls all dressed in short skirts laughed and made their way down the hall.

  One had a bachelorette crown on her head.

  “Hey!” One of them stumbled toward me. “Is it true that Zane Andrews lost his virginity on this floor?”

  “Yes.” I fired back defensively. “At least that’s a rumor, but you never know.” Why was I still talking?

  She frowned. “You look familiar.”

  “I’m one of the maids.” I ducked my head and grabbed a roll of toilet paper.

  “Hmm,” She tapped her chin. “I wish I was the one he gave it up to, lucky bitch.”

  “Yeah.” I sighed. “Lucky bitch.”

  She grinned and turned back to the group of girls just as the elevator doors opened.

  Strength zapped, I leaned against the cart and closed my eyes.

  Why did everything have to be so perfect?

  Only to fall apart.

  I promised I wouldn’t leave him if something happened, what we never factored in, was if he would ever leave me.

  And he did.

  He left.

  Oh, he’d texted.

  He’d tried calling.

  But it hurt too much. Everything hurt. And talking to him made it worse, it made me hope — hope was too cruel to play with. Better forget everything than hope that one day he’d look at me like he used to.

  I checked my watch. I needed to at least get to another room.

  I took a sip of water from my water bottle and screwed the top back on just as the elevator doors opened again.

  And Zane Andrews.

  My Zane was walking toward me.

  With the same unfamiliar look in his eyes.

  And lipstick on his face.

  His stupid song had it all wrong — hearts can break more than once — mine just had.

  Zane

  I was leaving in two days.

  I had two days left at Seaside.

  I didn’t want to leave — but what choice did I have? Everyone here had a life, and now that I was no longer running away from mine, it was stupid to stay.

  Right?

  The guys understood.

  But they weren’t happy about it.

  I’d completely forgotten that I had a hotel room in the Seaside Resort until Will called to remind me to go grab all of my shit before they sold it on eBay.

  I sent another text to Fallon as I made my way over to the resort.

  Still nothing.

  I missed her.

  It hurt.

  But the connection I knew I should have with her — wasn’t there, unless I was kissing her, talking to her. And she’d shut down. The person she was before surgery no longer existed because the person I’d been to her… was gone.

  I didn’t know how to get us back.

  I wanted to try, but I was afraid she was right, afraid she’d resent me if we never got back to the place we needed to be.

  Was that what I was doing? Leaving because I was afraid?

  The hotel loomed in the distance as waves crashed across the beach. A chill filled the air as rain started to pour from the sky. Great. Just fantastic.

  It was gloomy — it completely matched my mood.

  On the outside, life was perfect, I was going to start touring again, the album was my best yet.

  I’d semi-conquered death.

  And the anxiety was slowly dissipating along with the need to have a pocket full of marshmallows all hours of the day.

  But she was missing.

  The balance was off.

  And I hated it.

  I stomped into the resort and nearly bolted when a group of girls turned and started screaming all at once.

  “Shit,” I muttered pasting a smile on my face as they charged toward me cell phones raised.

  The all-familiar sense of panic washed over me.

  But I had no rescuer. No Fallon. No bodyguard.

  With shaking hands, I signed autographs, took selfies until my smile started to twitch, and finally, stumbled down the hall, palms sweaty, ever present headache still pounding.

  Another awesome side effect.

  Headaches, though the doctor said it should only last a few weeks.

  Focus, Zane. I went to the penthouse floor and slowly made my way down the hall, nearly colliding with one of the maid carts.

  Fallon let out a little squeak.

  And I froze, like time had suddenly stopped in that moment, leaving only the two of us in the universe. Damn, she was so pretty.

  Even in her black pants and black Seaside resort shirt.

  A piece of hair stuck to her face.

  She swallowed, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

  “Yeah well.” I licked my lips. “I was in stealth mode.”

  She smirked and pointed to my lipstick stained cheek. “I take it the bachelorette party downstairs discovered you?”

  “Warn a man next time.” I rubbed off the offensive pink lipstick and stared at her mouth.

  “Eh, I think I like that you suffered at the hands of the screamers.” She blushed and looked away.

  “Screamers, hmm?”

  “So…” She sighed and took a step back. “Do you need me to let you into your room?”

  “Holy shit, do you have a master key? Like Lord of the Rings?”

  “Just call me Gollum.” She offered a weak laugh and walked with me down the hall.

  Her hands were shaking as she grabbed a key card and tapped it against the sensor.

  She was trying to be normal.

  It wasn’t working.

  The door opened.

  “Are you okay?” I whispered, reaching for her hand.

  “No.” She looked up at me.

  “You’re not wearing glasses.”

  “Contacts from now on.” She cleared her throat. “I haven’t cleaned the room yet. The resort was under strict instructions not to disturb your creative process, so nobody has been in here for over ten days.”

  “Hmm,” I stepped into the penthouse and was hit with a burst of cold air as the curtains framing the floor-to-ceiling windows whipped wildly in the air.

  When I turned around, Fallon’s eyes were fixed on the other side of the room. The door was open, light illuminated from the moon casting a glow across the sheets.

  Her breath caught.

  Al
l of them hanging from the bed, draped across the floor.

  And a girl’s dress.

  A short dress.

  A pretty dress.

  Slowly, I took a few steps toward the bedroom, my brain buzzing like the universe was trying to tell me something.

  The lights above flickered and then everything went completely black.

  Everything but the white sheets.

  The white sheets and the windblown curtains.

  “I’m going to keep you.” Fallon had whispered as I rocked into her.

  “I’ve always wanted to be kept.” I fired back as our bodies joined over and over again.

  I stumbled backwards.

  “You’re beautiful,” I whispered.

  “Tell me everything.” She grabbed my hand. “Let me love you.”

  Broken.

  I broke.

  She broke me.

  And didn’t run away.

  She saw me at my worst.

  And held my hand.

  When I showed her my demons.

  She didn’t scream.

  She cried on my behalf.

  And when I needed someone the most — when I was searching for a home — she offered me her heart.

  I collapsed to my knees.

  “Zane!” Fallon screamed my name, footsteps sounded and then her arms were wrapped around me. “Is it your head? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

  Breath whooshed out of my tightened chest as I glanced up at her in wonder. “I love you.”

  “Wh-what?” Her eyes pleaded. “What did you say?”

  “I. Love. You.” I tugged her against my body and kissed her with every pent-up memory, every emotion, pouring into her not just my heart and soul, but the history of us, of what we shared, I gave her everything in that kiss.

  My apology.

  My life.

  My world.

  Her arms wrapped around me.

  “No time,” I growled tearing at her maid uniform, greedy to touch her. She’d been lost to me.

  Not anymore.

  Already I’d wasted ten days.

  Never again.

  “I love you.” I said it again and again as I jerked her shirt over her head. Her shoes went flying, I pulled away every inch of clothing.

  I didn’t ask to love her.

  I just did.

  I slammed into her, filling her, completing me, and stopped as time around us seemed to freeze right along with us.