“We need to find out what she knows,” Theo says.
“Maybe our princess should befriend her,” Caz suggests.
I shake my head. “That won’t work. She’s Tempest’s cousin, and Tempest hates my guts. Besides, it’s pretty much common knowledge I’m your girl. She’ll instantly smell a rat.”
“We need someone she won’t know,” Galen says.
“Emmett,” Saint supplies.
I tilt my face up to his. “No way. We do not involve him in any of this. And he won’t do shit for you after you threatened his sister.”
Saint smirks. “He’d jump off a cliff for you.”
“It’s too risky. Dar might remember him from a party we were at a while back. I won’t put Emmett in harm’s way.”
“We’re low on options,” Theo says.
“No, we’re not.” I drag my lower lip between my teeth as I think about it. “She’s important to The Bulls because she’s the connection between them and The Arrows and she had an in with The Sainthood, something she is probably reworking now she’s lost her puppet.” I stand, pacing as my mind works through it. “She’s not some inconsequential hoodrat. She successfully feeds intel among the different crews, and that is not something that can be easily replicated, so let’s make things harder for them.”
“I like where this is going,” Saint says. “What exactly do you have in mind?”
“Let’s kidnap the bitch’s ass and torture her until we get answers.”
Caz whistles under his breath, crossing one leg over his knee, as he lights up a joint. “Sign me up if you’re doing the torturing.” He grabs his crotch. “I’m already hard thinking about it.”
I hop up and grab the joint from Caz’s lips, stubbing it out. “I didn’t say quit cigarettes so you could smoke this shit every day.”
“Aw, c’mon, princess.” He sends me puppy dog eyes. “A man’s got to have some vices.”
I plonk myself on his lap, lacing my arms around his neck. “You’ve already got two. Beer and me.” I lean down, licking a path up the side of his neck. “Trust me, that’s more than enough for any guy to handle.”
“You might have to convince me.” Caz’s wicked gaze is seductive in the extreme.
“Deal.” I purposely rub my ass over the growing bulge in his jeans. “I’ll start convincing you later.” I press a kiss to the corner of his lips. “I’m claiming you in my bed tonight.”
“Hell yeah, baby.” He nuzzles his nose in my neck.
My eyes meet Galen’s troubled green ones, and we share a lingering stare before he breaks eye contact, looking at Theo. “What about the rat?” Galen asks. “Any progress with those background checks?”
“Not so far, and I’ve had no luck getting past the firewall at Sainthood HQ.”
“Meaning what?” I ask, swiveling on Caz’s lap to face Theo.
“I can’t infiltrate their security system or get into their cameras.”
“Maybe, I could do it whenever I’m summoned there,” I say.
“Your pretty ass is not stepping foot in that place,” Saint growls.
“I thought you attended monthly junior chapter meetings?”
“We do, but you won’t be there.” Saint runs his fingers over his cropped blond hair. “I don’t trust any of those bastards with you.”
“That won’t cut it, and you know it.”
“I don’t fucking care!” he roars. “He’s not getting his dirty hands on you.”
I get off Caz, walk over to Saint, and sink down on to his lap. I tip his face up. “Agreed. But we can’t be stupid. We need access to those cameras, to watch things and to check logs for any evidence of the rat. Me getting summoned to HQ might help, and I’ll figure out a way to avoid being gang-raped by Sinner and his buddies.” A shudder crawls its way up my spine.
“I don’t see how,” Theo says. “And that’s another problem to solve. But we haven’t exhausted all options yet. I bet Diesel could get us what we need.”
I nod slowly. “Yeah, with what we’ve learned, I’m sure he could. We’ll ask him on Sunday.”
“There is another option we haven’t considered in relation to Taylor,” Galen says, and we all direct our attention his way. “Eccleston. He hooked up with her before, so maybe Bryant reaches out, wanting round two?”
“I should’ve thought of that,” I murmur.
“I still don’t trust that guy,” Saint says, and the others nod. “But he’s supposedly on our side now.”
“Supposedly?” I inquire.
“I don’t trust it. It feels like there is more we don’t know,” Saint says, running his hand up and down my back.
“We’re due an update from him,” Galen reminds us.
Saint eyeballs his cousin. “Set up a meet. Let’s get him to do this, and if his dick doesn’t get us the answers we need, we try the princess’s suggestion and kidnap the bitch.”
After the convo ends, I head to my room and take a long, hot shower. When I emerge, followed by a trail of cloudy steam, Galen is sitting on the edge of my bed. “I knocked,” he blurts, averting his eyes as I tuck my towel in tighter under my arms.
“What’s up?” I ask, picking up my hairbrush and running it through my damp hair.
“I have something for you.” He holds out a rectangular black box.
I walk to the bed, holding his gaze as I sit down beside him, taking the offering. I unclip the small lock on the side of the box and pull the lid back to reveal the contents.
My heart pounds in my chest as I inspect the five small, silver daggers. Removing one from the silk bed it rests on, I examine the exquisite workmanship with a lump in my throat. The handle of each dagger contains an image of an avenging angel etched into the ornate metal.
“They’re beautiful,” I whisper, holding the dagger in the palm of my hand, testing its weight, as I lift my eyes to Galen’s.
Something close to relief flares in his eyes. “The minute I saw them I thought of you.”
My lips kick up. Most guys buy girls chocolate or flowers, but Galen knows me better than I realized. It’s a thoughtful gesture and the perfect icebreaker.
But if we’re truly going to get past this, I need to know he’s all in.
“I wonder how sharp they are,” I muse, keeping my eyes locked on his gorgeous green ones.
“Sharp enough to inflict pain,” he coolly replies.
I look down at the thin, raised scars covering both parts of my upper arms. “I still remember how much it hurt,” I admit. “I had this one recurring nightmare, the first couple years after the kidnapping, where my kidnappers broke into my bedroom and sliced open my wounds repeatedly.” I lift my eyes to his face. “Their faces were blacked out. All except Sinner’s, although I didn’t know who he was back then. His face haunted me in my sleep for so long.”
A heavy weight sits on my chest, compressing my air supply. “I used to wake up screaming,” I continue, “holding on to my arms because they throbbed like a bitch. It wasn’t imaginary pain because it felt so real.” I shoot him a sad smile. “The mind is such a powerful organ. So susceptible to suggestion.”
I lift the dagger, staring at Galen as I press the tip of the dagger against the topmost mark on my left arm, maintaining eye contact as I cut a line across the existing scar. Blood rushes to the surface immediately, pooling along my skin and trickling down my arm.
“Jesus. Fuck.” Galen drags his hands through his hair, staring at me wide-eyed.
“The hypnosis therapy I underwent helped me heal. The nightmares reduced in regularity until they disappeared completely. It took me a long time to realize it isn’t physical pain I’m scared of. It’s emotional.” I drill him with a determined look as blood flows down my arm. “I could cut through every one of these scars, opening old wounds, and it wouldn’t hurt me. Not the way you did when you handed me off to the enemy to kill.”
“Lo, I—”
I clamp my free hand over his mouth. “Don’t interrupt me.” His nostri
ls flare, and I smile as a glimpse of the real Galen peeks through. “If I’m to forgive you, it means exposing my heart, making myself vulnerable to you, and that’s a far scarier prospect. How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you’re worthy of that?” Taking his hand, I flip it palm up before placing the dagger coated with my blood on it. “Would you bleed for me, Galen?” I wrap his fingers around the knife. “Would you cut yourself open for me?” I lean into his face, pressing my lips to his ear. “Would you trust me to take that knife and slice into your skin?”
He takes my hand and places the bloody dagger in it. “Yes, I would bleed for you, Lo.” A muscle clenches in his jaw. “I would die for you.”
“Why?”
“Because you are the reason everything makes sense. You are the only truth amid all the secrets and lies. The glue that binds us together. The substance to our purpose.” He gulps, reaching up to cup my face with bloody fingertips. “You’re not the only one scared of emotional pain. Why do you think I went to such lengths to push you away? I’m not talking about what went down with Dar. I mean everything that came before that made me vulnerable to his manipulation. I’ve seen what you can do. I’ve known how that would change our dynamic, and it fucking terrified me.”
He rubs his thumb along my cheek. “I was a coward, and I took the coward’s way out.” He drops his hand from my face, wrapping my fingers around the handle of the dagger. “No one would blame you for retaliating, but I know you won’t do that because you are better than me. You confront your pain head-on while I bury mine deep in my blackened soul.”
“Oh, Galen.” I kiss his cheek. “Your soul isn’t black. It’s every shade of gray. And that’s something I understand.”
“I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m asking for one,” he says. “I was afraid you’d tear us apart, but I was wrong because you’re bringing us together in a way that is making us stronger. You’re the center of my brothers’ universe, and I want you to be the center of mine.” He clasps my cheeks in his palms, and his face radiates sincerity.
“Are you ready to give me your full truth? To commit to always being honest with me?”
“I am, Lo. I desperately want a second chance, and I’m asking for forgiveness if you can find it in your heart.” He glances at the dagger. “Does that answer your questions?”
“Take your hoodie off,” I instruct.
He stands, removing his hoodie and yanking his T-shirt up over his head, throwing both items of clothing on the floor. Bruises cover his ribs—a very real reminder of his shame and his pain.
I rise with blood pouring down my arm, dripping onto the carpet. I stand directly in front of him, looking up at his stunning face. He is shielding nothing now, and I have hope this will be all right. “I think you and I are the most alike, Galen. It’s one of the reasons we butt heads so much.”
It’s true even with the connection I share with the others.
Saint knows pain but he doesn’t bury it—he lashes out, and he vents in a physical way. Theo knows pain too, but he throws himself into his work to alleviate his feelings of failure. If Caz is in any pain, he does a fantastic job hiding it behind his legendary humor.
But Galen has succumbed to his pain, and it’s eating him alive in a way the pain used to eat me alive until I learned to control it.
They all need me, but in this moment, I acknowledge Galen needs me more.
I’m not sure I can be who he needs me to be, but I want to try, and that is a huge step forward.
As for forgiveness?
That remains to be seen.
“Ready to bleed for me now, Galen?” I brush my fingers along the upper side of his right arm.
He doesn’t flinch, just stares into my eyes, placing all his trust in me. “Yes. I’m ready to live for you, Lo.”
It’s beautifully poetic and the most perfect thing he could say to me in this moment. I press my lips to his cheek, lingering for a few beats, bathing in his presence. When I ease back, his eyes lock on mine, and we stare at one another, on the precipice of a new beginning.
He nods, and I clasp his arm more firmly, watching his reaction as I bring the dagger to his arm, breaking skin. I feel his intense gaze on me as I dip my head, concentrating while I drag my dagger across his arm, in a diagonal line, marking him in the exact same spot as my arm. Blood spills from the cut, flowing down his arm much like it did mine.
I dip my fingers in his blood, smudging my fingertips as I raise them to my mouth. I stare into his eyes as I place my fingers in my mouth, sucking his blood. His eyes darken, and the air charges around us. My eyes lower to his lips, and I’m tempted to dive in.
Tingles shoot up my arm when his fingers dip into my blood. Watching him bring them to his lips, licking my blood clean off his skin, is sexy as hell.
I smile, and for the first time in ages, it feels like I’m back where I should be.
With my family, my crew.
Like things are finally falling into place.
CHAPTER 23
Harlow
“WOW,” CAZ SAYS as we pull up to Ashley Shaw’s house late Friday night. “This is definitely how the other half live.”
Music blares from the open double doors and windows, and partygoers occupy every spare space of the upper-level balcony that extends along the front of the house and around to the side. Girls and guys from my old school are laughing, chatting, drinking, and dancing under the starless night sky as if they haven’t a care in the world, but I know better.
Everyone has shit to deal with.
Some are just better at hiding it than others.
Galen kills the engine on my Lexus, parking it to one side of the driveway behind a yellow Maserati.
I’ve requested we use my car as much as possible, because Dad and Diesel asked that of me and the safety features are second to none. The guys readily agreed without protest.
Their genuine concern for my safety pricks more holes in the wall around my heart, but I’ve accepted the inevitable—that I’m a lost cause when it comes to my Saints—and I’ve thrown caution to the wind.
The chips will fall where they fall, and there’s no backing out now.
“What kind of asswipe ruins a Maserati by ordering it in yellow?” Saint shakes his head in disgust when we climb out of the car.
“The kind of new-money asswipe you need to win over tonight,” I reply, looping my arm through his. “I suggest you keep such thoughts to yourself. These people will press all your buttons. Just let their shit go over your head.”
“Is that how you did it?” Galen asks, tucking the keys in the pocket of his jeans as we walk toward the front door.
“Pretty much,” I agree. “Also, my rep preceded me. I was ‘that girl,’ the one who’d been kidnapped and cut up, and most people at the academy kept a healthy distance from me.”
“People suck.” Theo threads his fingers through my free hand.
“I figured that out many years ago.” I shoot him an appreciative smile. His hair is smoothed back off his face and styled into a sexy man bun on top of his head. He’s wearing a Muse T-Shirt over faded, ripped skinny jeans with untied boots on his feet, and he looks good enough to eat. “You look hot as fuck.”
Caz snorts from behind, and I glance over my shoulder. “You look hot too.”
They all do tonight.
Caz is wearing a leather jacket over a tight black T-shirt with grayish-black jeans and biker boots. He’s got his eyebrow piercing and lip ring in, and his hair is an artfully messy mess.
Saint’s Supreme T-shirt is molded to his impressive abs, and he’s also wearing ripped jeans and boots.
Galen has a fitted black shirt on, rolled up to the sleeves, showcasing his muscular arms, and his ass looks delectable in tight black jeans. His hair is back in a faux hawk, the tips edged in green.
“I wasn’t fishing for compliments,” Caz says, winking at me. “You two are just too stinking cute for words.” He waves his hand at me and Theo.
> “Cute is not the word I’d use to describe our girl tonight.” Theo leans in, kissing my cheek. “You’re straight fire, babe.”
“I think we all scrub up good.” I smooth a hand down over my black glitter minidress. It’s a sleeveless, choker-style bodycon dress that leaves zero to the imagination. I’ve teamed it with skyscraper black stilettos that have spiky silver studs all over them. My hair is pulled back in a slick ponytail, and I went heavy on the makeup.
I used body paint to paint the bandage around the cut on my arm in black so now it looks like part of my outfit. Not that I’m ever embarrassed by any of my scars, but I don’t want to invite questions.
Saint, Caz, and Theo noticed the matching bandages on our arms, but none of them asked about it. At least, they didn’t ask me. Not sure if Saint interrogated Galen or decided to trust that I’m handling shit in my own way.
“Why else do you think I’m hanging back here?” Caz says, waggling his brows at Theo. “Your ass is smokin’ hot in that dress, babe,” he adds, flattening his palm over my butt. He moves his lips to my ear. “I want to slide between those cheeks before the night is over.”
“Play your cards right, and you just might,” I retort, leaning back to peck his lips.
“Lead the way, princess,” Saint says when we reach the front doors, and I untangle my limbs from my guys and push inside Ashley’s extravagant mansion.
I stride through the crowd lining the hallway, heading toward the kitchen at the back of the house, noticing the hush that settles over the space as we advance. My lips twitch as I catch all the lingering glances sent my guys’ way. I knew all the rich bitches would be lusting after them tonight. There’s nothing like the promise of a foul-mouthed, sexy-as-fuck bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks to send hearts racing and dampen panties.
Too bad for them I don’t share.
I reach my arm back, grabbing the nearest hand and tugging.
“Jealous, princess?” Saint whispers in my ear, wrapping his arm around me from behind as we continue walking.
“Don’t play dumb, babe.” I squeeze his hand. “There’s a difference between jealousy and possessiveness.” I angle my head so I’m meeting his eyes. “You’re mine, and those greedy bitches need to know it.”
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