A Mother's Grace

by Rosie Goodwin

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘But I don’t want to go,’ Grace sobbed later that day when her mother told her of her plans for her. She had decided it might be best for all of them if Grace went to stay at Aunt Gertie’s for a while. ‘I don’t want to leave you.’ She was still in shock from what had happened the night before.

  ‘Don’t be silly, darling. I have Batty, Harry and Mabel here to look after me,’ Madeline told her softly. ‘The nurse I have just hired to take care of your father arrives late this afternoon and it will do you good to get away.’

  ‘She’s right, pet,’ Mabel added, her face strained. ‘There’s nothin’ you can do here an’ we’ll see as your mam is taken good care of. If anythin’ things will be better now that …’ her voice trailed away but they all knew what she had been about to say. Now that your father can no longer bully you all!

  ‘Very well then, I’ll go. But I shan’t stay for too long,’ Grace whimpered. It appeared that the decision had been made for her. Her mother seemed to have summoned some new-found strength from somewhere and for the first time Grace could remember she seemed to be in charge of things.

  ‘Good, then I think you should leave tomorrow,’ Madeline said. ‘I’ve already spoken to Aunt Gertie and as always she’ll be pleased to see you. There’s no sense in delaying. The sooner you are away from here the better, as far as I’m concerned. Now go up and pack whatever you think you’ll need. I’ll get Harry to go with you on the train.’

  But at this Grace shook her head. ‘I’m sixteen now, Mother, and hardly need Harry to accompany me.’

  Madeline looked doubtful but she didn’t argue. ‘Very well. But I shall still get Mr Llewelyn to meet you off the train at the other end of the journey.’

  Grace was agreeable to that at least and quietly went off to do her packing.

  Madeline looked at Mabel helplessly.

  ‘You’re doing the right thing,’ she assured her mistress. In fact, it had been Mabel’s suggestion that Grace should go away for a time. ‘She still can’t remember anything after her father entered the room last night so it’s far better that she’s not here for now in case it all comes back to her. We need things to settle down so that you don’t get into trouble.’

  ‘But what if my husband improves and tells what happens?’ Madeline answered anxiously.

  Mabel shook her head. ‘I doubt there’s much chance of that happening so I should prepare yourself.’

  Madeline nodded before heading for her husband’s room again.

  He was awake, and as she approached the bed he stared at her with reddened eyes full of hatred and grunted with frustration.

  ‘Not so full of yourself now, are you?’ Madeline eyed him with contempt and not a single ounce of pity. ‘You have bullied me for years,’ she went on, her voice little more than a whisper but his hearing appeared to be intact if nothing else, for his eyes stayed fixed on her and she knew that he had heard every word she said. ‘But it all ends here. Grace is packing even as we speak to go and stay with Aunt Gertie and I intend to see to it that you never have access to her again. Furthermore, should you recover, I shall be joining her, so you will be free to entertain as many of your friends here as you wish without exposing our daughter to danger. But’ – she leaned so close to him that he felt her breath on his cheek – ‘I will tell you now, I hope with all my heart you don’t recover!’

  He tried to shake his head but the effort was too much and he groaned, an inhuman sound that touched her not at all. She had known for years that his feelings for his daughter were unnatural. He had kept the girl a virtual prisoner in her own home but now Madeline intended to make sure that Grace could have a life free from his strict rules. ‘And so,’ she said finally, ‘now that I have hired a nurse to care for you, I shall not come in here again unless it is to see you being loaded into your coffin.’ And with that she turned and left the room without so much as a second glance.

  ‘Perhaps I should just go in and say goodbye to Father?’ Grace suggested tentatively the next morning before Harry took her to the station.

  ‘No, darling, there’s no need for you to do that,’ Madeline soothed, then they clung together, their tears mingling. Somehow, they both knew that because of what had happened their lives were never going to be the same again.

  ‘Just always remember how much I love you,’ Madeline choked, and then she pushed her towards the door where Harry was waiting with her case.

  As promised, Aled Llewelyn was waiting for her at the station in Pwllheli and he greeted her with a hug, noting that Grace was not at all her usual self. It had been four years since she had last visited and he was shocked at the change in her. The child he so fondly remembered was gone and in her place was a girl on the verge of becoming a young woman.

  Little was said on the way to Beehive Cottage despite Mr Llewelyn’s best attempts to start a conversation so eventually he fell silent, leaving Grace alone with her thoughts. Her aunt and Cerys hurried out to greet her when they arrived and they too saw how subdued she was and put it down to the fact that she was concerned about her father’s seizure.

  As Aunt Gertie ushered her into the cottage the first thing Grace saw was a broad-shouldered young man sitting at the table plucking a chicken that was intended for their supper that evening. At first, Grace didn’t recognise him but then he turned to look at her and her heart skipped a beat. He had Myfanwy’s blue eyes and jet-black hair and she realised with a little start that this was Dylan, her brother. They had not seen each other since they were children and she was shocked at how much he had changed. He had grown considerably and was quite tall now. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and she could see the muscles rippling in his strong arms as he methodically plucked the bird’s feathers, sending them flying into the air to settle like snow on the flagstones. He in turn was noting the change in her and very much liking what he saw. Grace was still quite petite but she was slim and her red hair and green eyes were quite striking.

  He inclined his head and smiled and she blushed.

  ‘Now come along, Dylan,’ Aunt Gertie scolded him in her usual forthright way. ‘We’ll be having that chicken for supper tomorrow night the time its taking you to pluck it.’ Then turning to Grace, she said, ‘We have some soup keeping warm for you until supper’s ready.’ Grace opened her mouth to tell her aunt that she wasn’t hungry but Gertie held her hand up before she got the chance to speak. ‘And I’ll not take no for an answer, young lady. Even though you’re almost grown up now you shall still do as you’re told!’ And so Grace dutifully took her place at the table as Aled whipped her case away to her room and Cerys carried her food to her.

  ‘There we are, cariad.’ She beamed at her. ‘And it’s right pleased we are to see you, though it’s a shame it couldn’t have been under happier circumstances. It’s right sorry we are to hear how ill your father is.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Grace mumbled as she bent her head over her soup bowl. Aunt Gertie made no comment whatsoever. The truth of it was she detested Jacob Kettle with a vengeance and it wasn’t in her nature to be a hypocrite and express sympathy that she didn’t feel. As far as she was concerned he deserved all that was coming to him.

  After forcing some of the soup down, Grace handed an envelope that her mother had sent for her to give to Aunt Gertie and the woman quietly read it, then crossing to a small bureau she put it safely away in one of the drawers.

  The chicken was now well and truly plucked, and after cleaning it Cerys popped it in the oven while the cats chased the feathers about the floor causing mayhem.

  ‘And to think I only gave it a good scrub this morning,’ she grumbled as she chased the cats outside with a broom. She saw Grace stifle a yawn and suggested kindly, ‘Supper will be a good couple of hours yet. Why don’t you go up to your room and catch a quick nap while it’s cooking? You look fair worn out after that long journey.’

  ‘I think I will.’ Grace smiled at her and hurried upstairs. As she stepped in
to the room where she had spent so many happy hours with the only true friend she had ever had, the memories came flooding back.

  ‘Oh, Myfanwy, I wish you were here,’ she whispered brokenly to the empty room. ‘Everything is such a mess!’ In her mind’s eye, she saw again her mother standing over her father with the bloodied brass candlestick clutched in her hand. Her father had tried to rise and it was then that he had made the terrible gurgling sound and clutched at his chest before dropping back to the floor.

  The rest of that night had passed in a blur as Grace lay trembling in her bed. And now she was banished to her aunt’s, or at least that was what it felt like. Deep down she knew that it was for the best but she was desperately worried about her mother. What if the doctor realised that her father’s seizure had been brought on by an attack? Would her mother be sent to prison? And would her father ever recover? Then there was the awful feeling of guilt that was weighing heavily on her. Shouldn’t she be hoping that he would get better instead of wishing for him to die? It was evil to wish someone dead, the Bible told her so, but she couldn’t help it.

  Crossing to the window she stared out to the sea in the distance. The rain was lashing at the glass as if it was trying to gain entry and the landscape was wild and windswept and yet still it managed to look beautiful. Grace sighed and silently prayed for peace.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ‘So, how is my father?’ Grace asked her aunt as Gertie placed the phone back on its cradle after speaking to her mother. She had been there for almost a week now and it was the longest week she could ever remember. As yet she hadn’t ventured out of the house, not that the weather lent itself to venturing outside unless it was strictly necessary. The strong winds and rain had been replaced by freezing fog and frost and Aled had forecast there was snow on the way, which meant they might well be snowed in again if it fell thickly.

  ‘There’s no change,’ her aunt informed her.

  ‘None at all?’

  Gertie shook her head. ‘But your mother sounds well. Better than I’ve heard her for some long time, in fact, and she sends you her love and said to tell you you’re not to worry about anything. Apparently, the nurse she has hired is very efficient and your father is receiving the best of care.’

  Grace nodded and began to pace restlessly about the room. She loved her aunt and she loved staying with her, although the visits no longer held the same magic they’d had when she’d had Myfanwy to keep her company. But then she supposed it was also due to the fact that she had been just a child then. She was a young woman now and soon she would have to decide what she wanted to do with her future. She was still pacing when the door opened and Dylan stepped into the room admitting a blast of icy air which made the fire roar up the chimney.

  ‘Shut the door, cariad, you’re letting the warm out,’ Cerys scolded. She was rolling out pastry to make a rabbit pie for dinner, but despite her scolding she smiled at him warmly before teasing, ‘And what brings you back so soon? Two visits in one week, indeed, when we’re usually lucky to catch a glimpse of you once a month.’

  When Dylan blushed furiously, Cerys had to hide her amusement.

  ‘Tad is doing some repairs to the boat today so we couldn’t go out.’ When he glanced towards Grace and blushed an even deeper shade of red, Cerys’s suspicions were confirmed. If she wasn’t very much mistaken her grandson was rather taken with young Grace and she was pleased with the idea. In her opinion, he could do far worse for himself than this sweet girl.

  ‘Then in that case you can take this young lady out for a walk,’ she told him with a wry grin. ‘Afore she walks a hole in the floor. A breath of fresh air would do her good.’

  Grace opened her mouth to object but seeing the determined look on Cerys’s face she decided it might be simpler to do as she was told.

  Shortly after, when Grace had wrapped up warmly, she and Dylan set off and headed in the direction of the cove. Grace was a little tongue-tied. She had never been alone with a young man before and was painfully aware that her father would have strongly disapproved of the fact.

  ‘So how long will you be staying?’ Dylan asked eventually.

  Grace shrugged. ‘I’m not too sure to be honest. My father is ill and …’

  When her voice trailed away he glanced at her sympathetically. ‘That must be very worrying for you.’

  Grace flushed and chose not to answer. How could she without making herself appear very heartless? There was a strange expectant stillness everywhere, even the birds were not singing, as if the world was waiting for something to happen.

  ‘So you fish in the winter as well as the summer, do you?’ Grace asked, hoping to bridge the silence that had fallen between them.

  With his hands thrust deep into his coat pockets, Dylan nodded as he kicked at a stone. ‘Oh aye, we fish all year round, weather permitting. We would have been out today had we not had a problem with the boat. No doubt me dad will fix it and we’ll be back out tomorrow.’ He looked at her directly then and asked, ‘And do you work?’

  Grace shook her head. ‘Not as yet. Funnily enough I was only thinking about what I might like to do this morning.’

  ‘Any ideas?’

  ‘I thought perhaps I might like to be a teacher. Or perhaps a governess, I haven’t really had any training for any other sort of work but I have helped the local vicar’s wife run the Sunday school and I enjoyed that.’

  ‘I see. Will your father agree to you doing that sort of work? From what I’ve heard your aunt say about him he sounds to be quite strict.’

  ‘He is,’ Grace conceded. ‘And if it were up to my father I wouldn’t work at all. He says there’s no need for me to work but I’d like to.’

  ‘I can understand that.’ Dylan grinned. ‘Ever since I was a little lad all I’ve wanted to do was go to sea with me tad and I can’t really see me ever doing anything else now. It can be a hard life, particularly in the winter when the sea is rough, and we’ve had more than a few close calls, I don’t mind telling you, but I’m content and I suppose that’s what matters.’

  Grace glanced at him with a new respect. He was very open and honest, much as his sister had been, and thoughts of her brought a sudden lump to her throat.

  ‘I … still miss your sister,’ she told him falteringly and she saw pain flash briefly in his eyes.

  ‘So do I … we all do,’ he admitted. ‘But me mam reckons as long as she lives on in our hearts she’ll never be far away.’

  They had reached the cliff top now and they stood side by side enjoying the view of the sheltered little cove far beneath them.

  ‘Myfanwy brought me here once to peep at some baby birds in a nest on the face of the cliff,’ Grace told him, and for the first time she smiled at the memory.

  He chuckled. ‘Myfanwy was a tomboy. Me mam allus said she should have been born a lad. She was always into mischief. Do you want to go down there?’

  Grace nodded so they headed towards the steep path that led down the side of the cliff. It was a hard descent and by the time they reached the sand Grace’s cheeks were glowing and she was out of breath. Frost had formed on areas of the beach and in the eerie grey light that had suddenly settled about them it shone like strands of silver ribbons.

  They walked in silence for a time, listening to the waves lapping the shore, content in each other’s company, but then Dylan suddenly sniffed the air and said, ‘I think we should be heading back. It’s going to snow any time now and the climb back up the cliff is bad enough without having to slip and slide all over the place.’

  They hurried towards the cliff path. Grace had witnessed how quickly the weather could worsen in Wales and she had no wish to be stranded on the beach. They had almost reached the top when the first flakes of snow began to flutter down.

  As Dylan took her hand to help her up the last few steps his heart began to race. There was something about Grace that attracted him as no other girl ever had. Since she’d arrived, he’d found that he was constantly thin
king about her, and when he was with her he felt happy.

  The realisation made colour flood into his cheeks and once Grace was on safe ground he released her hand so abruptly she almost stumbled.

  She glanced at him questioningly but he was striding towards the woods, keen to be back at the cottage. By the time they reached the back door the snow was already beginning to settle and Grace was breathless.

  ‘Just in time,’ Aunt Gertie commented as they stumbled into the kitchen.

  Grace was shivering and after noting the way Dylan shepherded her towards the fire, Gertie glanced at Cerys and grinned.

  ‘So, did you have a good walk then?’ Gertie enquired as they all sat down to a meal. The rabbit pie stood steaming in the middle of the table smelling so appetising that it made Grace’s stomach rumble with anticipation. There were also dishes full of buttery potatoes, carrots and peas and a big jug of thick gravy.

  Grace nodded. ‘Yes, we did, we walked down to the cove but it started to snow so we hurried back.’

  ‘Just as well, the weather can catch you unawares here.’

  The main meal was followed by one of Cerys’s delicious jam roly-poly puddings, which she served with cream so thick that it stuck to the spoon.

  ‘Oh, I’m so full I can hardly move,’ Grace groaned as she clutched her stomach. It had been a long time since she had eaten such a big meal but she’d thoroughly enjoyed every mouthful. The fresh air had given her an appetite. ‘I propose Dylan and I do the dirty pots. It’s the least we can do after you’ve gone to all the trouble of preparing and cooking it.’

  ‘I won’t argue with an offer like that.’ Cerys grinned. ‘I might just sit by the fire and put my feet up for a while, though a nice cup of tea wouldn’t go amiss.’

  ‘We can do that too.’ Grace hurried away to put the kettle on as Dylan began to clear the dirty pots onto the large wooden draining board.

  Soon after Gertie and Cerys were sitting at either side of the fireplace with steaming cups in their hands while the young people washed and dried the dirty dishes.