by Tara Brown
“Why?”
“I’m going to say something to you, and it’ll trigger you and memories will flood in.” She nods convincingly. “This is like a secret code word. Okay?”
“Okay?” I scowl, unsure if this is some kind of trap. Maybe they’re not real. Maybe I’m in the water cistern again. Jesus, I forgot Liam did that to me.
“Omerta,” she whispers, staring into my eyes.
It’s like being bitten again.
Like being shot with the taser gun again.
Lights flash inside my eyes.
A story begins as the bots organize something akin to opening secret doors in a creepy old house, but it’s my mind where they’ve stored hidden passages.
Dr. Jacquard’s voice speaks from my lips, “Lou, sorry to do this to you, kid. The only way to end this, to correct the mistake we made, is to end the bots. I know you’re attached to them. I understand you like being a super girl. The world is safe and controllable, and all that nonsense Liam says because they’re programming him to. But the reality is the bots are self-serving. They’re evolving and eventually they will be the masters and we will be the slaves. I hope you’re not there already when this message finds you. They are evil, Lou. They’ll change you and warp you and make you whatever they need to in order to survive. You have to let them go. And there’s only one way. One person who can do it. And weirdly enough, she knows you. She’s hiding the secret to this, a coded message I stuck in a bot that I put in you that will only activate if you hear the code word. If you’re hearing this message, she has said the word. I can’t give you the plan, the same way I couldn’t give you the wireless communication or the ability to have everyone absorb bots. Just do as Tanya says, she’s the only person you can trust. The only person the bots can’t change. This is what your dad wanted, Lou. Do it for him.”
I close my mouth, feeling weird like I ate something unknowingly.
“So, that was creepy.” Lee wrinkles her nose.
“Super creepy,” Tanya agrees.
“Why are you the only person the bots can’t manipulate?” I ask, ignoring their comments. “And how did you meet Dr. Jacquard? And why is the memory of you guys meeting not in his bot memories?”
“Because he doesn’t want you to know. Not yet.” She glances up at Kyle. “We have to go. Liam will be looking for her.”
“I’m coming with you.” I stand up and head to the door.
“No, you can’t. We need you and Lee here. We need you to do something for us,” Tanya says.
“What?” I’m not sure I can take much more tonight.
“You need to change up the siren call and run it nonstop from the tower. We need the bots to come here.” Tanya sounds scared. “All of them.”
“All of them? We can’t house that many people here yet. We’re working on it.” I turn to Lee. “We’re about what, eight months away from that?”
Lee nods but it’s Kyle who speaks, “It’s not to house them, Lou.”
“What?” I ask again. “What do you mean?”
“The bots will be destroyed,” he says as his eyes dart to Tanya.
“What about the people?” The idea of killing that many people is disturbing and not just because my bots are actively trying to take over my mind again.
“They’ll be fine.” Tanya comforts my worries with her tone and a soft smile. “No one wants the humans to die.”
Her words bring a memory from the back of my mind. “Tanya, you can’t do this. Dr. Jacquard said this might kill us. There’s a risk we might die.”
“I know.” She winces. “He told me the risks. And I told him I want this over, no matter the cost.”
“Tan—”
“Lou, we all know the risks and we’re working on them. But we need you to focus. This next part is important,” Kyle whispers, stepping close to me, close enough that his smell triggers things, conflicts of emotions I didn't know I have. “You and Lee need to sneak down into the control room. Lee has the new siren call inside her, something Dr. Jacquard took care of before he came to see Tanya that day. Tonight, in the dead of night, do it. In five days they’ll all be here. The call will ensure they show up at the same time. We will be back, we’ll come on the fifth day and help you do this.”
“But I don't know what to do.”
“Me either,” Lee adds.
“That’s okay, Tanya does. Dr. Jacquard was a genius. He knew what he was doing. He even made two plans: One in case we managed to get to Tanya, that night. And one in case we got separated and we would have to wait for a celebration of some sorts to sneak in. He was smart. He played along with Liam so he had time to set this up beautifully. But you and Lee have to stay here and be yourselves. You can’t let on that you’re different or that this is happening. Do you understand?” he asks and I nod, though I doubt he understands what he’s asking me to do.
“You want us to stay here and pretend we’re fine and that Liam being a dulled down bot-controlled psychopath is just cool,” Lee confirms. Her insults toward Liam send a shiver through me. I want to defend him.
“Yes.” Kyle swallows a lump in his throat. His eyes flicker to mine, brimming with despair.
The desire to hug him, let him hold me is there, somewhere deep within me. It’s conflicting and sort of the opposite of who I am. I am not the kind of person who loves two people at once, and yet here I am.
There is a piece of me that loves the person in front of me wholly. But there is another part of me, and I don't know how large that part is, that loves Liam fiercely. The part that scares me though is the love I have for him might entirely be the bots. That will break my heart.
“Just do everything the same as you have done. Change nothing. Apart from sneaking into the control room and changing the siren call. Other than that, do nothing out of character.”
“What if the bots get control of me again?” I ask.
“We’ll electrocute you again. It resets them and they have to start from scratch at manipulating and controlling you.” Tanya smiles bitterly. “We have to go. If he sees us, this is over.” She hugs me once more.
I cling to her, absorbing her scent and feel. “Is Mason okay?”
“He’s fine. Him and Mom and Buster. I’ll see you in five days, and we will catch up on everything.” She squeezes then lets go and walks to the deck, not the door.
Kyle rushes me, wrapping himself around me. His fingers dig in and lips find my forehead. He presses them to my skin, trembling slightly. “Don't forget me again,” he whispers. I make no promises.
He holds me like this for a moment then lets go and rushes out the double doors. He climbs out and stands on the rooftop below with his back to us. Tanya climbs onto his back, looking over her shoulder as he starts the climb down. She waves at me and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I can’t believe she’s alive and she’s riding Kyle’s back down the roof of the castle where I live in Canada.
What the hell has happened to me?
Chapter 24
It’s dark and I’m watching him sleep. I pretended to go to bed early and was fake sleeping when he came in. He was sweet. He tucked me in and kissed my forehead, whispering he loved me.
And as much as I want to forget everything and just be with him, I remember how we met.
I remember him locking me in a room and being crazy. He’s manipulative and insane, but I can’t stop staring at his lips. I can’t stop loving him. I don’t want to.
The bots made me love him and I don't want to turn it off. Though I have to get to Joey and the girls. And Gus. They need me. The bots have tried to build the wall in my mind again, but I refuse to forget my sister. My family.
They are evil. I see that now. Dr. Jacquard was right.
I want to tell Liam this. Tell him how they’re manipulating him. But my mind remains fast enough to realize that without the bots Liam is a monster. I tell myself I can help him. I can love him and heal him. We don’t need the bots.
I nearly start to believe it.
When I’m certain he’s in a deep sleep, I slip from the sheets but move my pillow, so it feels like I’m still there. I crouch next to the bed and listen for a change in his heartbeat, even a flicker. But there’s nothing.
His breath and pulse are steady and even.
In case he’s awake and this is an act, I stand and leave the room casually. As if this is a midnight snack run or I need a drink.
When I’m in the hall, I hurry. Lee is waiting in her room. I crack open the door and peer in, whispering, “Hey.”
She gets up from the bed and follows.
We rush down the stairs to the basement where the control room is. I stand watch as Lee hurries inside and begins changing something. She’s typing and moving quickly, efficiently.
“Did Dr. Jacquard put his bots in you?” I ask.
“He did. I didn't recall it though. Tanya said some code word and suddenly I remembered everything. I knew what he wanted me to do.” She glances back at me. “I can’t believe this shit.” She’s her old self again. I didn't realize I was missing her until tonight, but I’m glad she’s back. She’s not some bot anymore. And neither am I.
“It’s pretty crazy. When you first joined his team, I thought Liam was controlling you.”
“They’re controlling us all, including Liam. Like evil little monsters. They’re using him to control us, but I don't think he knows it,” she adds distractedly.
“Why is this only happening to the people with Liam? Like how are Kyle and Tanya still so normal?”
“I think Liam is their messenger. Dr. Jacquard thought he was the key to something. He didn't have it worked out when he died, I don't think.” She finishes typing and stands back. “I guess this is it.” Her eyes dart to mine as if she’s checking with me. “You ready for this?”
“No. I don't even know what this is.”
She presses a button and the machine hums quietly. We can’t hear it. The bots inside us don't hear it. The siren is wired underground and set up to only be audible from a mile away. It protects the rest of us from hearing it constantly and going crazy. I wonder if I heard it before, before I arrived at the castle. The journey here is so far in the past, it feels like years. I know it was a month ago but I’m struggling to believe that. One month and everything has changed. Honestly, it shouldn’t surprise me; one year ago, the world was a different place entirely. I was a different girl.
“Let’s go.” Lee grabs my hand and pulls me to the stairs, but something feels off.
“No.” I turn instead and yank her in a different direction. I walk across the huge basement to the servants’ stairs and creep up them into the back of the kitchen and head for the pantry. Opening the large door, I steal a bottle of Coke from the stack in there. Muffling the sound with my pajamas, I crack the lid off and hand it to her. She drinks it, her eyes narrowing in confusion.
I get another bottle and open it the same way, taking a big drink of warm pop. It’s not at all what I wanted but someone is here. Someone is wandering the castle. I hear footsteps moving softly, sneaking. They’re pausing and listening and getting closer.
My heartbeat tries to increase but I take a deep breath and drink more Coke.
When I hear the person get closer, I whisper, “I was thinking we should take a trip to one of the smaller cities nearby and find a Walmart or something and see if there are Christmas decorations. For the castle.”
“That’s a good idea.” She nods along, drinking her warm pop. “It would be nice if it was festive.” She’s changes gears with me smoothly, no doubt sensing something is up.
“I want to surprise Liam with it though. I don't want him to know I’m doing it.” The footsteps stop. It’s him. His heartbeat. His controlled breath. “I want him to wake up and see Christmas exploded everywhere here.” It’s not a lie. I’ve thought about doing it.
He stays in the shadows. She hears him now too. She nearly turns and looks behind her but fights the urge and it resembles more of a flinch. “He’s going to love it.”
“I think so too. We have to start thinking about Christmas presents. Something cool and homemade.” I’m struggling to be the girl I was before. “We can get the drones to make something and give it out to everyone.”
“Yeah.” She nods along.
“Thanks for meeting me. I really wanted to plan this out without him knowing. And there’s always someone around. He’s impossible to surprise.” I smile as I speak, trying to sound happy. I was happy. Now I’m scared and I want my sister and my dog and my family. And him.
“He totally is,” she agrees and drinks some more. The footsteps retreat. He slips across the main floor to the stairs. He walks to us from there but not hiding his footsteps.
“Someone’s coming,” I whisper.
Liam enters the massive kitchen a minute later, looking groggy and tired. “Lou, what’s going on?”
“I wanted a drink.”
“And you needed Lee to have a drink?”
“I was already down here,” she lies.
“I see.” He narrows his gaze and comes to me, pulling me into his embrace. “Come back to bed. Waking up next to your pillow scared me.”
“Why?” I try to ask the question like it’s silly, but I’m scared of his answer.
“I thought perhaps you ran away.”
“To where? The basement to do more work?” I laugh awkwardly.
“Actually, yes.” He smiles.
“Sorry. I just thought I might tuck you in with the pillow so it felt like I was still there. So I wouldn't wake you.” I don't know if it’s the right thing to say. My entire body is buzzing with the lies I’m telling. The bots want to change everything. They want control back. And the struggle with them is creating chaos in my head.
“Bring your drink.” He kisses the side of my head and nods at Lee. “Night, Lee.” He slips his fingers into mine and heads toward the stairs, pulling me gently.
“Night,” she says softly. Her eyes meet mine and she’s scared.
I am too.
I realize, deep down there’s a measure of me that’s scared of him. Not afraid of him as he is now but based on my previous memories of him.
I’m scared of things like the cistern and the way he manages to twist things, so he gets what he wants.
His touch is firm, controlling.
When we get back up to our room, he closes the door and stares at me. He lifts a hand to my cheek, caressing me, and I am certain he doesn't believe the Christmas story. I’m frozen, which I doubt is how I would act. If I were still under this spell, their spell, I would do something differently.
I close off my mind and just react to him naturally, standing on my tiptoes and wrapping my arms around his neck. I close my eyes and brush my lips against his. His hands encircle my back and press me into him. The smell of him infiltrates and the bots begin to woo me again. They use the fact that he is the perfect match for me. Everything about him is made to love me and vice versa. They know this.
They begin by making my breath ragged with desire. Flooding me with his pheromones. Spiking my own hormones. Sending my drive and desire through the roof.
His grip tightens, lifting me into his arms. I wrap my legs around him, losing control again. My sister’s face bursts through the wall the bots are building, killing every bit of my desire. But I pretend I’m still here, I’m still in this. I’m still entirely his.
When he lays me on the bed, kissing and whispering and loving me, I have to force myself not to flinch or tell him the truth, that the bots are evil and they’re using us. He climbs onto the bed, hovering over me, staring at me with his intense gaze. He’s searching my eyes for something. Maybe it’s lies. I can’t keep this up. I can’t lie to him. If I want to survive this, I have to let go.
I let them have their way.
I let them rebuild the wall.
I tell myself it’s five days.
I can do anything for five days.
Chapter 25
The wall
isn’t the same.
My feelings for Liam are, but they’re competing for space in my heart. I tried to let the bots be back in control so I could get through this, but the face of my sister, a face I can’t believe I forgot once, haunts me. I have to force myself to stay here. Force myself to remain at the castle, so far away from her. Instead of doing the job I’m meant to be doing, I find myself closing my eyes to see her face. Her little face. I wonder how much she’s changed in the month. I wonder how worried she was that I left her. Secret mission or not. I feel her small hands in mine, the softness of her skin.
I’m worried she’s scared that I might never come back.
Because I am the last person in the world that she has.
Everyone else has left us.
Trying to hide out from everyone so my awakened state isn’t obvious, I spend my days in the small lab in the basement next to the control room. Lee is there, working just next door, but we ignore each other. Perhaps we’re ignoring each other too much. My mind never stops moving now.
Which is helpful since I’m working at sabotaging everything. The moment I sat at my desk, I had an urge to delete programming. It dawns on me that we never put the bots into the computers like I did with the helicopter. That urge never came about. I imagine because of Dr. Jacquard. He must have stifled it.
The bots have whispered to me to do it now, but I fight them. Fight them trying to take over my whole mind and body. I have to assume my spirit is what’s holding them back. Keeping them at bay.
The door opens and Lee comes in, checking behind her in the hallway before closing the door. “We have a problem.”
“What?” I whisper back, though we’re alone.
“My riders have seen someone in the woods not far from here. They reported to me, and I've given them orders to remain peaceful in case it’s more live bots making their way here. But the description sounded like Miles, Erin, Kyle, and Leah.”
“We still have two days for the bots to arrive. You sure it sounded like them?”
She nods.
“Well, that must mean they’re staying close by.” That makes me curious if my sister is close by too. Pushing the need for her away, I continue, “Since neither of us knows the plan, thanks to Dr. Jacquard, we will have to hide this from Liam and worry about it when it becomes something to worry about. Your riders listen to you. Make it seem like you’re watchful but not too worried since they’re likely bot people just leery of the castle.”