"Well, things are what they are," Veronica continued. "Obviously, I'll need to tell the troupe that Kirk won't be returning. They don't need to know why."
Mason felt a wave of relief wash over him. Not that he expected her to broadcast the whole sorry episode to the troupe, but he was relieved that she definitely wasn't going to. Now, hopefully, he could relax and focus on dancing rather than on watching his back or putting on a blank expression so no one could see how deeply Kirk's jibes affected him. The only reason he hadn't completely crumbled was because of David.
"Thanks for dealing with this so swiftly."
Veronica shrugged. "His little stunt on Friday helped with that," she admitted. "Otherwise, things would have taken longer to resolve. But I'm glad it's over and done with. I really have no patience for bigots. You'd best go warm up."
Mason nodded his thanks and stood, grabbing his bag. As he left her office, he noticed David coming in through the double doors that led from the reception area. David raised his eyebrows, but neither of them approached the other. As much as Mason wanted to go to him and talk with him about Kirk and everything else, Mason knew he couldn't, not until after hours. So he turned away, striding towards the rehearsal room with his head held high.
Mason cooked for David that evening, and afterwards, they snuggled on the sofa. He still hadn't bought a TV for his flat, partly because he didn't spend a great deal of time there anymore, and partly because spending time with David felt like entertainment enough. He was never a big TV watcher as a kid, either. His family was too big for everyone to agree on watching one programme, so they'd taken it in turns to have a slot when they chose what was on. But more often than not, they'd end up talking, joking, or playing board games rather than watching TV.
"How was today?" David asked.
"Good. Even Kirk's mates kept away."
David chuckled. "Probably scared of getting chucked out. I'm glad they didn't hassle you over him losing his job, though."
"Yeah, me too."
The worry of reprisals had been in the back of his mind all day, but they hadn't come. That didn't mean they wouldn't when things had calmed down a little, but at least for one day, he'd been able to concentrate on nothing but dancing.
Mason shifted so he was half-lying over David, his back resting against his lover's chest. He stroked his hand back and forth over David's thigh.
"Are you okay?" David asked.
"Yeah, just thinking."
"About?" David kissed Mason's jaw. "Anything I can help with?"
Mason breathed in slowly. "Yeah… I want to ask you about something."
"You make those words sound so ominous." David chuckled.
"I don't mean to."
"I know. I'm teasing."
Mason knew that, but he found it hard to take a joke well when he was tense. He cleared his throat. "You… umm… you like spanking."
"Yes," David replied in a gravelly voice. "But that's not a question."
"Why?"
Mason held his breath and bit his lip as he waited for David to respond.
"Well… there's the power play element, obviously," David said thoughtfully. "It's amazing to have my sub consent to being spanked. It's also wonderful to know they're enjoying it. And I love touching arse. Spanking one is even better than caressing one; it gives me a thrill." He kissed his way down Mason's jaw and neck before speaking again. "It makes a wonderful sound." Another trail of kisses, this time back up towards Mason's lips. "It turns me on."
Apparently, talking about spanking turned David on, too, if the way his cock was hardening beneath Mason was anything to go by.
"Position can have a lot to do with it, too," David said.
"Position?" Mason asked.
"Well… it's sexy as hell to have my sub on all fours so I can spank their arse. But it's even more fun if I put them over my lap." He paused to lick his lips, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Like that, I've got either cock or pussy rubbing against my thigh. It's as much a turn-on for them as it is for me. Why the sudden interest in spanking?"
"I want to understand why you like it."
David rested his cheek against Mason's head. "I think what you really want to know is what a sub gets out of it."
Mason smiled. "How do you always know what I really want to ask?"
David laughed. "Because I know you." He stroked Mason's shoulder, making circles with his fingertip. "Tell me why the thought of being spanked makes you nervous."
Mason hesitated. It wasn't that he didn't think he could talk to David about anything, more that he was embarrassed. Sometimes the vast difference in their sexual experiences bothered him.
"Talk to me," David said as he manoeuvred Mason onto his back so he could lie on top of him. He propped himself up on his elbows and stared down into Mason's eyes. "I want to know."
"The pain," Mason admitted, wincing at the thought. "And I guess I'm worried it would be really humiliating. I mean… more so than anything else we've already done."
He felt his cheeks heating up and caught a glimpse of his reflection in David's glasses. His skin was lighting up like the embers of a bonfire, which only made him feel more embarrassed. He dipped his gaze, unable to meet David's any longer.
David's lips pressed against his forehead in a gentle kiss. "Don't be self-conscious about how you feel. Being confused, concerned, or nervous about being spanked is completely natural. So is being afraid."
Mason shook his head. "I'm not—" But maybe he was a little bit afraid. "I'm scared it'll be demeaning," he admitted.
"Does anything we do now make you feel that way?" David asked. He tipped his head a fraction. "I remember after our first session, you told me you felt a little humiliated. Do you still feel that way?"
"Sometimes," Mason whispered. "A little. Not when you tie me up or blindfold me. That's sexy as hell. It really turns me on. But some of the other stuff, like the clothes peg thing—that's kind of humiliating and painful, but it's really brief." He inhaled. "But I do enjoy it, all the same. I know it's part of the power play. I know that being utterly powerless and submissive is part of what turns us both on. Rationally, being spanked shouldn't be any different from that, but I just…" He forced himself to stop, breathe, and meet David's gaze again before he continued. "I'm sorry. I'm rambling. I suppose I just don't understand what anyone gets out of being spanked."
David smiled down at him. "I think you probably need to talk to someone who enjoys being spanked."
"I'm talking to you."
"Don't get me wrong; I love that you feel you can talk to me about anything," David said. "But, like I said before, I haven't been a sub in a long time."
"But you've been spanked?" Mason pressed. "You said you wouldn't do anything to me that you hadn't experienced yourself."
"I've been spanked and flogged, but it didn't do much for me. On the other hand, most of my subs enjoyed it."
"But not all?"
David shook his head. "No, but it would be a boring world if we all enjoyed the same things, wouldn't it?" He brushed Mason's hair back from his forehead, staring at him with soft eyes. "I'm really not sure my experiences will be of any use to you, but I can tell you about them if you want."
Mason thought about David's offer. His lover was probably right: David's own experiences would only serve to make him more nervous, not less. But that didn't mean David couldn't help to set his mind at rest.
"I know how important communication and aftercare is to you. If any of your previous subs had really hated it or really loved it, you'd have made sure they told you why."
The right-hand side of David's mouth curled into a warm smile. "I've been told it's erotic. Stimulating the nerves in your arse also stimulates the nerves in your cock, so it gives a heightened sense of arousal. I had one sub who loved it because it was all about relinquishing control. She enjoyed being able to let go completely." His eyes gleamed. "In the same way you gave all control to me when you let me tie you up in the Kinbaku style."<
br />
Mason had loved that. Watching David tie the knots and the pattern taking shape had been completely relaxing, like some form of sensual meditation.
"I remember," he said softly. "But there was no pain involved." Except the slight stiffness in his limbs from not being able to move.
David shrugged. "I can only tell you what she told me. She said she only ever felt truly free from the pressures of her job when she was lying over my lap and I was giving her a good spanking." He tilted his chin down. "If talking about my past partners is making you feel uncomfortable, tell me."
"It's not."
Mason had never been the jealous type. Besides, the key word was 'past'. The subs David was talking about were people he was no longer with, for whatever reason.
"Some people enjoy pain," David said. "As much as you're worried about being spanked, you've tolerated a little pain, and it's turned you on. And, like with anything, there are different degrees of pain involved with spanking, depending on what tools are used."
Mason pressed his lips together and swallowed hard.
"It's something else we need to talk about. Would you be happy with a hand or a fur-covered paddle, but not a ruler or a riding crop?"
Mason winced, which prompted David to laugh.
"This is why setting clearly defined limits is really important," David said softly before kissing Mason on the lips. "Giving me permission to spank you doesn't automatically give me permission to use anything other than my hand. If it's something you want to try one day, I'm not going betray the trust you'll be placing in me. I promise."
"I know you won't." Mason stared up into David's dark eyes. He trusted his lover implicitly. "And the humiliation aspect?"
David shrugged. "You were humiliated when I made you kneel and fucked your mouth."
"Yes, a little."
"But you didn't want to stop, did you?"
Mason shook his head.
"You didn't use our safe word when I clamped pegs on your nipples or thighs and then tore them off."
"No, but…"
"And none of that turned you off being my sub, did it?"
Mason sighed. "No."
"And I have punished you in our play sessions," David reminded him. "Aside from the small amount of pain you've already endured and enjoyed, you've also been forced to beg and been denied orgasm."
"It was erotic," Mason blurted out. "I knew it was a fantasy. A game. I know you aren't really like that. I know how much you care for me and respect me."
"So, why is spanking any different?"
Mason shrugged. It was hard to explain or make sense of. He liked submitting to David. He liked being ordered around and told what to do. He liked being cheeky and then being punished. But he couldn't put into words why. It was completely different from the ways in which Kirk had humiliated him. Maybe because he hadn't been in control then. He hadn't wanted Kirk to say the things he had. But he wanted David to dominate him. He wanted to give in and surrender completely to him. Because he loved him, because he trusted him, and because it turned him on.
But would allowing David to spank him be a step too far? He hoped that by trying to understand why David enjoyed it, he would feel less worried and uncertain about the concept because he wanted to give David something he longed for. The problem was, he wasn't sure he could.
"It's okay," David said. "I'm sorry for pressing you. Your thoughts and feelings don't have to make sense to me. As your Dom, I need to respect you and your limits. I'm glad you are willing to even bring the subject up. And remember, just because we talk about it doesn't mean I'll assume you want to do it."
Mason relaxed back against the sofa. He lifted his hand so he could trail his fingertips across David's jaw and feel the coarse texture of David's beard against his skin. "That's what we do, isn't it?" he asked. "We talk."
"We do," David agreed. "It's what makes us so strong."
"I can't imagine not being with you," Mason said.
Hit bit his lower lip as tension fluttered in the pit of his stomach.
"Neither can I," David said.
Mason almost laughed as the fluttering in his stomach subsided. He felt giddy with relief. "I know that might change. I know you're never going to promise me forever—"
David silenced him with a kiss. "I can promise you right now. Is that enough?"
Mason nodded.
"Do you know what else we do well together?" David asked.
The low, husky tone of David's voice turned Mason on. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak for fear his voice would come out as a strained squeak.
David kissed and sucked Mason's neck, rubbing himself against him at the same time, making them both hard. "We play well together," he whispered. "Can we play?"
"I'd like that," Mason whispered. "I'd like that a lot."
Chapter Thirty-One
David
David always got anxious on opening night, even though there was nothing more he could do. Either the audience would love the complete package of the ballet—his choreography, the dancing, costumes, set, lighting, and music—or they wouldn't. He had confidence in the production. He'd poured his heart and soul into it for months, and he knew the dancers had too. It was an emotive, exciting, and entertaining piece of ballet, and he was confident that the dancers would bring enthusiasm and energy to their roles. But his heart was still beating ten to the dozen, and his skin felt clammy too.
He was sitting in his car, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as he waited for Mason to get a parking ticket. They'd started driving to the studio together once they were sure everything had died down after Kirk's dismissal. David still found enjoyment in that and the other small daily gestures that reminded him he was in a happy relationship, one he was committed to. One that was starting to feel a lot stronger and longer-lasting than ‘right now’. Not that he dared make any promises beyond that, but he did want to take things another step further.
"Relax," Mason said as he returned with the ticket. "You're not the one who's going to be up onstage."
"Doesn't stop me being nervous."
Mason laughed. "I've never seen you like this. It's cute."
"Cute?" David snorted. "I can't remember the last time someone described me as 'cute'."
His comment made Mason laugh even harder, his bright blue eyes sparkling. God, David loved Mason's eyes.
"Sit down?" he asked.
Mason blinked at him and gestured towards the theatre. "I need to get inside to warm up."
"Just for a few minutes. I need to talk to you."
Mason frowned but did as he'd been asked. "Sounds serious."
David reached for Mason's hand and cradled it in his own. "I just want to wish you luck."
Mason's frown deepened. "You could have done that out of the car."
"I want to kiss you." David leaned over the handbrake so he could press his lips to Mason's and claim his lover's mouth with his own.
When Mason's lips parted to allow David's tongue access to his mouth, David wrapped his arms around his lover and pulled him close. Mason reciprocated, and they held each other for several minutes, embracing and kissing. When they finally parted, Mason's lips were glistening with David's saliva and were slightly swollen. His pupils were wide. David guessed Mason had a similar effect on him.
"I love you."
Mason grinned at him. "I love you too."
"Will you move in with me?"
It was a question he'd wanted to ask Mason again for a long time, but he'd been holding it back for the right moment. This felt like the right moment, while his heart was aching with love for his sub, while he was less than an hour away from watching Mason dance Puck on stage in front of a sold-out audience, while he was realising that he wanted to be with Mason for a long, long time.
Mason smiled softly. "I was wondering when you'd ask again."
"Will you?"
Mason pursed his lips, but there was a cheekiness in his eyes that indicated he was only pretending
to think carefully about his answer.
"Yes," he said after a suitably excruciating length of time had passed.
David's chest swelled, and it felt like his heart was thumping even faster and louder in his chest. He grabbed Mason's T-shirt to pull him close for another bruising kiss, aching for his lover's touch.
"We should probably stop," Mason breathed as their lips parted. "There are laws against fooling around in public car parks."
David pouted. "But we'll both be too busy later for me to kiss you again. Or more," he added with a purposefully suggestive wink. "On the other hand, I doubt anyone would notice if I didn't show up to the after-show party, right?"
Mason laughed. "I think you'd be missed. Plus, all my family are here, so we're both going to have to wait. One more kiss?"
How could David refuse? Mason leaned against him, and they kissed slowly, each nip of teeth and clash of tongues turning David on even more. If he didn't let Mason go soon, he wouldn't be able to, opening night be damned.
"I'm going," Mason said, pulling away a fraction.
"Must you?"
"Yes." Mason sighed contentedly. "I don't care who else is in the audience tonight, David. I'll only be dancing for you." He caressed David's cheek, sending little jolts of electricity zinging across David's skin.
"I'll only be watching you," David whispered. He'd be seeing the ballet enough times to pay attention to all the other dancers. Tonight, all he wanted to do was watch the beautiful, raw passion of his lover as he danced. "You'd better go."
Mason gave him one last kiss before opening his door and getting out of the car. Then he leaned down to grin at David. "I'll be dancing for you," Mason reminded him. "Only you."
David stood in the wings, captivated by the performance unfolding on the stage. The live orchestral music thrummed through his body. His fingers tapped against his thigh, counting the beats. The opening of the ballet had already conjured a range of emotions in the audience, from anger at Egeus' treatment of his daughter to hope that Hermia and Lysander would find a way to be together. They'd replaced Kirk with one of the unranked dancers, who was likely to be promoted to junior soloist as a result of his emotional and thoughtful performance of the role. Next, the comic treatment of the mechanicals’ scene had left the audience in fits of laughter.
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