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The Changing Light at Sandover

Page 2

by James Merrill


  Here, there, swift handle pointing, letter upon

  Letter taken down blind by my free hand—

  At best so clumsily, those early sessions

  Break off into guesswork, paraphrase.

  Too much went whizzing past. We were too nice

  To pause, divide the alphabetical

  Gibberish into words and sentences.

  Yet even the most fragmentary message—

  Twice as entertaining, twice as wise

  As either of its mediums—enthralled them.

  Correct but cautious, that first night, we asked

  Our visitor’s name, era, habitat.

  EPHRAIM came the answer. A Greek Jew

  Born AD 8 at XANTHOS Where was that?

  In Greece WHEN WOLVES & RAVENS WERE IN ROME

  (Next day the classical dictionary yielded

  A Xanthos on the Asia Minor Coast.)

  NOW WHO ARE U We told him. ARE U XTIANS

  We guessed so. WHAT A COZY CATACOMB

  Christ had WROUGHT HAVOC in his family,

  ENTICED MY FATHER FROM MY MOTHERS BED

  (I too had issued from a broken home—

  The first of several facts to coincide.)

  Later a favorite of TIBERIUS Died

  AD 36 on CAPRI throttled

  By the imperial guard for having LOVED

  THE MONSTERS NEPHEW (sic) CALIGULA

  Rapidly he went on—changing the subject?

  A long incriminating manuscript

  Boxed in bronze lay UNDER PORPHYRY

  Beneath the deepest excavations. He

  Would help us find it, but we must please make haste

  Because Tiberius wanted it destroyed.

  Oh? And where, we wondered of the void,

  Was Tiberius these days? STAGE THREE

  Why was he telling us? He’d overheard us

  Talking to SIMPSON Simpson? His LINK WITH EARTH

  His REPRESENTATIVE A feeble nature

  All but bestial, given to violent

  Short lives—one ending lately among flames

  In an Army warehouse. Slated for rebirth

  But not in time, said Ephraim, to prevent

  The brat from wasting, just now at our cup,

  Precious long distance minutes—don’t hang up!

  So much facetiousness—well, we were young

  And these were matters of life and death—dismayed us.

  Was he a devil? His reply MY POOR

  INNOCENTS left the issue hanging fire.

  As it flowed on, his stream-of-consciousness

  Deepened. There was a buried room, a BED

  WROUGHT IN SILVER I CAN LEAD U THERE

  IF If? U GIVE ME What? HA HA YR SOULS

  (Another time he’ll say that he misread

  Our innocence for insolence that night,

  And meant to scare us.) Our eyes met. What if…

  The blood’s least vessel hoisted jet-black sails.

  Five whole minutes we were frightened stiff

  —But after all, we weren’t that innocent.

  The Rover Boys at thirty, still red-blooded

  Enough not to pass up an armchair revel

  And pure enough at heart to beat the devil,

  Entered into the spirit, so to speak,

  And said they’d leave for Capri that same week.

  Pause. Then, as though we’d passed a test,

  Ephraim’s whole manner changed. He brushed aside

  Tiberius and settled to the task

  Of answering, like an experienced guide,

  Those questions we had lacked the wit to ask.

  Here on Earth—huge tracts of information

  Have gone into these capsules flavorless

  And rhymed for easy swallowing—on Earth

  We’re each the REPRESENTATIVE of a PATRON

  —Are there that many patrons? YES O YES

  These secular guardian angels fume and fuss

  For what must seem eternity over us.

  It is forbidden them to INTERVENE

  Save, as it were, in the entr’acte between

  One incarnation and another. Back

  To school from the disastrously long vac

  Goes the soul its patron crams yet once

  Again with savoir vivre. Will the dunce

  Never—by rote, the hundredth time round—learn

  What ropes make fast that point of no return,

  A footing on the lowest of NINE STAGES

  Among the curates and the minor mages?

  Patrons at last ourselves, an upward notch

  Our old ones move THEYVE BORNE IT ALL FOR THIS

  And take delivery from the Abyss

  Of brand-new little savage souls to watch.

  One difference: with every rise in station

  Comes a degree of PEACE FROM REPRESENTATION

  —Odd phrase, more like a motto for abstract

  Art—or for Autocracy—In fact

  Our heads are spinning—From the East a light—

  BUT U ARE TIRED MES CHERS SWEET DREAMS TOMORROW NIGHT

  Dramatis Personae (a partial list

  Which may conveniently be inserted here):

  Auden, W(ystan) H(ugh), 1907–

  73, the celebrated poet.

  Clay, John, died 1774,

  A clergyman. Now patron to DJ.

  Deren, Eleanora (“Maya”),

  1917–61, doyenne of our

  American experimental film.

  Mistress moreover of a life style not

  For twenty years to seem conventional.

  Fills her Village flat with sacred objects:

  Dolls, drums, baubles that twirl and shimmer,

  Stills from work in progress, underfoot

  The latest in a lineage of big, black,

  Strangely accident-prone Haitian cats.

  Dresses her high-waisted, maiden-breasted

  Person—russet afro, agate eyes—

  In thriftshop finery. Bells on her toes,

  Barefoot at parties dances. Is possessed

  (Cf. her book on voodoo, Divine Horsemen)

  During a ceremony (1949?)

  By Erzulie the innocently lavish,

  Laughing, weeping, perfume-loving queen

  Among the loa, or divinities.

  Farmetton, Rufus, dead of heart attack

  In the Transvaal, 1925.

  Previous incarnation of JM.

  Ford, Kinton, 1810–43,

  Editor of Pope’s works. Inquiry,

  Albeit languid, has unearthed to date

  No vestige of this poor infatuate

  Of letters, or his book—though now we know

  Whence come the couplets that bedevil so

  (Ephraim, no spell for exorcising them?)

  His faithful representative JM.

  Jackson, Mary Fogelsong, born 1890,

  DJ’s mother. Representative

  Of Ayako Watanabe. Model

  For “Lucy Prentiss” in JM’s lost novel.

  Lodeizen, Hans, 1924–50,

  Dutch poet. Author of Het Innerlijk

  Behang, &c. Studies in America.

  Clever, goodnatured, solitary, blond,

  All to a disquieting degree.

  Plays a recording of the “Spring” Sonata

  One May night when JM has a fever;

  Unspoken things divide them from then on.

  Dies of
leukemia in Switzerland,

  The country of a thousand years of peace.

  At Stage One when we first get through

  —And where he is denied the taste and hearing

  Which are Ephraim’s privilege at Six.

  (Stage by Stage the taken-leave-of senses

  RETURN TO US LIKE PICTURES ON A SCREEN

  GROWN SOLID THAT AT 1ST ARE MERELY SEEN)

  Hans’s Stage is that of vision pure

  And simple: rinse the cup with rum for him,

  He cannot find his tongue, his eyes alone

  Burn, filling…as this moment do my own.

  Patron, that summer, to a holy terror

  Known as Joselito, five years old,

  On a plantation near Caracas where,

  Says Ephraim, he CUTS CANE & RAISES IT

  Merrill, Charles Edward, 1885–

  1956, JM’s father. Representative

  Of a mystic from Calcutta he dismisses

  As a DAMN POOR ADMINISTRATOR Model

  For “Benjamin Tanning” in The Seraglio.

  Mitsotáki, Maria Demertzí,

  1907–74. Described

  Elsewhere (cf. “Words for Maria”). Dead

  In these last months of the dictatorship.

  Athens will be a duller town without her.

  Pincus, Beatrice (“Betsy”) Merrill, born

  1937, JM’s niece. Model

  For “Ellen Prentiss Cade” in the lost novel.

  Simpson, Ephraim’s representative.

  Reborn as “Gopping” (1955)

  And (1956) as Wendell Pincus.

  “Smith, Rosamund,” character in the novel,

  Later the Marchesa Santofior.

  Perennially youthful, worldly, rich,

  And out of sight until the close, at which

  Point—but no matter, now. By degrees grows

  Like all my “people” (the old Prentisses,

  Their grandchild Ellen, Ellen’s husband Leo,

  Joanna flying toward them through the storm)

  A twilight presence. I may need her still

  But Ephraim shoulders her aside. She will

  Have wrinkled soon to purple fruitlessness,

  Leaving the outcome anybody’s guess.

  Yeats, W(illiam) B(utler), 1865–

  1939, the celebrated

  Poet. Author of A Vision.

  Familiar spirit: Leo Africanus.

  —For as it happened I had been half trying

  To make sense of A Vision

  When our friend dropped his bombshell: POOR OLD YEATS

  STILL SIMPLIFYING

  But if someone up there thought we would edit

  The New Enlarged Edition,

  That maze of inner logic, dogma, dates—

  Ephraim, forget it.

  We’d long since slept through our last talk on Thomist

  Structures in Dante. Causes

  Were always lost—on us. We shared the traits

  Of both the dumbest

  Boy in school and that past master of clauses

  Whose finespun mind “no idea violates.”

  Ephraim nonetheless kept on pursuing

  Our education. Ignorant and lazy

  Though he must have found us, he remained

  Sweetness itself. We hardly tasted

  The pill beneath his sugar. USE USE USE

  YR BODIES & YR MINDS—instead of being

  Used by them? So imperceptibly

  His bromides took, I only now detect

  How that thirtieth summer of mine freed me—

  Freed perhaps also D—to do the homework

  Fiction had optimistically assigned

  To adolescence. TAKE our teacher told us

  FROM SENSUAL PLEASURE ONLY WHAT WILL NOT

  DURING IT BE EVEN PARTLY SPOILED

  BY FEAR OF LOSING TOO MUCH This was the tone

  We trusted most, a smiling Hellenistic

  Lightness from beyond the grave. Each shaft

  Feathered by head-turning flattery:

  LONG B4 THE FORTUNATE CONJUNCTION

  (David’s and mine) ALLOWED ME TO GET THRU

  MAY I SAY WEVE HAD OUR EYES ON U

  —On our kind hearts, good sense, imagination,

  Talents! Some had BORNE FRUIT Others bore

  Comparison with those the Emperor

  Recruited, fine young fellows from five races,

  To serve as orgy-fodder in CAPRICES

  (Named for their locus classicus no doubt)

  Which E, to tease our shyness, fleshes out

  With dwarfs, tame leopards, ancient toothless slaves

  Unmarred by gender, philtres up their sleeves;

  A certain disapproving TULLIA her

  Red-and-white running in the de rigueur

  Post-revel bath of dry Egyptian wine…

  How by the way does he look? Blond, sun-kissed,

  Honey-eyed, tall. AN ARCHAEOLOGIST

  MEASURED THE BONES OF GERMANICUS 1 POINT 9

  METERS I WAS TALLER And what age

  Does one assume in the next world? THE AGE

  AT WHICH IT FIRST SEEMS CREDIBLE TO DIE

  Ephraim accordingly, in our propped-up glass,

  Looks AS I DID AT 22 The last

  Mirrors he has used were at Versailles

  In the 1780’s. I WAS ALL THE RAGE

  MY 2ND COURT LIFE Mediums: d’Alençon,

  The duke, and his smut-loving so-called son

  BOTH CHARMERS—the old man by now at Stage

  Two; the younger, twelve lives later, still a

  Garbage collector SHAMELESS in Manila.

  As for our patrons, we are far from certain

  How influential Messrs Ford and Clay

  Actually are. Oh, once the curtain

  Falls, and we need help in the worst way

  For the quick seamless change of body-stocking,

  It’s these who come. And they’ll have much to say,

  We ruefully suspect, about the play.

  Viewed from the wings, what can it seem but shocking?

  Manners, motives, idiom and theme

  Horrify such fusty employees.

  Vainly they signal us: Desist! Ugh! Please!

  —All sense of play, in fact, quite lost on them.

  On Ephraim not. A critic sound, we said,

  As Shaw, with the edge of over nineteen hundred

  Years to improve his temper. And now that Simpson

  Had been again TYPECAST (Reborn? As what?

  A PURPLE FORKED MALE PUKING NAMELESS THING

  At GOPPING a vile crossroads God knew where—

  Congratulations! NOT FOR LONG I FEAR)

  Ephraim had resumed his volunteer

  Work in that dimension we could neither

  Visualize nor keep from trying to:

  For instance (this March noon) at a fogswept

  Milk-misty, opal-fiery induction

  Center where, even while our ball is kept

  Suavely rolling, he and his staff judge

  At a glance the human jetsam each new wave

  Washes their way—war, famine, revolution;

  Each morning’s multitude the tough

  Tendril of unquestioning love alone

  Ties to dust, a strewn ancestral flesh

  —Yet we whose last ties loosened, snapped like thread,

  Weren’t we less noble than these untamed dead?—

>   Old falcon-featured men, young skin-and-bone

  Grandmothers, claw raised against the flash,

  Night-creatures frightened headlong, by a bare

  Bright Stage, into the next vein-tangled snare.

  PATRONS OF SUCH SOULS ARE FREQUENTLY

  MADE SQUEAMISH PAR EXEMPLE GBS

  U MENTIONED HIM TONIGHT AT 6 WITH ME

  VEGETARIAN ONCE HAD TO CLAIM

  A FINE BROTH OF A BOY COOKED OVER FLAME

  This was the tone we trusted not one bit.

  Must everything be witty? AH MY DEARS

  I AM NOT LAUGHING I WILL SIMPLY NOT SHED TEARS

  Flash-forward: April 1st in Purgatory,

  Oklahoma. Young Temerlin takes me calling

  On his chimpanzees. Raw earth reds and sky blues.

  Yet where we’ve paused to catch our breath, the lake

  Small and unrippling bleaches to opaque

  Café-au-lait daguerreotype the world

  It doubles. Stump and grassy hummock, hut,

  Ramshackle dock—poor furniture

  Of Miranda’s island. She is sitting huddled,

  Back to us, in the one tall, dead tree.

  Only when Bruno gibbering thumps the dirt

  Does she turn round, and see us, and descend

  To dance along the hateful water’s edge,

  Making the “happy” sign. Behavior which

  Allows for her no less inspiredly sudden

  Spells of pure unheeding, like a Haydn

  Finale marked giocoso but shot through

  With silences—regret? foreknowledge? Who

  Can doubt she’s one of us? She has been raised

  From birth in that assumption. It appears

  The plan’s to wed her—like as not, to Bruno

  When both reach puberty—and determine what

  Traces, if any, she will then transmit

  To her own offspring, of our mother wit.

  Now she’s being rowed across to us,

  Making the “hurry” sign. Now, heartbeat visible

  Through plum-dark breast, child-face alight

  Within its skeptic, brooding mask,

  Has landed. Up the low red clay brow scrambles

  Flinging her whole weight—as Temerlin’s

  Features disappear into one great

  Openjawed kiss that threatens to go on

 

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