“I don’t believe you have anything that would interest me,” Eleanor hissed under her breath.
“I believe I do. Something to do with your virginity,” he grinned, winking at her.
Eleanor stopped short. “What are you speaking of?” she demanded.
“Hush, my sweet. You would not want to alarm anyone with an outburst,” he cautioned. “After dinner, meet me out in the garden. Oh, here we are.” He pulled the chair out for Eleanor, just as Sebastian approached. Eleanor sank down into the seat, as her knees suddenly did not want to support her.
Sebastian studied Eleanor’s face, noting how pale she looked, and wondered if this dinner party was a good idea after all? He thought her getting out with her old friends would lift her spirit, but apparently it was just wearing her out. “Are you all right?” he whispered in her ear. “You do not look well. I could return you home if you wish.”
Eleanor forced a smile. “Oh no, I am quite fine. I am having a wonderful time. You are right I need to get reacquainted with all my old friends. There is so much catching up to do. Dutton has promised to bring me up to date later,” she smiled, nodding towards Dutton, and Dutton reached under the table and took her hand, refusing to release it, as she sat helplessly beside him. His other hand reached over and stroked her knee, and then gave it a squeeze, and she glared at him, only to meet his condescending shrug.
“I hope you are recovering satisfactorily, and having a good time,” Dutton drawled.
“Yes. I am so looking forward to what news you have to share with me,” she returned, glaring into his eyes, and he laughed out loud.
Heads turned, and he gave everyone a broad smile. “Just a private joke between Eleanor and myself,” he explained.
Sebastian eyes peered past Eleanor at Dutton, and then back to Eleanor, but she refused to meet his eyes. Dutton released her hand so she could pick up her fork, but not before she had kicked his ankle under the table first.
Eleanor studied her plate, as she ate, not trying to join into any conversations, with either Sebastian or Dutton She noticed Teddy leaning towards Brenda as they shared a private conversation and Percy was animatedly sharing something with Nelly. She had never seen Nelly so alive before, and it suddenly dawned on her that Nelly liked Percy. This bothered Eleanor, because she did not trust Percy and was certain he may try to take advantage of Nelly in the same manner he had taken advantage of her. Nelly had a name and a fortune. If Percy decided to offer for her, he could pay off his debt to his uncle and get out of working for him. Eleanor narrowed her eyes as she watched them laughing together across the table.
“Feeling jealous of your cousin flirting with Percy?” Dutton, whispered in her ear. “Considering what you two have shared, I would be feeling the same way, if I were in your place.”
Eleanor turned her head abruptly. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” she whispered back “I have reason’s not to trust the man with my cousin.”
“She looks like she wouldn’t mind his advances,” he returned, with a leering smile.
“Well, if I have anything to do with it…” Sebastian had placed his hand on hers under the table, and caught her attention.
“You are visibly trembling, sweet,” he breathed in her ear. “I fear you may have a relapse.”
“I am perfectly fine,” she responded, pulling her hand from his. “I am having a wonderful time.”
By the look on her face, he did not believe it, and he suspected something was going on between Dutton and her, only he did not know who Dutton was, and what part he played in her life. It was really none of his affair, except for his worry about her welfare.
Eleanor suffered through all the courses of the prolonged dinner, as her mind jumped between her worry over Nelly and what Dutton had to say. He suspected something, but she was positive he could not really know the truth. She kept comforting herself with the thought. When at last the men adjourned to the smoking room, while the women met in the drawing room, she managed to slip out into the garden to wait for Dutton. She just wanted to get this all over with and put it behind her.
Eleanor was sitting quietly on the garden bench, shredding a flower between her fingers, when Dutton strolled nonchalantly up to where she sat. He stood before her and looked down at her, a satisfied smile plastered over his face, as he watched her squirm with reluctance in having to suffer his company. Well things were going to change in that area, he vowed mentally, as he looked down at her. Her fingers were stained with the color of the petals of the flower she had destroyed, and he chuckled to himself.
“Well, well, what have we here? The prim little lady in red, who holds men off with a mere glance or a well placed word, not to mention a slap, and now I have her at my mercy,” he drawled. He lowered himself beside her, and took one of her hands in his. “A pity to stain your lovely fingers. Here. Let me help you.” He took each finger and placed it in his mouth, sucking against the stain, while he looked into her eyes.
Eleanor snatched her hand away from his grasp, and he merely laughed. “I never thought I would see the day when I finally had you over a barrel,” he admitted, with a sardonic grin stretching his well shaped lips. Dutton was a nice enough looking man, but Eleanor did not like his leering ways or his aggressive manner.
“Speak what you have to say,” she pushed between clenched teeth, “and be done with it!”
“It is all so very sad, I can barely believe it myself. Perhaps you did not know that Percy came gloating to me about the wonderful time he had with you in that barn.” Eleanor took in her breath. “He did not leave any details out, so there is no use you denying it. Had you agreed to marry Percy, after he went to so much trouble to do the right thing by you, I would not be speaking of it to you now. After all I pledged my silence, for the return of my Hunter, but that was to keep from smearing the name of Percy’s future wife. Since you have refused to become Percy’s future wife, I do not consider myself held to that promise. But oh, there is so much more.”
Dutton began chuckling again, as he placed his arm across Eleanor’s shoulder. “A little matter about a flower girl and a ship hand. Percy told me to keep an eye on you, to make sure you did not get into any trouble while he was gone. It was merely to protect you, I am sure, but the things I discovered while keeping an eye on you. You certainly amaze me, Eleanor, and make me believe you should have no problem agreeing to my terms.”
“Terms?” Eleanor questioned, her eyes widening, as she stared back at him. Dutton moved his face within inches of Eleanor’s, as he continued to speak. “Oh, I saw how you flirted with your friend Ned, on the dock. I saw how you followed him onto that ship, and yes, later I saw you jumping into the ocean without a stitch of clothes on. I would have saved you myself so you would ever be in my debt, only Sebastian beat me to it. And even then I would have remained quiet, had you accepted Percy’s offer. Now I know how much Sebastian wants you. Perhaps he does not mind taking on damaged goods, so a little more damage could not possibly matter.” He smiled at her knowingly, as his lips came closer to hers.
“What are you suggesting?” she asked in disbelief.
“That if you do not want me to expose you for the wanton woman you really are, you will have to satisfy a little of my own lust. Starting now by allowing me to kiss you, without the slap,” he breathed, as his lips came ever closer, and brushed against hers. “Put your arms around my neck, like you mean it, and don’t struggle in my arms, or pull away until I am good and ready to release you,” he ordered, as he took her arms and placed them around his neck. “That’s a good girl. You wouldn’t want your dear aunt and uncle to discover what type of so called lady they have raised up in their home to be an influence on their sweet shy daughter, would you?”
Eleanor sucked in her breath at the statement. “And of course, Sebastian would have nothing to do with you, once he learns how you had thrown yourself on one of his ship hands, and dressed as a flower girl to get away with doing it. Apparently you were so occupied
with the lad, that you didn’t realize the ship had sailed,” he surmised. “To think that cold exterior of a beautiful woman was dallying around with anyone she could find that suited her, all along. Percy probably was not the first one. Perhaps even Teddy fell pray to your charms, but oh how you do pick and choose. It is time you choose me, my dear, or be exposed for the person you really are.”
“You wouldn’t! How could you, and still call yourself a gentleman?” Eleanor breathed.
“Oh, but I could, and what ever makes you think I am always a gentleman? So do not prolong my anticipation any longer,” he hissed against her lips. “It is your turn to do some play acting with me now,” he directed, putting his arms firmly around her, so she couldn’t escape.
Eleanor sat staring at his piercing eyes, as he was gloating at his good fortune. She could feel his hands rubbing over her back, pulling her even closer, until she was pressed up against him, her breasts being pushed against his chest, as he positioned his head to receive her kiss.
“You must kiss me, and I am waiting,” his hot breath touched her mouth as he spoke. “Certainly I am no worse than a mere ship hand,” he prodded.
Eleanor’s heart sank, as she realized where her unthinking actions had brought her, and she closed her eyes, as tears escaped her lids, slowly leaning into Dutton’s waiting mouth, and placing her lips on his. As soon as she had done so, he pulled her even closer, if that was possible, bruising her lips beneath his own. She started to resist, but he gave her hair a small yank, to remind her of the conditions of the kiss, and she relented, allowing him to continue, and trying not to pull away in disgust.
Sebastian rounded the corner of the garden trail, remembering he had seen Eleanor pass by the smoking room window, and assumed she needed some air, out in the garden, but when she did not return when the women met again with the men, he became concerned, and decided to look for her. He realized Dutton had been mysteriously missing from the smoking room as well, and feeling that something about Dutton seemed to upset Eleanor, he decided he had better go investigate the garden, just to make sure she was all right. When he came up on the scene before him, he could not believe what he was viewing. The two were in an embrace so intimate, with Eleanor clinging to Dutton as he kissed her passionately. It was not a short lived kiss but continued as Sebastian watched on in disbelief. She had kissed him during their picnic, but not as longing and deeply as she was kissing this man. Was that the reason she had refused to marry him, or Percy? Had she been having an affair with Dutton all along?
He felt his face grow hot, and his breath come faster, and he had to fight against the urge of striding forward and separating the two, and then smashing Dutton’s face in. Once he managed to gain control of himself, he turned on his heel and left back down the garden path.
Eleanor heard a noise and, glanced over Dutton’s shoulder to see Sebastian retreating down the garden lane. He had seen her! Heaven help her, now things were going from bad to worse, as she felt her life dissolving about her. What difference did it make now, if Sebastian discovered the truth? He had already seen her in Dutton’s arms. She tore herself away from Dutton, and rose to her feet.
“There, you have your kiss,” she shrieked. “But that is all you shall have! Spread what rumors you please. I shall no longer be a party to your blackmail!” She raced from his sight, tears streaking down her face as she ran blindly down the path.
A hand reached out and stopped her progress, and she almost fell, as Sebastian brought her to a sudden halt. But his painful grasp on her arm kept her from falling altogether. She took one look at him and tried to twist free from his strong hand.
“What is going on?” he hissed at her as he refused to release her.
“Nothing. Nothing!” she cried, her tears coming faster, dampening the front of her dress.
“It did not look like nothing to me,” he growled.
“All the more reason why I am not the woman for you,” she sputtered through her tears.
“Because you are in love with Dutton?” he stated the obvious.
“Love Dutton? Never,” she spat.
“So you just go around kissing men you have absolutely no feelings for?” He gave her a little shake as he placed his other hand on her other arm.
“No…yes…I don’t know,” she cried in confusion. “It is not what you think it is,” she added.
“Then just what is it?” he demanded.
“I can’t tell you,” she vowed.
“Like all the other things you can’t tell me about, like jumping off of my ship in the nude?” His hands sunk into her skin, and she winced at the pain.
“You are hurting me,” she whispered in a strained voice.
“Not as much as you are hurting me,” he growled back.
“I am not intentionally trying to hurt you,” she defended. “Far from it. I have told you to forget about me, but you won’t. You won’t and it is not my fault if you finally discover the truth, and the truth is too painful for you to deal with.”
“What truth would be too painful, beyond you kissing men you have no feelings for, while refusing to kiss me in the same way?” he reasoned. “If you are dead set against marriage, and it is just a romp in the hay you want, I can be accommodating,” he spat.
“No, that is not what I want. You don’t want to know the truth. And if you find out…” She wrenched free of his grasp, and continued down the path, without finishing the statement.
Why would she be kissing Dutton like that, if she had no feeling for him, he wondered? Dutton would know, but for some reason he felt Eleanor would never forgive him, if he questioned Dutton about it. He had to get the truth from her. He had to make her trust him enough so she felt comfortable confiding in him. But he just wasn’t sure how to go about it. So far, nothing he had tried was working.
When Eleanor returned to the house, she went straight to Teddy and took hold of his sleeve. “I am not feeling well, will you take me home?” she begged.
“You look terrible, Eleanor, and you have been crying. What ever is wrong?”
“I am in pain,” she told him, which was the truth. “I cannot remain her a moment longer. Give Brenda, my regrets when you return to pick up Nelly.” She would never speak Percy’s name again, she vowed. Not after what he had told Dutton about them.
“I thought Sebastian would take you home if you wanted,” Teddy said quietly, not really wanting to leave the affair, even though he could return.
“Of course I will take her,” Sebastian said at her elbow.
She gave him one scathing look and shrugged. “If you insist,” she mumbled.
“I insist,” he replied, and took her arm, gently, this time, guiding her out the door to the entry way. “Let’s not quarrel,” he whispered. “I see you are not up to it, and it is none of my business anyway. I was just stunned, is all. I had hoped…but of course you know what I have been hoping and it seems to make little difference to you.”
Eleanor did not answer, she continued to follow him, but when she started to stumble, he merely lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the buggy.
“You don’t have to carry me,” she protested.
“Eleanor, always remember, you can lean on me. What you do may shock me, but I can be an understanding person, if you will only give me a chance to prove it to you.”
“You did not understand me kissing a man I loath,” she whispered. “How could you ever understand anything about me. I don’t even understand myself!”
“Something is terribly wrong, if you are kissing a man you loath. Let me help you, Eleanor. I beg of you.”
“You can’t help me. The damage is already done. There is nothing you can do about it now,” she insisted. “Just take me home. I have been feeling sick to my stomach all day, but I had promised Teddy I would come to this affair. I whished I had never consented to do it.”
“I hope this does not make you have a turn for the worse,” he said hastily.
“Nothing could get wo
rse,” she said under her breath, as he placed her on the seat, so she didn’t believe he had heard her. All she wanted was the seclusion of her room, where she could make plans to escape all of this. If she just didn’t feel so weak and nauseated, she would leave it all as soon as he returned her home, she thought. But then, there was no place for her to go, and so she would just have to take shelter in her room for a few days. She did feel ill, so she had a good excuse to retreat there, she decided, until she could think straight enough to make definite plans.
By morning, she was not feeling any better. She had put off thinking about what her next move would be. She couldn’t erase the thought of Dutton’s kiss. Nothing could wash off the stench she felt at the way he had forced her to his wishes. She was glad she had decided against Percy. She was discovering what kind of person he really was. How could he gloat over what they had shared in the barn? At the time she felt it had to do with fond feelings and love, but it had nothing to do with that. It was almost as bad as Ned using her, only Percy managed to get her consent first. Now Dutton knew, and soon everyone would know, including her aunt and uncle, and Teddy. What would teddy think, once he found out? He would thank his lucky stars she had continued to turn him down. That is what he would think.
She didn’t even want to think about Sebastian. He already had lost his respect for her, watching her kiss Dutton in the garden, knowing she was doing it regardless of the fact she loathed the man. He was trying to be understanding, but understanding and then feeling disgusted about it was more than she could face at the moment.
Her illness must be coming back, she thought, as she hurried to the toilet room to retch. But she had not felt sick to her stomach before. It had been more of a congestion than being sick to her stomach, so why was she feeling this way? Then Eleanor suddenly froze. She had not had her monthly course, but she thought it was because she had been so sick, that her body had just gotten out of regularity. Come to think of it, it was about time for the next month’s course to start, and that had not happened yet either. It could not be true, she thought in shock, and if it was, who would the baby belong to? There were only two choices, she thought frantically, and she would never know for sure.
Defiant Heart Page 14