Under the Starlight Sky

by Daniel Elijah Sanderfer

  I waved in dismissal as he wrote a follow-up, “Why was he so beat-up?”

  I frowned and replied, “His grandfather tried to kill him after seeing us making out in the meadow.”

  He slammed his fist on the table and groaned as he pointed. When he gets angry, he tries to shout and can’t so I attempted to calm him down. He was having none of it as he wrote with a trembling hand, “Grab your friend and take me over there!”

  I replied with a worried tone, “What if Mr. Hubbard tries to hurt him again.”

  Grandpa scribbled, “If he does, I’ll kick his ass. I used to whoop him when he was your age and I still can.”

  Grandpa was always a stout man, six-foot-three of solid muscle from being a farmer and being in the Army when he was young. I never doubted for a second, even in his disabled condition that he could whoop Mr. Hubbard. Jacobi was sliding on his shirt when I peeked into the room, “Um, Grandpa wants me to take him to the farm.”

  “What for?” Jacobi asked with a terrified expression.”

  I held up my hand to deescalate the situation, “I told him about what your grandfather did to you and he wants to have a talk with him.”

  Jacobi whimpered, “Please don’t let him hurt me again.”

  I approached him and held his face in my hands, “I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again!”

  We kissed, then I took his hand to lead him downstairs. Grandpa was already waiting by the door when we arrived and motioned for us to come.

  We reluctantly followed as he stormed toward the truck. I made one last attempt to calm him down, “Grandpa, you don’t have to do this. Jacobi is with us now. Let’s just stay home let this die.”

  He took my hand and squeezed it tightly, then met my gaze with a stern expression. It was then I knew there was no changing his mind. Whatever the reason he felt so compelled to confront Mr. Hubbard was deeper than just an attack on his grandson. I could tell by the tears in the corners of his eyes, that this was personal.

  He gestured with his hand for Jacobi to get in the middle. He did, then Grandpa got in and closed the door. I made my way around to the driver’s side and started up the truck. The few minute drive to the farm was silent and pensive. We pulled up in front Jacobi’s house and he slumped down in the seat. Mr. Hubbard was sitting on the porch and stood as grandfather got out.

  “You!” Grandfather said with a slur.

  Mr. Hubbard smeared on a fake-smile and shouted, “What do you know, Joe?”

  Grandpa growled, “Why’d you beat this boy?”

  He brushed his knuckles on his coveralls and shook his head, “I’m certain I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Grandpa motioned for us to come and we did. I held tightly to Jacobi’s hand as we stood safely behind him. Then he pointed at Mr. Hubbard, “This boy needs his things, and you’re going to let him get them.”

  Mr. Hubbard snarled, “If that boy steps foot on my porch, I’ll shoot him dead.”

  I placed my hand on Grandpa’s shoulder and snapped, “Let’s just go, we don’t need anything from that monster.”

  He spit in my direction and mumbled, “You’re fired, by the way.” Then he diverted his gaze and quipped, “Little faggot!”

  That’s when Grandpa pounced, “You’re one to talk Hue!”

  He began walking toward Mr. Hubbard, “Remember those nights we used to spend as boys here on the farm?”

  The man stiffened his upper lip, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He stepped up onto the porch, “I can still whoop your ass, just like I did back then.”

  Jacobi’s mother emerged and she ran toward him with open arms, “Oh, my child. I was so worried. Where have you been?”

  He pointed to me, “At Oliver’s.”

  She separated from him, “You must come home immediately so we can cure you.”

  He pulled away from her and shook his head, “No!”. Silence lingered between them before she pleaded with him, “Please, I don’t want to lose my son.”

  He shouted in reply, “And I don’t want to be anything I’m not. If the price of loving a boy is my soul then eternal damnation be damned.”

  He ran to me and took my hand before he turned back to her, “I love Oliver, and I’d rather die a sinner than live my life as a hypocrite.”

  Mr. Hubbard shouted, “Blasphemy,” prompting my grandfather to punch him in the mouth. Both men tumbled over, prompting Jacobi and me to run to my grandfather’s aid. Jacobi’s mother rushed to Mr. Hubbard and shrieked, “Stop this violence!”

  As we helped my Grandpa sit up he pointed at Mr. Hubbard and said, “The only reason you hit that boy is because he’s living the life you never got the chance to!”

  The man covered his ears and roared, “Shut up! Shut up! I’m a good man! I did right by the Lord and changed my evil ways!”

  Grandpa stood to his feet, “You always were a spiteful man; hiding your desires from your friends even after I protected your reputation.”

  Mr. Hubbard stood and quipped, “You’re one to talk! You went off to Nam without as much as a goodbye.”

  “I had nothing to say to you after you let your friends tie me to that tractor and almost drag me to my death!”

  My eyes welled up with tears as I interjected, “You tried to kill him, too!”

  Grandpa held up his hand, “Hold your tongue, boy! Go get Jacobi’s things!”

  Mr. Hubbard glared at us as he said, “Daughter, take the boy to get his things!”

  I turned to Grandpa, “Will you be alright?”

  He nodded and held his gaze with Mr. Hubbard’s. I kept glancing back to check on him as Jacobi’s mother led us up the stairs to his room. The room had been stripped clean with the exception of a small box of clothes and personal things sitting on the bed.

  A look of shock invaded his expression as he glanced around then slowly walked toward the bed. He picked up the box and turned to his mother, “How could you?”

  She remained silent and turned her gaze away from us. He whispered, “I see…”

  The words froze in the air like a frosty breath during wintertime. As he passed by her, he mumbled, “Goodbye, Mother…forever.”

  As he stepped back into the hallway, I gripped his shoulders and followed him back down the stairs. With a glance back to her, I shook my head with disgust and we exited. Once we were back outside, I kept my strong stance, “Are you ready pops?”

  He nodded silently then lifted his hand to point at Mr. Hubbard, “No matter how hard you try, you can’t erase what’s in your heart.”

  Jacobi and I loaded his things on the truck as Grandpa hobbled our way. I tousled his hair and mumbled, “Are you okay?”

  He shook his head no and took a ragged breath, “No, but I will be in time.”

  From the porch, Hue shouted, “Joe?”

  Grandpa turned to face him as the man mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

  Grandpa waved in dismissal and walked over to Jacobi and me. He lifted his hand and patted Jacobi on the cheek as he whispered, “Time doesn’t heal the heart, it just dulls the pain, Remember that my boy!”

  Jacobi nodded as Grandpa smiled and turned to get into the truck. Later that evening, Grandpa explained that he and Hue Hubbard had a tryst just like Jacobi and I. They were discovered in a compromising position down by the same lake where Jacobi and I shared our moment by some friends of theirs. When confronted, Hue denied everything and claimed he was seduced.

  One night he and his friends got drunk and decided to punish Grandpa Joe for his sins. So, they tied him the back of a tractor and drug him for several hundred feet before he was able to escape. The next day he decided to enlist in the Army so he could get away from this wicked little town.

  When he got back, that’s when he met Grandma and the rest is history. He also told us that he’d always liked boys, but back then boys weren’t supposed to like boys that way. Jacobi and I smiled at one another at his statement. He even told us while he was over
seas he spent many a night with a pretty young man to help ease the pain, but nothing ever compared to moments he shared with Hue. He told us that for the longest time he was angry that Hue didn’t stand up for him and pretended like they never loved at all. But what hurt him the most was that he was willing to let him die just to ease his guilt.

  With a ragged breath, he stood and said, “For the longest time, I couldn’t bring myself to even talk to him, but it was your grandma that made me realize that grudges didn’t solve anything. She may have not been the person I was meant to be with, but I learned to love her and she helped me heal from the betrayal and pain.

  In another world, in another place in time I like to think I would have met a nice guy like Jacobi here, and we’d have fallen in love and lived happily ever after. But, if it weren’t for your Grandma, I would have never known the joy of being a father and a grandfather.”

  He yawned and tousled my hair, “If there was ever a doubt in your mind that I love you. I want to clear that up right now. I love you, Oliver; I always have and always will.”

  I sniffled, “Aw, Grandpa; I love you too!”

  He wrapped his arms tightly around me and rested his chin on my shoulder, “Never miss a chance to tell someone you love them, even if they don’t love you back. All the love you give will eventually come back to you.”

  We separated and he muttered, “I’m going to bed. You boys have a good night.”

  Once Grandpa had gone to bed, Jacobi and I got his things from the back of the truck and I made a place for him in my room. My mind was heavy with worry. Even though Jacobi and I were together now, how were we going to make it? We were barely getting by when it was just me and Grandpa. Now, that Jacobi was with us it’d be even harder, but like Grandma always used to say, “The Lord will provide.”

  JACOBI

  In the weeks following the confrontation, I settled into a routine at Oliver and his Grandpa’s. I tried to earn my keep by taking care of projects around the house and helping take care of Grandpa Joe. We weren’t rich by any means, but we had everything we needed. The little garden Ollie had planted earlier in the year had reaped enough vegetables and things to get us through the winter. For meat, Ollie and I would go hunting in the woods behind the house for deer, rabbit, squirrels, whatever we could come up with.

  As the season changed and the holidays approached Grandpa Joe got sicker. It eventually got to where he wouldn't get out of bed. Thanksgiving was fast approaching and his only wish was to have one more dinner at the table with his boys before he died.

  We made that wish come true. I went out the day before and shot us a wild turkey and Oliver stayed up all night preparing it. I was feeling kind of down missing mother and the farm; it’s always so magical in Starlight this time of year. Pretty soon Christmas would be here and families will be making their pilgrimage to the tree orchard to pick out their Christmas tree.

  As tired as Oliver was, he still managed to pull together a nice feast for the three of us. Grandpa Joe was beaming from ear to ear as he sat at the table and gazed at the bounty before us. He scribbled in his little notepad for me to say the blessing and I did, “We thank you oh Lord for your many blessings on us and for the gift of this feast. May you hold in your hands those who are less fortunate on this day and forgive us any trespasses. Also, bless mom and grandfather too. Amen.”

  With a unified Amen, we began to eat. Afterward, we all retired to the living room and eventually fell asleep. Ollie and I awoke later in the night and covered Grandpa Joe up before going to our room. We weren’t sure how much time we had left with him, but we were going to enjoy every moment we could together before he crossed over to the other side.

  A few days into December, we woke up to terrible frost that covered everything like snow. Winter had arrived early and the old farmhouse was bone-chilling cold. I bundled up and got some wood from the shop to make a fire in the old wood-stove while Ollie made some coffee.

  When I came back inside, I saw the door to Grandpa Joe’s room open at the end of the hall. “Ollie?” I said as I got closer. I could hear soft crying as I peeked inside and found him lying on top of Grandpa’s chest. He turned to me and whimpered, “He’s gone.”

  I rushed to the bed and pulled him into my arms as I whispered, “He’s with your Grandma now.”

  Ollie squeaked, “But how are we supposed to go on without him?”

  I kissed his forehead and sighed, “Just like it always has and always will, love will show us how.”

  And he sobbed, “My family is gone…”

  I pushed him away and cupped his face in my hands as I said, “I’m here and I always will be.”

  He collapsed into my arms again, “I’ll never feel his arms around me again, or see the gleam in his eye when he’s about to say something clever. I’ll never hear another story about him and Grandma or his advice…”

  His words trailed off as I whispered, “I know, but just because his body has died doesn’t mean he’s gone. His spirit will live on forever.”

  Oliver lifted from me and met my gaze as I continued, “All the words he ever said, all the memories you made together will always be with you.”

  I pointed at his chest and smiled, “Right here…in your heart.”

  Then with a gentle kiss to his forehead, I wrapped my arms all the way around him just the way Grandpa Joe used to do and I said, “I’m your family now and I will always love you.”

  Then he whimpered and buried his face in my chest again, “Oh Jacobi, I love you so much.”

  It took a while for the coroner to get to us, but by the time he did, Oliver had calmed down a little. He was still distraught that he didn’t get to say goodbye, but I assured him the Grandpa Joe knew he loved him with all of his heart.

  A few days later, a tiny little graveside service was held at St. Mary’s. Thankfully, Grandpa Joe had just enough life insurance to get him a respectable casket and have him buried next to Grandma. No one showed up but Oliver and me. It was okay because Grandpa Joe didn’t know very many people.

  After the ceremony, Ollie and I took a walk through the cemetery. The trees were barren and the scattered leaves that once filled their mighty branches littered the ground. Ollie stopped for a moment and cleared off a headstone that bore a lady’s name, Ellen Renae Thomas. He turned to me and mumbled, “Jacobi, this is my mom.”

  I pulled off my hat and bowed at her headstone, “Pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

  Ollie smiled, “I like to think she would have liked you a lot. Grandma and Grandpa said she was a wild one, with long curly brown hair and eyes like mine.”

  I smiled at him, “If her eyes were anything like yours then I can just imagine she was quite a beautiful woman.”

  Ollie blushed, then removed the rose from his lapel before placing it on her headstone, “If I don’t see you before Christmas, Merry Christmas, mama.”

  As he turned to me, I took his hand and gestured for him to follow me. “We walked several hundred feet before we came to a large headstone bearing the name, Jacobi Harlow, Sr.”

  Oliver met my gaze and smiled, “Your father?”

  I nodded silently and removed the rose from my lapel before placing it on his headstone. The sound of the wind rustled the branches in the trees overhead before I stooped to one knee. I’d been waiting for the right moment for some time. Some might think it unconventional, but since he didn’t have anyone for me to ask permission from I figured now was the perfect time to let him know that he’ll never be alone.

  “What’re you doing?” Oliver said with a curious expression.

  I tried to hold back tears as I replied, “I know we’ve been through a lot together but every time I try to picture my life without you, I can’t. You’ve become my family and just as the sky can’t hold the rain, the love I feel for you in my heart can’t be contained any longer.”

  Oliver’s trembling hand folded over his lips as he whimpered, “What’re you trying to say?”

  From with
in my pocket, I pulled out a ring. A ring his grandfather had given to me and said, “The day you rescued me, as I was running away from my grandfather’s house, you promised you would never let anyone hurt me again. Now it’s time that I return the favor. Oliver Thomas, will you marry me?”

  In a rush of tears, he nodded a silent yes, I slipped the ring on his hand and took him into my arms. Right here, before God, and as the early Winter wind danced around us Oliver and I became more than just friends.

  A few days after Grandpa Joe died, a lawyer came by the house and knocked on the door. I answered and he introduced himself as he offered his hand for me to shake. I invited him in and Oliver joined us from around the corner. “What’s going on? He said as he took a seat next to me on the sofa.

  The attorney proceeded. “I’m the attorney for your late grandparents, Joseph and Effie May Thomas. I’ve come to read you the last will of your Grandpa Joe.”

  “Oh,” He replied with a confused expression. “I didn’t know he and Grandma had anything!”

  The lawyer continued, “To my dearest grandson, Oliver, I bequeath my entire estate including but not limited to all checking and savings accounts, vehicles, and the house located at 1111 St Mary’s Church Road, Navilleton, Indiana.”

  Oliver turned to me and burst into tears as the lawyer offered a handkerchief for him to dry his tears. His voice was soft and empathetic, “Your grandfather had quite a large amount in savings. A sum of over fifty thousand dollars which is enough to pay off the remaining balance of the mortgage and help you live comfortably for quite some time.”

  I hugged Oliver tightly and kissed his head as I said, “We made it after all…”

  That Christmas, we had the merriest little Christmas of all. We managed to pay off the remainder of the mortgage on the house and have a central heat and air pump installed. We stashed a little away to live on for a while and the following Spring we had a tiny little wedding at the justice of the peace in town.

  CHAPTER FOUR