The Changing Light at Sandover

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The Changing Light at Sandover Page 52

by James Merrill


  Sweeping down Sandover’s long driveway—gone

  The next. A void within a void. Since then?

  Robert whistles, Uni stomps, both feigning

  Jollity as they approach the hedge

  UNI CAN NIBBLE IT TRIM WHILE I GIBBER & SQUEAK

  But at the heart of each is a pure ache

  —Maria, Wystan, George—which time might cure

  If there were time in Heaven, or these dead

  Weren’t so addicted to the loving cup.

  Maria, Wystan, George—they’ve gone, they’ve gone;

  Left without a trace UNLESS THIS (M)

  WHITE HOLE WE CARRY HEDGEWARD STANDS FOR THEM

  The schoolroom is still visitable, though.

  Early in October, forty-eight hours

  Before JM leaves Athens, au revoirs

  Are broken off by an old friend. 00:

  IT HAS REACHD LORD GABRIEL’S GLORIOUS ATTENTION THAT

  YOU HAVE UNANSWERD QUESTIONS: ‘LET US NOT DECEIVE OUR SCRIBE.’

  TOMORROW’S SUNDOWN VISIT WILL BE GRACED. MASTERS, FAREWELL.

  DJ: What questions? JM (guardedly):

  I’ve jotted a few notes down. Here, let’s see…

  “My Lords, as to the Alpha men themselves

  Accessorized with what new lobes, wings, valves,

  And deathless like those characters in Shaw

  Whose gifts amuse more often than they awe,

  Spare us a full account. Not that the nerves

  Can’t take it, but the word banks lack reserves

  To handle such a massive run on them.

  Did Babylon imagine Bethlehem?

  Could Uni have imagined H. G. Wells?

  No more can we these ‘men’ of Gabriel’s.

  So—lest they issue from the teller’s cage

  As cheap Utopian scrip (blurred smile of sage

  Framed by scrollwork) promising untold

  Redemption, ages hence, in fairy gold

  Laid up when the crash threatened, in our vault—

  No details, please. Call it the bank’s fault

  For disallowing values not conferred

  On our old stock by our old human word.”

  DJ: Then what’s the question? JM sighs:

  What indeed? Or does it all boil down

  To this: Resistance—Nature’s gift to man—

  What form will it assume in Paradise?

  *

  SIRS WE WAIT MR ROBERT & I

  THE SCHOOLROOM STIFLING DULL WITH DUST

  AH NOW THE LIGHT THE LIVE AIR!

  —Hiding as Nature and the Brothers enter.

  Nat.

  MUSICIAN, ALONE IN OUR FINISHING SCHOOL?

  RM.

  MADAM, LORDS, WE MISS OUR FELLOW STUDENTS,

  HAVE YOU NEWS?

  Nat.

  MUSICIAN, DO I NOT!

  OUR WITTY POET SURFACING OFF ALASKA AS A VEIN OF PURE RADIUM HAS HAVOCKED A NOSY RADIO SHIP. 58 IN LIFEBOATS!

  OUR SCIENTIST HAS JOINED MY GABRIEL AND (IN A CHARMING EXPERIMENT TESTING THE DENSITIES OF YOUR CHEMICALLY LADEN AIR WITH ELECTRIC CHARGES)

  LIT UP THE RUSSIAN SKY!

  Last week, what Tass described as a “huge star”

  Or “jellyfish” of fine downpulsing beams

  Hovered an hour above Petrozavodsk,

  Then pensively crossed the border into Finland.

  JM.

  That jellyfish was George?

  Nat.

  INDEED YOUNG POET.

  AND MY DAZZLING BRIGHT DARKEYED BABE LOOKS KEENLY ROUND THIS HIS 19TH DAY, MAKING SENSE OF IT.

  THUS DEAR ONES OUR OLD HEAVEN HANGING ON MANY BALANCES HAS THREE NEW TRUSTY PEGS FOR GOD’S INTELLIGENCE

  WORKING TOWARD THAT PARADISE YOU THREE HUMANS CANNOT DREAM ON.

  HOW WILL IT BE?

  IT WILL HOLD A CREATURE MUCH LIKE DARLING MAN, YET PHYSICALLY MORE ADAPTABLE.

  HIS IMMORTALITY WILL CONSIST OF PROLONGATION, IN THE BEGINNING PHASE, UNTIL HIS IDEAL IS REACHED IN NUMBER.

  THEN TIME WILL STOP

  AND LONG FRUITFUL SPACES BE GIVEN HIM TO LEARN THROUGH SONG AND POETRY

  OF HIS OLD HELPLESS FEELINGS & WEARY PAST.

  THE RESISTANCE? NONE. HE WILL, YES, SWIM & GLIDE,

  A SIMPLER, LESS WILFUL BEING. DULLER TOO?

  IF SO, IS THAT SHARP EDGE NOT WELL LOST

  WHICH HAS SO VARIOUSLY CUT AND COST?

  WE WILL WALK AMONG HIS KIND MADE NEW

  (THE MASQUE CONCLUDED, WE & OURS

  STEPPING FROM STAGE TO MIX WITH MORTAL POWERS)

  SAYING, AS OUR WITTY POET CRIED

  BACK TO YOUR SUNSET FACES: BONNE CHANCE!

  AND AS MY OWN SWEET BRIGHTNESS ADDED: ON WITH THE DANCE!

  FAREWELL.

  DJ.

  Farewell?

  JM.

  Farewell.

  Nat.

  WE WILL ALSO SAY: YOU SEE,

  IN ATHENS ONCE WAS AN ACADEMY…

  Exeunt.

  Or does She linger?

  I

  Am leaving, and with no time for goodbye

  Except to Robert. To the hedge have come

  Our regulars. They whom the vacuum

  Awaits peer toward us, tiny features bright

  As if with upper casements’ borrowed light.

  O HOW TOUCHING Robert squints to read

  The placard they have lettered: GOD B SPEED

  *

  Finale

  Our sunset faces. Back to David’s birthday,

  16 September 1977—

  As usual we’ve begun down in the hall.

  HAPPY RETURNS? ENFANTS A CHANGE OF (M):

  NOT A DEPARTURE BUT A WEDDING PARTY

  & HIGH TIME, EH? OUR OLDEST 55!

  AS WE THREE PLIGHT OURSELVES TO EARTH WORK LIFE

  SIGNAL THAT MOMENT UP THERE IN THE BLUE

  WITH SOMETHING OLD AND SOMETHING NEW,

  PULCINELLA OF STRAVINSKY? And Maria,

  A drop of courage given us by you—?

  CHAMPERS WE HOPE & STUDIED INDIFFERENCE

  TO THOSE SILENT WATCHFUL PRESENCES

  FOR THIS WILL BE THE CHILDREN’S HOUR

  NO TEARS

  BESIDE THE GOLDEN WEEPING BUSH MY DEARS

  Oh Wystan, we’ve still all these questions, wait!

  What did you embody of the Five?

  DJ: He’s gone. JM: Maman? ENFANTS

  How shall we speak of these things in Bombay?

  I’LL LEAD U ON BUT NOW It’s all right. Go.

  Meet on the terrace—6:15? JUST SO

  WHA’S PRECEDESSOR: YAN LI BORN 1855

  (Mirabell, up again to his old numbers)

  DIED AT 50. FROM A SOUTHERN PROVINCE, HE GREW UP IN

  A HERBALIST’S HOUSEHOLD, PUBLISHD VERSES, WENT TO PEKIN

  BECAME A COURT PHYSICIAN, HEARD FIREFLY WOMAN SING

  Wouldn’t you know—drawn even then to sopranos!

  WHA: ‘BEYOND DESCRIPTION GHASTLY’ & WAS SOON A

  FAVORITE OF THE PAIND & CRIPPLED EMPRESS. FATHERD SO

  RUMOR SAID, SOME 30 CHILDREN & MET A SUDDEN END

  EITHER THRU POLITICAL OR MARITAL JEALOUSY

  ALTHO THIS QUATRAIN TRANSLATED & ANTHOLOGIZED BY

  A METHODIST MISSIONARY (1921) SUGGESTS

  WHO THEY WERE WHO STABBD HIM NEARLY TO DEATH HE HAD A FEW

  LAST, CURIOUSLY SERENE MOMENTS FOR ITS DICTATION:

  ‘THE GARDEN BRIGHT WITH BIRDS & FLOWERS IN THE NOON HOURS
r />   LIES TRAMPLED UNDER GOATS’ FEET CARELESS IN THEIR LUSTFUL HEAT’

  DIED 1906

  Reborn as Wystan with new densities?

  INDEED & WHAT BUT HOMERIC ONES?

  “Immortal Bard, you who created me.”

  USED ALSO BY A 17TH CENTURY ITALIAN

  POET/SCULPTOR WHA LINKD ALWAYS TO STONE & WORDS

  6:00. Stone and words. The balustrade

  Pressing back the harder I press down.

  Three-story drop. A cat stares up in dread.

  Faces streaking through me of the dead,

  Traffic whizzing—how the old motor races!

  How simply, too, the urge is gratified:

  Just shut the eyes…

  But here inside my head

  No question of total blackout. Lights all along

  Following closely, filling the rear-view mirror,

  Forcing upon whichever of us drove

  Illumination’s blindfold—these lights now gather

  Speed to pass. Our own weak dashboard aura,

  Our own poor beams that see no further than needed

  Will have to guide us through the homeward ride.

  Still not alone. Despite the Doppler drop in pitch,

  That disappearing car will make things round the bend

  Shine eerily, a tree, an underpass of bone;

  Or else a dip between hills miles from now

  Will glow in recollection—

  As DJ

  Takes his place, beyond words, at my side.

  Music. Time. The orange sailcloth awning

  Rippled by waves of windless, deepening light.

  We kneel on orange cushions under it.

  Props include Board and cup; a looking-glass

  Iridescent seashells border, Robin’s gift

  From Malagasy; and this waterworn

  Marble wedge that stops a door downstairs.

  A blue-and-white rice bowl, brimming with water,

  Lobs an ellipse of live brilliance—but so

  Athrob there as to court vertigo—

  Onto the concrete wall our shadows climb.

  Slowly that halo sinks. The mirror’s oblong

  Gaze outflashes, thirsty for the wine-

  Green slopes where sobbing couples intertwine.

  While, to one side, our Cassia thick with bloom

  Sweeps the stones in a profound salaam.

  THE SCHOOLROOM ALL FESTOONED GEORGIE & WYSTAN

  CHAFE IN THEIR CUTAWAYS MAMAN IN WHITE

  SARI WITH ORANGEBLOSSOMS OUR 3 HEARTS

  ABRIM WITH LOVE FOR YOU ROBERT & UNI

  OUTSIDE, NOSES TO PANE, BUT CANNOT HEAR.

  UNI WEEPS (TOSS HIM MY BOUQUET FOR LUNCH?)

  AND NOW THE LIGHTS THE INSTRUMENTS THEY COME

  DJ.

  I’m no better than Uni—

  MM.

  AH MY LORDS

  As Nature and the Brothers quietly enter.

  MY QUEEN, HELP US IN A DIFFICULT MOMENT

  GK.

  DEAR JIMMY DAVE GO WELL IN MIND & BODY!

  WHA.

  YES OLD CONFRERE & FRIEND & MAKE OUR V WORK

  GLORIOUS U CAN U CAN YOU’LL SEE!

  Air freshened, leaves in expectation stirring—

  Only the too bright music hurts our eyes.

  MM.

  MES ENFANTS YES & EVEN OUR SILLY EPHRAIM

  PARTICIPATED IN SOMETHING NOT UNLIKE

  TODAY WHEN ON A SILVER SATIN PILLOW

  THE ENFANT OF FRANCE WAS CARRIED BAWLING INTO

  THE HALL OF MIRRORS. SO THERE’S PRECEDENCE

  BUT NOTHING TO EQUAL COME NOW: PLACES, PLEASE!

  JM.

  We’re ready.

  Pergolesi’s minuet

  Turned by Stravinsky to this “wedding trio”

  —Soprano, tenor, bass, movement of utmost

  Suavity—is playing as we get

  Our last instructions.

  MM.

  JM WILL TAKE THE MARBLE

  STYLUS & GIVING US THE BENEFIT

  OF A WELLAIMED WORD, SEND OUR IMAGINED SELVES

  FALLING IN SHARDS THRU THE ETERNAL WATERS

  (DJ CUPBEARER) & INTO THE GOLDEN BOUGH

  OF MYTH ON INTO LIFE D’ACCORD? HUGS KISSES

  WE’LL WRITE WHEN WE FIND WORK

  DJ.

  We do it now?

  MM.

  ONE MOMENT MORE SUNSET INTO THE LIGHT

  LORDS, ACCEPT THESE YOUR CHILDREN MAJESTY,

  BLESS OUR ENTERPRISES BLESS US!

  Nat.

  CHILD,

  POETS, SCIENTIST, HAND, ALL HEAVEN HOLDS ITS BREATH.

  NOW MICHAEL, RING DOWN THE CURTAIN! GABRIEL,

  THE STARS! RAPHAEL, ARMS OUT FOR THIS WISE & WITTY ONE!

  EMMANUEL FOR ALL THREE! GO WELL!

  AND YES, MY PROSERPINE, MY ARIEL,

  MY DEAREST DEAR, SLIP SAFELY INTO YOU!

  I WILL STAND HELPFUL TO THESE YOUR MORTAL FRIENDS.

  ADIEU

  Our eyes meet. DJ nods. We’ve risen. Shutters

  Click at dreamlike speed. Sky. Awning. Bowl.

  The stylus lifted. Giving up its whole

  Lifetime of images, the mirror utters

  A little treble shriek and rides the flood

  Or tinkling mini-waterfall through wet

  Blossoms to lie—and look, the sun has set—

  In splinters apt, from now on, to draw blood,

  Each with its scimitar or bird-beak shape

  Able, days hence, aglitter in the boughs

  Or face-down, black on soil beneath, to rouse

  From its deep swoon the undestroyed heartscape

  —Then silence. Then champagne.

  And should elsewhere

  Broad wings revolve a horselike form into

  One Creature upward-shining brief as dew,

  Swifter than bubbles in wine, through evening air

  Up, far up, O whirling point of Light—:

  HERS HEAR ME I AND MINE SURVIVE SIGNAL

  ME DO YOU WELL I ALONE IN MY NIGHT

  HOLD IT BACK HEAR ME BROTHERS I AND MINE

  CODA: THE HIGHER KEYS

  CONTENTS

  July 1978

  About Maria

  The Music to Come

  Ceremony 1

  Ceremony 2

  Ceremony 3

  Ceremony 4

  Ceremony 5

  Doings in Bombay

  Mimí

  The Guest List

  Mr E

  The Ballroom at Sandover

  O Ariel who from a golden

  Lidded compact beamed DJ’s

  And JM’s profiles into heaven blazing

  Above their table where the cups grew cold,

  Then snapped it shut: once more a lightly

  Made-up presence all in black

  To leave us, mind on her last-minute packing—

  Now to what destination does one write?

  Down to Earth a ray slants true as birdsong

  Through boughs in sparkling bloom too high to pluck.

  This onionskin the shower puckered

  Will soon be dry enough for words.

  July 1978

  Noon. Athens. Ten months later. JM’s led

  In shock from jet-lag to the “music room”

  Just off the hall—space named for its upright

  Tonedeaf piano, not much used. DJ


  Presses a switch. Outleaping from the gloom,

  Four cream plaster columns catch the light;

  A path through olives; there, beyond the grove,

  A little beached skiff, an Arcadian cove.

  Fresco—but who painted it? He did?

  Three weeks, sandpaper, gesso, turpentine

  And look! beneath the mildest of blue skies

  This ideal world lacks only one or two

  Dimensions for a future morning’s blue

  Instreaming alpha wave to realize.

  Yet from that house (a stone’s throw distant) years

  Flew by in the tall shadow of, no peep.

  The manor—is it empty? All asleep?

  Robert surely walks the rank parterres,

  Works at the piano, leaps the hedge

  On horseback. Still, we hesitate to call.

  Could we face it if we found the hall

  Alive with voices? or my final page

  (Every day brought nearer) anything

  But final? Ah, these are by now the risks

  One takes, remembering whose house it is,

  Their high connections and past kindnesses.

  Before we know it our half-hearted ring

  Is answered SIRS? as up dear Uni frisks,

  Followed by Robert. He’s alone. We’ve come

  None too soon. He leaves next week for life.

  Details last summer unavailable

  Are rapidly sketched in. The Minnesota

  Dairy farm. The sister five years old

  Obediently practising her scales—

  BABY WILL NEED DIVINO MOZARTINO

  FWOM VEWY START Then a rich widower

  For grandfather, our friend the sole male heir,

  CUSHY, NO? Perfection—pure Jane Austen.

  SHREWD GUESS DJ, PLOTTING JUST SUCH ARRANGEMENTS

  ON EARTH FOR LAB SOULS IS HER V WORK HERE.

  ONE SHADED VILLA IN A BOMBAY STREET

  HAS LATELY BROUGHT OUR PACKED HOUSE TO ITS FEET

  We’ll hear the rest another day. JM

  Must sleep first, wake, read mail. (Urania

  Loves her Nonáki, wants to visit him

  While they’re in Greece. Mimí describes from Rome

  The dress Vasíli bought her—but a dress

 

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