by Laura John
I hear him chuckle, and I smile.
“I’m sure you look amazing,” he tries to assure me. “I can’t wait to see you in it.”
I blush. Dustin is always the sweetest. Sometimes I wish I was more his type. I wonder what a relationship with him would be like. He is the only guy who has ever touched me and not made me want to pull away. He honestly calms me in a way no one else can.
Shaking my head, I get my thoughts straight. Nope, that’s a bad idea. I made a rule for myself years ago that he meant way too much to me to risk crossing that line.
“You are not going to believe the awesome prank I played on Kyle this week,” Dustin says, bringing me back to reality.
“You put that man through way too much,” I say, wondering what shenanigans he got up to this time.
“Hey, he dishes out just as much as I do,” he whines.
I smile. “Okay, so what did you do this time?”
“Well, Decker and I filled up water balloons with ketchup and snuck onto his tour bus to throw them at him. The only thing we didn’t know beforehand, though, was he was getting busy with a girl.”
I bark out a laugh and snort a little. Covering my face, I blush.
“It’s cute when you snort,” Dustin says, and I blush even more.
“That poor girl. I hope Kyle gets back at you.”
“Yeah, I’m kind of terrified of that. Even I felt bad for the woman. We never would have done that if we knew she was in there.”
I giggle, then yawn. It’s almost one in the morning, but Dustin doesn’t usually get time to call until late. His concerts can run late, and when he goes out with the boys, it’s even later. But I never turn down his calls.
“Do you need to go to sleep? I didn’t even realize what time it is,” Dustin tells me, and I can tell he feels bad.
“It’s okay. I like hearing your voice.” I blush. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
Do friends just call each other because they miss the other person’s voice?
“I miss you,” Dustin admits, and I feel my heart do a funny flip.
“I miss you too,” I whisper, grabbing my necklace.
I wrap the chain around my fingers, trying to figure out what to say next. Sometimes I feel this connection to Dustin like I have never felt with anyone before. He knows me better than anyone, and I just feel this pull. But I can’t jeopardize my friendship with him. Olivia needs him in her life.
“I should probably go,” I tell Dustin hesitantly.
“If you want to,” he says, but neither one of us hangs up.
“Tell me more about the tour,” I tell him. I know I should go to sleep, but I don’t want to.
We talk for a little bit longer, and I fall asleep just listening to Dustin breathing. Is that a normal friend thing?
“I want Duddy!” Olivia cries for the fourth night this week.
Dustin has been on tour for three weeks, and Olivia is missing him like crazy. He should be on a night off from performing, but I can’t get him on the phone.
Pulling Olivia into my arms, I hold her as she cries. It’s so hard to explain to her that he’s just a friend and has no real obligations to her. Because she sees him as family. I know Dustin isn’t ignoring her on purpose. Life just gets busy.
I haven’t even spoken to him myself in two weeks, which is odd, but I try not to think anything of it.
“I’ll try one more time, honey, but if he doesn’t answer, it’s time for bed.”
With her lower lip sticking out, she nods. I take a breath and make the call.
“What’s up?” Dustin finally answers.
I let out a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry to bother you, but Olivia is really missing you and won’t stop crying.”
“Come back to bed, baby,” I hear a female voice saying in the background.
Shit. I just interrupted him with a girl.
I close my eyes tight, trying to focus on my breathing. I shouldn’t be upset about that. I don’t have any right to be upset. We’re just friends.
“I’m sorry, Dustin. I didn’t realize. I should go.” I stammer over my words, not sure what to say.
“I want Duddy!” Olivia screams, and I don’t know what to do.
“Put her on the phone,” Dustin says.
I turn the speaker phone on. “Say hi, honey.”
“Hi, Duddy,” she says, tears instantly stopping.
“Hey, princess. I miss you. Are you being good for Mommy?”
“Yessss,” she says, drawing out the s.
I giggle and shake my head. “That’s a matter of opinion.”
“Oh, Olivia is always good. Right, princess?”
She smiles and nods.
“He can’t see you, honey. You have to use your words,” I remind her.
“Wuv you, Duddy. Goodnight,” Olivia finally says, and pulls her blanket over her head.
I guess this conversation is over.
“Goodnight, princess,” Dustin says.
I give her a quick kiss before leaving the room. “Sorry for bothering you again. Thanks for talking to her. She really misses you.”
“It’s fine, but I should get going. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Talk soon,” I say before hanging up.
I lean over and place my hands on my stomach, feeling like I might throw up.
What Dustin and I have is weird. We share moments that most friends don’t. We don’t always act like friends, yet we both have no control over whether or not the other person dates someone else. I shouldn’t mind. Maybe this girl is perfect for him.
So why is my stomach in knots?
“Thanks for last night,” Nina says, kissing my cheek. “Next time you’re back in L.A., call me.”
She walks out of my hotel room, and I feel like a piece of shit. I should have known Olivia would want to talk to me last night. And Crystal did not need to hear Nina.
Nina and I have been friends with benefits for a couple of years now. Anytime I’m in L.A., I call her up and we get together. If we lived in the same town, I could actually see us being a couple. She’s sweet and really smart, not at all like the girls who usually try to date me.
Even if we lived in the same town, though, it probably wouldn’t work out. Not when my heart belongs to someone else.
I called Nina last night to try to get Crystal out of my head, but it didn’t really work. I don’t know why my heart won’t get the picture that Crystal and I won’t work out. She isn’t interested, and I can’t pine over her forever. I’ll just have to keep trying to date other women, and maybe one day my heart will get on board.
Grabbing my phone off the counter, I call my manager, Kyle.
“What do you want?” he asks.
I know he’s still pissed about the prank.
“I know we have a performance tonight, but then I have two nights off. Can you book me a flight home for as soon as the concert is over?” I ask.
I wasn’t originally planning on going to Crystal’s birthday party because of the tour, but after last night, I really want to surprise her.
“Why should I do you any favors?”
“Because it’s for Crystal. She called while I was with Nina, and I feel bad. I want to surprise her for her birthday. Please, man.”
I hear him sigh, and know he is going to give in. He loves Crystal. Everyone at Transcendent is like family. And even though Crystal is guarded, everyone is drawn to her.
“Fine, but only because it’s for Crystal. I’ll send you all the information, but it can only be for one night.”
“Thanks. You’re the best.”
“There’s a delivery at the front desk for you. A fan left some chocolates. Do you want them sent up?” he asks, putting his manager hat back on.
“Sure. Send them up. You know I love my sweets.”
I hang up and start packing a small bag, so I don’t have to check any luggage.
When the package gets delivered, I see a note. It’s always fun to see what t
he fans have to say, so I read it.
I love you. I hope you love me too.
Okay, that’s kind of weird, but it’s not the first time a fan has professed their love for me. I get people proposing to me on a regular basis, honestly. I toss the note in the trash and put it out of my mind.
Me: What club is the party at again?
Shae: All That Jazz. We have the VIP section booked out.
Damon: So glad you’re coming.
Me: Don’t tell Crystal. It’s a surprise.
Damon: My lips are sealed.
Shae: Won’t say a word.
The music is loud, and I’m immediately flocked by fans. I’m glad Kyle made me bring my security guard, who is peeling off the screaming fans. When you first enter a crowded club, it isn’t bad, because there are so many people and you can get lost in the crowd. But the second one person notices you, it’s game over, because everyone wants to know what’s going on.
Normally, people give me my space when I’m out and about, but people don’t understand personal space at nightclubs.
We make our way to the VIP section, very slowly. The minute we get there, I feel like I can finally breathe. I scan the area, looking for Crystal, but I can’t find her.
Shae runs up to me and jumps into my arms.
“You made it!” she slurs.
I smile down at her. “And you look like you’ve had more than enough to drink.”
She giggles, and again, I scan the area for Crystal.
“Where’s the birthday girl?” I ask, still not able to spot her.
“She’s dancing. Some sexy guy has been grinding on her all night. I think our girl is finally getting lucky tonight.”
I feel my jaw tick. Who the fuck thinks they can put their hands on my girl? I mean, she isn’t my girl, but… Fuck, why am I so angry right now?
“Down, boy,” Damon says, walking up behind Shae.
“I’m fine,” I lie.
“Then why do you look like you’re about to rip someone apart?” he asks.
“I think he’s jealous,” Shae adds. “I told him that Crystal’s dancing, and then his fists balled up.”
Damon laughs and claps me on the back. He points to the dance floor, and I see red.
A tall guy with jet-black hair has his hands all over Crystal. She looks…happy. Should I go down there and stop it, or just let her have a good time?
I stalk toward the bar and get a beer. Maybe some liquor will calm me down.
“Hey, man. Why do you look like someone kicked your dog?” Mikey says, walking up to me and giving me a bro hug.
“It’s nothing. Just tired,” I lie.
“Yeah, I’m glad I’m just doing short stints away from home,” Mikey says, taking a pull from his beer. “I can’t be away from my family for that long anymore.”
I nod. I didn’t think I would miss my family as much as I do. But I miss Crystal and Olivia even more.
“I’m glad this tour is only six months, and then I have lots of time at home,” I tell him.
I walk over to the railing that gives me a great view of the dance floor. I watch Crystal; her long brown hair sways as she shakes her head. She wraps her hands around the guy’s neck and raises on her toes to kiss him.
I drop my beer, causing it to shatter.
“Fuck,” I mumble.
A waitress comes over and quickly cleans it up.
“You okay?” Tia asks, coming up to me.
I don’t even know how to answer that question. I don’t know what I am right now.
“I’m not even sure,” I admit.
I walk to a set of couches and sit down. Tia follows suit and sits beside me. I run a hand through my hair, trying to get a hold of these emotions.
“Have you seen Crystal yet?” she asks.
I nod. “Yeah, but she hasn’t seen me yet. I wanted to surprise her, but I think it was a bad idea.”
I grab a shot off the tray of a waitress walking by and shoot it back fast. Tia gives me knowing eyes and nods.
“Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same way?” I ask.
Tia is like my older sister, and I’m so glad she agreed to manage me when I was only eighteen.
“Have you told her?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I can’t. I don’t want to lose our friendship.”
I feel like a pansy for talking about this. I’m not the guy who gets drunk and starts confessing shit.
Tia pats my knee.
When I look up, I see Crystal and the guy she was dancing with. Her eyes meet mine; her smile is big enough to light up a whole city.
Running over to me, she throws herself into my arms. She smells so good and I don’t want to let her go.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she asks, sitting on my lap.
“I wanted to surprise you. You only turn twenty-one once.” I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, letting my hand rest on her face for a moment.
I feel her shiver under my touch, and I smile.
“Well, I’m glad you made it,” she admits, and places her hand on my shoulder.
We sit there for a minute, just staring at each other, her eyes drawing me in.
“Are you ready to go?” the guy Crystal was dancing with asks.
I want to punch him in the face. Can’t he see that we’re busy?
Crystal looks back and forth between me and the guy for a moment, as if trying to come up with an answer.
“I actually think I’m going to stay,” she tells him, and I can’t help the smug smile that spreads across my face. “Thanks for coming out, though. I’ll see you at work on Monday.”
He gives me a glare, but nods at Crystal and walks away.
“Who was that?” I ask, hoping she doesn’t give me an answer I won’t like.
“He works security at our building. I’m sure you’ve seen him before.”
I nod. Now that she said that, he actually does look familiar.
The song switches to something peppy and upbeat, and Crystal starts squirming in my lap. She’d better stop, or I’m going to pop an erection, and she’ll definitely be able to feel it.
“Oh, my God, I love this song!” she yells.
I don’t know why, but I grab her hand and lead her to the dance floor. I guess I’m a glutton for punishment. She clearly wants to dance, and she is not dancing with anyone but me now that I’m here.
Dustin’s hands feel amazing on my body.
Shae has made me have way more to drink than I probably should have, but I feel free. I don’t care about anything. I’m just letting go for the night.
When I was dancing with Bobby, it felt nice. He made me feel safe and wanted, and I almost went home with him. I wonder if it was the alcohol making me let down my guard and not care about him touching me?
But the way my body is on fire with Dustin is not even comparable.
My body is screaming to rip off his clothes and have sex with him right here on the dance floor. Which is totally not like me. I mean it’s not like I’ve even had sex since…well, the first time.
I’ve never felt this carnal need for someone before and I don’t know what to do about it. Dustin is my friend; I should not be having these feelings. But every time his hands move up and down my sides, I feel myself getting wetter.
My back is pressed against his front and his hands are firmly planted on my hips. Every time I brush my ass against his groin, I can feel his hard cock pressing against his jeans. My knees wobble a bit at the realization that he wants me too.
But what does that mean? Is it just the alcohol and the environment? I mean, with so many people dirty dancing, it’s hard not to get turned on.
I turn in his grasp and wrap my hands around his neck. His eyes darken and then zoom in on my lips.
I lick my lips, feeling my mouth go dry.
Slowly, he moves one hand to the side of my face, and I feel a shiver run down my spine.
Before I have time to think everything
through, Dustin’s mouth is on mine, and I melt.
I kissed Bobby earlier, but it felt nothing like this.
I can barely stand on my feet. My whole body has gone limp. I run my fingers through his hair, tugging slightly. Regaining some strength, I push myself closer into Dustin’s body, not wanting any distance. I need to be as close to him as humanly possible.
His tongue licks my lips, asking for entrance, and I gladly open. Our tongues duel against each other and with every passing moment, I’m wanting to drag him to anywhere so I can rip his clothes off and let him have his way with me.
This is my best friend.
My thoughts finally clear and I panic. I push Dustin back, trying to catch my breath. My eyes are wide, and I run.
What the hell was I thinking? I should not be making out with my best friend. I clearly have had way too much to drink. I need to get out of here, and fast.
Running to the VIP section, I hear Dustin yelling behind me, but I don’t stop.
I can’t believe I did that. Things are going to be so awkward now. I don’t have many friends because I like to keep a wall up around my heart, and now I may have lost the one who means the most to me.
“Hey, girl,” Shae says, stopping me, and I feel like I’m going to puke. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head. “I need to get out of here now.”
“Let me take you home,” Dustin says, sneaking up behind me.
I don’t know if I should agree or not, but maybe on the drive home, we can talk this out and go back to how we were.
“Shae, can you come to the bathroom with me?” I ask, needing some advice.
She nods, and we head to the ladies’ room.
“What is going on?” she asks.
I lock the door, feeling the tears about to break from my eyes. God, I’m a mess when I’m drunk.
“I made out with Dustin, and I don’t know what to do about it,” I say, bracing myself on the counter.
“Go home and have your dirty way with him,” she jokes.
I shake my head. “You know I don’t do that. Hell, I don’t normally let guys even touch me. The alcohol is making me a different person.” I pause and look at the floor. “I’d just disappoint him anyway.”