The Case of Italian Indigestion

by B R Snow

  “I can’t understand why he’s interested in her. She’s so not his type.”

  “I should probably tell you we saw Georgio coming out of your room yesterday,” Josie said softly.

  “He told me,” she said, nodding. “I was taking a nap while Emerson was playing golf and Georgio knocked on my door. We talked and reminisced for a while, and I almost slipped up. I finally told him he needed to leave. He wasn’t happy about it.”

  “But your husband doesn’t believe nothing happened?”

  “No, he doesn’t,” Bronwyn said, glancing down at the Golden sprawled across her lap. “This guy is insatiable.”

  “They do love attention,” Josie said, laughing. “How did Georgio end up working with your husband?”

  “He invented something he wanted my husband’s company to manufacture,” Bronwyn said.

  “Some sort of kitchen gadget?”

  “No. The kitchen inventions are just a hobby for Georgio. Or maybe cover would be a better term for it,” she said. “And it gives him a good excuse to visit the villa.”

  “What was it?”

  “It was a gun,” she said with a shrug. “A big gun.”

  “Really?”

  “I thought you must have heard by now how Georgio makes most of his money,” Bronwyn said.

  “I heard he invented stuff you could use around the house.”

  “Sometimes. Actually, most of what he invents are things you can use on the battlefield.”

  “He’s an arms dealer?”

  “Sort of,” she said with a frown. “Basically, he travels the world meeting with various thugs and third-world leaders looking for new and interesting ways to keep their rivals under control. Georgio figures out what they need then heads off to make it. When he has a working prototype ready to go, he starts talking to people like my husband to see if they can mass produce it for the price he’s willing to pay.”

  “Is that even legal?” Josie said.

  “I seriously doubt it. But as long as they don’t get caught,” she said with a shrug.

  “I guess that’s one way to look at it,” Josie said. “He invents weapons. Geez, what a weird way to make a living.”

  “Guns, electronics, satellite components, you name it. Rumor has it he’s developing some computer malware a lot of people can’t wait to get their hands on.”

  “He sounds like a genius.”

  “He is. A total psycho with a host of other delightful quirks but definitely a genius,” Bronwyn said as she snapped a selfie of her and the Golden draped across her lap. She glanced at the photo and frowned. “My hair’s a mess.”

  Chef Claire entered the living room, and all four dogs trotted over to greet her. She sat down on the floor and was soon flat on her back and buried beneath fur and wagging tails. Laughing, she made her way back into an upright position.

  “Marco wants us back soon,” she said. “But I had to say hi to these guys.”

  Georgio and Betty Smithsonian entered but paused in the doorway.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt,” Georgio said. “But Marco is ready to start class.”

  “We’re on our way,” Chef Claire said, getting to her feet.

  Georgio and Betty headed toward the kitchen and Bronwyn glanced at Josie.

  “I was wondering how long it was going to take him to set his sights on her,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Betty?” Josie said.

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Just watch,” Bronwyn said, then exited the living room. She called out over her shoulder as she headed down the hallway. “I know him better than he knows himself. I’m surprised he hasn’t made a play for you two.”

  Chef Claire followed Josie out of the room and leaned in close.

  “What’s she talking about?” Chef Claire whispered.

  “Georgio’s inability to stop chasing women,” Josie said.

  “Betty?”

  “According to Bronwyn, she’s next up on his list.”

  “She is pretty. Do you think Natalie knows?” Chef Claire said. “They are here together.”

  “I’m beginning to think Natalie might be here for another reason,” Josie said.

  “Like what?”

  “I think she might be working here.”

  “Spy stuff?”

  “I think it’s a possibility,” Josie said, then shook her head. “The heck with it. We’re on vacation. Forget it. Did you finish your interview?”

  “Almost. We’ll do the last bit after class.”

  “Okay,” Josie said. “Let’s go roll some dough.”

  “Try not to get it all over you,” Chef Claire deadpanned.

  “Yeah, I’ll do my best,” Josie said, punching her gently on the shoulder. “All of a sudden, I’ve got a bad feeling.”

  “Serves you right for eating cake off the floor.”

  Chapter 7

  Marco sipped coffee while waiting for everyone to return. He motioned for the group to assemble around the main island where a large, stainless-steel object was sitting next to a large rolling pin.

  “Welcome back,” he said, setting his coffee down and picking up the rolling pin. “It’s time for us to roll out our pasta dough. I imagine you’re all expecting to be taught the easiest way to use a rolling pin to get your dough to the right thickness and just the way you want it. So, here’s the best way to use it.”

  Marco raised his arm and tossed the rolling pin into a large trash bin. The class laughed long and hard.

  “I know we’re constantly talking about preserving Italian culinary traditions, but when it comes to archaic techniques, some things are better left to the past.” He placed a hand on top of the stainless-steel device. “And trust me, if our mothers and grandmas had even gotten their hands on this baby, they would have also tossed their rolling pin in the trash. You’re looking at the GRM. It’s an acronym for Georgio, Rosa, and Marco, and it’s the latest and greatest. It is without a doubt the best pasta maker on the planet.”

  “Well, thank you, Marco,” Georgio said, beaming. “But you deserve a lot of credit as well. You and Rosa made a big contribution.”

  “Only with some ideas about what it should do,” Marco said, shaking his head. “You made it happen. And it’s beautiful.”

  “Grazie.”

  “The GRM isn’t even on the market yet, but when it is, I have no doubt it will win all sorts of product-of-the-year awards. And the best news for you is Georgio has kindly donated one to every student here this week.”

  Murmurs of appreciation and a round of applause broke out. Georgio continued to beam as he waited it out.

  “You’re very welcome,” Georgio said. “All I ask is you enjoy it and tell your friends where they can get their own. Major retailers everywhere, Amazon, all the usual suspects.”

  He waited out the laughter.

  “Since you’re here, Georgio, why don’t you do the honors of showing everyone how to use it?”

  “I’d be happy to do that,” he said, moving around the island until he was directly behind the GRM. “When we first started talking about developing a new pasta maker, we decided it should do everything, be durable, and very easy to clean. And I think you’ll soon see we accomplished all three objectives. Basically, there are two types of pasta makers. There’s a roller kind that flattens the dough and cuts it into things like spaghetti and linguine. The second type does extrusion and pushes the dough out. By attaching one of the various dies that come with the GRM, you can make every type of pasta shape, including hollow tubes you can stuff with the filling of your choice. Instead of either or, we decided the GRM had to both roll and extrude.”

  “It’s beautiful,” Chef Claire said, giving the machine a loving stare.

  “A lot of women only drool like that over jewelry or shoes,” Josie deadpanned. “Your knees go wobbly over kitchen appliances.”

  “Shut it.”

  “In the back of the machine is a well where you can add yo
ur ingredients,” Georgio said. “I still prefer to use my hands when I’m making the dough, but many people like the convenience of having the machine do it for them. And the GRM has a motor, so the days of having to turn a crank are long gone.”

  “Rosa and I have been using it for a couple of months, and we simply love it,” Marco said. “Is there anything else you need to tell them, Georgio, or should we turn them loose?”

  “I’ve always found the quickest way to learn is by jumping right in,” Georgio said.

  “Good,” Marco said. “Okay, folks, for the next couple of hours, you’ll be making the pasta of your choice. And we’ve got lots of pre-made dough in the fridge so don’t worry about running out. After lunch, Rosa and I are going to cover three simple sauces. And your assignment will be to pair the pasta of your choice with one of the three sauces we cover in class. We’ll be sampling all your dishes at dinner tonight.”

  The group nodded and murmured to each other.

  “Yes, exciting stuff,” Marco said with a grin. “Take your time deciding which of the three sauces will work best with the pasta you end up using. And just so you know, Rosa and I will be showing you a basic marinara, a simple pesto, and an olive oil and butter sauce. We’ll also be covering some additional ingredients you can add to all three to make them extra special. But remember the cardinal rule. It’s not the quantity of ingredients you use, it’s the quality of the ingredients prepared well that is the secret to great Italian cooking.” Marco paused to glance around at everyone. “I know it sounds like we’re throwing a lot at you on your first day, but I’m sure you’ll all be able to handle it. So, have fun with your new kitchen toy. Georgio and I will be happy to help you out if you have questions or aren’t clear how the GRM works.” Marco started to walk away but stopped. “Oh, one more thing. Since Emerson isn’t here, why don’t you work in groups of three? It will give you a chance to get to know some of the other folks in class a bit better.”

  “How cool is this?” Chef Claire said, heading for the workstation.

  “Try to control yourself,” Josie said, laughing. “C’mon, Natalie. Join us.”

  “What a good idea,” Natalie said, carrying her GRM to the workstation. “It’ll be like cheating on a test from the smartest kid in the room.”

  “Aren’t you sweet,” Chef Claire said.

  “Something I don’t often hear,” Natalie said with a puzzled frown.

  Musings While I Wander

  Italy in October – 2

  We just finished our first day of class where we learned to make fresh pasta. And I’ll be doing a post soon about the science and art behind the process of turning a few basic ingredients into a dough used to create dozens of different kinds of pasta that will have your family and friends raving. But for this post, I wanted to do an interview with Marco Columbo, my mentor from culinary school and one of the owners of La Bella Vita, the magnificent villa Josie and I are staying at. Marco and his wife, Rosa, sold the culinary school they ran in California then bought the villa and moved to Northern Italy. The school, an intense, one-week program where students are immersed in the techniques of Italian cooking, is conducted on-site and classes are led by Marco and Rosa.

  He has kindly agreed to an interview, and I’m hoping with a little encouragement he’ll be willing to share the recipe for Torta Barozzi, an incredible dessert we enjoyed last night. So, let’s get started.

  Chef Claire – Thanks for agreeing to chat, Marco. What’s so funny?

  Marco – I’m just watching Josie trying to get flour and dough out of her hair. Does she always make a mess when she’s cooking?

  Chef Claire – She does. But be sure to watch when she slices garlic with a scalpel. She’s a magician.

  Marco – I’ll remember that. (calling out) Josie, I suggest you use a towel and a brush on your hair before you take a shower. Unless you’re trying to invent pasta dough shampoo.

  Chef Claire – What did she say?

  Marco – I’m not comfortable using that sort of language. Okay, Chef Claire, let’s chat. And since you’ve been sucking up in class all day, I suppose you want my recipe for Torta Barozzi?

  Chef Claire – Of course. Anything that good should be shared with the world. Isn’t that what you always used to tell your students?

  Marco – Touché. You always did pay attention in class. Of course, I’ll share it. Anything for you, Chef Claire.

  Chef Claire – Thank you, Marco. Let’s start with some history. Where did Torta Barozzi come from?

  Marco – It was created in the late 19th century by a pastry chef by the name of Eugenio Gollini who lived in Vignola, a small town a couple of hours south of here. According to legend, he spent a long time pursuing his goal of creating a new cake. And he continued working on it until he was finally satisfied with the result.

  Chef Claire – I’m glad he persevered. But why isn’t it called Torta Gollino?

  Marco – He originally named it torta nera which translates into ‘black cake’ but it was renamed Torta Barozzi in honor of Jacopo Barozzi. He was a famous 16th-century architect from Vignola who once did work for the Pope.

  Chef Claire – I heard the original recipe is still considered a state secret by the descendants of the guy who invented it.

  Marco – It is. And the debate rages on about what should and shouldn’t be in the cake. But like many other recipes, I played around with it until I hit on one I enjoy the most.

  Chef Claire – We’ll eat while others argue, right?

  Marco – Indeed. Anyway, I like my recipe. As do my family and friends. Should we begin?

  Chef Claire – Absolutely. Let’s begin with the ingredients.

  Marco – There are dozens of variations to the recipe and all of them delicious. So, you really can’t go wrong. Some recipes include ground coffee and rum. And it’s rumored the original recipe calls for peanuts. I prefer almonds, but I had one recently with hazelnuts and it was delicious. I used to include the coffee but eventually eliminated it from my recipe. And as soon as I decided to use almonds, I swapped out the rum for Amaretto, which as you know is an almond-flavored liqueur.

  Chef Claire – What’s in your version?

  Marco – Dark chocolate, butter, eggs, sugar, and almonds. And I use a splash of Amaretto to really bring out the flavor of the almonds.

  Chef Claire – That’s it?

  Marco – It is. You know the Italian philosophy.

  Chef Claire – Only include ingredients that absolutely have to be there?

  Marco – Exactly. I assume you’ll be including the recipe with detailed instructions later on.

  Chef Claire – I will.

  Marco – Then I won’t bother going through all the steps. But I will share a few tips. First, be sure to toast the almonds very slowly. I like to use a dry pan, but the oven is fine. Either way, use very low heat and wait until they toast all the way through to the middle. By the time they’re done, your kitchen will smell fantastic.

  Chef Claire – Easy one. What else?

  Marco – Grind the almonds and the sugar well. I use a coffee grinder, but a blender also works. Since it’s a flourless cake, the mixture of ground almonds and sugar, the almond-flour if you will, is the only dry ingredient in the cake. The rest of the recipe is straightforward, and I’m sure your instructions will walk people through the process. As you saw last night, I finish the dish with a sprinkle of powdered sugar after the cake squares are cut and ready to be served.

  Chef Claire – How many different sauces and compotes do you serve with the cake?

  Marco – I have a lot of different ones. It depends on what is in season. I use macerated berries or tart cherries and often include another splash of Amaretto to carry the almond flavor through the dish. But other people like a dollop of whipped cream while others prefer to just let the cake speak for itself. The one we had last night was a fig jam and pomegranate sauce cooked down until it’s almost a glaze. Not exactly traditional, but people seem to like it.
The only other advice I have is to take your time and have some fun with it. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Since the original recipe is under lock and key, who’s gonna argue authenticity with you?

  Chef Claire – A rebel to the end, huh? What about storage? Since Josie won’t always be around, I assume you’ll have leftovers.

  Marco – Keep it wrapped in the foil and out of the refrigerator. It will last for up to a month, perhaps even a bit longer.

  Chef Claire – Not around our house it won’t. Thanks so much, Marco.

  Marco – Happy to do it. And here’s a little extra bonus recipe for you.

  Chef Claire – I can’t believe it. Your recipe for Il Pane dei Morti?

  Marco – The very one. Bread of the dead. I only make them a few times a year. And All Souls’ Day is one of those times.

  Chef Claire – I remember the cookies from when you made them for us at culinary school. I couldn’t believe how good they were. Moist and chewy. Rich and dense. They’re incredible. Thanks so much, Marco. I’ll make good use of both these recipes.

  Marco – Happy to do it, Chef Claire. But I should get back to the kitchen before class resumes. Big day tomorrow. All Saint’s Day. And I have to go through the menu with Rosa and the rest of the staff.

  Chef Claire – That’s right. I forgot tomorrow is a national holiday.

  Marco – It is. A day of feast. And all of you will be helping out with the preparations.

  Chef Claire – You’re such a slave driver.

  Marco – You wouldn’t have it any other way. Oh, I almost forgot. It’s going to be cold this evening, so we’ll be eating inside. After dinner, we’ll head out to the veranda to watch the fireworks over the lake. It’s Halloween.

  Chef Claire – Halloween is celebrated in Italy?

  Marco – It is. Technically, it’s All Saints' Eve, but costume parties and such continue to grow in popularity. And we do love our fireworks.

  Chef Claire – Thanks for taking the time to talk with me, Marco. And thanks so much for the recipes.

  Torta Barozzi