by Laura John
“Let’s take five,” Arny says, standing and leaving the studio.
I come out of the recording booth, and Jay gestures for me to take a seat.
“So, who is she?” he asks with a knowing look.
“Crystal.” I smile.
His eyes go wide. “You two finally hooking up?”
“Not yet, but she invited me over for dinner, and ever since her birthday, things have been different. I can’t stop thinking about her.” I lean back in the chair, a grin spreading across my face. “I really think we could be good together. I just have to get her out of her head. She had a shitty childhood, as you know, and I think that’s why she keeps a guard up, but she’s starting to take it down, and I’m excited, man.”
He nods with a knowing smile. “I get it. Melly made me so happy at the beginning, and everyone made fun of me. Fuck, she still makes me happy, but this is work. We just need to get you out of your head and into the music. Because the longer it takes to finish this song, the longer it’s going to take to get to your girl.”
“I can do this. Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”
He chuckles, shaking his head, and walks out.
I know I need to focus, so I grab my headphones and put on one of my favorite songs. It’s one of Mikey’s, and it’s a great hate song. Perfect for getting my head in the game for this song. I jump up and down, singing along, and by the time it’s over, I’m pumped and ready to go.
“Let’s do this,” I tell Arny.
He nods.
I enter the booth and put the headphones on. I nod at Arny, and he starts the music. I close my eyes and focus on the words, clearing my mind of everything but the music.
“There we go!” Jay shouts, looking a lot happier than he was earlier. “A couple more takes like that and we’ll be done.”
I grin at him. That felt amazing. I hate wasting time, so the earlier takes pissed me off, but I know it won’t take long to finish if I keep this momentum going.
“I told you not to bring anything,” Crystal says, taking the bottle of wine from me.
I smile at her and pick up Olivia, who is clinging to my leg. “I know, but it’s your favorite.”
She smiles, looking at me through her lashes. “You remembered.”
I pull her in for a side hug. “I pay a lot more attention than you think I do.”
“I hungry,” Olivia says, and I tickle her belly.
“Oh, really?” I ask as she giggles and wiggles in my arms.
I put her in her booster seat and sit down in the chair next to her.
“So, what are we having?” I ask Crystal.
“Your favorite,” she says with a smile.
“Fuck yeah! Lasagna?”
“Language,” she scolds me.
I blush. “Sorry. I slip back into old habits when I’m on the road.”
“I know, but she’s a little parrot, so we have to be careful.”
I nod. “I promise I’ll try harder.”
Crystal puts a small plate in front of Olivia.
“Fuck yeah,” she says, and I hang my head.
Crystal covers her mouth, fighting a laugh. “See what I mean?”
“Livvy, honey, that’s not a nice word, and I shouldn’t have said it,” I tell her.
She looks at me and gives a tiny nod.
“Do you want me to help you eat?” I ask.
“Yes, pwease,” she says.
Damn, this is the cutest little girl in the world. I never thought I would be so attached to a kid, especially not one who isn’t technically mine.
“If you just put it on the fork for her, she can feed herself. No need to spoil her,” Crystal says, placing a plate in front of me.
“What if I like spoiling my two favorite girls?” I ask, shooting her a wink.
She rolls her eyes and sits next to me with her own plate of lasagna.
With Crystal’s attention on her food, I take a moment to take her in. She’s wearing no makeup and her hair is in a messy bun with pieces falling around her face, but fuck, she’s beautiful.
“What?” she asks, noticing I’m staring.
“You’re wearing the earrings,” I tell her, which is technically true.
A blush comes over her chest and face.
“I love them,” she whispers before she takes another bite.
I have a hard time pulling my attention from her. I always have. I know her better than anyone.
“Stop staring at me and eat before it gets cold,” she says.
I chuckle and take a bite, a moan escaping from my lips.
“This is better than I remember,” I tell her, and again the beautiful shade of pink creeps across her skin.
“I want food,” Livvy whines, and I turn my attention back to her.
“Here you go, princess,” I tell her, loading up her fork.
She takes it from my hand and shoves it in her mouth.
“Mmmm, yummy!” she gushes, clearly happy with the food choice.
It doesn’t take long for us to clear our plates. And, of course, I have seconds.
“Honey, it’s time for a bath,” Crystal tells Olivia, and a pout comes across her little face.
“Can Duddy give me a bath?” she asks, and there is no way I could tell her no.
“Of course, I can,” I tell her, not giving Crystal a chance to say anything else. “You relax. I’ve got this.”
“I’ll clean the kitchen. You know I can’t sit around and do nothing.”
I smile at her and nod. If there is something to be done, Crystal is doing it. It’s like she can’t sit still. I wonder if it has something to do with her upbringing.
“Come on, princess. Let’s get you all cleaned up,” I say, picking Olivia up and taking her to the bathroom.
Bath time was…interesting. I’m pretty sure Olivia got more water outside of the tub than in it. But it was fun.
Getting her to bed was a piece of cake, on the other hand. Sometimes I wonder if this angel could ever be rotten.
“You’re too good with her,” Crystal says when I enter the kitchen.
“She’s an easy child,” I say, picking up a towel and drying a couple of dishes.
“For you, maybe. But you aren’t her parent. You’re just fun Uncy Duddy, who comes over, brings gifts, and doesn’t punish her.”
I hear a bit of resentment in her voice.
“I know it’s not easy raising her by yourself, but you really are doing a fantastic job,” I tell her.
She just keeps washing the dishes, not responding. I set the towel down and pull her by the waist to face me.
“You may not believe it, but you are amazing, Crystal,” I tell her.
She stares at our feet for a moment before raising her gaze to meet mine.
“It really is hard doing everything on my own. I know I have a great support system, but it’s still challenging. At the end of the day, I’m all she has.”
“Why don’t you try sharing some of the load?” I ask.
“I already use other people too much. Olivia needs her mother.”
“What about me? If you give us a chance, I could be her father.”
I’ve been thinking long and hard about this for a while. Olivia has been in my life since she was four months old, and honestly, I already think of her as a daughter. I wouldn’t mind taking on more and helping with whatever I can. I want a partnership with Crystal, and I know that comes with another heart attached.
“You’re twenty-one, Dustin. Why would you want the burden of being in a relationship with me?” she whispers.
“Because from the moment you walked into my life three years ago, I wanted more. You’ve only grown on me since that day. I can’t picture my life without you, and I’m done with this ‘just friends’ game.”
I probably should wait for a response, but I crash my lips to hers. She pauses, stunned, for a second, but quickly responds, wrapping her arms around my neck.
She breaks the kiss slowly.
She’s not saying no! This is my chance and I won’t fuck it up.
Am I really agreeing to this? Am I actually willing to put my heart, and Olivia’s, on the line?
I don’t think Dustin will intentionally hurt us, but life happens. It’s easy to break someone’s heart even if you don’t mean to.
“Let’s watch a movie,” Dustin says, grabbing my hand.
I follow him to the living room. What happens now? Are we in a relationship? Are we only seeing each other? I have so many questions and concerns, but I don’t know how to voice them.
“What’s going on in that brain of yours?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
I cuddle into his side so I don’t have to look at him.
“I’m scared,” I admit.
“I would never do anything to hurt you. And I wouldn’t ever push you to do anything you don’t want to do. We go at your speed. I just want you to give us a chance,” he tells me.
I smile. “Okay, I’m in.”
He grabs my chin and pulls me to his lips, then he lets me cuddle back in and turns on a movie.
The night goes perfectly. We laugh and talk like always, but now there is kissing and tickling, and hell of a lot of sexual tension.
I can’t give in too easily, though; I have to know this is going to last. He has always made me feel special, but I have to have no doubts when I take that next step. I can’t let myself get hurt the way Gavin hurt me again.
“Your skin is so soft,” Dustin says, caressing my side and sending shivers through my body.
We are lying in my bed cuddling, both of us having trouble sleeping.
“And your body is like a goddamn furnace,” I joke, giving him a small shove, knowing it won’t move him at all.
“I think you like it when I make you hot,” he says, rolling us so he is on top of me.
My breath catches and my heart rate picks up. He slowly kisses my neck down to my shoulder, and my nipples harden. I close my eyes, enjoying the sensation. I don’t think I’ve ever been turned on like this.
“You smell amazing,” he says, taking a deep inhale. I don’t know why, but that’s hot. “Do you use strawberry shampoo? Whatever it is, don’t ever change it. I love it.”
He kisses my lips, his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth, and I open for him. His tongue is warm in my mouth, and his roaming hands feel fantastic. His left hand is on my hip and slowly moves towards my center.
I freeze, pushing him off of me.
“Are you okay?” he asks, moving and taking his hands off of me.
I was enjoying everything, and I want to go further. But I still have this voice in the back of my head saying I’ll disappoint him.
I’m not afraid of him hurting me anymore. I’m afraid of him wanting someone else because I’m not like the other girls he’s used to.
“I’m sorry. Can we just go back to cuddling?” I say, trying to avoid eye contact.
“Do you want to talk?” he asks, as if reading my thoughts.
“I’m just not ready for that next step,” I admit.
“Like I said earlier, you’re in control,” he says, pulling me into his arms.
I always feel safe with Dustin. Like nothing can hurt me while I’m in his arms.
I stretch my arms above my head before pulling my hands down over my face. I slept amazing last night. Glancing over at the clock, I’m shocked that for once I actually slept in.
I sit up suddenly, my heart rate spiking. Why hasn’t Olivia come in yet? Is she okay? I hear giggling and a deep voice, and I sigh in relief.
Dustin spent the night, and he got up with my little one so I could sleep more. A girl could get used to this.
Walking into the living room, I fight back a laugh when I see Dustin in a tutu and wearing a tiara. Olivia loves playing dress-up, and it looks like she’s convinced her favorite man to dress up with her.
I quickly snap a picture and send it to Kyle. I hope he can use it for a prank on Dustin. I still feel bad for that poor girl who got caught in the crossfire of their bromance prank-off.
“Mommy!” Olivia yells.
When Dustin turns to me, his smile is megawatt-wide.
“Did you sleep well?” he asks, standing to come over to me.
He places a kiss on my cheek, and I melt a little.
“Very well. Thanks for letting me sleep in,” I tell him.
“Anytime. Olivia and I are having a lot of fun. Isn’t that right, my queen?” he says, turning to Olivia.
She bows, and I giggle.
“Looks like it. I really like this new look. I think you should incorporate this into your stage presence.”
He wiggles his eyebrows at me. “Yeah? I think girls would like me in just a tutu.”
I frown. I know his job is about making the crowd happy, but the thought of girls wanting him turns my stomach.
“Hey,” Dustin says putting his hand under my chin and lifting my face, “I was just joking. I don’t give a shit about any girls except the two in this house.”
I smile at him. “I’m sorry. It’s going to take some getting used to. I didn’t think I was the jealous type, but I guess I am.”
He smiles and puts his hands on my hips.
“It’s kind of hot,” he whispers into my ear.
I giggle and push him away.
“Have you guys had breakfast?”
Olivia nods very enthusiastically. “Duddy made pamcakes.”
I gasp and place my hand on my chest. “And you didn’t save any for me?”
She shakes her head with a smile on her face. “Nope! I ate them all.”
I giggle and pick her up, spinning her around.
“How rude,” I tell her, but she’s laughing so loud I’m sure she didn’t even hear me.
“Do you want me to make you some?” Dustin asks, and I shake my head.
“I’m good with coffee and a muffin. Please tell me there’s coffee.”
He chuckles. “Oh, yeah. I know how you get without your coffee.”
I push him and go to the kitchen. This morning feels perfect. Could this be what every morning feels like? I shake my head. I can’t get ahead of myself. This is new. I don’t know what the future holds. I just need to take it one day at a time.
Dustin comes up behind me while I’m pouring my coffee.
“Do you guys want to go somewhere today? Or just stay in?”
“Why don’t we just stay in? I want you all to myself today, and Olivia loves playing with you. I’m still not sure what life out in the public eye is going to be like. Let’s just take it slow.”
He kisses my neck and a shiver runs down my spine. My body clearly wants him. Like right now. But my brain is telling me to take it slow. My heart doesn’t know what the hell it wants.
“Slow it is,” he whispers, giving me one more kiss before going back to play with Olivia.
I love that Dustin never pressures me. He’s letting me take control and steer this relationship. He makes me happy. Makes me believe that I can be successful and find love.
“You look extra happy today. What did you do this weekend?” Maribelle asks, giving me the once over.
“Not a lot. Just hung out at home,” I tell her, handing her a coffee.
“Mm-hmm. I’ll let that answer slide for now. You’ve been coming in to work happier and happier and I need answers. Right now, however, you have to get to the hospital. But we’ll talk about this later.”
I give her a funny look. “Why do I have to get to the hospital?”
“Because Leah is in labor!” she shrieks, doing a happy dance.
“How come I’m just finding out now?” I ask, wondering why she didn’t text me.
“Because she was literally just here when her water broke. We knew you would be in soon, so I told her I would send you right away when you got here. She left maybe five minutes ago.”
“Are you sure she wants me there?” I ask, wondering if maybe she just wants time alone with Johnny.
She smiles and laughs. “Yes! Now go.”
I bounce up and down again and head back toward the elevator. I can’t wait to meet my new niece or nephew.
“You did this to me!” Leah yells at Johnny.
I fight back a giggle.
“You’ve got this, honey,” he tells her.
She growls at him.
“Are you guys sure you want me here? I can just come back when the baby is born.” I feel a little awkward being the third wheel in this situation.
“Don’t you dare leave me with him!” she shouts at me.
I nod. No need to piss off the woman in labor. I grab some ice chips off the table and hand them to her.
“I’m not going anywhere, but I have to figure out where Olivia is going. Katerina is only supposed to stay until three today,” I tell her before escaping from the room for a couple of minutes.
I pull out my phone, thinking of who to text.
Normally, I would text Tia, but the only reason she isn’t here is because the twins have the flu, and she thinks she might be coming down with it also. The last thing anyone wants is to get a newborn sick. So, she is staying away.
I’d ask Shae, but I know things are rocky with her and Karl, and I don’t want to throw another kid on her.
I finally decide to text Dustin.
Me: What are you up to tonight?
Dustin: Not much. What’s up?
Me: Leah is in labor and wants me to stay. Can you go over to my house and spend time with Olivia? Katerina has yoga every Monday, and I don’t want her to miss it.
Dustin: I’ll be there. What time?
Me: I usually get home at 3. Does that work for you?
Dustin: I’ll make it work. Text me when the baby is born.
Me: Will do.
Dustin has looked after Olivia on his own before, so I’m not worried. And if he wants to be her father like he says he does, this is going to be something that will happen from time to time. I still feel guilty asking him to look after her, though.