Dirty Deeds

by D V Wolfe

  I didn’t know what to say. So there was a demon trying to kill me and at least one trying to save me? That might be too dramatic. One that went out of their way to make sure we weren’t eaten by cannibals. But still, why? If Festus didn’t have a clue, I knew that wasn’t going to be a question with a quick answer. Maybe he’d be able to find something out when he went back downstairs. I shifted my weight and I felt the metal of the symbol on the necklace dig into my leg.

  I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to Festus. “Does this mean anything to you?”

  I could tell Festus wanted to drop the thing as soon as it touched his hand, but to his credit, he didn’t. He held it by the chain, his arm straight, dangling the symbol as far away from him as he could.

  Festus tossed the towel he’d been drying his hair with onto an unsuspecting Noah and ignored Noah’s shout of annoyance. He pointed at the black stone with the pinky on his free hand. “That’s a soul-stone.”

  I squinted at the black stone. “Well, at the risk of sounding like an idiot, what’s a soul-stone?”

  Festus smiled. “Bane, if you didn’t take the risk of sounding like an idiot, you would be permanently mute. Not a bad decision on your part, going mute…” I glared at him. “A soul-stone is what is produced when a human soul is ‘drunk’ by a demon. The soul-stones are a bit like...currency. They are far more precious than anything you mortals possess.”

  “Well, why would Sister Smile and Mastick have one?”

  “Quite simple,” Festus said. “They were hired by a demon.”

  Festus moved to retrieve his towel from Noah and I followed him.

  “What do you mean ‘hired’? Why?”

  Festus wiped his armpits with the towel and tossed it back onto Noah who was in the process of eating his way through half a pizza. “Soul-stones are given as payment for something. A service rendered. Sometimes they are given upfront as all agreements are made with both parties knowing that if the job isn’t completed to the satisfaction of the payor, the payee forfeits payment and usually his life. Or...her life.” Festus handed me back the necklace.

  “Why don’t you keep it,” I said, trying to hand it back to him.

  Festus sprang away. “Going back to the office, carrying that would be like you rolling in bacon grease and going out to stand in the woods. You keep it. Better yet, drive back by cannibal land and pitch it out the window.”

  “Why?”

  Festus narrowed his eyes. “Are you being stupid or sarcastic?”

  I shrugged. “Generally, I’m a little of both, but right now, I’m actually asking. Why?”

  “Because,” Festus said with an exasperated sigh. “The demon who made the payment is going to come looking for the soul-stone or the job to be done, usually both. Reneging on a promise and taking payment back after the job is accomplished is kind of a status symbol downstairs. And when the demon comes to where the stone is and finds out the job isn’t done...well, let’s just say that that is where the phrase ‘all hell will break loose’ comes from.”

  I looked down at the necklace in my hand. “So, the demon who made a deal with the cannibals is going to come looking for this thing. Like it’s some kind of homing beacon?”

  “Yes…” Festus said slowly.

  “Excellent,” I said, tucking it into my pocket. Festus’ eyes grew wider.

  “No, no. Give it back to me. I’ll get rid of it.” Festus held his hand out to me.

  I shook my head. “Noope. He’ll have to come find me if he wants his toy back.”

  Festus put his head in his hands. “You do realize that the deal they made with the cannibals, was most likely to kill you, right?”

  “That would make sense,” I said. “I mean, why would they have left you, specifically, alive if it wasn’t to lure me into their reindeer games?”

  Festus gave me a dirty look. “So glad that I could be a part of this hostage situation.”

  “Nothing like a seat in the front row.” I grinned at him. He looked very, very tired. “Festus,” I said. “I’m glad you’re ok.”

  “That makes two of us,” Festus said. “Now, I think I’m going to use this crowd to cover my hasty retreat.” He met my gaze. “I’ll see what I can find out about the deal that was struck with the cannibals while I’m back on fire island.”

  “Oh,” I said, something coming to me. “By the way, you wouldn’t happen to know if demons were capable of causing fae ‘will sickness’, would you?”

  Festus’ look was deadpan. “Faes. Like fairies?”

  I nodded.

  Festus raised an eyebrow. “Will sickness?”

  I nodded again. “Like they become murderous when they’re normally just tricksters?”

  “Maybe they’re not getting enough fairy fiber in their diets?”

  I sighed. “So is that a ‘no’ on demons being able to control faes?”

  “I’ve never heard of it being tried, attempted, or even thought of in the deepest hours of boredom by any demon I’ve ever heard of. Who would want to control...fairies? It sounds like something mortals would want to do.”

  “A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed,” I muttered.

  “Well, no then,” Festus said. “I’ll see you in a few days once I’ve gotten my paperwork in order.” Festus was slightly pale and I saw a thin trickle of sweat breaking out on his hairline. There was a grim set to his mouth and I had the feeling that ‘paperwork’ caused more than papercuts where he was going.

  “Be careful,” I said.

  Festus met my gaze and I saw a flash of the vulnerability I’d seen before. Then it was covered by his semi-permanent look of annoyance and boredom. “Of course. See you soon.” He moved through the crowd of people and I saw the front door open. I followed him, getting to the door just as it closed. I looked around outside. He was gone. Something was glowing on the sidewalk in front of the house. A few red embers, like the discarded cherry of a lit cigarette.

  Vince and Mick were the next to leave. They had bought some refills on supplies from Hilda and they’d commandeered the rest of my whiskey. “For emotional damages caused by the physical damage to the Jeep,” Vince said.

  I held my hands up in surrender. “Send me the body shop bill.”

  They went around the room, saying their goodbyes and I walked outside with them. “Thanks for answering the call, even though I’m sure you both had better stuff to do and you hate eastern Oklahoma storms and you’re not too fond of me.”

  “Yeah, well, there wasn’t anything good on TV,” Mick said. I hugged them goodbye.

  “We’ll be seeing you,” Vince said with a grin.

  I sighed. “Of that, I have no doubt.”

  I watched them take off from the curb.

  “Bane!” Gabe shouted behind me. I turned back to the house. “Your phone is ringing!”

  Joel? Nya?

  I hustled back inside and took it from Gabe. It was Walter.

  “Hey Bane,” Walter said. “I’m so sorry I missed all your calls. There must have been some kind of interference happening because it sounded like you could reach my voicemail but I couldn’t reach you at all. Anyways, how did Sicily go? I’m only seeing sunshine and a cool breeze from there right now.”

  I stifled an inward groan. “You don’t see something like a single thunder cloud roaming around there? Maybe in a black Lincoln Town Car?”

  Walter paused. “Noooo. Why?”

  “Sister Smile played us. Played me. She got away.”

  “But the tribe is gone,” Walter said. “My vision. For the first time, I had a vision change. I saw it again, just as it had been. The tall man, calling down destruction, the earth shook. The tornadoes this time became a storm, blowing all around you. You fell. But this time, you got back up. You triumphed.”

  It sure as hell didn’t feel like a ‘triumph’. “We lost one. Joel. Sister Smile took him.”

  I heard Walter let out a sigh. “Damn. Joel was a good hunter. Is a good hunter. Unless…”

/>   “We don’t know. Maybe she killed him. But why take him with her?” A sick thought occurred to me. Food for the road? Please. Not that.

  “Well, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the last two days,” Walter continued. “As soon as I talked to Gabe about the incoming fronts, I realized what it could mean if both you and Gabe were looking into the tribe, so I called the Salvation and Sicily city halls and told them I was from the National Weather service. I told them we’d detected problems with the meteorology equipment in their areas and told them about the storms and the possibility of tornadoes. Being that both towns are used to tornadoes, they sent out the call and evacuated their towns into church basements, town storm shelters, friend’s houses with basements, anywhere they could take cover until the storm passed.”

  I slumped down onto the arm of the couch behind me. That’s why there were no innocents in the park. Thank god. Though, the women. They must have been caught before or maybe on the way to Sicily. “Walter,” I said. “You saved thousands of lives by those phone calls.” I paused. “What was going on in Salvation?”

  “It was the damndest thing,” Walter said. “It was some kind of demon gathering, but I felt it. It didn’t really start getting underway until last night. I just predicted it early.”

  I stood up. “Walter, is it still happening?” I felt in my pocket. I had the truck keys. Lucy was still loaded up.

  “No,” Walter said. “Whatever they were doing, they cleared out of there pretty fast.”

  I slumped back down onto the arm of the couch. “I see.”

  “Well, glad you’re all ok. I’ll keep an ear out and I’ll give you a call if I see or feel anything that might be related to Sister Smile and Joel.”

  “Thanks, Walter,” I said. I hung up.

  “Well thank god for Walter,” Rosetta muttered, ten minutes later after I’d filled them all in on what Walter had said.

  I nodded. “Good to know he’s not constipated in the visions department anymore.”

  Noah sighed. “Seriously, what is it with you and the Walter-bathroom metaphors?”

  “Well, I’m tickled pink to meet all of you,” Hilda said, standing up.

  “But Hilda has a customer coming in twenty minutes,” Rosetta interrupted, “And is too polite to tell us to get the hell out.”

  We helped Hilda straighten up and I paused next to her at the front door. “Hilda, I can’t believe I had the dumb luck of finding you when we needed you the most. Can I pay you?”

  Hilda shook her head. “You already did. Though, you were a little short. Not quite all of us made it back. But you’ll find him, so the interest rate shouldn’t be too high on that one.”

  I nodded and looked down. “Can I at least pay you for my...bat?”

  “Nah,” Hilda said. “You might want to look into some alternatives though. That bat probably has one more battle in him before he’s toast.” She shook her head, looking down at the broken wing and his head which was now only hanging on by the fur on one side. “You sure are hard on your things.”

  I nodded and gave her a gentle hug. “Thanks, Hilda.”

  “Oh this was fun,” Hilda said, leaning on her cane. “I like to get a little recreational hunting in from time to time. Helps remind me why I don’t do this shit anymore.” I grinned. “I’ll talk to my contacts around the state. Some are hunters, some law enforcement. We’ll see if we can find that Town Car.” Hilda smiled at Rosetta who had come out on the steps behind her. “Rosetta gave me your phone number. If I hear anything, I’ll give you a call.” Hilda looked back at me and then at Rosetta and nodded. She patted Rosetta on the shoulder and turned, heading back inside.

  Rosetta and I were alone. We looked at each other.

  “Rosetta,” I started, taking a deep breath and trying to get my apology out before she tore into me. “I’m so sorry.”

  Rosetta held up a hand. “Me too.” She grinned. “Now, that’s enough of that. I know you’re too busy for it, but I’m going to be making fried chicken and Huckleberry Buckle on Sunday for dinner and if you could stop by...I promise you don’t even have to stay for dessert if you don’t….”

  “Oh I’ll be there,” I said. “And I’ll definitely be staying for dessert.”

  I hugged her, and for the first time in our friendship, I was hugging the air out of her rather than the other way around.

  “Oh good,” Stacks said from behind us. “You two made up. I didn’t think I could stand anymore…”

  Rosetta and I turned to glare at him.

  Noah had come out on the steps. He surveyed the scene and put a hand at the back of Stacks’ neck. “Eyes down, don’t look at them. Keep your mouth closed and walk.” Noah marched Stacks’ down the steps and over to the Cadillac. Tags and Gabe followed him out the door. I looked over at Tags and he avoided my gaze and looked at Rosetta. I turned to see her smiling and she tipped her head in my direction and then nodded at Tags. I looked back at him to see relief and a smile spreading across his face.

  “You had to check to see if you were still pissed at me?” I asked him.

  “Always good to know which way the wind is blowing before you spit,”

  Tags said. Rosetta shielded her eyes from the sun and glared out at Stacks and Noah. “Wilford “Stacks” Crosby, if you scuff my seats, climbing in the back like some kind of animal, I’m going to tan your hide!” She took off down the steps and I turned back to Tags.

  “You know, you can still be mad at me,” I said. “I won’t hold it against you. Gary…”

  “Was a hunter,” Tags said. “Who died on a hunt.” Tags pulled me into a hug. “I’m always going to be mad, Bane. And I can’t promise that you won’t catch it on occasion, right in the face, but know that it’s just me, being mad at life.” He pulled back and grinned. “When I’m mad at you, I mean really mad at you, you’ll sure as hell know.”

  I hugged him again. “I don’t doubt that.” There was a shout of pain and we all turned to see Rosetta yanking Stacks out of the back of the Caddie by his ear.

  “‘Scuse me,” Tags said. “I have a homicide to postpone.”

  “At least until you get somewhere without so many witnesses,” I called after him.

  “Wanna place money on whether the three of them make it back to Rosetta’s in one piece?” Gabe asked.

  I sighed. “No bet.” I turned to look at him. “So...did you fix that voice mail problem of yours?”

  Gabe nodded, his gaze locked with mine. “Yep. Feel free to call and leave all the voicemails you want now.”

  I tried to read his expression but it was guarded. “So what’s next for you?” I asked.

  “Order business. I have to go finish the crap I was doing before Rosetta sent up a flare.” He grinned. “But I’ll be around.”

  We stood close for a moment, playing chicken to see who would be the first to make a move or leave. We both chickened out. We turned and headed down the stairs. Noah was hurrying down the sidewalk and I could see the ‘discussion’ behind him that was gaining volume was the reason why.

  “Wanna bet on which one of them kills the other two?” Noah asked, jogging up to join us. We all watched the Cadillac pull away from the curb.

  “No bet,” Gabe and I said. We waved and they turned the corner, disappearing.