by Harlow James
“Good, Chloe. I’m glad. I know you’re scared, but it’s important to be prepared, I am sure Silas appreciates that too.”
“It’s terrifying to read about the things that are happening to my body and what could happen, you guys. Like, did you know that I could shit myself during labor?”
Both of their faces scrunch up. “Ew!”
“Yup. Just what I need…a room full of people staring down at my who-ha while I drop a deuce.”
Shayla snorts. “Jesus. Well, what did Silas say when he saw you?”
“First he scared the shit out of me and made me spill my coffee on myself. Then I stripped my shirt off in front of him, flashing him my out-of-control breasts while doing so. Seriously, look at these things!” I point down to my boobs that are popping out of my shirt. Time to go bra shopping. “Then we stood there and had a conversation while both of us were topless.”
“Oh my God. And he didn’t do anything?”
I shake my head. “Nope, and believe me, my body wanted him to. But he actually turned away from me.”
“What?” Waverly stares at me confused. “He obviously wants you. Anyone with eyes could see that.”
“I thought so too, but he almost looked like he was in pain standing with me like that. I’m telling you, you guys…Silas has no intention of being involved with me beyond having this kid together. And I’m beginning to think it’s just better this way.”
“No, I’m still calling bullshit. If he looked like he was in pain, he was fighting it, Chloe.”
“Well, he did have a boner. And called my tits perfect.”
She snaps her fingers enthusiastically. “Exactly. That man wants you.”
“He’s so confusing. One minute we’re talking about the baby, the next he’s joking around with me and offering me his sour gummy worms. Then he’ll barely say two words to me when he gets home and walks straight out into his shop in the backyard and I won’t see him for days.”
“He has a shop? What does he do out there?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I have no fucking clue. Watch porn and drink beer?”
Waverly shakes her head. “That doesn’t sound like Silas.”
“Whatever it is, he’s super private about it.”
“He’s just closed off. Always has been according to Wes,” Shayla offers. “But I’m telling you, it’s only a matter of time before he gives in to what’s going on between the two of you.”
“This is so messy, you guys. I mean, do I want to fuck Silas again? Absolutely, especially with the way my hormones are fluctuating. But isn’t that going to make our situation even messier?”
“That’s just a risk you’re going to have to take,” Shayla says. “But it could be worth it. I mean, look at us.” She flicks her thumb back and forth between herself and Waverly. “We gave Wes and Hayes a shot, and it wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth it.”
“I don’t know. I’m supposed to meet his family this weekend. That’s a big deal.”
“Are you nervous?”
“Hell yeah, I’m nervous. Silas thinks I’ll fit right in, but what if they don’t like me? Or keep asking why we aren’t together? This is the kind of shit I always hear people complaining about regarding their families and on one hand, almost considered myself lucky I didn’t have to deal with it.”
“That’s none of their business,” Waverly declares. “But you have to at least get to know them—not only for you, but for Silas.”
“I think the big question is, what do you want to happen between the two of you, Chloe?” Shayla prods and my heart races from her question.
What do I want?
“That’s what you need to ask yourself in all of these aspects. Who do you want to be as a parent? What do you want your family to look like? What do you want to happen between you and Silas? And you have time to figure that out, but it seems to me like you need to start making decisions.”
“When did my best friend grow up and start asking all of these difficult questions of me?” I wink at her and then contemplate what she just said, ultimately landing on the truth that hits me square in the chest. “I just want to be who I needed when I was young,” I say barely loud enough for them to hear me, but the words just come out on their own.
Shayla reaches over the table and rests her hand on top of mine, Waverly following.
“If that means I’m a single mom, then I’m okay with it. But if it involves Silas, then I want to make sure that I’m making the right decision and he’s doing it for the right reasons too. I don’t want him to feel like we have to be together out of obligation. Although, I wouldn’t mind being exclusive with his dick.”
The girls laugh and release their grip on me. “No matter what you decide, you know we’re here for you,” my best friend adds, and then we order our food and enjoy the rest of our lunch, limiting conversation on what to do about the hunky Italian man that is now a permanent fixture in my life.
* * *
“My vagina is sweating.” I fan the bottom of my dress out as we stand on the front porch of Silas’s grandmother’s home.
“Maybe try to refrain from vagina talk this early on in the evening.”
I swat my hand at his arm. “I’m serious. I’m nervous, Silas.”
He peers down at me and grins. “I’m nervous too, Chloe. If it makes you feel any better, you’re only the second woman I’ve brought home, and they didn’t like the first one.”
I stare at him, dumbfounded. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
He stares off in contemplation. “It sounded better in my head.” Shaking off his fuck-up, he grabs my hand and squeezes. “You’ll be fine. You’re good with people, easy to talk to, and highly entertaining.” He grins, which has me smiling.
“That’s true.”
“Plus, you’re carrying my baby and if they ever want to see that baby, they have to be nice to you.”
“Oh, using the baby as leverage? I like it.”
“See, we have the upper hand here, so don’t stress.” He lifts my hand, kisses the back of it, and then knocks twice on the door before opening it up.
“Nonna?”
“She went to the bathroom.” A young woman who I recognize from family pictures around Silas’s house comes walking up to us standing in the front door way. “But she’ll be back in a minute. Hi, I’m Bianca.” She reaches out to shake my hand.
“Chloe. Nice to meet you,” I reply, placing my hand in hers.
“So, this is the woman that my older brother knocked up with his super sperm,” she says, smirking from ear to ear.
“Chloe, this is Bianca, the youngest of my sisters, and the millennial who thinks she can say whatever the hell she wants and is determined to save the sea turtles.” Silas motions to where she stands.
“Hey, someone has to, Silas. Plastic in the ocean is depleting the population of many species, not just turtles.”
“I appreciate a woman who can speak her mind, being one myself. But to answer your question, yes, your brother knocked me up. At least the sex was dynamite if I had to end up getting fat over the next six months.” I wink at her as she widens her eyes. “And if you want to save those sea turtles, you save those turtles. Don’t let this grump over here make you feel bad about that.”
Bianca peers over at Silas and then back to me. “I like you. You’d better marry my brother for no other reason than the fact that you make his face look like that.”
I look over at Silas who is just shaking his head in amusement and disbelief, his cheeks slightly pink in embarrassment, and I choose to let that comment about marriage slide for now.
“You’re here,” Valentina, the oldest, says as she comes around the corner. I know this is her based on pictures as well, and her small pregnant belly gives her away too. “I never thought I’d meet the woman who could tie down my brother.”
“Well, a baby is a sure fire way to do that,” I answer. “But we’re not together.”
“Oh. I just th
ought…”
“Don’t just assume, Valentina,” Silas interjects before taking me by the elbow and leading me toward the kitchen, and I’m not sure if his irritation is directed at me or her.
“What?”
“Don’t start butting in, okay? We all know that’s what you’re good at.”
“True story.” The last sister, Mia, comes around the corner snacking on a carrot while wearing a Crown Point Vineyards polo. “I’m Mia. Nice to meet you,” she says as she turns to face her brother. “She’s pretty. Too beautiful for you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Silas rears back in defense. But before Mia can reply, the matriarch of the family comes into the room.
All three of Silas’s sisters have long, black hair and dark eyes like him, but as soon as Silas’s grandmother steps in the room, I can tell where these genes come from. “Is she here?” She strides toward me with a gleam in her eyes. “You must be Chloe.” With a soft smile, she reaches out for my hand, clasping it between the two of hers. “Welcome. We’re so happy to have you here.”
“Oh, thank you…”
“Just call me Nonna. Everyone does.”
“Okay. Thank you for having us.”
“Nonsense. We have dinner together quite often, but this is the first time in a long time that Silas is bringing someone along.”
“Well, technically two people,” I chide, reaching down to stroke my small belly I’ve become weirdly attached to.
“Yes, yes. How are you feeling?” She reaches out and touches my stomach, which takes me by surprise, but doesn’t necessarily bother me.
“Better now that I’m well into my second trimester.”
“The first one is horrible, isn’t it?” Valentina interjects.
“Let’s just say that if they put the warning labels of pregnancy symptoms on penises, I feel like more women would contemplate having sex.”
The women all share a look as they fight their laughter, but Silas is just standing there watching the conversation unfold. Shit, I’m being too Chloe right now, aren’t I?
“Nope, wouldn’t deter me. This is my second,” Valentina says while gently patting her stomach.
“I for one am not scared of being pregnant, just not ready,” Mia adds.
Bianca pipes up. “No one is going to keep me from…”
“Dear God! Okay! Enough, please!” Silas shouts mercifully. “I’m begging you, please stop talking about this before I have to wash my eyes out with soap, burst my eardrums, and never speak to you all again.”
“Oh no, we’ve riled him up, ladies. Time to give Silas a break,” Bianca declares while smacking her gum, and then everyone starts invading the kitchen once more, leaving Silas and I alone for a moment.
I turn to face him, finding his face contorted in discomfort. “You okay?”
“I knew this was going to happen.”
“What?”
“You were going to fit right in.” He sighs and then grabs my hand before leading me toward the food.
“Chloe, have you ever made meatballs?” Nonna asks as I take a seat at the counter. Silas fills up a glass of water for me and slides it across the wooden surface. The kitchen is not very modern, but you can tell it’s well-worn and the smells coming from inside have my mouth watering.
“Um, do the frozen ones from the grocery store count?”
Nonna’s face falls as her spoon follows and smacks the counter.
“Nonna, not everyone makes meatballs from scratch. We’ve talked about this,” Silas replies while stroking my shoulder, as if telling me not to worry about her reaction. The man has touched me multiple times since we’ve been here, but there’s so much going on I don’t have time to process it.
“I will never understand that. I’m fairly progressive about a lot of things, Silas, but you know how I feel about meatballs.”
He chuckles and rolls his eyes at me. “Yes, I’m aware.”
“I mean, you’re having a baby out of wedlock with a woman you barely know. Most Italian grandmothers would be pushing the two of you down the aisle of the church and planning the christening, but I get it. Times have changed. However, everyone should know how to make a homemade meatball.” She directs her gaze at me. “Perhaps next time I can teach you.”
“Oh. Um, okay. That would be great.” I smile, but inside I’m having heart palpitations. I’ve been in this house for fifteen minutes and already Nonna wants to give me a cooking lesson? I’m not sure how to even react to that. No one has ever offered to teach me how to cook, let alone something as sacred as a family recipe. “I tasted some at the restaurant in Vegas, but Silas says yours are better.”
“That’s right, mio nipote.” She nods appreciatively and then turns back to the stove, depositing a loaf of bread into the oven.
“So, Chloe, when are you due?” Valentina asks as she dips a cucumber in some dip.
I reach for the veggie tray as well and start loading up a small plate. Thank God I can stomach these things now. “March twenty-sixth. What about you?”
“The nineteenth. Oh boy, our kids will be very close in age. I’m so glad. So many of our childhood memories were playing with our cousins.”
“You have cousins?”
Silas nods and the girls laugh. “Uh, yeah. My dad was an only child, but my mom was the youngest of three.”
“Where do they live?”
“Mostly in San Diego. We don’t see them very often now since we’re all grown and living our own lives. But before my family moved up here to Santa Barbara, we hung out all the time.”
“Oh.” My pulse races as I absorb that information. Silas’s family is huge, way bigger than I thought, and that thought is terribly overwhelming. “Do your parents live down there too then?” I ask as the room falls silent. Silas’s sisters share a look and Nonna questions Silas with her gaze.
“So this is your first baby, right?” Valentina continues to speak, completely evading my question.
“Um, yeah. Never really planned on kids, but this guy’s super sperm kind of changed all that,” I joke.
“We never thought Silas would have kids either,” Bianca adds. “At one point, I truly wondered if he was gay.”
I snort, thinking about how heterosexual and commanding I know for a fact that he is. “Yeah, I never got that vibe.”
“Glad to hear it,” Silas whispers in my ear, which has goosebumps breaking out over my skin. And I hate that my body is reacting this way in front of his family, but I can’t help it when the man touches me, especially lately. These hormones are making me crazy. “I’ll be right back.” He kisses my temple and then leaves me in the room with his three sisters and grandmother, but my eyes are on him as he walks away. Did he just kiss me?
“So do you want a natural birth or do you plan on taking the epidural?”
“What?” Valentina’s question catches me off-guard.
“I had the drugs with Enzo, but I’m thinking I want to try this one naturally,” she states proudly.
“Why?”
“Well, I hear it’s better for you and the baby. Are you guys gonna find out what you’re having?”
I swallow while her questions keep registering. “Yeah, in about a month actually.”
“Us too. What about breastfeeding? Co-sleeping? I’ve done both so I’m happy to answer any questions you have.” I feel like she’s being sincere, but a part of me is taken aback at how hard she seems to be drilling me for information right now as well. Her smile is potent as she sits there, rubbing her belly that is much larger than mine for only being a week apart, waiting for me to answer her.
“I’m not much of a planner. I figure we’ll just sort of wing it.” I shrug, but her eyes grow wide.
“Does Silas know this?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because my brother is the most OCD person on the planet. He will probably want to plan your delivery right down to each contraction.”
“Yes, I’m aware, but it’s my body,
” I reply a little more snarkily than I intended, but I’m starting to get pissed off. “You know what, I think I need some fresh air.” I force out a smile as I stand from my chair, grab my glass of water, and then find the nearest door outside, which just so happens to be directly to my left. I can feel their eyes on me as I walk away, but if I stay in there for one more moment, I’m going to lose it.
When the cool air outside hits my face, I feel my body start to calm, even though my pulse is racing.
Why do people insist on asking all of these questions that I don’t even know the answer to? And more importantly, why do they feel like it’s any of their business? I’m finally jumping into this and then someone else’s opinion has me questioning everything.
And why does Silas keep touching me, showing me affection that a couple would display, especially in front of his family? I’m so damn confused right now, the anxiety creeping up my spine.
“Chloe?” I spin around to find Silas closing the same door I just stepped out of, walking toward me. “Is everything okay?”
“No, Silas. Everything is not okay.” My voice sounds hoarse and my breathing uneven as I fight with my body to calm down. I briefly veer my eyes back to the window that looks into the house and then back to him, realizing I should probably keep my voice down.
“What happened? All I did was go to the bathroom, and when I came back, my sisters and Nonna looked worried and you were gone.”
I shake my head, fighting off tears, reaching down to my belly on instinct, as if just placing my hand there will protect my baby from the ridicule that I’m feeling.
“What happened? I’ll tell you what happened. I entered this house optimistic, and fifteen minutes later I’m being bombarded with questions about childbirth, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping!” I whisper shout.
“Okay…”
“Why aren’t you more annoyed by that?”
“Because that’s how Valentina is, and she’s had a baby, so I’m sure she was just trying to help.”
“I don’t need anyone’s help. I can make these decisions on my own.” I cross my arms over my chest and then stare off into the lush green yard and pristine green grass.