Winter Winds of Wyoming

by Fyffe, Caroline

  She didn’t know how to respond, so she just kept quiet. Fixing what once was and what might have been wasn’t possible. All the flowery words in the world had no power to repair what she’d become. Before Tommy had broken her heart, she’d been a different person, happier despite her troubles, agreeable, if not lonely. Afterward, she’d let the hurt eat her alive.

  “Beth?”

  She looked up. Hearing her name on his lips brought a shudder of pleasure.

  “Won’t you say anything?”

  “What can I say?” she whispered, after glancing at Dalton and Adaline watching the flames. “You want my forgiveness? I don’t think that’s mine to give.”

  He swiped a large hand over his face and then looked at her. “Then tell me about your life. What happened after I left Valley Springs?”

  His gaze burned a hole into her soul. “You never wrote one letter to your mother … or to me. I’m not sure I should tell you anything.”

  “You have every reason to be angry, hell, to hate me. I just thought…”

  “You thought wrong.” A hurt she’d believed gone, buried deep in the most unattainable part of her heart, stirred to life. If she didn’t say something, all the words inside her throat might strangle her. “Like you thought wrong when you ran out on me, saying I’d have a better life without you. Yes, you were wrong then, and you’re wrong now thinking you can waltz back here fifteen years later and pretend nothing has changed. You’re a fool, Tommy Hollyhock. I wish I’d recognized that truth years ago, before I spent my life dreaming about you.” Her gaze narrowed. “Where have you been? What have you been doing?”

  “You have a right to know. I told my ma, but I don’t know how much she’ll remember. I got most of the telling out first thing. I wandered, mostly. Never put down roots. Never married or had any children. Went from town to town, job to job, foolishly wasting away my life doing nothing at all.”

  “Being married to me was worse than wasting your life? How calmly you sit across the table and say that. Drifting was better than marrying me or being with the people who loved you? That’s a fine statement!” How dare he pin his horrible actions on her, saying he wanted better for her? If he’d wanted out of their betrothal, he should have just said so. Told her face-to-face, not write a brief note and sneak away into the night. What a coward!

  “That wasn’t the way at all, Beth, and you know it! No matter how much sense I tried to talk into you, you weren’t listening. You set your sights on me. You talked your way around all my concerns. When you couldn’t sway me, you up and told everyone in the churchyard I’d asked for your hand. What was I supposed to do? Call you a liar?”

  My shame. I was desperate, so frightened you’d marry someone else. “I was tired of waiting, Tommy. I knew your sense of honor wouldn’t allow for our happiness. So I took matters into my own hands.”

  “I was a forty-six-year-old man, and you only nineteen! As the weddin’ day approached, I just couldn’t live up to my part.”

  She pointed in his face. “You loved me!”

  “Maybe I did.”

  “No maybe about it! You did. You never told me in so many words, but in secret glances, a touch of your hand, and the sentimental stories you used to tell. You loved me for a long time—probably for as long as I had loved you. We could have had a good life. But you were weak. Too fearful to stand up for what you wanted! Too fearful of what people might say.” The cuckoo clock behind her on the wall sounded. In the dim light, the bleakness of his expression almost made her soften.

  “You always were smart, Beth. When I was with you, sitting on your porch drinking tea, or you having Sunday supper over at the store, yes, you’re right, everything felt perfect,” Tommy admitted. “But when I laid my head on the pillow each night, sleep wouldn’t come. I was robbing the cradle in the worst way. You deserved better. Someone younger, a man who could give you the life you wanted. A man who wouldn’t up and die of old age when your children were still cutting their teeth. I wasn’t him. Look at me.” He held both hands wide and stuck out his chest. “I’m an old man! Sixty-one years, to be exact. Look at you, still as beautiful as the day you turned sixteen.”

  Filled with indignation, Beth slammed a hand on the table, rattling the coffee cups and the few serving pieces that had yet to be cleared. “Don’t sugarcoat what happened between us. I’m not pretty. I’m a spinster. A disgraced spinster. I’m sure your uncle in Valley Springs expounded on what I’d done. Sold my family home and ran off to Montana Territory—with a man!” Roy Oscar Melden. “We never married. When he’d had enough of me, and my money was gone, he snuck off in the middle of the night, too. So, you see, I’m used to being left behind, Tommy. I’m not crying over spilt milk any longer. You shouldn’t feel any guilt where I’m concerned.”

  She chanced a glance into the living room, where Dalton and Adaline sat by the fire. They were too far away to hear the conversation, but the look on Adaline’s face said everything.

  Beth didn’t care. What was one more humiliating hurt?

  “Uncle Virgil did share your plight with me, because I asked him; I was concerned. And I was sorry to hear the telling. After you left Montana was when you came to Logan Meadows?”

  Her rage cooling fast, she nodded. All she could do was stare at her cup as she traced the rim with her finger. “That’s right. Violet was the only person in the world who might take me in. If she’d refused, my next step would’ve been the saloon.” She glanced up and searched his face for several long minutes. “And here I’ve been ever since.” Thinking of you every day…

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  For the thousandth time, Dalton berated himself for his lack of discretion. What in the heck had he been doing? If Jessie hadn’t interrupted them, he would have kissed Adaline. He’d wanted to kiss her more than anything else he’d ever wanted in his life. One moment, they were looking at his list of possible suspects, and the next, he’d fallen deep into her eyes, drowning as sure as if he were back in the choppy waters of the Pacific. For one moment, his world had stopped, and all he’d been able to see, or think about, or desire, was Adaline and her butter-soft lips. Her eyes beckoned. The sweet scent of her skin tortured his senses. And then his lips had brushed hers.

  He needed some distance before he did something more to regret—something that would hurt her in the long run. “Time to go,” he said quietly. “I’d hoped the snow would let up some, but that’s not the case. I best leave before night falls.” He didn’t want to go. He wanted to snuggle on the sofa with a blanket thrown over both of them.

  She reached to touch his arm but pulled back. “You might get turned around. Albert’s back in town. If something happens, he and Thom are there. Don’t risk your life to prove yourself. Please, be reasonable.”

  A veneer of fear reflected in her eyes by the firelight. Her sweet words of concern both bolstered him and troubled him. He’d confused her. Almost kissed her. He had no one else to blame but himself. He’d selfishly acted like a fool. She was avoiding his gaze, as she’d been doing since his moment of weakness. “I’m from Colorado, Adaline. I know snow. I’ll be fine.”

  “But I’ll have no way to be sure you arrived safely. I’ll worry.”

  “Can’t be helped. Even though Hannah’s feeling better, Thom’s either at their home or the restaurant. He has little time to watch for trouble. Albert gave me this whole month to prove I can be a deputy. He’s off duty and doesn’t want to be bothered.”

  “You don’t have to show you’re fit for the job. Albert wouldn’t have hired you otherwise.”

  He needed to prove to himself he could do this job. No one else had approached him for a case other than Violet. His future felt heavier than ever, especially with these feelings for Adaline.

  “Well, if you’re going back to town, are you letting Mr. Hollyhock and Beth know? They both wanted to go at one time.”

  “Better not yet. I’ll travel faster by myself.”

 
“So danger does exist!”

  Placing his hands on her shoulders, he fingered some loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Life’s full of risks, Adaline. Can’t avoid ’em.” The same was true for heartaches too, not just a winter storm.

  “I wonder where Marlene is staying? She won’t come home in this weather. And the hotel is so expensive.” She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.

  “I’m sure someone will extend an invitation. Tabitha has an extra room, Brenna, even Susanna. No need to worry about her.”

  “What about Courtney, Daisy, and Jake? I wish I knew they were home and safe. I feel isolated out here.”

  “Are all these questions designed to keep me by the warm fire? Because if they are, they’re working.” She smiled her old smile, the one which always got him way down deep. He missed their bantering friendship, their easy way. Would they ever get back to that?

  “Maybe they are. One less person to be concerned about.” She took a small step away from the fire. “Christmas Eve is only seven days away. If we’re all snowed in, we can’t decorate the community hall properly, or go to church, or shop for food for a lovely Christmas feast.”

  “You’re not the keeper of the world. And this is not the first storm in Wyoming.”

  In the kitchen, Tommy Hollyhock had scooted back his chair and stood.

  Beth whisked herself away down the hall.

  Knowing his departure was long overdue, Dalton stood and Adaline followed suit.

  “Did I hear you’re headed back to town, Deputy?” Tommy asked, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

  “I am. Will you be coming?”

  Tommy shook his head. “That had been my first thought, but after seeing my mother’s condition, I’d like to stay, if possible. My place, for however long, is at her side.” He looked at Adaline. “I hope that won’t be a problem.”

  “Not at all, Mr. Hollyhock.”

  Tommy glanced in Beth’s footsteps. “I wish I could say Miss Fairington felt the same.”

  Dalton pressed his lips together as the crackling of the fire cut through the quiet. Tommy carried a heavy guilt over breaking Beth’s heart. A fact Dalton should keep in mind. Love wasn’t a game. Consequences could be long lasting.

  “What about Beth?” Adaline moved closer to Dalton’s side. “Will she want to leave?”

  Tommy sighed heavily and then shook his head. “Best we leave her be for now. She’s had plenty to deal with for one day.”

  Dalton nodded then took in Adaline’s expression, wanting to remember how beautiful she looked in the firelight on a snowy day. He’d leave town before hurting her. Turning her into a scorned woman like Beth would be the absolute worst sin he could commit.

  Chapter Fifty

  In the kitchen of the Broken Horn, Courtney stirred a pan of gravy over the hot stove. The gooey substance swirling around her spoon reminded her of quicksand, which resembled her life. Blurting out the truth seemed the only way out of this trouble with Wil. Her confession was the only way to be free of him forever. Being snowed in for almost a week had given her solitude to think—and resolve.

  With a sigh, she added a splash of flour water and then used her wooden spoon to poke at the lumpy mixture. This noon meal wouldn’t be her finest fare, but Sarah and Shane wouldn’t notice.

  With a scuffling noise, Shane clomped into the room, dressed in the many layers she’d tugged over his head.

  The toddler’s striking blue eyes always amazed her. “Where’s Sarah?” Courtney asked. “The biscuits are just out of the oven, and the gravy is ready. Are you hungry, Shane?”

  The boy’s gaze roamed the room, and his mouth pulled down.

  He was still looking for his ma even after all these days. He’d taken to sleeping with Chase, even though he had a room of his own. His mischievous glint was nowhere to be seen. Feeling sad for him, Courtney picked him up even though he was heavy. “Don’t worry, little cowboy. Your mama will be home today.”

  His eyes welled.

  Probably not the right thing to mention just yet.

  His bottom lip wobbled.

  She needed to change the subject. Turning for a biscuit she’d just plated, movement outside the window caught her eye.

  Tyler and Jake crossed the front yard on their way to the bunkhouse, deep in conversation. The two men pushed through the fallen snow, their faces red from the cold.

  The only news she’d gathered from town was if Chase, Jake, Tyler, or one of the other men ventured there on horseback. She wondered who was helping Mr. Ling at the laundry. Also how Adaline and the rest of her friends had fared in the storm. But most of all, she wondered about Wil. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. If the weather held, and no new snow fell, the Christmas Eve party would go on.

  Breaking a biscuit in half, she handed a portion to Shane, still snuggled in her arms. “Sarah! Come eat before everything gets cold.” She turned from the window after one more glimpse of Tyler.

  Sarah hurried into the room, a doll gripped in her fist. “I’m a hungry bear!”

  Her father’s expression. Courtney hid a smile and set Shane in his high chair and then pushed him up to the table. Taking the clean diaper draped over the pine back, she pinned the material around his neck. “There, keep any spills to your bib, please.”

  A knock on the kitchen door sounded just as she finished serving their plates. Jake or Tyler? Chase never knocked.

  Cold air gushed inside, along with a flurry of snow that had collected around the doorframe. Seeing Jake, she grabbed his arm and dragged him inside.

  Tyler followed and closed the door.

  “I’m just serving the meal. Have either of you eaten?” she asked, aware of Tyler’s proximity. She thought about how close they’d huddled in the wagon, and how his words brought a flutter to her heart. “There’s plenty.”

  Both men removed their hats.

  Jake shook his head. “No, thanks. We’re expected at the bunkhouse.” He glanced at the table. “How do, Sarah? Shane? You having fun with Courtney?”

  “Yes!” Sarah called as she waved a biscuit she’d dipped into her gravy over her head. “She likes to play dolls. Or cat and mouse. She even likes to snuggle.”

  Ignoring her burning cheeks, Courtney leaned closer. “Please don’t mention Jessie’s absence. The children are holding up the best they can, but any reference brings tears.”

  “Chase went to get her,” Jake whispered back.

  Courtney nodded, well aware Tyler was allowing her brother to do all the talking. That was fine with her. The cut by his eyebrow had dried into a small, dark scab. The abrasion on his lip was almost gone and probably not even noticeable to anyone except her. Guilt for being the reason he’d sustained such injuries in the first place pooled in her belly. She felt his gaze riveted to her face, and more warmth crawled up her cheeks. She didn’t dare look at his knuckles.

  “Pleease, eat with us,” Sarah persisted.

  Jake shook his head. “Can’t, Sarah, darlin’. Although I’d love to. You know how cranky Tater Joe gets if we don’t show up when he rattles that triangle. But I’ll be back someday soon to see my best gal.” He winked, drawing a giggle.

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.” He clamped his hat to his chest and found Courtney’s gaze. “Don’t want to talk in front of little ears.”

  Whatever Jake came to say was important. Something about Wil? She stepped into the hallway, around the corner, and out of earshot. “What’s this about?” He looked like he was wrestling with his thoughts.

  “Well, truth be told, Wil hasn’t been seen anywhere in town since he and Tyler fought in the Silky Hen.” He glanced at Tyler.

  Tyler nodded.

  “Dalton, as well as Thom and Albert, have searched the town but can’t find where he’s holed up. Has ’em spooked. The room he’d taken before at the hotel’s been empty. Being tomorrow is Christmas Eve, I just thought I might ask you.”

 
“Ask me?” What on earth did he want her to say? She had no idea where Wil was. “Ask me what?” She looked between both their flint-hard stares, and realization dawned. She jerked straight. “You think I know where he is?”

  Jake never wavered. “Maybe. Has he contacted you?”

  “You think I’d protect him, Jake? And you, Tyler?” Hot indignation flashed through her body. Any warm feelings she’d felt for Tyler turned frosty cold. And what kind of brother would think such a thing? Heat scalded her face as a blinding hurt filled her. “I haven’t seen Wil since the day of the fight.” Refusing to say more, she defiantly clamped her mouth closed. Reputations are lost in the blink of an eye, Courtney, and take years to rebuild. Now she understood her father’s words of warning. Would her family and—she chanced a glance at Tyler—friends, ever trust her again?

  Both men stood there staring.

  Jake had more to say, she could see the questions in his eyes, but he was leery. She took pity. “That’s the truth, Jake. He hasn’t tried to contact me, or I him. If he did, I’d send him away without a word and then tell you.”

  Tyler must have told Jake he knew the truth, or else Jake wouldn’t have brought him along today.

  In the kitchen, the children chatted and laughed as they ate their meals.

  “I need to see to Sarah and Shane, unless you have more questions or suspicions. Feel free to ask away, if you do.”

  Jake glanced briefly at his fingernails and then back at her face. “Actually, one more. Are you going to the Christmas Eve party tomorrow night? Tyler told me about Wil’s threat. Might be prudent if you stayed away.”

  She’d been pondering the same thought for the last few days. Time to make a firm decision. Wil wouldn’t control her life for one more moment. “I’m going, all right. The women of Logan Meadows have provided me with a beautiful blue dress, and Jessie has a ribbon and pretty shawl to match. After all their generosity, how on earth can I now refuse to go? Wil is certain to be there and cause me heartache, but I must face him sooner or later—he’s made that perfectly clear. I’ll not allow him to ruin my life any more than he has already. My mind’s made up, Jake, so you might as well save your breath.”