Dating My Protector

by Kate Swain

  I did as he suggested, but I couldn’t focus. I kept on seeing the beautiful face of that strange, frightened woman. I had been dishonest with Mark – I had been attracted. Very attracted. I just didn’t want to admit that to myself. I wanted it to be concern and compassion, and not the very natural attraction that I felt to a beautiful woman.

  “Damn it, Matt,” I muttered to myself as I went over to the workbench to fetch a spanner. I kept on choosing the wrong size, and it was stressing me out. I wasn’t focused on my work, and it wasn’t all because I was tired. I had been far more tired than this and still done my work – especially when Luke was small.

  I did my best at work, but I was more relieved than I could say when six o'clock showed on the big digital clock at the back of the workshop. I was even more relieved when the door burst open.

  “Hey, guys, let’s tidy up!” Carter called cheerfully. “No more calls today.”

  “Hooray!” Mark said, with just the faintest touch of irony. I looked up at his grinning face. He looked more weary than I felt. I recalled his comments about Slade and sleep-deprivation and felt bad about how distracted I’d been. He really was tired, I thought, and he needed my help more than I needed his.

  I was walking to the door when I heard Mark’s voice behind me.

  “Matt, wait a moment, huh? I’m sorry I was taking the piss earlier. I know you’ve been down and out just lately…”

  “I’m fine,” I said softly. “Really I am. Please don’t worry about me. Sorry,” I added awkwardly.

  “What are you sorry for?” my brother asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said, looking down at my feet. The caring look in his eye was enough to make me feel really guilty. “I know I wasn’t the best workmate today, bro.”

  He just shook his head. “I understand,” he said. “You have a lot on your mind.”

  “I do,” I said softly. I was worried about my son, and I couldn’t shake this sadness I felt about Amy either. And now with this girl stuck in my mind too. I shook my head.

  I wasn’t going to let her get to me.

  I said my farewells and got onto my bike, riding home in the dark. It was freezing cold and I felt my thoughts numbing out; too focused on the immediate problems of cold and navigation through the crowded streets to worry.

  When I got back, I was relieved to find Lucas already there. He was sitting at the table, while Judy washed up. I felt my stomach clench with nerves when I saw how stressed he looked.

  “Dad!” Lucas embraced my waist, squashing me with all his strength. He was already a tall boy for his age, and I knew he would shoot up in a few years, just like my brother and I. We came from a tall family. His mom was also tall.

  I tried to concentrate on the present and not let my thoughts slip back into the pattern that had already become too familiar. I stroked my son’s hair and focused on where Judy was washing the dishes from dinner.

  “Mr. Brand?” She asked, turning to wipe her hands on her apron. “Can we talk for a bit?”

  I nodded. “Sure. Lucas? Maybe you can go to the living room and put on our show? I just want to talk to Judy for a moment or two.”

  He nodded. My son is impossible to fool, and I knew that he probably knew I was worried about something. I could see from the tension in Judy’s back and shoulders that she was worried, too – and I was sure Lucas had been picking up her feelings too.

  “Okay, Dad,” he said levelly. I looked down into those worried gray eyes and tried to smile in what I hoped was a reassuring manner.

  “I’ll be over in a minute,” I said softly.

  He slipped out of the room and I went over to where Judy was waiting by the door. There was a nervous expression on her slim, oval face and I turned my reassuring grin to her.

  “Judy, it’s okay,” I said gently. “I’ll figure something out. It’s more important that you and Jax enjoy this.”

  “Thanks, sir,” she said, sounding relieved. “I just… Lucas is such a great kid, and I really don’t want to let you down.”

  We talked for a while. In the end, I managed to make an agreement. She would stay for the month, working half-days in the last two weeks, if I managed to find a replacement during that time. She also agreed to spend one or two days with the replacement, helping out and helping Lucas to become accustomed to somebody else. I was worried for my boy, who was naturally shy and who would need time to get used to somebody new.

  When she had left, I leaned back against the door for a moment, my body drenched in sweat and my head sore. It had been a long day, but at least a part of my worries were sorted out. I couldn’t help the fact that, when I thought about getting a new nanny, the big green eyes of the girl in the diner were the first things that came to my mind.

  “Stop it, Matt,” I told myself firmly.

  I went over to the sitting-room to join my son, lifting a tin of cookies off the sideboard as I passed it. Then I sat down on the couch and he came and leaned against me and we settled down to watch a nature documentary, his favorite genre.

  As we got to an advertisement break, he looked up at me, those big eyes wide.

  “Dad, everything’s okay, isn’t it?” he asked me.

  I shut my eyes, giving myself a moment to gather myself, and nodded. He sounded frightened and I didn’t want him to be. I took a deep breath. “It’s all going to be okay,” I reassured him gently. “I have to sort some stuff out, but it’s all going to be fine.”

  I didn’t want him to be scared about Judy leaving, so I wasn’t planning to tell him about it until we had sorted out a replacement. And until we had found a replacement nanny who he liked.

  “That sounds okay,” Lucas agreed amicably, and settled down to watch the show, which was starting again.

  “It is,” I agreed, and rested my hand on his shoulder as he snuggled closer to me. I would do my best to keep my misgivings to myself. I would also, I thought, looking at the television screen determinedly, try to forget about the girl in the diner with the green eyes.

  I had scared her so much that, even if I saw her again – a fact which seemed unlikely – she was probably too scared of me to ever work for me.

  4

  Tessa

  I sat down on the bed, feeling weary and frustrated. I was hungry, I was tired. I was also furious at myself. Why had I run away when I could have stayed there in the diner, and listened to what Blue-Eyes had to say for himself?

  “You could have waited a moment,” I chided myself. My fingers were looped in my hair, a habit when I was annoyed and feeling frustrated. I couldn’t believe it! I had been granted a perfect opportunity and I had thrown it away. It was ridiculous!

  “Don’t blame yourself,” I sighed.

  I was on the run from two unknown men – I shouldn’t be surprised by the fact that I had run away at the first sign of a strange man paying me attention. I knew that my would-be killers were highly unlikely to be anything like the man I saw in the restaurant – he seemed like a perfectly decent, kind person. But I couldn’t help the fact that I was jumpy. And I had been raised not to simply go up to strangers and start eavesdropping.

  “I can’t help the fact that I have manners.”

  I sighed. I wasn’t sure if manners were going to help me get out of the very desperate corner I was in. I had only enough money left for a week of living at this hotel. After that – unless Laney could help me – I was in big trouble.

  I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. The lipstick was still in place, and I couldn’t help noticing the fact that I looked good. I could understand why the man had looked at me in a particular way.

  “He wasn’t exactly unpleasant, either.”

  He had been easily one of the more stunning men I’d seen, and I felt my cheeks heat up, remembering his face. Those blue eyes would have been enough on their own, but combined with those cheekbones, that long, sensitive face and that jawline…

  “Stop it, Tessa,” I told myself, annoyed. I was not going to let myself
sink into daydreams, of all things! I was especially not going to waste time right now, floating in a haze of daydreams about some strange man who I had never seen before and was unlikely to see again.

  I had more things to worry about than I even wanted to contemplate. I was running out of money, I was hiding from criminals. I was trying not to die.

  “And, right now,” I told myself firmly, “I need dinner.”

  I glanced at the clock. It was six o'clock and I really needed something to eat. I had spent half of the five dollars on bread and the other half on tinned sausages and beans. I had eaten some for lunch, and I would eat the rest for dinner. I sat down to prepare my meal.

  “Tomorrow,” I told myself, “I am going to do some work.”

  I had enjoyed the industrial area, despite my unusual experience with the two men in the diner. I liked it. The gritty, hard-as-nails environment inspired me artistically. I planned to take my camera down there tomorrow and do some photography.

  There had been a particular corner I had noticed on my way up to the diner, I reminded myself as I ate my dinner. It had been near a big parking lot, with a warehouse nearby that had some faded graffiti on the walls. There were some bikes there, parked in the parking lot, and what looked to be some sort of workshop nearby.

  “Gritty modernistic shots,” I told myself with a grin of some satisfaction. There had been so much there that I wanted to photograph, and I couldn’t help the fact that I was still thinking about my portfolio. Just because my life had changed instantly didn’t mean that I lost all interest in my career options. I still wanted to be a photographer one day, and I still had a good eye for it. I was excited about the pictures.

  I finished dinner and checked my mail, considering a shower before bed. I was just washing the dishes from supper when my phone rang.

  “Laney?” I felt my heart skip with a mix of delight and worry. “How’s it going?”

  “Great!” Laney’s voice was light and happy. It seemed so strange for me to think that she was in the same city as me, probably not too far away. I was used to her being a day’s drive away. I wondered, desperately, how long I would be able to conceal the fact that I was here too. I didn’t want to have to endanger her by going near her. Something told me that those men were pursuing me and that, eventually, they’d catch up with me. I wasn’t going to bring death to the doorstep of my friend.

  “That’s good,” I said, and sat down on the bed, feeling awkward. I really enjoyed talking to Laney, usually, but tonight I was so tense and I had so much to hide. I was also desperately frightened, and talking to her was reminding me of everything that had happened. A thought occurred to me. “How was the dance?” I asked.

  “Oh!” She said cheerily. “The dance was amazing!”

  I listened as she described the venue, the decorations, and her dress, which had all been connected to the charity gala she’d attended at her mom’s work the other day. I was pleased to be able to talk about something so light-hearted; to be able to escape my own worries for a moment and into a world of lace dresses and music.

  “That sounds awesome,” I said as she ran out of words.

  “It was great. Listen, are you around this weekend?” She asked. “I know that it’s far to travel, but…” she sounded wistful, and I felt my heart flip over.

  “I’d love to come and see you,” I said, sincerely. In fact, if I could stay with her for the weekend, it would change everything for me.

  “Really?” Laney sounded happy. “Are you sure? I mean, I know how long it takes to get here, and…”

  “I would love to come,” I said firmly. “I just have some things to sort out first,” I added, and I heard her get businesslike at once.

  “Of course. But if you need to organize tickets or something…”

  “No,” I said a little over-hastily. “I can fix that.”

  “Okay,” she said, sounding surprised. “Well, just let me know times and things, and I’ll come and fetch you from the station.”

  “Okay, great!” I said brightly. I wondered about how I was going to explain my situation to her, but I supposed I would figure something out. I would have to.

  We chatted for a bit longer and then I hung up. I went over to the shower, figuring that an early night wouldn’t do me any harm. I might as well catch up on my sleep.

  I undressed and washed, glad that I could keep myself clean and cared for. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I would be able to spend the weekend with Laney, in her new apartment. Not only would that get me out of here before the killers could find me, but it would also make sure that my meals and roof were covered for at least two days.

  “Hooray,” I sighed, feeling pure relief wash through me like the warm water was washing down my skin.

  I slid into bed and spend a bit of time looking at photographers’ websites, getting inspired. I already knew what I wanted to photograph tomorrow, and how I wanted to do it, but seeing other people’s work broadened my mind. I fell asleep with a smile on my face for the first time in nearly a week.

  The next morning, I woke and dressed and ate breakfast, full of inspiration. I walked into town and caught the bus where I had got on it yesterday, heading into the industrial zone. It was as I got out that the thought occurred to me that the strange man with the blue eyes had been around here, in the diner.

  “Stop it, Tessa,” I told myself firmly. “He’s not going to be back here.”

  Besides, I thought, brushing a strand of stray hair out of my eye, I had work to do. I was much too focused on finding good shots to think about stunning eyes.

  I took some photos at the warehouse wall, where peeling paintwork gave way to gritty graffiti. I grinned at the shots – I really liked them. There was something hard and modern about the environment, as well as strangely soft with the way the crumbling walls giving way to the wear and tear. It felt like a statement about the power of Nature. You couldn’t keep it out or fight against it, no matter how hard you tried. Nature always found a way to win, no matter how damaged it already was.

  “There,” I told myself, taking one more shot from over the alley-way. I noticed the pizza restaurant somewhere on the edge of my vision but studiously ignored it.

  No excuses to go hanging around there, Tessa, I told myself firmly.

  I had work to do.

  I walked across the small street to the parking lot. This was the place that had really inspired me. I looked for the bikes and spotted them again. I wondered, briefly, as I walked across the parking lot, what the owners of the bikes would think about me coming to photograph them here. I figured they probably wouldn’t mind. After all, it wasn’t like they had their faces plastered on them. I could do some work to blur the license-plates if it was going to be a personal data issue.

  One of the bikes in particular grabbed my attention. It was black and red, with chrome forks and leather details. I loved it – so new and shiny, against the grimy wall behind. The contrast was remarkable, and the cloudy light made it even better. I would have such fun getting the lighting perfect on these!

  I finished with the bike and went across the parking lot, deciding to take some from a distance. That was when I noticed the other bikes parked right up near the door.

  I walked across, feeling curious, and then stopped dead in my tracks. Somebody was on the porch of the building, and they were looking straight at me with the most beautiful blue eyes that I had ever seen.

  5

  Matt

  I frowned out over the parking lot, unable to see who it was who was standing on the other side of the road. Somebody was there, staring across at me. I strained my eyes, wondering just why they were studying me so intently. They couldn’t have been more than ten meters away, but all I could see was that they were female, with long hair.

  My eyesight has never been great, and when I’m tired – which I’d been a lot just recently – I really have trouble seeing. I squinted at the person and felt a tingle of recognition up my spine. I
t couldn’t be, could it? But it was. The girl with red hair.

  I took a deep breath. My first instinct was to run over there and ask her if she was still interested in a job. But another, deeper sense told me that she wasn’t about to stand still and let me confront her. If she’d been freaked out by Mark and me when we’d all been in a restaurant together, she would be even more likely to run from a stranger approaching her in an isolated parking-space.

  “Play it cool, Matt,” I told myself.

  I stayed where I was, and then bent down, pretending to be intently interested in the paintwork of a nearby bike. It had been me who did the paintwork, as it happened, and I was somewhat interested to see how it was wearing up. I was just studying a scratch when I felt eyes on me. I tensed and cautiously looked over my shoulder.

  The girl was about five meters away now.

  My heart thudding, my cheeks wanting to lift in a big grin, I stayed where I was, looking back towards the shop as if I hadn’t seen her sneaking up on me. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this happy and alive. I rubbed my nose and wondered what I could do to coax her a bit closer.

  Just standing there seemed to make sense. I stayed where I was, and I heard the scuff of booted feet behind me. She was going to come over. I felt gleeful, and I stood dead still, waiting for her to say something.

  I might have poor eyesight, but there’s nothing wrong with my vision in close-up. I could see her standing perhaps a meter behind my right shoulder, almost close enough to touch. I drew a deep breath.

  “Nice day, for the season, don’t you think?” I said.

  She jumped, and I turned to face her. She stared up at me.

  “Sorry,” she stammered. “I was… I wanted to look at the bike. Can I? I take photographs. I mean, um, I’m a photographer.” She grinned shyly.

  “You are?” I was instantly interested. She looked about twenty, but that might have been the way she was dressed and her makeup. I thought the last time I saw her, she’d introduced herself as a babysitter. Now I wasn’t sure.