The Maggie Bainbridge Box Set

by Rob Wyllie

'Fuck off.'

  Frank heard the shout, and knew instinctively that it was all about to kick off. To the left of the stage, a group of young men had gathered, slurping from bottles of lager and directing single-finger gestures towards the platform.

  'Commie wankers.'

  'As I said, we're gathered here today, united in the fight against fascism.' Allegra had evidently decided not only to ignore the hecklers, but to confront them too. That was going to prove to be a mistake. She pointed at the group. 'And if we ever needed evidence as to how important it is for us to win this fight, you can see it here. Right here in front of you. Fascist scum.'

  Frank guessed she'd used these words plenty of times on her Twitter feed, but she was about to find out it was a whole order of magnitude more dangerous to use them in the real world. There was a horrified gasp from the crowd as a bottle smashed onto the stage just in front of the actress. But this bottle wasn't filled with beer.

  'Christ, bloody molotovs,' Frank barked, as a sheet of flame shot up from the stage. Where the bloody hell were the riot boys when they needed them? Especially when he could guess what was coming next. He ran to the front of the stage and gestured to the actors.

  'Get off the bloody stage now,' he screamed, then howled in pain as something hard struck him on the back of the head. In front of him, he saw that Benjamin Fox had been hit too, a stream of blood flowing down his face from where the sharpened coin had sliced into his forehead. Spinning round, he saw that Eleanor had her phone focussed on the ring-leader, and was shouting out a name to him.

  But Frank didn't need the help of GCHQ's fancy beta software to recognise who stood just thirty feet from him, his face contorted with hatred. Darren Venables. The man known as D-V to his devoted following, and the self-proclaimed leader of the White British League.

  Shit. The WBL was a proscribed organisation and here was their leader blatantly committing common assault in Hyde Park and not giving a shit who witnessed it. So much for Frank's hope of a quiet day out. He knew he should wait for the riot boys to get here, but they didn't seem to be in any hurry. And the thing was, he didn't want the scumbag getting away with it. He checked in his back pocket for his handcuffs, then made the decision.

  In for a penny, in for a pound.

  Chapter 3

  The dress code on the invitation had been a bit enigmatic. Dress to Impress. What the hell did that mean in these luvvie circles? It wouldn't have mattered what Jimmy had chosen of course, because he always looked amazing straight out of the box. For Maggie, the process had been more stressful, but in the end she had decided you couldn't go too far wrong with a little black dress. Even if it was about three inches too short and half a size too small. A pair of shoes three inches higher than her normal wear had completed the transformation. Too tarty? You couldn't be too tarty in this company. And besides, a couple of complimentary proseccos into the evening, she no longer gave a monkey's what anybody thought of her appearance. Scanning the packed room, she spotted her colleague about to stuff a vol-au-vent into his mouth with the palm of his hand. She shook her glass in the air to draw his attention, drizzling herself with sticky warm fizz in the process. Bugger.

  Jimmy Stewart had interpreted the code as black tie, and was looking sensational in his elegant dinner suit and spotted bow-tie. So sensational in fact that Melody Montague, the raison d'être for their attendance at the not-quite A-listed awards event, already had him pinned against the wall. Fading soap star, that was how the red-tops generally described the serially-married actress. Serially married as in three times in real life and about the same in her role as Patty West in Bow Road. But fading? She might be a bit past her prime, but she still radiated effortless sexuality. One seriously fit bird, that's how Jimmy's brother Frank had described her when he heard they were going to meet her. Age indeterminate, anywhere between late forties and mid-fifties according to her frequently-updated Wikipedia entry. It had to be frequently updated because there was always something going on in Melody's chaotic life. Maggie made her way over to them.

  'Evening Jimmy, hope I'm not interrupting anything.'

  He smiled. 'No boss, nothing at all. This is Melody Montague by the way. Melody, meet my boss Maggie Bainbridge.'

  The actress shot Maggie a sideways glance, as if to say does this woman really not know who I am? Surely everyone knows Melody Montague. But she didn't seem too offended.

  'My new friend Jimmy here was telling me that you're going to help me with my divorce settlement.'

  'That's right,' Maggie answered, 'that's why we're here.' What she didn't say was that they were there on a bloody mission impossible, having received the legal equivalent of a hospital pass from her best friend Miss Asvina Rani, London's go-to divorce lawyer for the rich and famous. Asvina charged three hundred pounds an hour and there were no discounts, no matter how celebrated a celebrity you were. So that gave a good marker as to how loaded Melody Montague must be.

  'But it's actually your ex-husband we need to see of course. I assume he's here?'

  Melody shrugged. 'Yeah, he'll be here somewhere. Why don't you ask around for Allegra Ross? I would imagine you would find him with his little tin-pot revolutionary, tagging along like a pathetic poodle.'

  Jimmy looked at her, unsure if she was serious or not. 'Did Asvina talk to you about the plan?' he asked.

  Maggie gave a silent laugh. Actually, there wasn't a plan. How could you make a plan out of such a stupid objective? She guessed he'd have been on the end of some dumb orders in his army days, but this one was off the scale. Dumber than a dumb thing that had lost its voice.

  Melody nodded. 'She did say something about it but I didn't really take it in. You see, all I want is to make sure my pathetic ex doesn't get his hands on my assets.'

  Maggie was taken aback by the coldness in her manner. This was a man she had married hardly more than three years earlier, telling everyone who would listen that she had found her soul-mate at last and they couldn't wait to start a family. Some soul mate. The marriage had lasted barely eighteen months, but at least there hadn't been any children, who were always the innocent victims of any split. That's when it could get really bitter. And now, three months after the degree nisi and the ending of their dream, they were still haggling over the spoils.

  'Hang on,' said Jimmy, interrupting her thoughts, 'isn't that him over there?'

  He pointed across the room to a conspicuously good-looking man of about fifty who was leaning against a wall, drink in hand. But contrary to Melody's prediction, he wasn't with Allegra Ross, but with a man they didn't recognise. And as they made their way towards them, they couldn't help but recognise the corrosive atmosphere.

  'You can't do this Benjamin,' the other man was saying, his voice plaintive. 'You'll ruin my career and that's just not fair.'

  'You should have thought of that before you came up with all that shite,' Fox replied. From his faintly slurred tones, it wasn't too hard for Maggie to work out he'd been taking full advantage of the free bar.

  'You see, they're all the same,' Fox said, playing to his new audience. 'They get a third-class honours in creative writing from some ghastly provincial college and they think they're Earnest Hemmingway. But I won't have it, you see?'

  Now the other man's eyes were bulging, his face turning noticeably crimson. 'You won't get away with this you know,' he said, spitting out the words. 'This won't be the last you hear of this, believe me.'

  Fox gave a contemptuous laugh. 'Oh yes I think it will be Jack. You see, you think way too much of your meagre talents. Boys like you are simply expendable. I shall watch with great pleasure as you sink into obscurity.'

  His words seemed to tip the other man over the edge.

  'You're an evil bastard,' he sneered, jabbing his finger an inch from Fox's face, then raised his fist as if to swing a punch.

  Jimmy reacted in an instant. 'Probably not a good idea sir,' he said, taking hold of his arm and tightening his grip. 'Always best to talk these things through calmly.
' The man tried to shake himself free but Jimmy was too strong for him.

  'Let's just leave it at that sir, shall we?' Jimmy said calmly but firmly. The man shot him a defiant look but that was the limit to his reaction. Finally he mumbled,

  'Yeah, ok,' straightening his shirt as Jimmy released his grip.

  He walked away slowly, turning to direct a scowl at Benjamin Fox as he left.

  'Well thank you,' Fox said to them, struggling to regain his composure, 'I didn't really want another eye to match this one.'

  Maggie smiled. 'Yes, that eye looks painful.'

  'It's bloody sore,' he said ruefully. 'Four stitches too. They say it shouldn't leave much of a scar. But I guess I shouldn't worry at my age. Adds a bit of character, I suppose you could say. But I don't think we've met, have we?’

  'No, I'm Maggie Bainbridge and this is my colleague Jimmy Stewart. We were hoping to have a word with you about your pre-nuptial agreement with your ex-wife. But do you mind me asking what that was all about?'

  He laughed. 'Not at all, but just a moment.' He signalled to a passing waitress who came over to him holding out a tray.

  'Red's Shiraz, white's Pinot,' she said in a cockney accent worthy of Bow Road itself.

  'Thanks, I'll have one of each,' Fox said, helping himself.

  'Ah yes, the little scene. That was Jack Redmayne, one of the scriptwriters on the show, or story consultants as they like to call themselves. Frightful little weasel. So he came up with this idea that my Dr Manners character should be murdered by an aggrieved husband of one of my lovers. And it's not the first time he's come up with some crap like that. Well bollocks to that. I've just told him that I'm going straight to the producers to tell them if he continues working on the show I'm walking out. Him or me, a straightforward choice.'

  Maggie wasn't sure what to say. 'I'm afraid I don't understand the world of entertainment. But if you don't mind Benjamin, I'd like to get straight to the point. It appears that there is a bit of a misunderstanding about the pre-nup and we want to try and sort it out as soon as we can. With your assistance of course.'

  'A bit of a mix-up?' Fox said, laughing. 'That's what she's calling it, is she?'

  'Well, as you know, her copy of the agreement has been mislaid. Or to be more exact, her solicitor Mr McCartney with whom she had entrusted it seems to have mislaid it. We think as a result of his recent business difficulties.'

  'Business difficulties? Well that's one way you could describe it I suppose. What was it, five years he got?'

  Maggie nodded. 'Yes, but embezzling the client account is rather frowned on in our profession as you can imagine.' Our profession. It was so easy to forget she was no longer a lawyer.

  'Indeed, and so it should be. But getting back to the matter in question, what is this misunderstanding of which you speak?'

  She gave him a stern look. 'I think you know exactly what I'm referring to. It concerns the page that lays out how the assets should be split in the event of their divorce. You see, it appears your copy records a settlement that is quite different to that which Melody recalls.'

  In the background she could hear Jimmy humming quietly to himself. Doo-doo-doodoo-doo-doo. The opening bars of the Mission Impossible theme. She shot him an admonishing look before pressing on.

  'Miss Montague was quite clear about the intention of the original agreement. In the event of your divorce, she was entitled to seventy-five percent of the assets, and she is quite adamant that the document which was entrusted to her solicitor states that.'

  'Ah but that's where you're mistaken,' Fox replied, his tone betraying no concern, 'and it's quite extraordinary that she should think that was the split we agreed. Oh, you are correct about the proportions, but in fact it's the other way around. I get seventy-five percent and she gets twenty-five, I think you will find. That is of course simply reflecting the value of assets we each brought into the marriage.'

  She gave him a bewildered look. 'But that's not what we were led to believe by Miss Montague. She was quite sure about it.'

  There was an edge to his reply, the subject matter seemingly having the effect of sobering him up. 'You know, this is quite ridiculous. I've no idea what kind of stunt she is trying to pull here. But I can guess why she's doing it. She simply wants to prevent me getting what's legally mine. Please understand, I don't intend to let that happen.'

  Maggie knew from personal experience the rancour that could be unleashed when a marriage fell apart, but though Fox's outburst was controlled, the underlying anger was obvious. Perhaps it wasn't surprising when, as she understood from Asvina, a couple of million pounds or more could be at stake.

  'But anyway,' he continued, 'there's quite an easy solution to all of this.'

  Maggie had a pretty good idea where the conversation was heading.

  'You only have to speak to the witnesses, surely? That's what they were there for after all. And maybe you should pay a little visit to Pentonville prison too. After all, it was Blake McCartney who drew the thing up. I'm sure he can put you straight.'

  'Yes, we'll do that,' Maggie said, her tone sharper than she would have liked. 'But as you suggest, we do intend speaking to the other witnesses. In fact we hope to have a word with Charles Grant this evening. He was a witness, wasn't he?'

  He shrugged. 'He was, and I've no reason to doubt his recollection will be the same as my own.'

  'Aye, but what about the other one?' Jimmy said enquiringly. 'Kylie Ward. What will her take be on the matter?'

  Fox smiled. 'I'm afraid that may pose some difficulties. You see I'm sad to say that Kylie Ward died nine months ago.'

  'What?' Maggie blurted it out, unable to conceal her dismay at this further complication to a matter that was already proving complex enough.

  'Yes, she was killed in a road traffic accident near her home in Surbiton. A hit and run. It was a terrible tragedy. I was very upset by her death of course.'

  'She was your friend?'

  'Not exactly. More of a business acquaintance I suppose. She worked as a kind of gopher for my agent. But I did know her quite well.'

  'Well enough to have her witness important documents like this one?'

  'I wasn't aware witnesses required any particular connection to the parties,' he said sharply. 'It is enough that they are present at the signing. But all of this of course is quite irrelevant, since there is no doubt that I have the correct document. I don't know how I can make it any plainer than that.'

  Maggie felt herself beginning to agree with Jimmy. There really wasn't anywhere this could go but downwards. Mission Impossible. But Asvina had dispatched them on this mission with clear orders, and they were honour-bound to go through with it as specified. So she went for it.

  'Benjamin, this could all be settled quite straightforwardly if you were to accept that in fact Melody's version of the agreement is the correct one. Wouldn't it be great if it could be all done and dusted without any recourse to the courts?' Said out loud, it sounded even more desperate than when she was formulating it in her mind. And it got the exact response she was expecting. In fact, worse than she was expecting. Because now his manner had turned decidedly nasty.

  'Look I don't know how to put this politely Maggie, so I won't even try. So let me just express it as plainly as I can. You can tell Melody that if she wants me to keep my side of our little arrangement, she had better give up this ridiculous charade and pay me what I'm due. Is that plain enough for you?'

  It was plain enough for her to understand the words but that didn't mean she knew what he meant. But that would have to wait for later. She could always recognise when it was time to sound the retreat and live to fight another day. And this was such a time.

  She gave him a half-smile. 'Well thank you Benjamin for speaking to us. I'm afraid the whole situation is very confusing and so I think we've probably taken it as far as we can today.'

  'No hard feelings,' he said, his good humour returning. 'I'm sure you will be able to clear it all very nicely with
Melody. But if you will excuse me now. The tabloid press is very keen to talk to Allegra and me about yesterday's events and we mustn't keep them waiting, must we? But first, I need another drink.'

  ◆◆◆

  'Our little arrangement? What do you think he meant by that?'

  Maggie and Jimmy had retreated to the bar and now he was putting into words what she had been thinking. Yes, exactly what had he meant by that?

  'I don't know Jimmy, but there was something odd about the whole conversation. I don't know what it was, but I don't think he was telling the truth.' She took a sip from her prosecco, cautioning herself that this should be her last.

  'But we've seen his document and it definitely backs up his version of what was agreed.'

  Maggie nodded. 'Yes, but documents can very easily be doctored.'

  Which was why it was going to be so important to see what they witness had to say on the matter. Or the witness, to be exact, given that the other one had, rather inconveniently, died only nine months earlier. Idly, she wondered if that was a plotline that Jack Redmayne could use.

  Chapter 4

  He had a reputation for being difficult, Charles Grant, both on and off screen, but as an A-lister of the soap genre, if that wasn't an oxymoron, it was perhaps to be expected. That evening, he was also proving to be a difficult man to gain an audience with.

  'I've been hanging around him for the last ten minutes,' Jimmy said, 'but he always seems to be with someone. You see, there he is over there.'

  Maggie looked over to where he was pointing.

  'Yes, and do you see who he's talking to now?'

  'Aye, I see who it is. Come on, I think we can wander over and introduce ourselves.'

  Grant was with Benjamin Fox and an actress who Maggie recognised as Sharon Trent, another member of the cast of Bow Road. Whatever it was they had been talking about, it looked like the subject was serious. Serious enough for them to immediately clam up when Maggie and Jimmy approached.