Killian

by Sabrina Paige

  She laughed and smacked my hand away. "You're incorrigible."

  "Big word. Don't know what it means," I lied, grinning. "If it means hard, then yeah, I am." I held her palm against my cock.

  Her hand traveled down the length of my cock, cupped my balls. "You're not disappointed we didn't have sex?"

  "Fuck yeah, I'm disappointed," I said. "I'm going to the store first thing tomorrow and buying the largest fucking size box of condoms they have. Fuck it. I'm going to buy everything they have in stock. Then I'm coming here, and I'm going to stick my cock in you so many times you're not going to be able to walk for a week."

  River laughed. "Is that a promise?"

  I kissed her slowly, catching her lower lip in between my teeth and gently pulling on it as I slipped a finger inside her. Then I let her lip go. "That's a fucking promise."

  She was quiet for a minute, her focus entirely consumed by what my hand was doing between her legs and by what she was doing with my cock. "Wait. So you watched my movies this afternoon or what?" she asked, her voice dropping in volume and becoming breathier as I fingered her.

  "I looked you up on the internet on my phone after I left here," I admitted. She paused, mid-stroke.

  "And?" she asked. "Did you find out all my secrets?" Her tone was light, but the way that she looked at me wasn't.

  "Nah," I said. "Secrets should be left alone, don't you think? I just wanted to see what movies you were in so I didn't feel like such an idiot for not knowing who you were."

  She looked at me for a long moment, and then leaned close to me, kissing me on the lips. It was soft, tender this time. "You're a good man, Elias," she said.

  I didn't answer her, didn't explain to her that I was one of the Saint brothers, that in the eyes of the residents of West Bend we were definitely not good men. I knew what it was like to have secrets you didn't want to reveal.

  I just let her keep doing what she was doing with her hand on my cock, while I brought her to orgasm again. Afterward, she slid down my body, took me in her mouth, her hands on my thighs.

  Later, she lay with her head on my chest and I stroked her hair absently, looking at one of the pictures on the wall, this black and white photograph of the mountains outside of town, an area I recognized from years ago. I could hear her breathe, slow and deep, but every so often I felt her eyelashes brush against my skin, so I knew she wasn't sleeping. All the same, she was quiet, and seemed content enough just lying here.

  I felt content enough too, which was a weird fucking feeling for me.

  "I haven't done anything like this since- oh hell, I can't remember how long it's been," River said, finally breaking the silence

  "Like what?" I asked, half-listening.

  "Fooling around like this but not having sex."

  I ran my hand up and down the middle of her back. "So?" I asked. "How is it, not having sex?"

  She chuckled. "Pretty good," she said. "Of course, I've been going without for a while now."

  "What do you mean?" I asked. "You had a fiancé." I didn't want to fucking talk about her fiancé, and I found myself being the one to bring him up. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, probing into River's past.

  "Yeah," she said. "We hadn't exactly been having sex. Not for a while."

  "Oh," I said. I didn't know why the fuck I felt so pleased to hear her say that. It's not like her sex life was any of my business. I just didn't like the idea of some other guy touching her. I felt strangely territorial about her. It wasn't like me. "Me either."

  "You either what?"

  I exhaled loudly. "Sex. I haven't had sex either - not in a long time," I said, intending to leave it at that. But my fucking mouth just kept talking, as if of its own accord. "Not since the explosion."

  I didn't know what the fuck my problem was - I wasn't self-conscious about the prosthetic when it came to anything else. Everything else in my routine was back to normal.

  Except when it came to women. I hadn't let anyone get that close to me.

  I didn't feel like trying to explain that bullshit to her. I didn't think I understood it myself.

  River didn't move, but I felt her palm, warm on my chest. "I'm glad it's you, you know," she said.

  I didn't ask what she meant, just pulled her tighter against me and closed my eyes.

  18

  River

  The early morning sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating everything inside in its cool glow. I ran my fingers lightly across Elias' chest, watching it rise and fall as he breathed in deeply, dead to the world. I glanced over at the clock on the desk - seven in the morning. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been awake this early when I hadn't pulled an all-nighter partying or touring with Viper's band a couple years ago.

  I slipped out of bed and padded quietly across the floor to the bathroom, trying to be as silent as I could when I ran the water to brush my teeth. When I came out, Elias was awake. "Sorry," I said, suddenly feeling self-conscious, standing there naked in front of him. "I tried to be quiet. I didn't mean to wake you."

  "It's all right," he said. "I usually don't sleep this much at all, actually." I watched him slip on his leg and stand up, hearing it click into place. He walked by me to the bathroom, his cock hard, and slapped me lightly on the ass as he passed me. "But seeing you naked is waking me up now."

  When he came out of the bathroom, he took off his prosthetic again and laid down beside me on the bed, pulling my head against his chest. He didn't say anything, but I could hear his heart beating, rapid, underneath my ear.

  "How did you lose it?" I asked.

  "IED - Improvised Explosive Device," he said. "I'm - I was - EOD." He paused, looked at me before explaining. "Explosive ordnance disposal. We clear bombs. Cleared, I mean. I used to clear bombs. Obviously, I cleared one with my leg. That's not how you're supposed to do it." He laughed, then cleared his throat. "Sorry. Gallows humor."

  I rolled over onto my side, rested my hand lightly against his chest. "Where were you deployed?"

  "Afghanistan," he said.

  "You're not in the EOD anymore?" I asked. For someone who wasn't in the military, he sure had a military look about him. I'd thought that when I first saw him, with the buzzed haircut and the tattoos and his general demeanor.

  He shook his head. "Medically retired," he said. His words had a tinge of disgust.

  "You don't want to be retired?" I asked.

  "Hell no," he said. "I could do my job just fine with the leg. I wanted to deploy again."

  "So what happened?"

  Elias rolled his eyes. "Retired because of PTSD, which is bullshit," he said.

  "Because you don't have it?"

  "Hell no, I don't," he said. "That’s just what they called it. Got medically retired instead of getting administratively discharged for a repeated pattern of insubordination.” He emphasized the last phrase and rolled his eyes, but continued talking. “I was on limited duty because of my leg. Couldn’t fucking deal with all the bullshit paper pushers I got assigned to. Fucking caused more problems than when I was in EOD. Ended up getting into it with my lieutenant, this douchebag who’d never deployed, gone outside the wire ever.”

  “Outside the wire?”

  “So you've got a base or a camp when you’re deployed, right?” he asked. “The perimeter is the wire. Fobbits like him, they stay inside the wire during deployment. Don’t fucking understand how the real world operates.”

  “You got kicked out because you got into it with your lieutenant?” I asked. “That seems like a pretty harsh response.”

  Elias shrugged. “I guess it was a little more than just getting into it. I punched him in the face. Went to captain’s mast for it.” He must have seen the confused look on my face, because he elaborated. “That’s when you have to go up to see the old man - the commanding officer- he decides your punishment, knocks you down in rank and that kind of shit.”

  “So he kicked you out,” I said.

  Elias shook his head. “
No,” he said. “That has to go through a legal process. He knocked me down in rank and I had to forfeit my pay, but I wasn’t charged with assault. I should have been, but they cut me some slack or whatever. Captain said he thought I needed to see a shrink or something.”

  “Did it help?” I asked.

  "I’m not broken,” he said. “Just cause I lost my leg doesn’t mean I can’t take care of my own shit.”

  "Obviously," I said. It came out more sarcastic sounding than I intended.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I shrugged. “Nothing," I said. "You just seem like the kind of guy who doesn't rely on anyone."

  He narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything. I deliberately left out what I was going to say, which was that anger management didn't seem like the worst idea in the world for someone who got so easily irritated.

  "It's not really my thing, relying on people," he said.

  "No kidding."

  He was quiet for a while, but I could see the gears turning in his head. "I do get irritable," he said. "In the parking lot of the store, I didn't mean to jump your shit for looking at my leg."

  "No worries," I said. "I figure it's a sore spot."

  "It's not, though," he said. "Not really. Doesn't bother me, I mean. I'm luckier than a lot of other guys. It's just a leg, anyway. I'm fucking bionic and shit now."

  I trailed my hand down his trim abdomen, then lower, watching his cock respond to my touch. "You might as well be bionic here, too," I said, my attempt to lighten the mood.

  He grinned, making the sides of his blue eyes crinkle. I didn't know what exactly he was carrying with him, but it looked like the weight of the world on his shoulders- until he smiled. Then it was like everything melted away.

  "You want me to show you bionic?" he asked, his voice low. I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock, felt it harden at my touch.

  "Is that a promise?" I asked. I ran my hand lightly up his cock and down again, rubbed my thumb over the bead of pre-cum already glistening on the head.

  "Come here and I'll show you," he said. He pulled me against him, his hardness pressing against me, and kissed me. When he slipped his hand between my legs, it made me gasp. "I guess you like bionic."

  "Just a little," I said. I was starting to think I liked it a lot more than a little.

  Afterward, his fingers traced their way lazily down my arm. "I was thinking you probably needed help with getting a rental car this morning," he said. "Right?"

  "That would be nice," I said, clearing my throat. "If you wanted to. There's also probably a store open now."

  "Fuck, yeah," he said. "I made you a promise last night."

  I felt my face flush warm at the thought of what I wanted him to do to me.

  "You know how long you're staying?"

  "I haven't thought about it," I said. That much was true. None of this had been planned. I had no idea what I was doing here, in West Bend or with him. The entire thing was insane. It was insane to even think about staying here for a few days. I should go back to my life. I needed to go back to my life. Running from a film set was crazy. It wasn't something you did. I couldn't imagine the shitstorm that was going to happen.

  I felt his hand over my chest. "Your heart is racing," he said, his voice soft. "And you're all tense."

  "I don't know what I'm going to do," I said. "How long I'll stay." That's not true. I knew I couldn't stay long.

  "And that's why you're tense?"

  "No," I admitted. "It's the thought of what is waiting for me when I go back- the questions, the decisions I need to make..."

  "About Viper," he said.

  "About everything." I already knew what I wanted to do about Viper. That wasn't even a decision. I wanted him gone, out of my life completely. It was everything else I didn't know how to handle - my family, my career- those were the big questions. Those were the things I couldn't explain- didn't want to explain to a stranger. How could I explain how fucked up it was, the fact that my mother was who she was, that I kept supporting her after everything she'd done to me, that she still did to me? It was this weird, dysfunctional thing, my relationship with my family.

  It was embarrassing.

  I couldn't explain it to an outsider.

  He didn't ask me to elaborate. "Are you starving?" he asked. "I'm hungry."

  I was grateful he changed the subject. "Absolutely."

  "You sure you want to eat outside?" June asked. "I only have this small table out here, so you'll have to do some balancing with your plates, especially on these rocking chairs."

  "I think we're okay," I said. "It's so beautiful out here. I don't get the chance to do this kind of thing very often." Sitting outside on the front porch like this, enjoying the crisp Colorado air, away from smog-infested Los Angeles, made me almost feel like a regular person. June's border collie, Bailey, curled up a few feet away, basking in the sunlight.

  June looked back and forth from Elias to me. "I hope you had a good night's sleep," she said, as she bent down to set a basket of muffins and a bowl of fruit on the small table between our chairs. When she stood up, her expression looked innocent, but her eyes twinkled.

  "Great night's sleep," Elias said. "Best night of sleep I've ever had, actually."

  Cade walked across the meadow between the houses, Stan perched on his hip. He set him down, and Stan toddled around the front porch, exploring. "Hey, babe." Cade kissed June on the cheek. "Good morning."

  "He's so cute," I said, as Stan put his little arms around Bailey and Bailey sighed.

  "Cute and a handful," Cade said. "Since he started walking, he's on the move all the time. Came by to see if you needed anything in town, babe."

  "I'll go inside and get my list for you," June said. "Keep an eye on Stan for a minute?"

  "Did you need that rental?" Cade turned toward me.

  "I'll take her into town to get it." Elias spoke quickly. "If you want, I mean."

  I nodded. "That would be nice."

  June walked out, and slid her arms around Cade. He took the paper from her hand. "I won't be home until lunch," he said. "I've got a piece I'm working on for Randall Edwards, and then I'll grab the stuff you need from the store."

  June shook her head. "I don't like that guy," she said. "He's not good for this town."

  Cade shrugged. "Can't choose your customers," he said. He kissed her on the cheek, and then walked over to little Stan, kissing him on the forehead. "See you later, buddy."

  June's expression was dark, as she watched Cade walked back to the house and get on his motorcycle.

  Elias had a funny look on his face. "Trouble in West Bend?" he asked.

  June didn't look at him when she answered. She shook her head. "Just small town politics," she said. "It would probably seem silly to you, being from the big city and all. Cade is doing a custom job for this guy, works with this company, wants to set up shop in West Bend."

  "Doesn't sound like you think that's a good idea," Elias said. I wondered why he was interested in small town politics in a town he didn't seem to want to even be in again. But I guess he was probably still tied to his hometown. I didn't have the same interest in mine. My hometown could burn, for all I cared.