Chapter Two
Beowulf
It’s been another three days, and she still hasn’t stirred.
“Wulf, you need to go get some decent sleep and bathe, for goodness’ sake. You smell like a pub, and not the good kind.”
I yawn, cracking my neck to the left and right. “There’s a good kind?”
Leiva blushes and swipes her hand on her apron as she gets the basin ready for Lilith’s bath. “You know what I mean, Wulf. Go. If she wakes, I’ll tell you.” She gestures her hands at me to get on, but I don’t move.
“I’m not moving, Leiva. I must see her wake up.”
Leiva is young but wise beyond her years. She places her hand on my arm and pats it, reassuringly like a mother would. “Wulf, you must consider the possibility that Lilith may not wake up.”
“I’ll never, for one moment, think of that as an option, Leiva. Lilith is strong. She’ll find her way back to me.”
“Be strong and smell decent for her then, when she wakes up. I must give the girl a bath, and I find it rude and intruding if you are here, no matter your feelings for her. You don’t deserve to see her lady bits just yet. Out with you, you big brute. Out!”
Leiva shoos me, and this time, I’m not sure how she manages, but she gets me out the door, slamming it in my face and locking it.
“Leiva! You mad bat! Let me back in.” I pound on the sturdy wood, but all I hear is her humming. She’s ignoring me. Wonderful.
“Wow. Never thought you’d managed to get yourself kicked out of the medical wing. Leiva is so nice. How do you even make her angry? She is the most soothing person I know,” Trident chuckles, leaning against the wall.
“Shut up,” I grunt. “I must bathe, apparently.” I walk by him to go to the kitchen, and Trident coughs, fanning in front of his nose.
“Good goddess, Wulf. You reek. How long has it been?”
My stomach rumbles when I see a large turkey in the middle of the table. I love this part of the castle. Food is always on the table. All day and night for anyone who is hungry. We never have to starve again. It is marvellous. I tear off a giant turkey leg, the skin perfect and crispy, and juices explode in my mouth as I bite into it. I groan. Damn it, Leiva was right. I needed to eat and bathe. I hate being wrong.
“I don’t know, four… five days?” I mumble through a mouthful of food. I walk around the table, tear off the other leg, and make my way through the kitchen again to get upstairs. I’ll eat the second leg in the bath.
“Why have you waited so long?” Trident grabs me by the arms to stop me from going up the steps.
I slow my chewing and point a half-eaten turkey leg at him. “Don’t fucking touch me. You know how I feel about that. Not that it’s any of your business, but my best fucking friend from when I was sixteen showed up half dead. Excuse me if my attention wasn’t on bathing. Fuck off, Trident.” I yank my arm from his hold and stomp my way up the stairs, tearing into the piece of meat like a wild animal.
“Wulf, come on. I’m sorry.”
I pay him no mind. I’m in a pissed off mood now. Does no one understand my loyalty to my friend, the woman I love? Why must I explain everything? Isn’t it written all over my face? I’m tired, I’m worried, I’m freaking the fuck out and playing scenarios in my head of what will happen when Lilith wakes up. I need everyone to leave me alone, give me space, and just let me be with Lilith, who I haven’t seen in twelve years.
I place one of the turkey legs in my mouth and bite down so I can open the door to where the bath is. When I step inside the room, the window is already open. I toss the bare bone of the other leg out the window for the dogs.
I pump the well, letting the water fill the basin, and then light the fire underneath to get it warm. I don’t bother waiting for it to heat, I just undress and sink into the cold water. My skin pebbles, reacting to the lower temperature, but it doesn’t stop me from tearing into the turkey meat.
I lift my feet and place them on the end of the basin, grunting and shifting around to get comfortable. Damn thing is too small for a man my size. I sit in silence, leaning my head back, and think about how I got here.
If the Vikings were still all those hundreds of miles away, near the sea, I may not have ever seen Lilith again. If it wasn’t for Lord Grimkael, who used to be my warlord, meeting Lady Sassa, a part of my heart would still be missing.
Traveling to this kingdom, I must admit, was something I doubted. I thought we would be unwelcomed, but we settled right in with the village, and after the King’s death and Sassa’s coronation as Queen, things have been running smoother than I thought. Minus the Jackal problem.
I toss the other turkey leg out the window, not even almost full, and start to bathe. Leiva is right. I must look good for Lilith when she wakes, and that means I can’t smell like I’ve killed anything within the last week. I take the handmade soap and scrub my body. I lather my hair and dip under the warming water, making sure to get all the suds out.
Knowing Lilith can’t wait any longer, I step out of the bath and grab a towel to dry myself off. Once I’m done, I wrap the towel around my waist and open the door to walk across the hallway to get to my room for fresh clothes. Since I won’t be training for the next few days, I sidestep the armor I dropped to the floor and grab a cotton shirt, undergarments, and pants. I run my fingers through my damp hair. Just in case she wakes up, I want her to like what she sees.
One thought that has crossed my mind a time or two is, what if she doesn’t recognize me? I don’t look the same. I’ve grown into my big body, gotten taller, I have a short beard, which I didn’t have at sixteen, and my hair is long. My eyes are the same. Still a crystal-clear blue. She always said, when I looked at her, the blue of my irises pierced her soul, they were so sharp. She loved them. Sometimes, I’d just catch her staring at me, giving me shit about my long lashes and how men shouldn’t have them because they don’t appreciate them like women do.
I told her I didn’t have girly fucking lashes. I have manly lashes. The kind that has seen war and blood. And nothing I ever said after that made her laugh as hard as that did. My heart clenches at the memory of her laugh. It’s musical. I used to want to sing along to it. When she wakes up, I’ll carry her to the lavender field so she can feel the sun on her skin like she loves and make her laugh once again.
Hope blooms in my chest at the thought of my future changing with her. “Right, you big brute. When she wakes up. You should smile. Let’s see the damn thing,” I mutter to myself as I stare in the mirror. It’s been years since I’ve grinned. I take a deep breath and lift my lips until my teeth show. “Oh, shite!” I stumble back, tripping over my feet and land on my arse. Not many things scare me…
But that did. That was just unnatural. Warriors should never smile.
I get up, brush myself off, and place my hands against the wooden dresser that holds my clothes for the time being and look at myself again. “Let’s try this again. You are one scary mother fucker when you smile, Wulf.” I’m going mad. I’m talking to myself to figure out how to crack a fucking grin.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Trident asks, humor in his voice as he stands in the middle of the doorway.
I hang my head, not wanting the embarrassment on my face to be seen. “Nothing. Fuck off, Trident. Don’t you know how to knock? For fuck’s sake,” I growl, pushing off the dresser and strolling over to the bed to grab my sword. I never go anywhere without it.
“Come on, Wulf. I’m your friend. I’m here to help you.”
“Swear you won’t laugh, or I’ll kill you, friend or not,” I warn, debating if I really want to trust him with this… predicament.
He crosses an X over his heart. “Swear to the good goddess.”
I rub my eyes with my fingers. “I’m practicing my smile for when Lilith wakes up, and I don’t think I know how to smile.”
“Ah, that’s a load of horse shite, I’ve seen you smile...” His words fade when he realizes he has not seen me show an
y amount of happiness. “Right, so you’ve never smiled. But it’s a natural thing. You can’t really be bad at it.”
“Truly?” Why am I having this humiliating conversation again?
“Aye. Smile. Think of Lilith; I don’t know, awake and talking. Give me your best ‘I’m so fucking happy you’re alive’ grin.’
I turn to face him, and my muscles twitch when I curl my lips into something sort of like a grin.
“Oh, goddess,” Trident takes a step back and runs his hands through his hair, horrified. “Right. It seems you haven’t done this in a while, aye?”
“The only person to make me smile is unconscious right now, so aye, you could say it’s been a while,” I grumble, yanking on my socks with frustration. I can kill three men at once, but bloody hell, I can’t manage to tilt my lips up?
“It’s fine. We can practice. We need you to look like you haven’t gone half mad and killed half the country, is all.”
“Is that it? Great. Forget it. And don’t tell anyone about this.” I stomp by him, but he grabs my arm again, a habit he seems to be making.
“Listen, you don’t confide in people. I know that, but I can see how much you aren’t holding up. This is important to you, so it’s important to me. I shall never tell a soul, I swear it, Wulf.”
I nod. “Thank you, Trident. I must go see her now. I don’t want to waste any time not being around her.” I start to stride down the hall, but his voice stops me.
“Word of advice?” he raises his voice a bit, and it echoes throughout the hall.
I peek over my shoulder and lift a brow, waiting for him to say what he needs to say.
“Don’t force it. A smile will happen naturally.”
It will happen naturally.
I let the words bounce around in my head as I make my way down the stairs. I lift my fist to the door and pound. “Leiva, I am clean, and I ate. Let me in.”
“Please. Let me in, please,” Trident whispers behind me as he walks out of the castle. “Were you raised in a barn?”
“Are you always around?” I grit, watching him leave. I lower my voice, looking around to make sure Trident isn’t near. “Please, open the door, Leiva.”
The locks slide, and the old wood creaks, revealing a small young woman with zero patience on her face. “Was that so hard?”
“No, ma’am. Apologies.” Leiva makes me cower like a small boy. Just like my mother did. And that scares me since it comes from a woman over a hundred pounds lighter than me.
She opens the door the rest of the way. “Come in, Wulf. There’ve been no changes.”
I’m relieved just as much as I am sad. I want her to wake, but I only want her to wake up when I’m by her side.
“Thank you, Leiva.” The words are foreign when they leave my mouth. I’m not a well-mannered man, but I must do better now that Lilith is here.
“You’re welcome. Go sit next to her. I’m going to go make some more paste for her cuts. I’ll be a minute.” Leiva hurries away into the back, disappearing into her cave to make the life-saving paste she has used on me dozens of times.
I look around the room and notice all the beds are empty besides the one Lilith is in. I make my way to her and sit in my usual spot to take her hand. I’m not sure how long I sit there, just waiting, hoping she will wake up.
“Anything?”
I didn’t even notice Warlord Einarr, Lady Thyra, and Lady Sassa come into the room. They are making a village around her bed.
“Nay, nothing yet.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, her thin, bony fingers tighten around my hand.
My eyes widen. “Did you see that? Did anyone see that? Leiva! Leiva, she moved!” I call, hovering over Lilith as her eyes move behind her lids.
“Come back to me, Angel.” I plead, brushing her hair out of her face.
Everyone is muttering, whispering words I’m tuning out. My only focus is on Lilith. “Come on, come to me,” I beg. I need to see the eyes that I’ve loved my entire life.
“Don’t rush her, Wulf. Everyone is different when they heal. She shall come to when she is ready,” Leiva tells me, pushing by the small crowd that has gathered around us. She grabs the inside of Lilith’s wrist, checking her pulse.
It seems the entire kingdom is here now, including Trident. Privacy is impossible these days.
Lilith lets out a soft groan, struggling to open her eyes. Those long blonde lashes flutter, and I chuckle, smiling with relief when I can finally see the honey-colored eyes I love so much.
“Lilith? Oh my goddess, I’m so glad you’re awake. You’re here. You’re back.” I cup her face with my hand, and her eyes are wide and alert. She lifts a frail arm and knocks my hands away.
“Who are you?” she croaks, grabbing at her throat, staring at me as if I’m nothing but a stranger.
“It’s me. It’s Wulf. You know me,” I choke, my voice breaking as I struggle to keep myself together.
“I have never seen you before in my life,” she says, her golden eyes wide with fear. I’ve never seen her afraid of me, and my goddess, nothing has ever hurt me so.
Everyone in the room falls silent, but the mournful sound of my heart breaking is loud to my ears, shattering all hope I had. The love of my life has forgotten me. And I have no idea how to make her remember.
Chapter Three
Lilith
I blink up at the man who has the most piercing blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Or at least, I think I’ve seen, since I can’t seem to remember anything. They are so blue; they remind me of the color of a winter’s frost across the lake… I think. Since I can compare it, I must remember it, but the actual image of frost over a lake I can’t picture.
I can’t remember anything.
I start to panic. I dart my eyes around to see a few dozen people staring at me. My chest starts to rise and fall quickly. I can’t seem to breathe. What’s happening? Where am I?
“Who are you people?” Tears fill my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I can’t let them fall. Something in the back of my mind tells me I’ve cried long enough. No more. No one will get the satisfaction of seeing me cry ever again.
“It’s okay. You’re safe. I promise,” the man speaks again. His deep voice calms me. It sounds familiar and safe. Even though he eases my distress, the man seems devastated when I tell him I can’t remember him. He straightens, and that’s when I see how tall he is and broad. He has long thick brown hair, and the hair on his chin is a little unruly, but he seems like an unruly man, so it fits him. He is very handsome. I feel my cheeks heating from staring at him too long, so I glance away and turn my attention to someone else.
But no one else captures my attention like the blue-eyed man.
Even though I don’t remember him, he could just be saying he knows me for another reason and wants me to believe him. But I peek back at the man with blue eyes and they tell me otherwise. His heart is broken. And for some reason, my heart tells me this man is telling the truth. I can’t remember the last time I listened to my instincts and right now, the only thing I have the urge to do is crawl into the man’s lap and have him hold me.
I’m too frightened for that. The new me, now, doesn’t know him. He is a stranger to me, no matter what the voice in the back of my head says.
“Lilith, do you remember that is your name?” he asks.
“Yes,” my voice comes out as a rasp like I haven’t spoken a word in days. Yes, that is my name. At least I know that.
“Good. My name is Wulf. I’ve known you for a long time. You were injured recently. Do you remember what happened?”
He sits on the edge of the bed, turning his back to the crowd. His voice breaks as he speaks, and he clears his throat. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was getting emotional.
I don’t say a word. I’m too nervous with so many people staring at me. I don’t feel well. My head starts to spin. I place my hand against my forehead and groan. A sheen of sticky sweat breaks across my skin, but the heat eases when a
cold cloth is pressed against my forehead.
“Everyone get the fuck out! You must give her space. All of you go!”
“Don’t be rude,” I manage to scold him in a weak voice.
He lets out a sad chuckle. “Even though you don’t remember me, you still talk back to me,” he mumbles, but I’m not too sure what he means by that.
I watch as one by one, everyone leaves, whispering to one another and giving me one last glance before disappearing out the door. One woman stays, though. She seems young, but the way she stands and composes herself makes me wonder if she has lived a hundred lives.
Her hair is pulled back tight into a bun, and a serious expression masks her face as she looks at Wulf. “This is all too much for her right now, Wulf. You must come back later.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Not until she understands what happened to her,” he snaps.
“You’re being rude, again.” The way I slap his arm reminds me of a habit like I’ve done it a hundred times before. I bring my arm awkwardly down to my side, wondering why I’m automatically so comfortable around him.
“I’ll continue to be rude, too. I’ve been here night and day. I’m not leaving your side now.”
“What?” I sputter, my jaw dropping to my chest. This man, this stranger, stayed for me? Why?
His fingers slide under my chin and close my jaw, and the man, Wulf, gives me a half-smile that makes my breath hitch.
“Even though you don’t remember me, I remember everything of you, Lilith. I would never leave you alone while you are healing, especially since you’ve been gone for twelve years. I couldn’t ever manage to leave your side.”
The pain in his voice makes me reach out and take his hand. “I’m sorry that I don’t know you. Your voice sounds familiar and makes me feel safe. That’s all I have right now. I’m so sorry.”
Twelve years? Did he just say twelve years? No. I must still be waking up because that’s just impossible.
Vikings' Brides 4 Book Box Set Page 51