by Tara Brown
“I did.” She bites her lip and I wonder if that was all she was worried about.
“You okay?”
“Nope.” She takes a deep breath. “I have doubts about this whole thing.”
“Oh me to.” I sigh, relieved she is worrying. “I think it’s the bots trying to gain control. They’re already back to putting us into position to be taken over. They just naturally want to drive the meat bus.”
“Oh that’s disgusting. Never say meat bus to me again.” She wrinkles her nose and I laugh. It’s genuine and I don't remember when I last made that sound. She laughs too. It’s magical and raw. “You’re so weird.” She leans on the door, exhaling softly.
“I am my father’s daughter,” I agree.
“What will we do when this is over? When the bots are defeated and we’re all back to normal?” Her tone is whimsical and light. “Will we even be normal?”
“I don't know. I guess we’ll stay here. We have all the food and supplies ready, and we’ll be down a large portion of the population. I imagine we’ll have some serious burning to do with the bodies of the people who can’t come back from where they are.”
“Oh right.” She loses that lightness. “I forgot about that. The ones who are technically dead.”
“Yeah.” I press my lips together and try not to think too much on it.
“What about him?” She points at the ceiling and is back to being serious and worried.
“I can save him. I know I can.”
Her eyes and lips twitch as though she wants to disagree but she doesn't. “And Kyle?”
His name wounds me because there is a painful truth inside me. “It’s him.” I glance up at the ceiling. “It’s always going to be him; I just didn't know it. He’s my match.”
“That's you and not the bots talking, right?”
“Not the bots,” I confirm.
“But you also love Kyle, just not enough?” The question is brutal but it’s real.
“No,” I admit it to her and me. “Not the same. He’s like a guy I liked before I fell in love. Like a teenaged romance. The depth of this”—my eyes travel back up to the ceiling—“is all-consuming.”
“I’m sorry, dude,” she says and I realize she’s not judging me. She is agonizing over the truth I will have to share with Kyle. She’s upset for me. And him.
“Thanks, man.” My response makes her grin.
“When was the last time we said dude and man?”
“Before the great brainwashing I suppose.” I laugh with her, though this time it’s less light and fluffy.
“Okay, I’m going to admit something, and I don't want you to judge me.”
“I won’t.” I hope I won’t.
“I miss the brainwashing a bit. I enjoyed being Princess Lee and having unwavering confidence in Liam and this plan. I miss the dream that we were meant for more.” She says it exactly the same as I’m thinking it. “That we would save the world and be super beings.”
“Oh, me too.” I wave away her worries. “Totally. And I hate that we’re using his faith in us against him. I know it’s based on the bots believing they have us under their control so surveillance and second-guessing and checking up on people isn’t a thing here. And I also know it’s for the greater good, that we’ll rescue us all from the control of the bots, but I do feel awful for tricking him.”
“Me too.” She moves forward and hugs me, squeezing tightly. “I’m so glad we have each other.”
“I am too.” I hug back, savoring the honesty, even if it’s hidden in here, in this tiny corner.
“I’ll go back out and ensure the riders are looking for the bots,” she says with a sigh, letting go and walking back to the door.
“Okay. I’ll see you at dinner.” I wave and as she opens the door, Liam is there with his hand up like he was about to grab the handle.
Lee pulls a perfect nonresponse out of her butt. She doesn't flinch at all. “King Liam, I didn't expect to see you here.” She brushes past him and walks into the hall as he enters the room with me.
“It was perfect timing,” he says with a smile. I type in four keys and the system on the computer hides what I’ve been up to by bringing another screen to the forefront. “I just came to see if Lou wants to take a walk.”
“I’d love to.” I stand and stroll over to where he is, letting him hug me.
“See you two later.” Lee waves and leaves us alone in the doorway.
“What did she want?”
“Double-checking my progress on the communication capabilities of the bots I’m manipulating,” I say something the Jacquard bots wouldn't have thought of.
“How’s it coming?”
“Slow. Dr. Jacquard would be better than just his bots in my mind. I struggle to have the breakthroughs he or my father would have had.” It’s true. I love offering him a truth since most of my words are lies. “Let’s take that walk.” I slip my hand into his and he leads the way.
As we leave the castle on the ground floor, the cold air of autumn hits. It’s early in the season but the change is noticeable.
I pull my sweater tighter around my shoulders.
“I guess it’s jacket season now, huh?” I offer, keeping the conversation light.
“It is. Here, I’ll keep you warm.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders and snuggles me into his body. I fit perfectly into the side of him.
The grounds are becoming beautiful here. Hedges and gardens have been planted. Apparently, doing it in the fall is better. I’m told the spring flowerbeds will bloom and reveal all the hard work with daffodils and tulips and other bulb flowers. I’m a little excited to see it.
I smile up at Liam, convincing myself I will be enough to keep him sane. I’m going to save him. I’ve been contemplating it for days, how to do it. I’ll have to trap him and slowly gain his trust again, like an animal. A wild animal.
I’m not stupid enough to believe he won’t hurt me just because he loves me. I know he will. My eyes dart to the side of the courtyard where the path that leads to the cistern is. I’m slowly forming a plan. The bots can’t help me on this.
When we reach the archway, which he had built that leads into the orchard, he stops and stands under it. The colors of the leaves are changing with the cold air making the archway bright red. As I step under it, I notice a scratchy sound of leaves being tickled by the wind.
“I love you,” he says, drawing my attention from the leaves to him.
“I love you too.”
“I thought I’d been in love before.” He pauses, obviously speaking of Grace. It doesn't bother me the way it does him to speak of her, though he does it less and less. No doubt because the bots are slowly robbing him of her.
“I know. With Grace.”
“But now I think on it, and I suspect I was obsessed with her. In the way I used to get. Infatuated and consumed by the idea of her.”
“No.” I squeeze his hands and shake my head slowly. “You loved her, Liam.”
“How do you know?” he asks, not angrily, genuinely curious.
“Because the bots had healed you. You were all better and then you fell for her.”
“But I feel differently for you and I don't understand that. How can I love two people, not equally, just at all?” he sounds so lost and adorable.
“It’s the same as me and Kyle.” His eyes flash hatred as I say the sentence, but I soften my tone for the rest so he doesn't get upset, “I loved him in a way school kids love. It was first and sweet and similar to you and Grace in that we went through something terrible together. It bonded us. But that doesn't mean it’s the same as how I love you. Or why I love you.”
“Do you miss him?” he asks, fixating on the wrong part of the story. Something he does.
“Yes and no.” I don't have to lie about that. “I miss my friend, not him being my boyfriend. You have my heart, my whole heart.” The words are lost. He’s consumed by the idea that I had a boyfriend.
“But you did love
him?”
“We’re not talking about him.” I step back, hoping the disappointment in my eyes isn’t too heavy. He doesn’t react well when I get a tone. “We’re talking about us. And you’re right, how we felt about other people isn’t the same as we feel for each other. I agree. There’s something else here—”
“Soul mates,” he mutters, though I know he doesn’t really believe in that.
“Yeah. I’ve given it some thought and there’s a chance that’s what this inexplicable draw is.” I hope to test the theory when the bots are all dead.
“It’s not just draw, there’s something devotional to it.” He closes the gap between us, cupping my face in his hands and lifting me to meet his lips. “I would die without you. And I hate that thought.”
It’s easily the most terrifying thing he’s ever said. And I doubt it’s only me that it scares.
Chapter 26
The sun rises on the fifth day and I feel like we are back at the beginning. I’m waiting for the seventh day and for the bots to die. Except this time I’m not hoping for my father to save me. Not exactly. Though I imagine some of the programming we are about to use is his.
Liam is sleeping peacefully, the way he sleeps all the time. Seeing it makes me wonder if this was how he slept before, or if there were nightmares. I’ve never asked him about the shadow man or his family or the dream I had. I suspect the answer is that somehow, I saw into his mind and he shared that with me without meaning to.
Watching his chest rise and fall, I ponder if Grace ever watched him sleeping. Did she sit and stare and wonder how such a beautiful person could be so ugly inside? Or did she know the shadow man story?
I take one last long look at him and climb from the bed, hoping this isn’t the last time we are like this. A couple. Soul mates.
Dr. Jacquard’s reminder that Tanya or I could die from this, flits about my mind as I make my way through the extensive hallways and staircases to the basement. It’s not an end I want but if it’s the end I get, I can’t fight it. I have to do this.
The hallways of the castle are busy, as always. Drones cleaning and organizing and a few still finishing small jobs. Those jobs will probably never be done. A last brick here or a window ledge there or a door handle in a closet. In a normal house you would have those odds and ends done in a matter of days. In a castle of this size it might take all year, regardless of the drones. When we no longer have them, it’ll be worse.
Lee is waiting for me in her control room. I don’t think she has slept yet. I can relate. I didn’t waste a moment sleeping. I stared at Liam all night, noting his face changing as the moon rose and set again. My heart was breaking, despite the stories I told myself of how we would make it out of this.
“It’s not too late to change our minds,” she says to the computer screen she focuses on, but she’s talking to me.
“I know. I’ve contemplated that. But Dr. Jacquard is right. You know it, and so do I. They’re making us their slaves. Liam doesn’t realize the feudal system he’s created is just a mirror of the one we’re living inside ourselves. They’re giving us healing and protection for a never-ending lifetime of indentured servitude.”
“I guess.” She seems bummed out by the idea of taking this all away.
“What do you miss the most? Hot coffee, fresh donuts, or slushies?” I ask, playing a game we have played a million times.
“Slushies, hands down. We can have hot coffee any time we want. Donuts too. But slushies would be harder.”
“Then why don’t we make coffee? Have you noticed that? We don’t eat donuts and coffee. You know why?”
“Oh my God, the bots are evil.” She spins in her chair and glares at me. “They don’t want us to have happiness?”
Her sarcastic answer makes me laugh. “No, because it’s bad for us. We eat healthy, we crave foods that are nutritious. They’re controlling what we eat and what we crave. When was the last time you had a period?”
Her lips part and she scowls. “I don’t know.”
“Right. We’re not planning on having kids anytime soon, so the ovulation stops.”
“Okay, well I don’t miss my period.”
“Right, but what if you decided you loved someone and wanted to have kids with them and the bots decided no, this person isn’t for you? And they had already matched you with another person? What if they won’t turn your ovulation on because you shouldn’t be with the one you want to be with?”
“I don’t want kids, Lou.” She wrinkles her nose.
“Then change it to anything else. What if they decide we can’t be around the Littles because we’re not the right parents for those kids?”
“They can’t do that.” That gets her back up.
“But they can. They can do whatever they want. Whatever they think is in our best interest and it doesn’t matter what we want.” I recall something she might have forgotten, something I wish I had, and bring it to the table, “Remember when you were pissed at me for being with Liam? And you were angry because you thought I had both of them, and you technically have been in love with Kyle forever?”
She recoils as her cheeks light on fire.
“I always knew you liked him and that was why you were so pissy with me when you changed,” I confess and hope she sees where this is going. “When Liam and I became a thing, suddenly you were nice and sweet and friendly to me all the time. Why was that?”
She narrows her gaze and sits back farther in the chair. It takes her several seconds before she answers, “Oh my God! They made me be nice to you even though you were being all skanky behind Kyle’s back!”
“Exactly!” I point at her and realize I just made myself sound awful to prove a point.
“So you admit you were being a ho?” She cocks an eyebrow and smirks.
“You admit you like Kyle and were angry with me for a long time over it?”
“Maybe.” She shrugs.
“Then maybe I was a ho.” I hate that I was but she’s right. “The moment Liam and I were around each other, it’s like I forgot Kyle existed. Which is awful. It’s killing me now.”
“What are you going to do if you and Liam is just bot plans? And this is a forced relationship? And you’re not really in love?”
“I honestly have no idea,” I admit, dreading that reality. “But I won’t be with Kyle. I wouldn't do that to him.”
“Well, you should know, I’ll be doing my best to help him get over you.” She winks but she’s serious.
“You should,” I agree, though it’s uncomfortable to contemplate. “He deserves to be loved, not manipulated or forgotten when it’s convenient. He’s an amazing person.” I have no heartbreak over them together. That's a strange situation.
We both cringe.
“When do you think they’ll come?” she changes the subject and the answer bangs on the door.
It opens a second later to one of her riders. He bows. “My queen, Princess Lee. There are hordes of live bots and drones coming out of the woods. They are surrounding the town now, coming from all four sides.” He’s saying something that anyone would panic over, but his voice is calm and collected.
“Guess that answers that,” Lee mutters and gets up. “Lead the way, rider.” She holds a hand out for him to follow her. I follow them both, noting the presence of nerves in my stomach, though they’re dulled by the bots.
The hallways are busier now, people scurrying more than normal. It’s panic for this place, though everyone is still relatively calm.
When we reach the lookout on the second floor, I see why.
The numbers slowly making their way to us seem impossible. It reminds me of a horror movie; they’re dragging their dehydrated and exhausted bodies across the massive fields in the distance. They’re so far back, I can’t see where they stop.
“What the hell is going on?” Liam storms to where we are, his eyes narrow in on Lee. “What did you do?”
“The siren must have malfunctioned,” she offers weakly. �
��I don't know. There was no warning that it wasn't working.”
“You mean wasn't turning off. It had to have been running nonstop for this to happen.” He stares at the expanse of land filled with humans and not-quite humans making their way to us. “This is a disaster.” He watches for two more seconds before he turns to me. “Can you turn them around? Get them to halt and wait for us to deal with them all?”
“I can try,” I lie.
“Can you do it now?” he snaps.
“Yeah.” I hurry away.
When I get to the control room, I don't do anything. Instead, I sit in the chair and wait for an answer. The suspense of what comes next is killing me. I don't know what to do, and if Liam comes down here and sees me not solving this problem, I will have some serious explaining to do.
There’s a knock on the door. I lift my face to tell them to enter but it opens and Leah pokes her head in. “Hi.” She smiles but her eyes are filled with worry. “Tanya told me the moment the horde showed up, Liam would send you down here.”
“About time.” I sigh, relieved. “He did send me down here.”
“I think that doctor dude was psychic. Anyway, I’m supposed to say proelium,” she utters softly and something kicks into gear.
Light flashes behind my eyes, a plan forms. I see answers and Dr. Jacquard’s bots spring back to life, blooming like flowers in my brain. His critical thinking, problem-solving, and genius are mine again.
I gasp seeing it.
It’s terrible and efficient and exactly what we need.
The flowers are made of fire and kick me into gear. I’m not looking, my eyes remain closed, but my fingers move about the keyboard. My own bots are panicking but Dr. Jacquard’s bots have built a wall, trapping mine behind it. My emotions are there too. As the wall gets larger, I sense myself detaching from everything.