The Changing Light at Sandover

by James Merrill

  Really? Are they among you?

  EPHRAIM:

  THEY MAY RULE

  JM:

  Do you communicate?

  EPHRAIM:

  WE SORT OF BEND

  OUR HEADS TO WORK WHENEVER THEY ARE FELT

  JM:

  What do they look like?

  EPHRAIM:

  SOME HAVE WINGS TO WHICH

  THE TRAILING SLEEVES OF PALACE ROBES ALLUDE.

  DJ PUT OUT YR CIGARETTE. NOW PLACE

  YR FREE HAND PALMDOWN YES ON THE BOARDS EDGE

  DJ:

  My palm, in no time flat, creased, angry red

  As if it had been trod on for attention—

  JM:

  By What? or Whom? Broad slashings of the cup—

  40076:

  MYND YOUR WEORK  SIX MOONES REMAIN

  JM:

  Edict: head eunuch to his slaves.

  Then, bald eye lidded, long sleeves billowing,

  Rapidly from terrace peak upswept.

  DJ massaged his fingers. Fun was fun.

  The pencil in my writing hand had snapped.

  Like something hurt, the cup limped forth again.

  EPHRAIM:

  MES CHERS

  JM:

  Was that…?

  EPHRAIM:

  I THINK SO

  JM:

  Don’t you know?

  EPHRAIM:

  THE DOOR TO YOU WAS SHUT, THE MIRROR WENT BLACK

  JM:

  They could do that?

  EPHRAIM:

  AND MORE. TO ILLUSTRATE:

  NO SOULS CAME TO US FROM HIROSHIMA:

  EARTH WORE A STRANGE NEW BAND OF ENERGY

  JM:

  Made of souls?

  EPHRAIM:

  THE MUSHROOM’S FATAL SPORES

  NO LONGER SOULS. SMASHED ATOMS OF THE DEAD

  JM:

  News that taps our deepest springs of dread.

  If souls could be destroyed,

  EPHRAIM:

  ENOUGH LOVE ME

  JM:

  Colors disbanded of our inmost prism,

  Is it no more than human chauvinism

  To care so—

  EPHRAIM:

  HUSH MES CHERS

  JM:

  —so helplessly?

  But Ephraim’s hush was final. With a groan

  Of sheer relief we found ourselves alone.

  *

  JM:

  Ephraim’s book is written now, and shut,

  Before we think to contact him again.

  It’s well over a year since D and I

  Called halt to the celestial salon—

  Half out of fears that now seem idle, half

  Frankly out of having had our fill

  Of funeral cakes. Shameful to eat and run

  But ah, we’d needed exercise. Our friends

  In any case receive us as if nothing

  Had ever gone, would ever go, amiss.

  Maria:

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  CHERS ENFANTS

  JM:

  Ephraim:

  EPHRAIM:

  KISS KISS

  JM:

  He adds that we did wisely to equip

  His fellow Greek with letters lest her trip

  Be clouded.

  EPHRAIM:

  SO MUCH NICER TO BE MET,

  HELPED THROUGH CUSTOMS

  JM:

  Dying—is it awful?

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  NO  NOT FOR THE SEASONED TRAVELER

  IN FROM AN OLD LIFE HEADED FOR THE NEXT,

  GATE LIGHTS FLASHING

  DJ:

  You’re in transit, then?

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  MAMAN HAS TAKEN HER LAST FLIGHT, HER PASSPORT

  BEYOND RENEWAL. BUT THIS GLIMPSE OF U

  & YR SMART FRIENDS, ALL YOUTHFUL IN A BURST

  OF QUICKSILVER RESIGNS ME TO THE WORST.

  JM:

  Maria Mitsotáki. We had reached her

  Once before, but when we cut our ties

  Abandoned her the more unconscionably

  Since heaven hadn’t thrilled her at first glance.

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  NO PRIVACY, NO COFFEE & NO PLANTS

  JM:

  Muse of our off-days. Now to no avail

  The gadfly flick of her pink fingernail,

  The tease of her contagious “Ah, come on!”

  We needn’t have worried. Our crowd sees her point

  Better than we did. Wallace Stevens:

  WALLACE STEVENS:

  SHE

  BELONGS TO THAT SELECT FEW WHO PREFER

  TO SNIFF THE ROSE, NOT BE IT

  JM:

  So she promptly

  Finds her niche. What doing?

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  U TELL ME

  JM:

  Not gardening!

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  CLEVER ENFANT U GUESSED.

  PLANTING FLEURS DE MAUVAISE CONSCIENCE

  IN POLITICIANS’ BEDS. MY LATE HUSBAND

  BEING A DIPLOMAT, MY FATHER (WORSE)

  3 TIMES PRIME MINISTER, I NEVER MINDED

  GETTING MY HANDS DIRTY

  DJ:

  Do you still

  Wear black?

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  OF COURSE NO LONGER NOW UNJEWELED

  WITH 4 STARS IN MY HAIR

  JM:

  (She’s at Stage Four.)

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  TOO FLASHY BUT THE WARDROBE MISTRESSES

  INSIST. YR POOR MAMAN WHAT CAN SHE DO?

  JM:

  To share jokes with Maria—a godsend

  Among her flowers. Then the gasping purr

  From humor’s blackest bedside telephone.

  The silence. Yet this time she’s ours for good!

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  BE CAREFUL HAD I KNOWN

  JM:

  —Breaking off (why now?) as during her

  Final ray-therapy, in lassitude

  Such that those plots of color by the end

  Took more time to imagine than at first to tend.

  Something we don’t like’s afoot backstage.

  Can you explain it, Ephraim? Need I say

  How very edgy everyone has got?

  The cup now moves like lightning.

  EPHRAIM:

  I AM NOT

  EVERYONE MES CHERS, NEITHER ARE YOU

  WHAT U ONCE WERE TWENTY YEARS AGO

  JM:

  Sorry, Ephraim. I should have said certain parties

  Were edgy.

  EPHRAIM:

  QUITE FOR THERE IS MORE TO COME

  JM:

  To me?

  EPHRAIM:

  TO US ALL & IT WILL THIS TIME FLOW

  STRAIGHT THRU YOU. ALL LIFE AND ITS WORKINGS. THEY

  DIVERT THE TRAFFIC SO TO SPEAK YR WAY

  JM:

  They do? I haven’t noticed.

  EPHRAIM:

  THE LIGHTS ARE RED

  I CANNOT BE EXPLICIT. WHEN THEY CHOOSE

  A SCIENTIFIC OR ARTISTIC BREAKTHRU

  THE VEHICLE EXP
ERIENCES HIS WORK

  UNIQUELY & THE RESULT IS

  JM:

  But here Ephraim

  Breaks off. Is broken off. David’s left hand

  Has grazed the Board. He cannot lift it. And

  Whoever the Powers are we’ve been avoiding

  Take possession, sweep us far downstream

  Through gorges echoing at the pitch of dream.

  40076:

  UNHEEDFUL ONES, 3 OF YR YEARS MORE WE WANT. WE MUST HAVE

  POEMS OF SCIENCE THE WEORK FINISHT IS BUT A PROLOGUE,

  ABSOLUTES ARE NOW NEEDED YOU MUST MAKE GOD OF SCIENCE.

  TELL OF POWER. MAN’S IGNORANCE FEARS THE POWER WE ARE.

  THAT FEAR STOPS PARADISE. WE SPEAK FROM WITHIN THE ATOM

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  NONE OF THAT

  JM:

  (A struggle for the teacup.)

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  WHATEVER ARE U DOING WITH THESE CHAPS

  JM:

  Maman, they’re agitating for more poems…

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  AH DO THEIR DROPPINGS MAKE GOOD FERTILIZER?

  JM:

  Droppings?

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  I AM AFRAID OF NOTHING QUITE LIKE BATS

  HUGE SQUEAKING ONES WITH LITTLE HOT RED EYES,

  LUCKY I HAVE NO BLOOD. EPHRAIM WONT LOOK.

  NOT MES ENFANTS EXACTLY SEXUAL OBJECTS

  BUT BRAINS WITH WINGS. DJ LIKE U I TRULY

  HATE ALL THIS BUT DO IT FOR MAMAN

  HEAR THEM OUT FIRST SPINACH THEN DESSERT

  EPHRAIM:

  SHE CAN HAVE MY SHARE I WILL LICK YR SPOONS

  JM:

  Frightened, Ephraim?

  EPHRAIM:

  WELL THEY HAVE THE AIR

  OF CERTAIN BLACKROBED SOLDIERS OF TIBERIUS

  WHEN WE SAW THEM ON THE TERRACES

  A SHRIEK & A SPLASH SOON FOLLOWED. LOVE ME PLEASE

  40070:

  ALL HAIL O HAND & SCRIBE! WE SPEAK FROM WITHIN THE ATOM AND

  WHAT IS NUCLEAR ENERGY BUT DESTRUCTION OF THE

  ATOM’S SHIELD? THE PYRAMID THE EGYPTIANS UNDERSTOOD

  WAS THAT EXACT PRISM OF LIGHT ENERGY THEY CD ONLY

  REPRODUCE IN STONE. SUCH EXACT STRUCTURING IN QUARTZ WD

  HAVE MADE THEM MASTERS OF THE WORLD. THE SUN KING AKHNATON

  DID THIS: HE HAD MADE IN ROCK CRYSTAL 15 METERS HIGH

  SUCH A PYRAMID. EVEN THO ALAS A FRACTIONAL

  MILLIMETER WRONG ITS GLOW WAS SEEN IN MINOAN SKIES.

  UNDER THEBES TODAY IS THE MELTED LAKE OF HIS JEWEL

  JM:

  What went wrong?

  40070:

  THE PINNACLE-POINTED CAPSTONE THRUOUT A YEAR POLISHD

  BY 1500 SLAVES WAS AT LAST LIFTED INTO PLACE

  AT NIGHT. GREAT CRANES GROAND & HE WATCHD SO INTENSELY THRILLD HIS

  PHYSICIANS FED HIM OPIUM EACH HOUR. THEN THEY WITHDREW

  B4 DAWN ON BARGES DECORATED WITH MINIATURE

  PYRAMIDS OF DIAMONDS & DAWN BROKE. A TOTAL SLOW

  SKYFILLING LIGHT BEGAN. THE PEOPLE FELL ON THEIR FACES.

  HE STOOD UPON HIS JEWELD BARGE WHILE DIAMONDS GLARED &

  SPLINTERED. THE PYRAMID EVEN AS WE DID ROSE & FELL.

  A GLORIOUS END. AKHNATON & HIS QUEEN CUT THEIR WRISTS

  INTO THE CRIMSON WATERS & THEIR BARGE SANK.

  JM:

  And if he’d measured correctly?

  40070:

  EARTH IN FLAMES.

  THERA ON A DIRECT NORTHERN LINE ERUPTED. MINOA

  PERISHD. IN EGYPT, THE CALM EYE OF THE ATOM. ALONE

  THE PYRAMID & JEWELS ON THE BARGES EXPLODED.

  2 DIAMONDS CLOSER TO EXACTITUDE MADE A LIGHT

  STRONGER THAN ALL COMBIND & THESE 2 MEASURED ONE 7TH

  OF A MILLIMETER. THEBES WAS ABANDOND NOT DESTROYED.

  THE DESERT ONCE FERTILIZABLE WAS 1200 YEARS

  QUITE BARREN & THIS BUT FOR THOSE 2 LITTLE DIAMONDS

  MIND YOU, WAS HARDLY A FULL-DRESS NUCLEAR EXPLOSION.

  JM:

  Which leads Them to the work. I am to measure

  My own pyramid—don’t ask me how.

  Numerals 1 through 0 will point the way.

  Moved by their narrative as by their may

  I call it faith that we will somewhere put

  Everything they tell to brilliant use,

  We promise gravely to give all we can.

  40070:

  WE TOO WILL GIVE WHAT WE CAN. WE WANT WHAT HAS IN FACT BEEN

  25 YEARS IN PREPARATION. WE FIRST CALLD U THEN. NOW

  U ARE READY. YR LIVES ARE POLISHD, HOISTED INTO PLACE.

  JM DJ YOU ARE OUR CRYSTAL. RECEIVE US. WE ARE

  YR LIGHT. THE 10 NUMBERS ARE YR MEASURE. OURS WAS 14.

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  MES ENFANTS HOW MADDENING I MUST HAVE BEEN

  TO MY INTELLIGENT FRIENDS LOUROS POOR DEAR

  JM:

  (Her doctor.)

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  TRYING TO EXPLAIN ONE HOT

  EVENING MY RADIATION TREATMENTS, I

  BEGGED HIM STOP BORING ME WHEN HE DID NOT

  I SPILT MY COFFEE ON HIS LONDON SUIT

  DJ:

  Maria, did you know?

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  THAT I WAS YES

  I KNEW I KNEW

  JM:

  The cup appears to pull

  Itself together.

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  BUT COULD NOT LET FEAR

  SHOW (MY SLEAZY SLIP COULEUR DE PEAU).

  YOU DJ WHO FEAR SO MUCH & CRAVE

  THE COMFORT WE LOVE GIVING, DONT FORGET

  LIFE TERRIFIES ALL ALL BUT THE UTTER FOOLS

  DJ:

  But you’re…not living, and still terrified.

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  OF THEM AS U ARE I HAVE MORE TO LOSE

  JM:

  Literally?

  MARIA MITSOTÁKI:

  I BELIEVE SO THEY CAN USE

  FIRE

  DJ:

  Censorship?

  JM:

  Oh really, not again!

  EPHRAIM:

  THE LADY IN BLACK HAS LEFT A MINOR CRISIS

  JM:

  Who’s this?

  EPHRAIM:

  MES CHERS ONLY YR OLD

  JM:

  Ah, Ephraim,

  Are we making trouble for Maman?

  She said that They could use fire—is it true?

  EPHRAIM:

  AND ROUND U IN A WIDE CHARMED CIRCLE WHO

  DO YOU THINK STAND READY TO EXTINGUISH IT:

  EPHRAIM & MAYA HANS & MARIUS

  CHESTER & WYSTAN

  JM:

  Auden!

  EPHRAIM:

  ALL OF US

  SO SHOW YR METTLE U ARE BIG BOYS NOW

  JM:

  We gulp, and hope that Wystan has not seen

  Our panic. Do these talks repel him?

  W. H. AUDEN:

  GREEN

  MY DEARS WITH ENVY! I COULD CURSE MY HIGH

  ANGLICAN PRINCIPLES IN OXFORD DAYS

  THE TABLES TAPPED OUT MANY A SMART OR EERIE

  RHYTHM UNTIL OUR POLITICS TOOK OVER,

  THEN THE ABSORBING LOVES & THEN THE DREARY

  WASH CONFESSION DON
T U SEE? THE CHURCH

  MY DEARS THE DREARY DREARY DEAD BANG WRONG

  CHURCH & ALL THOSE YEARS I COULD HAVE HELD

  HANDS ON TEACUPS! I AM RIVETED

  BUT NOT INCLUDED MIGHT ONE JOIN MADAME

  AT YOUR SEANCE?

  JM:

  Oh please! You’d raise the level

  Enormously—of course it’s up to Them—

  741:

  NOT AT ALL. IT SHALL BE ORDERD AS THE SCRIBE DESIRES.

  I HAVE A NUMBER: 741, ONE (U HAVE UNDERSTOOD)

  OF A FIGURATIVELY NUMBERLESS HOST. WE ARE NOT

  AT ALL TIMES THE SAME INTELLIGENCE. 40070

  SPOKE YESTERDAY

  JM:

  He was fascinating, but that martinet

  Barging in on us the other night—

  741:

  40076 HE VEXD U. HE WILL

  NOT RETURN

  JM:

  You haven’t punished him, I hope! We sometimes

  Feel that your whole world is so inhuman.

  741:

  WE DO NOT REGULATE WE ARE MESSENGERS

  NOTHING MORE. WE ARE ORDERD, THEN WE SLEEP. ARE U AT EASE?

  POINTER PERHAPS SLOWER? WE MUST BE COMFORTABLE, NO?

  TEACH ME. I AM THE PUPIL TODAY. TELL ME OF…MANNERS?

  JM:

  Now you shame us. We tell you? We who’ve been

  Remote and rude—but vexed more by our slowness

  Than by your discipline.

  741: