Protagonized

by Shannon Myers

  “Don’t. It’s better if we don’t say anything. You belong in your world and I belong here…” My voice broke with a sob. “I belong here, with Bootsy.”

  Jake sniffed and looked away. “Right. Can I at least have a hug before I go?”

  I nodded and let myself be held by him. A torrent of tears ran down my face as I reminded him, “Now, don’t forget to do your daily yoga or you’ll be all stooped over again. I packed you some crystal spray—it’s just a little travel-sized bottle, so it doesn’t take up much room. Oh, and I added a piece of black tourmaline for protection.”

  His arms tightened around me and his chest vibrated with a soft laugh. “I think you’ve got my spiritual needs covered. Anything else?”

  I could feel his shirt growing wet beneath my cheek, but I couldn’t stop the tears. My body was purging my grief the only way it knew how. “Um, wear your glasses more. They make you look sexy as fuck. And maybe a hat—I bet you’d look really nice with a hat.”

  Really distinguished.

  I was never going to see it. I mashed my lips together and brought my fist up to stifle the sobbing.

  “Hayden.” Jake brushed the hair out of my face. “Look at me.”

  “I can’t,” I said with a sharp gasp. I was going to start hyperventilating any minute now. My nose was a snotty mess and my throat ached like I was choking on something.

  And maybe I was.

  “Alright. Just give me five minutes, okay?” Jake abruptly let me go, grabbed his duffel bag, and walked out.

  That was it?

  No kiss goodbye?

  I stood shell-shocked. Even Bootsy let out a yowl of anguish and batted frantically at the doorknob.

  “He’s, he’s gone.” I sank down to my knees and released the floodgates again.

  I couldn’t fall apart.

  Not now.

  I promised him the ending he deserved. I forced myself up and over to my desk, gulping for air like a drowning person.

  I opened a new document. I had to get the words out before they suffocated me and Bootsy was forced to eat my corpse to survive.

  They say you get one great love in your life. Well, Jake was mine.

  It was a start, but I had a feeling that I could write volumes on my love for Jake and it wouldn’t even begin to scratch the surface. My feelings for him would be pouring out of me for years to come.

  I’d just reopened the Detective Hopkins novel when the door burst open. Bootsy hissed in surprise and bolted for the bedroom.

  Jake stood, wild-eyed and covered in snow. “I’ve been trying to figure out why you left me the morning after we had sex and I came to the conclusion that it was because you didn’t feel the same way. And I was going to leave it, but I can’t. I can’t leave until you know how I feel.”

  I opened my mouth, but he stopped me. “Please. I need you to just listen to me before you say anything.”

  He took a deep breath. “Your eyes scrunch up when you smile like they’re competing with your mouth and it’s so fucking adorable that I find myself looking for ways to make it happen again. You’ll lie to people to protect their feelings, even if it means sacrificing your own. You have a big heart, Hayden. You give yourself to people, even assholes like me who don’t deserve it. You and your damn cat are bat shit crazy, but I want to take care of you both.” He held his hand up as I opened my mouth again. “I know you can take care of yourself, but I want to do it just the same.

  “Your coffee is really just cream with a splash of coffee and you love a good bowl of kid’s cereal, dry, to snack on while you write. You hum, you hum rap songs—mostly Nicki Minaj, but I’ve definitely heard some Lil Kim in there. I don’t even know if you realize you’re doing it; you’re usually lost in thought.”

  He paused before exclaiming, “Oh, when you eat olives off a toothpick, you do this shoulder shimmy thing, like nothing in the world could ever make you happier. See, you knew everything about me from the beginning. It put me at a disadvantage, so I decided I was going to learn everything I could about you. I just never planned on it working out like this.” Jake stood by the door, out of breath and with all of his cards on the table.

  My mouth went dry and the tears stopped as he described a me that even I didn’t recognize. “What are you saying?”

  Jake walked over and knelt down in front of me, dwarfing my hands with his. “I’m saying that I love you, Hayden. And, let’s be honest, I never would’ve survived that fall.”

  He loved me.

  And I loved him.

  We were going to move out of the city together and start our own cat sanctuary. They would interview us on the Today show and we’d tell the story of how we fell in love—well, maybe not the entire story. Parts of it were pretty unbelievable. Maybe I’d rewrite our love story for the people who asked. We fell in love while doing volunteer work at the animal shelter and decided to start our own no-kill shelter where we rehabilitated cats and adopted them out.

  Now, what would we call it?

  The Purrfect Pet?

  Meow is the time?

  Feline fine?

  “Hayden?” Jake waved a hand in front of my face. “Can I get a response?”

  I nodded and grinned. “I think we should go with the Purrfect Pet. We can add rescue at the end if you think it sounds too much like a pet store.”

  His brows drew together. “What the fuck are you talking about? I pour my heart out and tell you that I love you and you’re talking about a pet rescue?”

  I might’ve jumped ahead a little too far.

  “Oh, obviously I love you too!” I threw my arms around his neck. “So, this means you’re staying?”

  Jake placed a hand on either side of my face. “Seriously, were you not listening to a damn thing I said?”

  I frowned. “Don’t get all grumpy. You just said all those nice things about me.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m thinking of taking a few of them back. You were already imagining us starting our own pet rescue, weren’t you? Did Kathie Lee interview you in your daydream too?”

  “Well, you interrupted before I got to that part,” I grumbled.

  “It’s a damn good thing I love you, you little psycho,” he laughed and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

  Epilogue

  Jake

  “They’re going to be here any second, are you almost ready?” Hayden asked, with a sly smirk.

  Detective Jake Hopkins couldn’t believe that this was his life. In his wildest fantasies, he never imagined that one year later, he’d be living with the woman of his dreams, running their cat sanctuary, Purrfect Pet Rescue Co.

  He fastened the jingling bell collar around his neck and took a long look in the mirror. He had to admit, it looked pretty damn good on him. The silver bells really completed the ensemble.

  Who would’ve ever known that falling thirty stories would be the best thing to ever happen to him?

  Jake never planned on dressing up like a cat, but when your pint-sized princess of a girlfriend was a USA Today, New York Times, and Wall Street Journal bestseller, you did what she asked. Plus, they needed a Christmas card that really captured who they were as a couple.

  After pictures, they were going to meet Aaris and Max for an early dinner before getting back out to the sanctuary to tend to their nineteen beloved cats: Bootsy, Gypsy, Leaf, Mr. Winkles, Giblet, Naughty, Donna Lynn, Jemimer, Tigger, Jake Jr., Ginger, LaLa, Poppy, Alfie, Dusk Meowrley, Cathulhu, Purrgie, Kitty Prrryde, and Tabbytha King.

  The cats would gather around for their nightly bedtime story and asanas before being tucked into the soft blankets that he’d woven for them on his loom.

  Afterward, Jake had plans of laying Hayden down on the handwoven silk rug in front of the fireplace before making sweet, sweet love to her.

  After all, they were celebrating.

  Hayden Michaels, the Indie author who had turned down multiple offers from a variety of agents, had sold her latest Detective Hopkins novel to Stephen Spielberg.
It only made sense after he’d made her last three books mega-blockbuster hits.

  Her parents had choked with envy at her massive success and begged to be a part of her life, even offering to take over litter box duty at the sanctuary to make up for all the years they didn’t believe in her.

  Reid left his job as CEO of Genetistry to become her personal assistant after realizing that he owed his very life to Hayden and her quick-thinking actions with the Emily situation.

  All in all, Jake thought that their lives had worked out perfectly.

  Holy shit.

  No.

  None of that was real.

  Jesus Christ, the things I ran across while using Hayden’s laptop. This one had been titled, Plot Ideas. Usually, she stuck to inane things, like Bootsy finding the love of her nine lives on a nearby balcony.

  And ‘pint-sized princess of a girlfriend?’

  Try pixie from Hell.

  I realized early on, that the longer I was here, the weaker her control over me became. A year in and I’d become immune to anything she tried—and thank Christ for that with these kinds of ideas floating around in her head.

  Life for us had remained relatively unchanged for the past year, despite the fictional world that Hayden seemed to reside in, which was a nice change of pace for me.

  While Angel of Death hadn’t become a global phenomenon, it had sold more copies its first week than One in the Chamber did in its entire run.

  So maybe The Janice Morrison Agency had decided to stand by their decision to pass up Hayden’s work; her readers had gone crazy over the direction the books had gone. Jessa had eclipsed me in popularity, but given what I had now, I wasn’t all that upset about being upstaged.

  The front door opened, letting in a frigid blast of air. “Hey,” Hayden greeted me breathlessly and dusted the snow from her coat. “It’s really coming down out there.”

  “Yeah?” I tapped the mouse, exiting out the document as she walked over and climbed into my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck, sending bits of ice down the back of my sweater.

  “What are you doing?” Her eyes narrowed at the blank screen.

  “Nothing. Just waiting on you.” I tilted her face toward mine and struggled to bring her lips down to meet mine. Unfortunately, she was on to me and jutted her chin up defiantly at the last second.

  “You’re acting weird—”

  Did I say pixie from Hell? I meant hellhound. The woman could sniff my bullshit from a mile away.

  I went for casual in an attempt to throw her off. “Hey, baby. How was your day? Mine was great, thanks for asking.”

  The furrow between her eyebrows disappeared, and she relaxed against my chest. “Hey lover, my day was wonderful. I sold so much shampoo. How was yours?”

  This was it.

  I wiped a damp palm against my thigh and shifted her to the side so I could reach the desk. “I—well, I wrote a book and I’d like to read it to you; just to see if it’s any good, you know?”

  Her mouth stretched into a grin and her teeth sank into her lower lip. “You wrote a book? Like a whole book? When did you get off work?”

  I shrugged. “I had a couple of hours to kill. You writers make it seem like the process takes months.”

  Hayden rolled her eyes. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.”

  I took a deep breath. “Okay, but you have to sit on the chair. I don’t want you getting bored and trying to skip ahead by reading over my shoulder.”

  I smacked her ass as she stood up and her lip twitched as she fought a smile. She drew her knees up under her chin and adjusted her glasses with a skeptical grin. “The floor’s all yours, Detective.”

  Maybe Pixie from Hell had been an overstatement.

  I turned the laptop screen toward me. “Okay. So, a writer once told me that the best way to capture a character was by making a list of all the things the world would never know about him or her.”

  “Wait,” Hayden interjected. “What’s the title of this story?”

  “It doesn’t have one. It’s not important. Can I continue?”

  She nodded and I took another deep breath in an attempt to calm my racing heart. “Said writer was completely insane, but she had a good point when it came to character development. But, some characters have their secrets locked up so tightly that even the best writers can’t crack the code. Here were the things that Hayden Michaels would never know about Jake Hopkins.”

  I glanced up to meet her raised eyebrows and forced myself to continue before I chickened out completely. “Despite what I may have told her in the past, I actually look forward to seeing what the cat shirt of the day is going to be—”

  “I knew it!” She grinned triumphantly and raised her fist in the air.

  I shook my head. “I’ve seen the #Planal video and read the Twitter thread more times than I can count. I find if my day’s going to shit, nothing cheers me up more than knowing my girlfriend spent an entire flight discussing her fear of anal with a complete stranger. A fear that, quite frankly, surprises the hell out me with as eager as she is to—”

  “Skip that part,” Hayden choked out through the hands covering her face. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you know about that!”

  I chuckled and continued reading. “I speak fluent Spanish, French, German, and Italian. I find I use them most, not when I’m on the job, but when she’s lying naked beneath me. I’m convinced that she thinks it’s gibberish as I describe all the things I want to do to her in four separate languages.”

  The hands covering her face moved down to reveal her wide eyes as she whispered, “Jake…”

  “I found a fail-proof way for her to bring me back into the story by the end of our first week together, but kept it to myself in a half-cocked scheme to get closer to her.”

  Her mouth fell open in shock and I fought back the smug grin that was threatening to take over. There were still things she hadn’t known about me. It felt damn good. “I’d already interviewed and accepted a job offer with the city’s police department before she was halfway finished with Angel of Death.”

  “You did? Why didn’t you tell me? You kept acting like you were so ready to get back to your story!”

  I sighed. “I didn’t think you felt the same way and I’d already fucked up your life by showing up and demanding you fix the story that it didn’t seem fair to say I’d changed my mind. But god did I hope that you would.”

  She pressed a fist to her mouth and nodded.

  “I fell in love with her gradually and I can’t even pinpoint the moment it happened. I just knew one morning when I woke up on her couch that she was it for me. Anytime she asked though, I told her it was the first time I saw her naked. You know, just so I could watch her face turn red with embarrassment.” My arms went numb and I stood up unsteadily. “Bootsy.” My voice cracked, and I coughed to hide it.

  Hayden frowned. “Babe, what are you doing?”

  “Bootsy, here girl,” I tried again. I’d practiced this for over a month with her. She knew her cue and everything.

  “Sweetie,” she tried again. “Cats don’t come when they’re called or really do anything that you want them to.”

  I gave up and went into the bedroom to find her curled up on the foot of the bed, her tail flicking back and forth lazily.

  Goddammit.

  Would there ever be a day when the females in this apartment listened to me?

  I scooped her up and carried her back out into the living room while she purred happily up against my chest. “Okay, slight delay. We’re back and everything’s fine.”

  “You’re acting weird again,” she noted dryly.

  I nodded, the blood roaring in my ears. “Yeah, but I have a point and I am going to get to it right now. Um.” I cleared my throat. “For the last two weeks, next to the black tourmaline and jet in my pocket, I’ve been carrying around a ring, trying to work up the courage to ask my girl a pretty important question.”

  Both hands came up to her mouth an
d she began shaking her head back and forth. “What? No. You’re lying to me.”

  I grinned and dropped to one knee before presenting Bootsy to her. “Check her collar, babe.” My voice had gone all husky on me like I was the one about to cry, which was… fairly accurate, actually.

  Her small fingers fumbled against the collar and she sucked in a startled gasp when she found the ring, nestled in next to Bootsy’s ID tags.

  I undid the collar and slipped the ring onto her finger. Bootsy watched us with a bored expression.

  “Hayden, will you—” I began.

  “Oh, hell yes.” She gently set Bootsy down on the carpet before launching herself into my arms, sending us both sprawling back onto the carpet. This time there was no resistance as I guided her mouth down over mine.

  A thirty-story fall and a writer who was a little too obsessed with cats. It didn’t sound like the makings of some great love story, yet I’d found my happily ever after right here in her arms.

  Fuck, that was awful.

  I had to lose everything to find the love of my life…

  Nope.

  Who could’ve predicted that my life would be this good after getting thrown off of a thirty-story building?

  Now I sounded like her.

  Looked like I was going to have to stick with my original ending.

  I came here, certain of what I wanted. Absolute in what would make me happy. And then I met her and found that I’d never been more wrong. My ma always joked that the right woman would be the one to keep me on my toes.

  Well, I’d been walking a fucking tightrope since the day I met her.

  She wasn’t the ending I’d planned, but she was without a doubt, the one I needed.

  The end.

  Want to know who pushed Jake to his death? Keep reading for a sneak peek of Detective Hopkins: Angel of Death. This novella will be released March 7, 2019 for just 99 cents!

  After the sneak peek of Angel of Death, I’ve included a special surprise— an extended sneak peek of my book, Operation Fit-ish. Love quirky heroines? Then you do not want to miss Dakota’s story.