The Princess Who Flew with Dragons

by Stephanie Burgis

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I mumbled. Shame gushed sickeningly through my skin, flushing me hot and cold in turn. I took a step backwards. ‘I shouldn’t have complained. I just –’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘that is not what I’m saying. My point is, I didn’t know how to do that either! I’m trying my best, Sofia. But when it comes to raising you …’ Her lovely face sagged. ‘Apparently I always get it wrong. It seems to be inevitable.’

  She gave a bitter shrug as I stared at her, stunned speechless.

  ‘I tried to teach you to shield yourself, to make you strong,’ she said, ‘and it made you think I didn’t care about you. I pushed you to escape the walls of our palace, and you thought I was throwing you away!’ Her laugh sounded unbearably sad. ‘I think we can both agree I’m hardly doing a perfect job of raising you.’

  ‘You were right, though,’ I said. ‘You shouldn’t have to be doing it.’

  ‘But I want to,’ she said. ‘Can’t you see?’ Slowly, she took a single step towards me. Tentatively, she lifted one hand. ‘You’re my sister, Sofia. Doesn’t that mean anything to you any more?’

  I let out a choked laugh. ‘Why do you think I just flew across the world on dragon-back?’

  I didn’t realise I had lifted my own hand. But suddenly, our fingers were touching in a butterfly-light connection. The slightest movement would have been enough for either of us to break the hold.

  I kept my hand exactly where it was. Her fingers were longer and slimmer than mine, and they felt icy cold.

  Jasper would never give up on his family. And I remembered the agony on Fedolia’s face. ‘Wouldn’t you do anything to get your family back?’

  Her family had broken because they’d refused to forgive her.

  I couldn’t bear for us to do the same.

  Slowly, I closed my hand around hers.

  Then I took a deep breath.

  ‘I can’t stand being manipulated any more,’ I told her. ‘I hate it when you trick me into doing things. I don’t care if you’re doing it for my own good! It makes me feel small and stupid and useless, and you have to stop.’

  Her face tightened. She breathed in and then out through her nose without speaking. Finally, she opened her mouth and said, ‘I understand. But if you don’t want me to trick you, Sofia, you have to actually do the work I ask. Help me run our kingdom. Don’t make it even harder.’

  I wanted to snarl in self-defence. But I held my breath, counted through my first, instinctive pulse of anger … and let it go.

  ‘I’ll try.’

  ‘Then so will I.’ She turned her hand in mine to squeeze my fingers.

  We weren’t the kind of family that did hugging or kissing. But a warm glow emanated down my arm from the point where our hands held each other.

  Then realisation hit.

  ‘Wait.’ I gasped, dropping her hand. ‘Wait a minute!’

  All that talking about how she’d manipulated me for my own good …

  ‘Those houses I’m building on the riverbank,’ I breathed. ‘They were never in any danger, were they? That was just your way of tricking me into flying to Villenne!’

  ‘We-e-ell …’ Katrin winced. ‘I wasn’t being untruthful exactly. The merchants weren’t pleased about those new constructions –’

  ‘But you’d never let them tell us what to do,’ I said, ‘so you talked them around, the way you always do … and then tricked me into thinking I had no choice but to fly with a dragon!’

  ‘I had no choice!’ Katrin said passionately. ‘You were hiding in your room! You’d barely left it for months! How else was I supposed to pry you out of your tortoiseshell?’

  My lips opened to shoot back a furious retort … and a sudden flurry of snowflakes gusted into my mouth. I gagged, coughed, spat them out …

  And let out a spurt of laughter as I looked at the snowy landscape around us and the hulking giants I had actually forgotten in the heat of our argument.

  ‘Does it look like I’m hiding in a shell?’ I asked my sister.

  ‘Not any more.’ She gave me a catlike smile of satisfaction. ‘I really do know what’s best for you, don’t I?’

  ‘Ha.’ I narrowed my eyes at her. ‘Well, I know that a lie of omission, intended to deceive, is just as unethical as a statement of mistruth.’

  Katrin sighed. ‘I should never have let you buy all of those philosophy books, should I?’

  ‘Too late now,’ I told her happily, as we started back towards my friends. ‘And you’ll have plenty of time to listen to us explain every one of those books to you on our way back to Drachenburg. It’ll be the perfect punishment!’

  CHAPTER 27

  I couldn’t believe Katrin made us stop to visit the Diamond Exhibition on our way back home. But it wasn’t only the exhibition that we visited. We swanned through every glittering soirée at the white palace in Villenne, dressed in the finest gowns our ladies-in-waiting had packed for us.

  Katrin charmed everyone we met, as usual; I smiled fiercely at her side; and every time another royal made passing conversation with either of us, they were reminded of exactly which kingdom had saved them all from the ice giants’ prison.

  It was remarkable just how many new alliances we would take with us back to Drachenburg after all … and because I was trying to help my sister, I kept my mouth clamped shut throughout every tedious courtly evening, resigning myself to my royal duty.

  On the fifth morning of our stay in Villenne, though, I woke to find my sister nudging my shoulder, with Fedolia smirking mischievously by her side. It was barely light outside the windows of my luxurious palace bedroom, but Katrin was already fully dressed in a plain dark cotton gown that I’d never seen on her before.

  ‘Hurry!’ she whispered. ‘We have to leave early to avoid being seen.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I peered groggily up at her, blinking sleep crust from my eyes. ‘We’re always seen. That’s the whole point of this visit, isn’t it?’

  ‘Not today.’ Katrin looked suddenly years younger as she gave me a mischievous grin. ‘This morning, the princesses are both sadly indisposed … because I want you two to show me the university district.’

  My eyes shot wide open. ‘You do?’

  Fedolia nodded confidently. ‘Don’t worry,’ she told my sister. ‘Sofi and I can show you all the best places to go!’

  And we did.

  That was how I ended up in the underground coffee house four hours later with my elegant, perfect older sister sitting across from me. Her legs were tucked beneath her on a lumpy cushion, her fingers were wrapped around a bowl of hot coffee, and her expression was rapt as she listened to old Abjörn the troll – no longer sleeping – tell the whole coffee house how he’d turned vegetarian during his epic, thirty-year dream.

  Sitting there with my two worlds blended together felt like a wild and unlikely dream itself. I kept waiting to wake up – or for Katrin to surge to her feet and demand that we leave before her dignity could be compromised.

  But Katrin wasn’t wearing her royal clothes today. She had wandered around Scholars’ Island in a student robe with a distant, thoughtful look on her face. She had watched students her own age sprawl across the grass, and she had glanced into crowded lecture halls with what looked like wistfulness in her eyes. She didn’t seem in any hurry to emerge from our shared escape …

  And shrieks of raucous delight sounded behind us as Talvikki, Hannalena and Berrit tumbled down the stairs into the room.

  ‘Sofi!’ Talvikki reached me first and flung her strong green arms around me while the other two flocked around Fedolia. ‘You survived – and you came back! Are you here to stay?’

  Katrin turned to listen to my answer. But I didn’t glimpse any hint of rebuke in her expression, only rueful sympathy. We both knew what I had to say. It had made every moment of today bittersweet and almost unbearably special.

  Throughout every minute I’d spent walking around the big, ivy-covered brick buildings of Scholars’ Island t
hat morning, and then sitting in this dimly lit underground haven, soaking in all the extraordinary sights and sounds, I had known this would have to be my final visit. I had responsibilities waiting for me back home. I wasn’t going to hide from them any more – not in my bedroom and not in a lecture hall in Villenne either.

  I’d always known that Scholars’ Island was an impossible dream for me. But it felt startlingly right to share this final visit with my sister, who understood that dream better than I ever could have imagined.

  ‘No,’ I said to Talvikki as I hugged her back with all my might. ‘We’re only free from the palace for one day. But you can all come to Drachenburg any time to visit or to stay for good – can’t they, Katrin?’

  My sister nodded, her gaze clear. ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘My sister’s friends will always be welcome in our home – and you might let others know as well: Drachenheim is always looking for clever, hard-working immigrants to add their own unique strengths to our kingdom.’

  ‘We-e-ell …’ Talvikki grimaced apologetically as she traded a sceptical glance with the other goblin girls. ‘We do appreciate the offer – but a city without a university? And isn’t Drachenburg only half the size of Villenne – or less?’

  Katrin’s eyes narrowed dangerously. ‘You might be surprised by some of the changes coming to Drachenburg.’

  Hmm. I suspected that the nobles and merchants who ran our city would be even more surprised – because I knew that look on my sister’s face. I wasn’t the only one who’d soaked in new information and ideas from the outside world.

  Drachenburg had no idea what was about to hit it.

  If she was thinking of founding a new university, I would make certain that dragons and goblins and kobolds were allowed as students … oh, and princesses too, if their kobold friends kept them safely invisible whenever they sat in on philosophy lectures. We might even be able to persuade Gert van Heidecker to come and work there too, once the stuffy king of Valmarna finally let him out of prison.

  It was good to start coming up with possible dreams for the future, to begin to replace the old, impossible ones.

  But it hurt horribly to wave goodbye to Talvikki, Hannalena and Berrit an hour later. They were heading off on another wild adventure, planning to explore a newly discovered cave system under one of Villenne’s furthest islands, and they planned to camp there overnight. I could already imagine just how much fun they would all have.

  Fedolia was going with them too, for one last expedition with her own first friends, although she would rejoin me and Katrin in the next day or two.

  As the whole group disappeared up the staircase, their shriek-laughing energy vanished with them, leaving the coffee house feeling strangely quiet by comparison … and horribly flat.

  Katrin looked at me across the makeshift table. A candle stub guttered between us in its tarnished brass candleholder.

  ‘Is there anything else you’d like to show me?’ she asked gently.

  I took one last look around the long, dark room that had been my sanctuary – from the glowing blue-and-green moss on the walls to the goblin owners leaping fluidly up and down the shelves – and sighed.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘I think it’s time to go back.’

  We didn’t have Fedolia to make us invisible on the long walk back. Jasper couldn’t be with us either. He and his mother had already flown south to reassure their dangerous family that they didn’t need rescuing after all. We’d barely even had a chance to say goodbye once we’d reached Villenne and he’d dropped us off at the palace.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ he’d whispered as I’d slid off his back. ‘I’m not letting myself be cooped up in the family cave again. We’ll see each other very soon.’

  From the glint of determination in his eyes, I knew he meant it – and I knew he’d do it too. Jasper had more strength than any of his family realised.

  From the fierce look on his mother’s face, though, it might be months before he won that particular battle. Even when he did come, it wouldn’t be the same.

  Everything about my holiday was coming to an end.

  My feet dragged as Katrin and I walked side by side down the crowded streets, shielded from notice by our plain student robes. The people around us turned into a humming blur of background, colour and noise washing over me as I trudged back towards reality.

  Back home, I would never again be allowed so close to outsiders. I would ride through the city in our gilded, protected carriage, with glass windows and armed outriders keeping a constant wall between me and everyone else on the streets.

  But I wouldn’t forget what it felt like to share those streets. Not ever.

  The guards at the doors of the white palace stared when they saw us walking towards them, but I didn’t have the energy to think up any excuse for our outlandish outfits. My sister didn’t bother to offer any. She only nodded graciously and waited for them to hold the doors open … which, after a flabbergasted moment, they did.

  Almost there.

  Ten minutes later, we were stepping through the front door of our luxurious guest suite, and I was counting down the steps until I could finally reach my bed and a comforting cup of hot chocolate …

  When an unexpected sound suddenly broke through the air.

  ‘Miaow!’

  I spun around.

  The door to my bedroom was closed, but something – someone! – was scratching at it madly from the other side.

  ‘Miaow!’

  Lena and Anja came running from their room, their faces pink and suffused with excitement.

  ‘Aren’t you going to open your door?’ Anja demanded. ‘We’ve spent days searching for him! He’s been waiting for you for hours!’

  He? My lips formed the word, but I couldn’t speak it out loud. I didn’t dare.

  ‘Oh, for goodness sake.’ Ulrike heaved a put-upon sigh and rose from the couch where she’d been embroidering. A covert smile tugged at her lips as she stalked to the door. She turned the handle herself, giving me a sidelong glance.

  The door swung open …

  And a brown-and-gold blur shot out of it, leaping straight towards me.

  ‘Ahh!’ Katrin let out an unladylike yelp of surprise. ‘Sofia, what –?’

  But I couldn’t answer.

  My cat had landed in my arms, and he was purring and purring, rubbing his big, soft head against the underside of my chin and scrambling up my chest uncontrollably. He draped himself around my neck like a velvety wrap of warmth and love, nuzzling my face again and again as I whispered, ‘It’s you, it’s you. It’s really you!’

  I didn’t even realise I was crying until Ulrike, tsking, passed me a silk handkerchief. It was perfectly pleated, of course.

  When I finally looked up after blowing my nose, I found everyone gathered around me: Lena and Anja, Ulrike and Katrin, and Jurgen and Konrad too, beaming with pride.

  ‘We’ve all been out hunting for him,’ Anja explained to my sister. ‘He never had a real home of his own, you see, so –’

  ‘He does now,’ I said thickly. Tears clogged my throat and nose, but my cat’s steady purr resonated through me, and I kept one hand buried in his thick fur as I looked to my sister. ‘You said all of my friends were welcome in our home – remember, Katrin?’

  My sister looked at me for a long moment, as my cat rubbed his soft face against mine again and again. Then she sighed and shook her head in resignation. ‘What do you call him? I ought to know how to address him if you’re really planning to add him to your household as well.’

  ‘He doesn’t have a name yet,’ I told her, ‘but …’

  I looked at everyone around me. All of them were watching me and my purring, nuzzling cat with open pride shining on their faces.

  I hadn’t chosen any of my attendants for myself. I’d spent years feeling bitter about that – and punishing them for it too, by shutting all of them out from my heart and my mind. But they’d been there for me anyway, through thick and thin, through cannonba
lls and dragon flights.

  Some good things really did have to come to an end. But others – if I worked hard for them – might be just beginning. I looked, one by one, at each of my attendants and guards, who might one day – if I was lucky – become true friends.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said softly. ‘Thank you. Thank you.’

  Finally, I turned back to my sister as my cat nestled his head against my hair and purred deafeningly into my ears, wrapping his fluffy tail around me.

  ‘I think we should all choose a name for him together,’ I said, ‘on our way back home.’

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Thank you so much to my intrepid beta-readers, Patrick Samphire, Rene Sears, Aliette de Bodard, Tiffany Trent and Jenn Reese.

  Thank you to Tricia Sullivan for organising the perfectly timed retreat that helped me figure out the right way to write this book, and thank you to Trish, Justina Robson and Freda Warrington for an amazing experience full of support, encouragement and really fabulous chocolate tarts.

  Thank you to Jamie Samphire for asking me to read this book as his bedtime story as I wrote it and for always asking for more. Your encouragement made such a difference to me!

  Thank you to Molly Ker Hawn for being the best negotiating partner any writer could ever have (and a rock of emotional support and good advice too).

  Thank you to Patrick Samphire for patiently reading every single draft of this book’s opening and giving excellent feedback every time.

  Thank you to Ellen Holgate and Sarah Shumway for caring about my characters and wanting more stories in this world. Thank you to Ellen and to Lucy Mackay-Sim for the thoughtful structural edits that helped me strengthen this book. Thank you to Madeleine Stevens for sensitive and helpful copy-editing, and to Fliss Stevens for beautifully managing the final editorial stages.

  Thank you to all of the philosophers who responded to my cry for help on Facebook with such thoughtful, fascinating responses: Ian Balzer, Dr Ben Burgis, Dr Bree Morton, Dr Jennifer Burgis, Steven Barker, Annalise Harrison, Kaleb Earl and Alexandra Roumbas Goldstein. (And thanks to Jasmine Stairs for helping me gather many of those responses!) I really appreciated all of them.