Beaker to Life

by Ottilie Weber

  “I don’t want you to be afraid.”

  Before I knew what was happening, my lips touched hers, soft pink lips against mine lightly. I barely pressed, and Madeline didn’t lean into me. Slowly we pulled away just enough to look into each other’s eyes. I don’t know who was more confused.

  “Sawyer!” I heard his loud, deep voice entering the house. “Where the hell is the computer chair?”

  Slowly I got up to bring the chair downstairs to him without ever turning to look at her. My head was spinning. The wheels from the chair laid on the floor outside of Madeline’s door. I would get it from my dad, but my mind was too busy swimming in a fog to care about that.

  I was finishing brushing my teeth for school as Madeline walked by me. She was in a sweater and jeans; her hair was down. Her eyes were on the ground, and she disappeared downstairs. I spat and headed downstairs myself. We put on our coats and grabbed our bags. Peeking outside the window, Ricky was already here. I opened the door, and we made our way to his car in our driveway. Her gaze was still to the ground. I climbed into the back seat with Justin as Madeline had to jump into the front. I buckled up. We were out of the neighborhood before anyone spoke.

  “What is going on between you two?”

  “I’m just tired.” Madeline whispered.

  “Yeah, didn’t sleep last night.” I mumbled.

  Ricky’s eyes met mine briefly in the review mirror before going back to the road. I was sure I’d hear it later from him or Justin. Justin started to complain about his English teacher. I saw Madeline’s face reflecting off the window as she stared out. I didn’t lie. I didn’t sleep last night. Today was going to be long.

  At lunch, Ricky beat me. He had some sandwich from home, and I sat next to him. He didn’t usually beat me.

  “Where’s Madeline?” I asked.

  “I ran into her. She said she had some project to work on and that she would be eating in the library.”

  I nodded my head as I opened my lunch.

  “So, care to explain to me why you two aren’t speaking to each other?”

  I looked up, and Ricky had one eyebrow raised. I gulped, and I felt my ears heating up.

  “Honestly? No.”

  Ricky nodded. “Spill, because it’s obviously bothering you, and you look like you’re ready to explode.”

  I glanced around. The whole room was busy, and Justin hadn’t walked in yet.

  “My dad had Madeline locked in her room all day yesterday that’s why she wasn’t here.”

  Ricky’s jaw clenched, and he shook his head.

  “I broke down her door. Dad said he’d get a new one today and that I owed him money for a new door. I’m having to break into my car fund, which is fine by me. Madeline was hiding in her closet. I went in to get her. We were sitting together.” I paused, taking in a deep breath. “We might have kissed briefly.”

  Ricky’s jaw dropped. “What?”

  “It was short, and I pulled away right after.” I stammered.

  “I can’t believe it. Well, I can to a point you two are close, but gees.”

  I closed my eyes and buried my face in my hands.

  “I know.”

  “What are you going to do now?”

  I shook my head and lowered my hands slightly.

  “No idea.”

  “Well, you’ll have to think of something. You can’t avoid Maddie forever.”

  “I know that.” I snapped. “I just don’t know how to handle this situation.”

  Ricky sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know. Part of me thought you two liked each other on some level. That kiss was like Pandora’s Box. I don’t think you can unsee once you’ve opened it up.”

  I groaned and slumped in my chair.

  “Thanks.”

  “Now Sawyer, don’t get yourself into trouble, we’re going to dinner, and the last thing I need when I get home is your mess.”

  I just nodded my head as my eyes glued to the TV in the living room. I didn’t want to even look at my father again for locking her up. I couldn’t look at Madeline. She and I haven’t spoken, looked, or been near each other since we kissed two weeks ago. She’d manage to eat her lunch in the library every day. I don’t know if I should say something or what I would say if we did speak. Her silence made me wonder if she was just as confused as I was.

  Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Madeline looking towards the door wearing a simple pink dress, definitely the wrong type of clothing next to my father, who was in a tux. My dad was going to get yelled at for that one. Suppose the other scientist knew how he treated her. I bet things would change. I still didn’t understand why Madeline didn’t tell any of them.

  I watched the two of them leave without another word. Not another word to each other or me. Not even a glance in each other’s direction. No Madeline to talk to. Leaving me alone muddled, frustrated, and feeling just plain dumb. I didn’t even have to work at the food store to occupy my thoughts.

  Standing outside with my hands shoved deep into my coat pockets, my breath came out in puffs. My brain was still filled with mud, but a smile was on my face. My neighbor and I were standing outside of his car. He was signing a piece of paper, and I could feel my heart pounding. It was pounding out a song of freedom.

  “Sawyer, any father would be proud to see how hard you worked towards this car. I want you to know that.”

  My neighbor grinned at me. His silver hair was poking out from under his hat. He insisted on doing this inside, but I was ready to get going before my dad questioned where I was.

  “Thanks.”

  My neighbor nodded. “I just want you to know that.”

  My smile dimmed. “Thank you.”

  My neighbor sighed and handed me the title of the car. “You are now officially a car owner. One big step towards freedom.”

  If he only knew.

  Part Three

  Almost a year later

  6

  Madeline

  I stared mindlessly at the choir room's multitoned carpet while playing with the end of the braid. My mouth wasn't even pretending to sing the song that Mrs. Cage was playing.

  "Madeline, stay after the bell. I need to speak to you."

  The freshman giggled as I nodded my head. The rest of the class dragged on until the bell rang. Slowly I picked up my books and waited for Mrs. Cage to finish whatever it was at the computer. She sighed and fixed her glasses.

  "What happened?"

  "What are you talking about?" I asked lightly without looking at her.

  "Um, what is the right way of putting it? You seem out of it, drained. You don't seem to have the same fire in your eyes when you came here last year." her voice was gentle with genuine concern. "You were shy last year, but you just seem withdrawn now."

  I let out a small sigh escaping my lips as I tightened my hold on my books.

  "I don't know…"

  I could feel her eyes draw mine up from the ground to her.

  "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

  "No, he hadn't" I shook my head, but my heart raced.

  "I just worry about you." Her usual loud voice was soft.

  Mrs. Cage shouldn't worry. Being locked up scared me and leaving me in with the shadows that still haunt me without anyone to protect me. That small kiss that we had shared killed the one real friend I had. It made me feel awkward around everyone, including myself. Losing Sawyer's friendship was what got me because I was not ready to lose it. I was officially alone. All I had left was Dr. Vodola and the frozen eyes that haunted me.

  "Now as you know the concert is about two weeks away and I checked to make sure that the dinner party thing is the week after. So, you'll be singing at this concert."

  I just stared at her, not sure what to say. I thought Dr. Vodola ruined my chances last year. I was surprised that he let me continue taking choir this year. Then again, I needed some art credits to graduate. He didn't know how many, though. I was beyond nervous for soloing, yet I was disappointed tha
t I couldn't sing after all, that the choice wasn't in my hands.

  "Now, your song is on the table, and here is your pass to your class."

  Sitting on my bed, I read the sheet music in front of me, running the words through my head. Every rest and note read made the butterflies flutter harder in my stomach. I gnawed on my lip.

  "Madeline, come down to dinner." Dr. Vodola called me.

  Placing the music under my pillow, I quickly went downstairs before being told a second time. When I got to the table, there was a plate already at my spot.

  "Sawyer, did you finish that last college application?" Dr. Vodola spoke up in a flat voice.

  I had no idea where Sawyer was applying. Sawyer and his dad never talked about details at the table. Sawyer and I haven't spoken in about a year. We'd converse, but we wouldn't share like we used to. So many times, I had to stop myself from going next door to his room after having nightmares, but I couldn't bring myself to knock on his door. Sawyer had been spending so much time outside of the house it was rare that he was even home for dinner. Now he was going to leave me forever. Once he left his father, there was no way Sawyer would want to come back. I think Sawyer would rather live in a cardboard box than continue to live with his dad.

  "Yeah, I finished," Sawyer answered shortly.

  Silence.

  "The date for the ball hasn't changed, has it?" I inquired quietly, poking my dinner, refusing to look up.

  "That night is set in stone. The invitations have gone out, and I'm sure that the coordinator has ordered decorations and food. The President and the first lady are going this year. Why do you ask?"

  "The Choir concert-"

  "Not this crap again!" Dr. Vodola slammed down his glass on the table, shards of glass and his water scattered across the table.

  I jumped at the sound, and then the room became full of pure silence as he glared at me, leaving me shaking.

  "Why do you keep bringing this singing nonsense up? I knew I shouldn't have allowed you to join the choir in the first place. Yet, those stupid scientists continue to tell me you need exposure to everything, including the arts. You will not be going to the concert. You have too much going on for you academically that you don't need that fluff."

  "Why? Why can't she?" Sawyer yelled, standing up to face his father.

  Seeing them standing together, Sawyer was close to his father's size now. They were almost eye to eye with each other.

  "You're back to defending her?" Dr. Vodola scuffed.

  "Yeah, someone has to protect her from you."

  "Sit down and shut up already. You don't get the bigger picture."

  "No!"

  My throat tightened as the breath seemed to have become stuck inside my lungs.

  Was I supposed to stop their yelling? I just wanted to curl over and cover my ears with my hands.

  "You will listen to me!"

  "Why should I? You're no father!"

  "You're just an idiotic idealist just like your mother!"

  "Well, it beats being a bastard." Sawyer's eyes narrowed, and his fists were tight at his sides.

  The next second before I knew it, Sawyer stumbled against the wall as the thud of Dr. Vodola's fist collided with Sawyer's face. A squeak escaped my lips as the room paused. Both males were fuming, but I was worried that Sawyer would get hurt. Would I be next?

  With my eyes wide, as I just watched the scene in front of me unravel, before I could blink, Sawyer punched Dr. Vodola. Sawyer took hold of my wrist, yanking me out of the room. We ran towards the garage as Dr. Vodola's voice was behind us.

  Sawyer jumped into the driver's side of his car, leaving me confused. Shaking my head, I got into the other side. Sawyer pulled down his visor, and his keys fell into his lap. Before I could put my seatbelt on, we were out of the garage and speeding down the street. Quickly I put on my seatbelt.

  "Sawyer-"

  "Just give me a minute, please," Sawyer answered, cutting me off with his eyes glued to the road.

  Sawyer's eyes were still ahead as he turned up the already heavy music. His knuckles were turning white around the wheel, except for the couple that had blood on them. After a couple of minutes of speeding and sharp turns, we pulled into a driveway of a ranch-style house.

  "Where are we?" I asked quietly, worried he would turn on me next.

  "We're at Ricky's house. He's at college, and his parents are away for their anniversary, or it was an anniversary gift, one of the two I don't remember. I've agreed to watch their house. So, we can hide out here for a while."

  Still not looking at me, Sawyer turned off the car and started heading to the front door. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and then followed Sawyer to the house. Unlocking the door, we went in. There were plants in matching pots in corners, windowsills, and one on the table. Between the cat sleeping on the couch and the plants, I saw why they had asked someone to check on the house.

  Turning to face me, he reached over my shoulder to turn on the lights.

  "Sawyer-"

  "Give me a couple more minutes."

  Sighing, I went over to the couch, folding my legs under me watching him walk out of the room. The house was quiet as my eyes took in my surroundings. The room was full of soft colors, family pictures on all the walls, and dark green leaves everywhere. I was beginning to feel like I was in a jungle.

  Feeling slight movement next to me, I looked over to see the orange cat stretch and walk next to me. The animal collapsed down next to me and fell asleep like he hadn't slept before. Gently I gave him soft strokes against the short orange fur.

  After a few minutes, Sawyer didn't show up, so I went to look for him. I turned out of the living room, and the bathroom door was open. In front of the sink, Sawyer was leaning over to look in the mirror. Walking over to Sawyer, he didn't move. Watching Sawyer in the mirror, I was watching his features. When my eyes met his, I noticed the black eye forming.

  "Oh my God," I whispered, and he finally turned to look at me. "Let's get you some ice or something."

  "I'm fine."

  "You have a black eye!"

  "And my father probably has a broken nose." Sawyer's voice was dry.

  "Thank you for standing up for me, and I'm sorry for this whole mess," I whispered, crossing my arms over my chest.

  An arm wrapped around my shoulder to bring me close to a solid chest.

  "I've been a crappy friend, and I'm sorry. You just better not chicken out on singing after all of this," Sawyer added, trying to lighten the mood as he ruffled the top of my head like he used to.

  "Ah, don't do that! I have not missed that."

  I had.

  While I was trying to fix my hair, Sawyer left the room, chuckling to himself. I missed that deepening laugh. Following him, I had a feeling he was going to look for food, and we hadn't finished dinner when we left.

  "How long are we staying here?"

  "Not sure," Sawyer answered, staring into the fridge.

  "Any rough ideas?"

  "I'm planning on us staying here for a couple of days at least. I'd been popping in here the last two, and they're gone for another week."

  "Us? Days?"

  He turned to me.

  "Well yeah us. I'm not leaving you alone with my dad. And I'm not going near that man anytime soon. So yes, yes and days."

  "I understand, but we can't stay here forever. Our stuff for school tomorrow is in that house."

  "For tomorrow, go unprepared and wear Ricky's older sister's clothes. After school, while he's at work, I'll go over and get some stuff."

  "Sawyer, you know I'm always here for you, but is this wise?"

  I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. Shyly I stared at him, finally realizing he wasn't that little kid I grew up with anymore.

  Sawyer was always taller than me, but it was different now. Standing next to his dad, he was adult height. His shoulders were broader. Sawyer always had been protective, but he'd never hit anyone before, let alone his dad.


  Yet, I saw his brownish-green eyes. There was confusion and anger, but I could still see some of the old Sawyer in there somewhere. Walking over to him, he was watching my every move, not sure what to do.

  Almost hesitantly, I reached up to push the brown strands out of his eyes. I saw the tiny bits of green in those brown orbs. Sawyer's eyes were searching in mine. I found the guy I've known my whole life.

  "I'm serious. I've missed you." I whispered.

  "Same here," his features softened as my hand was on his face. His voice was gentle this time.

  "Should we talk about what happened that day and tonight?" I finally was able to ask.

  Something changed in his eyes.

  "No," Sawyer spoke as he walked out of the room.

  Shaking my head, I went into Ricky's sister's room, which was pale lime green and black all over. This family had a thing for green. Crawling into one of her oversized shirts and pants, I went to sleep feeling odd in another person's house.

  We were talking to each other, slowly trying to work on what we used to have. Being there nearly a week, I wondered if Sawyer thought we could live there like that forever. We had some food at the house, we attempted to cook some dinners, and we went to school. Not that I didn't understand that he was afraid or frustrated that his father hit him. Thinking of that reminded me of when Dr. Vodola had his fingers around my throat. It was a very traumatic experience. No one should have to be strangled by a parental figure. Or, in his case, getting smacked then having to turn around and return the hit.

  I was drawing my knees into my chest with my hands inside the sweatshirt. I was hiding in the corner of my closet in my room, collecting my thoughts for a moment. It was the first time that I was home since the fight. I was supposed to be getting ready for the concert, but I was afraid.

  Taking deep breaths, I slowly stood up and got dressed in black concert attire. The black dress ended at my knees and was sleeveless. Slipping on my shoes, I walked out of the closet. I ran out of the room with my jacket, putting it on before Sawyer could see me.