Wands Have More Fun

by Rebecca Regnier

  “There you have it. The Moose and Congressman Schutte are coming to the rescue. Despite egregious mismanagement of the venue by owner Tatum McGowan, it looks as though the Miss Vernal Equinox Gala will go on.”

  “You muckraking, tabloid piece of hot garbage,” I heard Tatum yelling from the kitchen, which was apparently not far enough away.

  “The members of The Moose are happy to move decorations and any prepared food,” Ridge Schutte said calmly and as though he was the king of all he surveyed.

  “That’s a wonderful idea.”

  Mayor Candy Hitchcock could only remain calm and act above the fray at this point.

  The impromptu news conference was over. I flipped my camera phone to selfie mode and finished out the report.

  “And you heard it here live, the Gala will go on as promised, but now at The Moose Lodge. As you saw, the owner of The Frog Toe disputes the inspector’s report, but until the matter can be settled, The Frog Toe is now closed.”

  “OH, IT’S GOING TO GET SETTLED ALRIGHT.”

  I put the camera down.

  “Can somebody get her to please calm down?”

  I knew she wasn’t helping her case—or the image of the DLC as a group of women who had it together—by losing her temper while Ridge stay calm.

  It was a disaster of pageant proportions, and my phone was vibrating again. I was sure it was Justin, telling me I screwed something up.

  “Yes?”

  “That. Was. Awesome.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, that woman who owns The Frog Toe losing her mind, Ridge Schutte and The Fraternal Order of The Moose saving the day. It had everything! Great Job!”

  “Uh, yeah, right.”

  “Just stay close to your phone. Storm coverage, you know.”

  “Check.”

  We ended the call. The members of the DLC converged as a flurry of decorations being ripped down and people scrambling to leave the place surrounded us.

  “What the heck is happening?” Georgianne wondered.

  “Is she calming down back there?” I asked, and Fawn shook her head no.

  “She’s wanting to curse Ridge, The Moose, that reporter guy, the inspector guy, and uh, Mario because I told him to keep her in one place,” Fawn said, and I had no doubt that was a hard job, even for the undead with supernatural strength.

  Brule approached the group of us but remained silent.

  “Well, it’s a P.R. boon for Ridge Schutte and The Moose, saving the day,” Candy said. She was looking ahead to future public opinion. It was the hill she had to live and die on as a politician.

  “I don’t see that we have much choice but to move the event and make the best of it. And keep her chained in a basement if she stays rabid!” Pauline said it with a slightly manic smile. It was clear she too was losing it in her own way. She turned to go, I assumed to salvage what she could of her big gala. But before she did, she stopped and turned back around to face me.

  “I expect all the judges to make the trek over to The Moose. Even if it’s the last place, you want to be. It is your duty.”

  “Yes, for sure. I’m on my way.”

  I was not about to argue with Pauline or reason with Tatum.

  “I have to go, as you can see,” I said to the others.

  “Me too. We should all go actually, to support Pauline and to show our appreciation to The Moose,” Candy said.

  “This is a direct attack on The Distinguished Ladies, can’t you feel it?” Georgianne commented, and she was right.

  “We all feel it, but we can’t DO anything about it tonight,” Candy replied.

  “We can do something about it. We are invited to The Moose Lodge this time. Let’s keep our eyes open,” I said.

  “Oh, maybe we can find something, steal something, anything really to use an illuminating spell about what they’re up to?” Fawn added, and we were all getting on the same page. We needed to act, and this was one way we could do it.

  “Probably someone should stay with Tatum?” I suggested.

  “Yeah, you know, you’re right. You guys go. I’ll hang here and hope she doesn’t kill Mario,” Fawn said.

  “Perfect,” I agreed and turned to leave with my handsome and totally ignored date.

  “It may be dangerous for you witches at The Moose Lodge. We have seen that they are willing to attack you.”

  “It’ll be fine.” I brushed him off, though I knew he was following close behind as I nearly wiped out on the ice trying to get to my car. Brule was there in a flash and caught me. This time, he put me over his shoulder and trudged through the weather to get me to my Jeep. A lot less romantic, but I supposed he was as annoyed with me as I was with the situation.

  I hated wearing dresses and high heels; this proved to me yet again, why. He deposited me in the Jeep, this time in the driver’s seat.

  “If this lodge is filled with minions of Alvarado, I will be unable to walk across the threshold.”

  “Are you getting in the Jeep?”

  “No, I will guard the perimeter, and be vigilant if you need me. You must be vigilant inside.”

  “The entire town is on the way over there. They’re not going to eat me at the Miss Vernal Equinox Gala.”

  “I will be nearby.” He disappeared into the night.

  “Good grief, I’ll never get used to that.” I put the car in gear and slowly motored my way through the blizzard to the Gala Part Two.

  Chapter 14

  I had to admit; the lodge looked pretty nice. Although there was upheaval among the planners of the event, the participant and the families, and the sponsors all seemed happy.

  “Decorated pretty nicely, eh?” I said to Georgianne.

  “Almost as if they planned to have it here,” she said.

  “Let’s just keep our eyes open.”

  Four of our smaller Coven Quorum circulated at the event, along with a dozen or more members of the DLC. They checked in with me, each other, and we watched each other’s backs. I could still hear their chants from the other night: “Take Back The Bay.” They wanted to get rid of the Distinguished Ladies. That part was now crystal clear.

  I mingled and did whatever Pauline asked. I generally tried not to act like a lunatic. Right now, The DLC looked like a group of wackos, and The Moose Lodge members did not. But the general public did not know that they were volunteering to be undead minions at their evening get-togethers.

  I watched, nodded, smiled, and got a text or two from Justin that the storm was subsiding. I could stand down on weather coverage. Oh good. At least one thing was off my spinning plate.

  I also withstood a few ribbings that Your U.P. News had, in fact, biffed the forecast. Telling readers and viewers, it wasn’t going to hit us, just like it didn’t. I smiled and tried not to react.

  We’d lost a battle we’d only just realized we were fighting with The Moose.

  I knew these Moose Lodge jerks had gotten one over on us and it was Yooperman with the assist. And then I caught a break.

  “Hey, Thew!” The troll who’s saved my life and probably the lives of a lot more citizens of Widow’s Bay, by leading a defection from Alvarado, walked by me with a tray of pigs in a blanket.

  “Yes, ma’am. Let me suggest the—” he stopped in the middle of his offer, “Oh, it’s you.”

  “Good to see you too, Thew. What are you doing here?”

  “Ah, the lodge put out a help wanted for staffing this event, a few weeks ago. I jumped on it since money’s been tight.”

  “A few weeks ago?” My theory was now supported by facts. The Moose and Ridge had planned to sabotage the gala all along.

  “Yes. Now, you better take a pig in a blanket, or I’ll look lazy.”

  I grabbed one.

  “Thew, quick question for you, since money’s an issue. I have one hundred bucks if you could provide me with a lock of hair, a fingernail clipping, hanky, something of that Governor Lockwood dude.”

  “Oh, sure, no problem. I’ll j
ust rip a big of hair from his head when he dips his shrimp in the cocktail sauce.”

  “You’re more creative than that.”

  “I’m assuming you want it for some witch hocus pocus?”

  “One hundred fifty.”

  “Cash?”

  “Sure, and I need it within an hour.”

  “Here’s 75-bucks to get you started.” It was all I had. I’d have to grab more cash from my DLC members if Thew was able to pull it off.

  If we had something from the head of this group, the Governor, maybe our little coven could discover a little more about the conspiracy of The Moose.

  After another hour smiling and chatting and assuring several different mothers that their daughters and sons were, indeed, very talented, Thew came through.

  “Here.” He put a small piece of cloth my hand.

  “What is it?”

  “A merit badge of some kind. How the heck am I supposed to know? They don’t put Trolls in Boy Scouts or whatever the heck this is.”

  “It’s a fraternal organization.”

  “Whatever, pay up.”

  I slid him the rest of the cash I promised, cobbled together from the various DLC members sprinkled around the event.

  “Pleasure doing business with you,” I muttered.

  “Likewise.” With that, Thew disappeared back into the festivities.

  The event was winding down, and that was okay. I’d at least gotten something we could use. I hoped that it was enough to wring a tiny victory from the sinking ship that was tonight’s gala.

  But we needed to get out of here and get spell casting before The Moose wreaked any more havoc on the DLC.

  I looked at Pauline, and she got my meaning.

  “Can we leave?”

  “Yes, the contestants are all gone, the sponsors seem satisfied at the venue shift, and I think the near disaster has been averted.”

  Pauline looked tired. I wondered if the Miss Vernal Equinox Pageant would be the community event that finally crushed her spirit. I hoped not. I liked her spirit.

  “We need to get back to The Frog Toe.”

  “I’ll round up the girls.” Pauline dove back into the thinning crowd.

  We said our goodbyes, which clearly Ridge was glad about, and we piled into our various vehicles.

  As I drove, I had to appreciate the beauty of what the storm had left behind. It was fresh snow, drifted into small mountains. Had any one of us not been equipped with a four-wheel drive there’d be no trudging through. But we all did. And we all could. That, my friends, is Pure Michigan: four-wheel drive.

  I traded my fancy shoes for the boots I kept in the back and trudged through the uncharacteristically empty Frog Toe parking lot. I didn’t need a vampire to sweep me off my feet, but I also figured he was hovering somewhere if I did. It was great and weird to know he could swoop in like that.

  The Frog Toe was a much quieter place than when we had to bug out a few hours ago.

  “Tatum?” I called out. It was empty and quiet, and so not the normal vibe for this space. I worried for Tatum as her chief concerns were always centered on taking care of this business. It was her baby just as much as her son Zack was.

  I was the first one to arrive and didn’t get an answer when I called. I walked back into the office areas. There was a light at on in Tatum’s office, and the door was slightly ajar. I gently pushed it open.

  “OH! Sorry. Excuse me.”

  “I’ll be right out,” Tatum said, rearranging her Frog Toe T-shirt. Mario, who I’d caught in the act of lip lock with Tatum, gave me the most wicked smile I may have ever seen!

  I quickly walked back to the cauldron, where the rest of the witches were now sitting, in various stages of unwinding.

  “Did you find Tatum?” Candy asked me.

  “I did, she was, uh, having a conversation with Mario.” My tone made it obvious that they were not talking.

  “Oh, really?” Georgianne had heard me. Pauline leaned in then too.

  “What? Tatum and Mario?” She smiled at the thought. We all did. Good for Tatum.

  “I thought we left Fawn here to babysit her,” Candy said and as if by magic, Fawn walked in through the main door with a sack. We instantly recognized it as the one she typically stored our witchy ingredients.

  “I texted Fawn. Georgianne did a quick search, we needed a few things,” I explained. Tatum came out to greet us with no sign of her hunka hunka burning vampire.

  “I do not want to talk about it. I had some steam to burn off.”

  “Apparently so,” I said, and we all giggled a bit at the turn of events.

  “Okay, let’s get to it. The Moose is messing with us, and it’s affecting my bottom-line,” Tatum said.

  “Yeah, mine too,” Georgianne replied.

  “Pretty much all of us are seeing some negative effects of Ridge and The Moose. We’ve got a couple of issues to sort out. One, how’s Alvarado or Ridge convincing those idiots to turn vampire? Brule told us they’re like half-vampires, or supplicants or something. Not very glamorous or powerful, but they could be a real pain in our necks if we don’t figure something out.”

  “The next issue is, how are they getting state inspectors to crawl up our behinds at every turn?” Georgianne asked.

  “Oh, and the wands. I accidentally put a dachshund to sleep for four hours today,” Fawn reported, and we all gasped.

  “No, no, not dead asleep, just snoring asleep. My wand is supposed to talk to the animals, help ease suffering, but what I did was drop the poor thing into dreamland half the day.”

  “Oh, yeah, we need to sort that. I ‘accidentally blew up an animal trap at my neighbor’s house.”

  It turned out each of the ladies had experimented a little, with similar results. These wands were powerful.

  “Okay, so Moose spell and wand power levels, that about covers it,” Candy suggested.

  “Yes,” Fawn agreed.

  “I think we need to try to use those wands as soon as possible and to be sure we know what we’re doing before we do.”

  “I think that’s a brilliant idea!”

  We turned, and there were Maxine, Aunt Dorothy, and Frances.

  “How in the world did you three drive in this?”

  “Oh, we had a ride.” And Grady stepped in behind them.

  “These three beauties needed a lift. And I was lucky enough to be in desperate need of three beauties.” Grady bowed to the three OG DLC members and they all giggled. Well, not Maxine. I don’t think giggling was in her wheelhouse.

  “Thank you so much, Grady. We couldn’t have been in better hands.” Grady kissed Aunt Dorothy’s hand, and then Frances’, and he gave Maxine a salute, which she returned.

  I was also on the receiving end of a bow.

  “I can take them back home after your pow wow. Tatum, I’m going to plow out your parking lot. It’s not coming down anymore, and I’ve got the blade on my truck.”

  “Have at it, I appreciate it,” Tatum said and then sat at the cauldron in our slightly wider circle of nine.

  “Of course, no one can come to patronize my establishment because of the B.S. inspector.”

  “Okay, so first up, with your wands. I have a list here of all the active devices,” Maxine announced, taking charge of the meeting. She made a motion with her hand, and a scroll type document appeared.

  “Where was that?” Georgianne asked her.

  “Oh, it’s in your back library. I just had to summon it.”

  “I looked for that and couldn’t find it.” Georgianne prided herself on getting the proper text at the proper time.

  “I had it filed under ‘R.’”

  “R? Not W?”

  “Yeah, it was ‘Rules for Wands.'”

  Maxine looked at Aunt Dorothy and shook head like Georgianne was off her rocker to think wand stuff would be filed under ‘W.’

  “I need to spend a day in your brain and learn your filing system.”

  “I’ll just put it on a f
lash drive.” Maxine was always surprising.

  “Let’s get back to the task at hand?” Aunt Dorothy said, and I was all for that.

  “On the wands, you all are using WAY too much juice,” Maxine explained.

  “Wands amplify and intensify the magic you need to be done,” Aunt Dorothy added.

  “You have to pull back on the throttled if you don’t want total destruction,” Maxine continued. “Half your energy and will, a small controlled amount, goes into the magic that’s needed for the wand.”

  The information would have been helpful a day or two ago before we all obliterated one thing or another about town.

  “One time, I used my wand to help bake a cake. My oven was busted, and I had promised to bring the cake to June’s party. There was no getting around it. And back then, you didn’t have places that just had cakes, like Costco. Anyway, I was in a hurry, and I aimed my wand at that sucker to bake it and BOOM! We found cake batter on the trees around the CORNER!” Frances clapped her hands at the memory.

  “You nearly blew up your house, it’s not funny,” Aunt Dorothy said.

  “And that poor dog had a spatula up his—” Maxine began.

  “—Okay, we don’t need to relive the whole mess,” Aunt Dorothy interrupted before we learned exactly where the spatula wound up.

  “The point is, let up on the gas if you have your wands or you’ll blow Widow’s Bay into Lake Superior,” Maxine cautioned.

  “Now, let me show you the scroll. This is how we know how you used your wands this week. Marzie, you’re the Rowan?”

  Aunt Dorothy showed us the line that had my wand listed. The word I used, profiglio, was listed next to the type of wand I had. There was a blank space where the owner’s name needed to go.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. Maxine, write her name down next to the Rowan. The scroll registers the wand type, its abilities, and then each time it is used. It’s automatic. We just need to match you all up. That’s the only thing that’s not automatic.”

  Maxine wrote my name near the Rowan Wand. I looked back up the list. The original Distinguished Ladies Club was listed here, and then back and back through the centuries. I would like to have just spent a night reading all of it.