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The Changing Light at Sandover

Page 31

by James Merrill

Science, George hopes, has room for Juno’s bird

  —And for its mistress, should she grace our Board!

  Do I remember, he goes on, the dream

  Of Dante’s mother, from Boccaccio?

  She saw a peacock in a laurel tree,

  Beak snipping the clustered berries—down they fell

  Until the skirt she held outspread was full—

  And woke in labor. Taking up the theme,

  Moving past Lesbia’s sparrow, Poe and Keats,

  Coloratura wood-note understood

  By Siegfried, thumb licked clean of dragon’s blood;

  Past twittering parliament, past the “little bird”

  Who speaks to instinct with a paraclete’s

  Ghostly cackle, we attain the sphere

  (Justice?) where Dante saw the letter M

  Become an Eagle made of ruby souls

  Which sang to him. What of the Phoenix, then?—

  Its blaze our culture-watchers doze before,

  Never quite making out the infra-vulture.

  Of Senator X who vowed Vietnam would “rise

  Like a Tucson” from the ashes—? A short pause,

  Then George: “You won’t laugh if I tell you I

  Also get these voices, these vocations?

  Over the years, each time I’ve undergone

  A general anesthetic, the same one,

  A woman’s, cold yet not unloving, fills

  My head with truths about the cosmos—truths,

  Jimmy, too deep, too antilogical

  Ever to grasp, short of the odd detail

  Clutched on waking. Once, the phrase ‘black holes’

  (And this was long before black holes made headlines)

  Stayed with me. Another time, these were explained

  As ash the Phoenix left on entering

  A ‘biological cycle’. And once, I woke

  Knowing that what had reached me was the song

  The Phoenix sings throughout eternity.”

  We’re on the street. He wonders if he may

  Try the Board with us next spring in Athens?

  His hometown, I remember now, where things

  Periodically keep taking him.

  As they do me. By the New Year great wings

  Have reunited DJ and JM,

  Eager to meet the lords of Earth and Sea.

  The Board, that first day, is all come-and-go—

  Revolving door into a lobby. Enter

  Hans as if startled: OH JIM? U ARE THE CENTER

  OF MUCH GOOD FEELING HERE Then Wallace Stevens:

  MAY I SUGGEST A CENTRAL METAPHOR:

  PEACOCK TO O—to zero—AS CHICKEN TO EGG?

  Acknowledging our thanks, away they saunter,

  Leaving Wystan and Maria barely

  Time to say that in the interval

  Since last we met OUR UTTER PURITY

  HAS HAD THE GOOD OLD HUMAN DIRT RESTORED.

  THE POINT MUST BE MY DEARS, TO TOUCH HOME BASE

  MAKES POSSIBLE EACH NEW LEAP INTO SPACE

  Here now is Mirabell. He calls us MASTERS,

  Calls his poem A CAP TO ALL MY FEATHERS

  And says of George’s interest:

  U SEE, JM? IS NOT SCIENCE ITSELF COMING TO CALL?

  (The doorbell.)

  Not Science, just an oil delivery—

  MY ANCESTORS POURING IN TO WARM U: SET US ALIGHT!

  One word, next, from a figure bathed in tears:

  CHERI It’s my old nurse, Mademoiselle

  Who died last month—

  But 00 interferes:

  DOWN! WE BEAR ON WINGS THE WORD OF GREAT MICHAEL O GLORY!

  HE & HIS BROTHERS SAY TO US: GO FORTH INTO THE DREAMS

  OF THIS OR THAT ONE, NOW AS EAGLE OR SWAN OR DOVE, NOW

  AS THE OFT FALLEN OFT RISEN LEGENDARY PHOENIX

  & IN THE TONGUES OF DREAM ENTHRALL & INSPIRE ALL THOSE

  WHO DO OUR IMMORTAL WORK. BUT FOR YOU, O SCRIBE, O HAND:

  GO (THEY COMMANDED FROM THE FIRST) IN YR WORKDAY ASPECT

  FOR THESE 2 WILL TRANSFORM U AFTER THEIR OWN FASHION DOWN!

  YOU WILL IN 2 SUNCYCLES BE CALLD NO INTERRUPTION!

  DOWN! BE SUMMOND BY O GLORY! THE WATER GOD BACK! DOWN!

  What’s going on? THE AUDITORIUM

  ENFANTS IS UNFAMILIAR THEY ALL SEE

  THE GLOW & CROWD IN IF WE FACED THE LIGHT?

  (Our table’s in the gloomy downstairs hall—

  Well, not a moment to describe the house;

  But we move chairs.) BETTER NOW MICHAEL HAS

  A PATH AH YES YES! HE IS OVER US!

  Michael? So many voices, how to know—

  MY DEARS IT IS A MAHLER Michael speaks:

  CHILDREN, MY BROTHER ELIAS REQUESTS YOU IN TWO DAYS. HE IS AS WATER SWEET & FLUID.

  I HAVE CLEANED THIS SPACE: HAVE NO FEARS, INTELLIGENT ONES, HAIL!

  Thus as in some old-world Grand Hotel

  (Early morning ado; kingfisher streak

  Of lift-boy; Figaro and eggcup; hall

  Porter’s flicked ash, a chambermaid’s faint shriek;

  The beldam, ringlets trembling upon skull,

  Chastening marble with her brush and pail

  —Inconveniences the clientèle

  Must philosophically endure until

  A new day’s clean white linen runners lie

  In place over the antediluvian crimson

  Of corridor and stair, down which now takes

  —Bonjour, Milord! Il fait un beau soleil!—

  His ease a blondness bareheaded and winsome)

  THE WHITE HAS BEEN LAID DOWN FOR THESE NEW TALKS

  *

  The Water Brother

  CHILDREN, ARE YOU THIRSTY? COME, ELIAS!

  Not Willowware in Greece, a tea-stained white

  Cup surges and ebbs with the new angel:

  I AM THE SUSPENSION REASON FLOATS IN MY SALTY STRENGTH HAIL!

  SOME CLAIM THE MOON CONTROLS ME, NOT SO: I BALANCE IT IN THE PALM OF MY BASINS.

  BENIGN, I WASH MY WITTY BROTHER. CONTROLLED, I BRING MAN HIS FALSE LIGHT

  BUT YIELDING EVER TO MICHAEL AS THE BROTHER MOST BELOVED OF OUR MASTER.

  NOW (imitative movements of the cup)

  I AM WHIRLPOOL! NOW WATERFALL! NOW WAVE!

  THEN AS RAIN & ICE, MANIFESTING MYSELF FOR MY MASTER & HIS CHILD, I REGULATE THE SEASONS.

  I WAS BORN AS A TEAR IN GOD’S EYE: THUS I BRING BALM FOR SORROW.

  O CHILDREN, I AM THE GREATER PART OF YOUR BODIES & YOUR NOURISHMENT, THOUGH 2ND TO MY BELOVED MICHAEL.

  NOW IN 12 TIDES WE WILL RETURN WITH MY WITTY BROTHER

  & THEN WITH OUR SHY ONE WHEN MY SEASON OF RENEWAL FINDS YOU STRONGER TO MEET THE FORCE OF HIM,

  AND THEN WE FOUR COMMENCE YOUR INSTRUCTION HAIL!

  MES ENFANTS WE ARE STILL SLIGHTLY AWASH

  Don’t tease us, tell! FIRST MICHAEL IN HIS GLORY

  THEN HE TURNED & A SHAFT! A RAINBOW SPOKE

  & AS WE KNELT IN WONDER MELTED INTO

  WHITE CLOUD WHICH NEXT GREW SOLID How baroque!

  A GIANT ALL HOAR & SPIKY ICE A HISS

  OF HAIL & OUR BLUE ROBES CLUNG WETLY TO US!

  ELIAS ROSE IN A TALL DAZZLING VAPOR

  & MICHAEL’S LAUGHTER MADE ALL HEAVEN QUAKE

  And did Maman’s affinities with water

  Earn her special treatment? AH ENFANT,

  TOO RAVISHING: I SANK INTO A POOL

  WARM & SWEET: EXPERIENCING MY MOTHER’S

 
WOMB SUSPENDED INFINITELY PLEASED

  AS IF MY LIFE WERE JUST AHEAD

  And Wystan?

  I MY DEARS STOOD BRACED IN A MANLY DOWNPOUR

  Why do you suppose he’s called Elias?

  THEY ALL HAVE MANY NAMES THEIR VOWELS RING

  THRU CANYONS OF MYTH ELIAS I DARESAY

  IS THE MUSICAL ANGEL MOZART CALLS GABRIEL

  In an opera? NO IN A SOIREE

  Mozart as Stravinsky— YES OUR CHATS

  SUCH FUN M/S PROPOSES A NEW ‘RAKE’

  PROGRESSING THRU VARIOUS LIVES OF V WORK ONLY

  TO BE COMICALLY DEFEATED BY THE RATS

  DJ: What’s Wystan’s future? JM: We

  Assume he stays in the Bureaucracy—

  Right, Wystan? Getting mined for all you’re worth

  By fresh-faced, big-thumbed scholars here on Earth.

  DJ: Why do I have the distinct impression

  He and Maria both are being groomed

  To join the elements? She’ll become a tree,

  That much we know from Mirabell, while he—

  JM: No, no. Maria after all

  Had lost much of her soul to cobalt rays.

  But Wystan’s is intact; so that can’t be.

  A PLUS DJ BACK TO THE GLABROUS CLAYS

  THE OILS & METALS MY FIRST LOVES COME AUTUMN

  A FAIRY PAIR WILL FLIT FORTH HAND IN HAND:

  MM INTO THE GREEN, I INTO SAND

  But your soul wasn’t harmed. Why this instead

  Of human life, if it should come to that,

  Like Chester? MY DEMISE A FORM OF LEAD

  POISONING: I WENT OFF TO MY ROOM

  TIDDLY THAT NIGHT BUT HAD IN MIND TO SCRIBBLE

  A NOTE TO C, & AS I’D DONE SINCE CHILDHOOD

  SUCKED ON A PENCIL THINKING. NEXT I KNEW,

  AN ICY SUN SHONE IN UPON THE DEAD

  WEIGHT OF MY FEATHER QUILT But how does lead

  Destroy the soul? DJ: They don’t use lead—

  Graphite in pencils. LET THE FACT REMAIN

  (OR FABLE!) THAT I SIPPED IT GRAIN BY GRAIN.

  OVER THE YEARS ANYTHING FROM AN X RAY

  TO THE COSMIC RAYS WE’RE ALL EXPOSED TO WD

  RESIDE UNDISSIPATED IN MY BLOOD

  & VITAL ORGANS: I BECAME A WALKING

  NONCONDUCTING LEADEN CASKET THESE

  PARTICULAR DESTRUCTIVE ENERGIES

  HAD FILLED WITH RADIANT WASTE Dear God…& NO

  PANDORA NO LATTERDAY BASSANIO

  TO LIFT THE LID. WE MAKE OUR DEATHS MY DEARS

  AS NO DOUBT THAT SHY WILDLY EXPECTED BRO

  WILL TELL US Ah, it’s grim. Yet what to ask

  Of death but that it come wearing a mask

  We’ve seen before; to die of complications

  Invited by the way we live. Bad habits,

  Overloaded fuses, the foreknown

  Stroke or tumor—these we call our own

  And face with poise. It’s random death we dread.

  The bomb, the burning theatre, the switchblade-

  Brandishing smack freak— OR ARE PENCIL & KNIFE

  & COCK ALL ONE

  & WAVE & BREAST & WET

  SNAKY LOCKS! WE’LL SWEEP UP U CHAPS YET!

  Speaking of those breasts, Maman, the tale

  We’re hearing now is nothing if not male.

  But Maya long ago said Erzulie

  Was Queen of Heaven. Has She any niche

  That one could visit? TALK TO YR WHITE WITCH

  DAVID JIMMY Maya! In New York

  Last week I saw some friends of yours; saw Teiji.

  He and his young wife are salvaging

  Your Haitian film. At last it’s out of storage,

  Cut, spliced, synchronized with the drum-tapes—

  Reel upon reel of ritual possession—

  And can be shown soon. We’re all thrilled except

  (Wouldn’t you know) your mother: “Maya made

  High class, avant garde stuff—documentaries

  Never.” Whereupon Joe Campbell spoke

  Authoritatively of your amazement

  At being overwhelmed quite simply by

  Gusts of material so violent

  As to put out the candle held to them

  By mere imagination. Such a theme,

  He said, took all one’s powers to “document”.

  AS U ARE LEARNING, J? But now my question:

  Is there no Ewig-Weibliche in sight?

  AN EWIG SHALL WE SAY HERMAPHRODITE?

  YOU HAD THOUGHT ERZULIE WAS FEMALE? HE/

  SHE IS/WAS RAIN SOIL SEED SUN STARLIGHT

  PHALLUS & VAGINA OMNISEX

  QUEEN OF A HEAVEN LIKE A GAUDY EX

  VOTO WHERE DESIRE & SATISFACTION

  PEPPER & SALT THE DISH SERVED PIPING HOT!

  No heartburn after? O MY TEIJI WHAT

  IS THE GIRL LIKE PRETTY? I thought so. Sweet, smart,

  Clearly devoted to both him and art.

  No match of course for you in your heyday—

  More Greuze than Ghirlandaio. SOUNDS OK

  Admit it, this new Erzulie leaves us

  Less eager for a glimpse. Where’s Marius?

  MY DEAR JAMES Is there an Athenian

  Club where you can get a drink and read

  The underground newspapers? O INDEED

  PLATO & WYSTAN ARE ITS CO-CHAIRPERSONS

  And Chester’s Luca, still under Plato’s wing?

  LUCA! CUT MY LACE THAT THAT THAT THING

  ROAMING HEAVEN LIKE A VAST STEAMROOM

  Cool off—ask Coleridge for some laudanum.

  NO NO I LEAVE SOOTHED BY THE SIGHT OF U

  MES CHERS HE MEANS THE RADIANCE AROUND U

  Ephraim!—dimmed though we are, much of the time,

  By careless living, the old human grime?

  A WISE PROTECTION SO THE ATHLETE SMEARS

  DIRT BENEATH HIS EYES TO CUT REFLECTION.

  MY POOR SLAVE’S VISION OVERFLOWS WITH LOVE

  AROUND U BOTH SUCH JOY SUCH RADIANT LIGHT

  If so, a joy not ours to feel, a light

  We are the two contracted pupils of.

  YET FOR THAT FOCAL DARKNESS THANK GOD B

  MY BOYS IT IS YR PRECIOUS SANITY

  Wystan. Can we bear to part with him,

  Our mine of good sense? Ah, he’ll doff his dim

  Red shift (the mufti of a star’s retreat)

  To vanish into quarry and tar-pit,

  Sandgrain and stylus, thorn the raw March wind

  Piping through despondent makes a wand

  In bloom. He’ll draw the desert round his knees,

  Brows knitted where the thinking icecaps freeze.

  He’ll be the nurse whose charges “for their own

  Good” go without tea—and herself lies

  Till morning haunted by reproachful eyes.

  He’ll be the glinting, faithful heart of stone.

  *

  The Earth Brother

  Twelve tides pass. We take the Board upstairs

  Where beyond the glassed-in balcony

  Mt Lykabettos, green all year with pine,

  Rises steeply in sun. And here is Michael:

  DEAR CHILDREN, MY WITTY ELIJAH TWIN OF WATER IS WITH US:

  COME ELIJAH, MAKE US LAUGH!

  MY WIT IS NOT AS READY AS I WOULD WISH

  (Oddly subdued, in spite of Michael’s words)

  FOR I AM IN YOU, GOD’S CHILDREN: THE RIB, NOT THE FUNNY BONE.

 
I WAS GOD’S THIRD CREATION, SUMMONED FROM COSMIC DUST AND NAMED BY MANY COSMOS,

  AND WHAT ARE OUR FOUR NAMES BUT GREEK INVENTIONS?

  FROM COSMIC DUST O THINK ON THAT!

  IT MEANS I HAVE IN ME THE IRRADIATED METALS, I WHO MOST DREAD THEM, FOR I AM FRUITFUL EARTH

  IT MEANS I AM THE HABITAT OF THE CREATURE DUG OUT OF ME.

  MY TWIN DRAWS BACK & I ADVANCE, AND NOW OUR DANCE REVERSES

  FOR IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT HIS CHILDREN REDUCE THEIR NUMBERS, & THUS HE NUDGES THEM INTO THE MORE CONFINED SPACES,

  & THUS IT IS IN THE WOMB OF TWINS: WATER EVER RECEDING AS THE FETUS WAXES.

  BUT NOW MY SMALL BROTHERS, FOR ARE WE NOT ALL OF THE COMMON CLAY,

  (Here at the close, a strong, dancing motion)

  FAREWELL! I WILL ANOTHER TIME BE WITTY

  O ELIJAH BROTHER O WHY ABASHED? HE LEAVES THE SIGHT OF TEARS?

  DJ, face streaming: Oh but these aren’t tears—

  Reaction to the thrill—I can’t explain—

  I KNOW THIS, MY CHILD. IT IS HIS WIT NO DOUBT: OFTEN MOST BRIEF, ACCORDING TO THE NATURE OF COSMIC DUST

  JM: Indeed—those short-lived particles

  Created by the photons! Only at

  Molecular levels is there permanence.

  YOU ARE OUR OWN HAIL!

  As Michael goes, DJ: Our first exchange—

  We can talk back and forth, then, with the angels?

  O MY DEARS & THE VOICE LIKE THUNDER! MICHAEL SWUNG

  HIS PALM WE STARED FORTH FROM IT AT YR MOUNTAIN:

  IT IT IT SPOKE THEN TOOK A HUMAN SHAPE

  ALL MASSIVE ROCK & GREEN WITH BOUGHS FOR LASHES

  OF SUCH I MUST SAY WICKED MERRY EYES!

  I DO BELIEVE OUR SPRINGTIME WILL BE GAY

  IN THE OLD SENSE And did he look at you

  With special favor? WYSTAN MES ENFANTS

  TOOK A POWDER INTO THE NEAREST ROCK

  And saw? A CASE OF JEWELS MY BOY THE VOICE

  RANG ROUND ME & (IF I MAY BE IMMODEST)

  I UNDERSTOOD MY OWN LAST DECADES’ WORK:

  SUSTAINED BY WIT AS BY A WRY YOUNG FRIEND

  AS I LIMPED FORWARD GRITTY TO THE END.

  FOR IS IT NOT OUR LESSON THAT WE COME

  EACH TO HIS NATURE? NOT TO ANY VAST

  UNIVERSAL ELEVATION, JUST

  EACH TO HIS NATURE PRECIOUS IF BANAL

 

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