Beaker to Life

by Ottilie Weber

  "Well, duh! Do I look like an adult?" Madeline looked up at me with that innocent face.

  "You look beautiful…"

  The tux was on my floor as the television screen lit up my room. I was waiting for Madeline to start the move, though she would wait until my dad was asleep. She didn't know what he's accused us of, I hadn't told her, and I doubted he had said anything to her face as he did to me. Madeline probably wouldn't even look at me again if she knew he thought we were having sex. I threw the blanket over my legs as I heard the bathroom sink turn back on. She was not known for wearing the amount of make-up she wore today. Other than Madeline in the bathroom and my television, I could not hear any movement in the house, so my dad must have been asleep.

  A minute later, my door timidly opened as she peeked through the small door. She squeezed herself through the door and closed it quietly, keeping her other hand on the door until it was in the nook. Madeline walked over to my bed and sat next to me. Madeline was smiling at me, and her frame seemed even smaller in one of my old shirts. Most of her pajamas were some of my old ones or old t-shirts that did not fit. I looked to see one of the plaid pants that were now too short for me but were a little long on her—grinning as I watched her knees closer to herself and her arms wrapped around them.

  "Comfortable?" I asked.

  She laughed.

  "Yes."

  "What movie are you in the mood for?" I asked, leaning back onto the pile of pillows behind me.

  "Hmm, not sure." She titled her head.

  I lifted part of the covers next to me, and she just crawled under with me. Her face was near mine, and I relaxed more, seeing her bright smiling face. I told Ricky that she still occasionally came to bed to sleep like this, and he seemed a little surprised. Justin did not seem happy about hearing this last time we hung out, but I did not see a problem. We had been doing this for years. Madeline and I were just close. She glanced over to the TV.

  "We could just watch TV. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to be awake."

  "Sounds like a plan."

  I put the remote off to the side and shifted a little. Madeline turned herself and placed her head on my chest so that her face was towards the screen. Every inch of Madeline touched me, legs slightly tangled. I fixed the blankets so that she was covered. One arm wrapped around her back. I was finally in my element.

  8

  Madeline

  Winter break was starting, not that it mattered in our household. There were no decorations, or a tree, or even presents in the home. There hadn't been a celebration since Sawyer learned there was no Santa. I didn't get much of the festivities, but when Sawyer and I were younger, he would always manage to get me a candy cane. There was a Christmas or two he would leave me and celebrate with some of his family. I got a lot of studying done during those times. Though I felt sick knowing that it was coming soon, Sawyer would be leaving for school, and this was the last break we would have together. We weren't talking when he was applying to schools, so I didn't know where he was hoping to go, but I could only assume that the colleges far from here.

  I was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans in my room while quietly skimmed through a page in a book. I was so tired I couldn't concentrate on the book. Just one nightmare after another the night before, and I couldn't stay awake. Her dead eyes were always watching me. I had been back in Dr. Vodola's lab in the basement, walking around. Whispering was drawing me further into the lab. Then there she was, the frozen lady was standing up staring at me. I woke up shaking.

  A chill went down my spine as I shoved my hands into my sweatshirt. The Doctor was at the office, and Sawyer was out hanging out with Ricky since he was back in town. They were hanging out late with Justin last night, and I didn't even know if it was safe to go in Sawyer's room because he might not have been there. Despite all the terrible dreams, I never heard him come in.

  Sawyer had been so twitchy lately. I guess the college applications were getting to him more than I thought. He's real quiet. Sawyer didn't seem to eat meals with us, but half of the food seemed to be gone when I went for a snack, so he had to be eating. Maybe he was still trying to get better from that cold. The cold might have been making a comeback.

  My pages were getting darker. Brushing my hair out of my face, I turned to look out of the window. The sun was going down. I hated how early it got dark. I stood up, stretching and walked towards the light switch when I heard sounds downstairs, a bunch of loud voices echoing up to my room. Creeping down the stairs cutting through the dining room, I peeked into the kitchen.

  "Maddie!" Ricky's loud voice bellowed as he came towards me sweeping me up in a hug.

  I squeaked.

  "I just left you a couple of months ago, and you look so grown up." Ricky was grinning as he looked at me.

  "You're nuts." I laughed.

  Sawyer was pulling sodas out of the refrigerator for them. Justin was standing by the sink.

  "So, are you liking college?" I asked Ricky, wanting to go back upstairs to my room.

  I put my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie. Ricky shrugged.

  "It's not bad, it took a little time to adjust, but I'm kept busy with the work. I'm glad to see you all again, though." Ricky spoke as he put Sawyer in a headlock.

  "Hey dude, off of me," Sawyer yelled as he tried to pull Ricky's arms from him.

  "You missed me, and you know it," Ricky said as he ruffled Sawyer's hair, and I couldn't help but laugh.

  "So, Madeline, why did you pick Sawyer to take with you to the dinner instead of me?" Justin asked as he opened his soda.

  "Justin, give it a break already. It has come and gone." Sawyer groaned as he pushed Ricky away and fixed his hair that had been growing out slightly.

  Justin's eyes stayed on me as I quickly averted my eyes. I pressed my lips together and bit the inside of them.

  "Dude, it obliviously wasn't a date. Otherwise, she would have taken me her most favorite man," Ricky spoke up, ruffling my hair, making it fall out of my braid as his deep laughter filled the air.

  Sawyer and I looked at each other. He was still quiet. Our eyes met for a brief moment before he adverted quickly to his soda.

  "I just needed a friend's support," I answered meekly.

  "We are just messing with you," Ricky chuckled, yet I could feel Justin's stern eyes on me.

  "I'm going to go get the mail…"

  I quickly walked out of the kitchen, picking up my pace through the dining room. Swiftly, I put my shoes on and left—my hands deep in my sleeves and in the sweatshirt's front pouch. Walking down the driveway, I passed the mailbox as I kept going down the sidewalk. I should have grabbed my coat, and it felt like there was a rock in my stomach being in the room with those three. Not many of our neighbors were out. One of the dogs was in the backyard at the fence, yapping at me as I walked by. I was not too fond of its constant yipping, but I understood it as it was trapped outside and all it wanted to do was go inside.

  I finally reached the end of our neighborhood with the big willow tree at the corner that I've always loved, but I turned in the opposite direction making a right on Nutswamp. The sky was magnificent, with the sun going down behind the trees and clouds. Yellows, reds, purples, and navy blue all bled into each other, stretching across the whole sky. I tried to ignore all the science that made that possible and took in the beauty behind it.

  I reached the park as a chill went down my spine. Going for a walk seriously was dumb. It was so cold, I just wanted to clear my head, and all I accomplished was to send my body into shock with the cold. I just turned around and shuffled my way back, and my body tingled all over. Trembling, I just kept thinking how much I had to go to make it home. The air was seeping through my fabric of clothing. I was halfway when I heard car tires come to a screeching halt. I glanced over my shoulder to have my stomach drop; it was the Doctor. This conversation was not going to end well that I was out here without a coat. I stood still as his window rolled down.

  "Madeline, g
et your butt in this car this instant!" the Doctor barked.

  Looking both ways and I crossed the street to sit in the front seat. Dr. Vodola's car was quiet when I first got in. He doesn't listen to anything in the car. My heart raced as I could see the veins in his neck. I kept close to the car door as he started driving back down our street. I kept glancing in the corner of my eyes at him, not sure what to expect. I didn't bother speaking. We never talked, just leaving the awkward air ready for him to attack. He pulled into the driveway.

  "Get in the house before I drag you in myself." He growled through gritted teeth.

  Hastily I opened the door, and through the garage, I got back into the house. The boys were no longer in the kitchen, but I could hear them upstairs. I was still quivering from the frosty temperature outside. I could hear his footsteps not far from me. Nearly running, I rushed upstairs and into my room, closing the door behind me. My heart was speeding up, leaving me to wonder if he would come upstairs after me. I backed away from the door, feeling my chest falling and rising rapidly.

  "Madeline," his voice echoed through the house.

  I jumped into the closet and closed the door like a barrier between him and me. With each thud of his steps on the stairs, I couldn't tell the difference between them and my heartbeats. He usually didn't make a show in front of others; he probably didn't know that the guys were here, too angry to notice their cars.

  "Damnit, girl, where the hell is your brain? You can't afford to get sick. Where was your coat? Forget that I ban you from being outside until it's warm!"

  Not a single sound came from Sawyer's room.

  "You can sure as hell can forget dinner!" the Doctor shouted, and I heard him walk away.

  "Maddie…" a soft voice came from the other side; it might have been Ricky.

  I ignored the voice and closed my eyes as I tightened my grip around my legs.

  The sky had darkened, but I didn't bother to turn my lights on. Bringing the blankets closer to me, I closed my eyes, hoping the headache would go away. The chill from the windows hadn't dissipated. I just wanted to sleep. Dr. Vodola hadn't even called me for dinner, which was fine because I wasn't hungry. Looking at the clock, it was after eight. I bet most of my classmates weren't in bed at this hour during a break. My door slowly opened, and I turned to see Sawyer's shape.

  "Hey, you weren't down for dinner, so I brought you up some."

  "I'm not hungry."

  Sawyer came in and closed the door behind him. He came over and sat next to me.

  "Did you get my cold from the other day?"

  I looked up at him.

  "I hope not."

  "Let us try to get some food in you. That might help."

  I sat up, and my head continued to spin. My face scrunched, and I kept my hands on either side of my body. Changing my mind, I laid back down.

  "I can't."

  Sawyer put the plate on the top of my dresser. He angled himself and slid down beside me.

  "I feel dizzy," I answered before he asked.

  Sawyer put his hand on my forehead.

  "You're a little warm."

  I nuzzled against him.

  "I feel cold."

  His arms wrapped around me.

  "I'll have to warm you up then." Sawyer's voice was soft.

  My eyes felt heavy.

  "Can you stay until I fall asleep?"

  "Of course," Sawyer whispered.

  "Sorry for ruining your hangout with the guys."

  "You never ruin anything."

  Sawyer rubbed my back. My eyes closed, and I eventually fell asleep in his arms.

  My body ached, and I coughed. My breathing was short and sharp. I couldn't get enough air in as I was nearly gasping. I coughed again, and heat radiated throughout me. A shiver ran through me. I gasped for another breath.

  "Sawyer." I tried to cry out.

  My breath was fleeting, and I coughed again. Sawyer opened the door. His eyes were wide.

  Sawyer ran over to me and pushed the hair out of my face. My hair was wet and stuck to my face. Sawyer cursed and picked me up, cradling me to him. I gasped again. He turned sideways and ran out of the door then down the stairs. Sawyer leaned me against the wall as he grabbed his keys, and we were out the door. He laid me down in the backseat and darted to the front.

  "I need you to hang in there, Madeline. I'm going to get you to the hospital."

  Sawyer zipped out of the driveway. I heard his tires scream as he changed directions. He picked up his phone and started to call someone while he drove.

  "Dad, answer your God damn phone, will you. Madeline's sick. I'm taking her to the hospital."

  He chucked the phone to the seat beside him. As he did a rolling stop out of the neighborhood, there was a thud. The phone must have fallen off the seat. Grey dots formed over my eyes.

  "Madeline."

  I coughed, and white mucus came out. My eyes closed again. I couldn't open my mouth to speak. I just wanted to sleep and have it all the pain to disappear. Sawyer's words seemed to grow further and further away.

  9

  Sawyer

  I had parked, and it didn't take the nurses long to take Madeline away from me. Madeline had passed out at some point during the drive, and I couldn't get her to wake up no matter how loud I called out to her or shook her when I hit a red light. A nurse ordered me to stay in the waiting room, but my insides were jumping around so much I didn't think I could sit. I paced the room. After a while, a nurse told me to sit because I was making people around me nervous. I sat down in a chair, and my leg bounced. I kept checking my phone to see if my dad had called or texted me back. Leaning my head back against the wall, and my knee still bobbed. I shoved my hands into the front pocket of my sweatshirt. I'm sure I was a sight. I didn't change from this morning, so I was still in my pajamas, a sweatshirt, and slippers. I didn't care, though. I just wanted Madeline to be okay. I needed her to be okay.

  "Where is she?"

  My father's face was pale as he stormed into the waiting room. He was standing next to Dr. Green. I sat up.

  "They took her back there. I haven't heard anything yet." My voice broke up as I spoke, wavering as my eyes stung.

  My dad and Dr. Green went to the counter. The two of them showed the nurse their badges. Then they disappeared behind the doors. Getting up, I ran after them. The nurse was yelling at me to stop. My dad and Dr. Green turned towards a room. Picking up my pace, I couldn't lose them. I stopped in the doorway, and I thought my heart had stopped. Madeline was lying in a hospital bed in a gown. Tubes were sticking into her pale arms, and a monitor beeped.

  "She's having a lot of trouble breathing." The doctor in the room was talking. "We are waiting for the results, but I'd bet it's pneumonia. She has a bad case. When I listened to her lungs, I can hear the fluid."

  "I'd like to see the charts when you're done." Dr. Green spoke up. "I've been her doctor since she took her first breath."

  The hospital doctor nodded. Walking into the room, I sat in the chair next to Madeline. Bending over, I brought my hands to my mouth. My eyes were unable to look anywhere else.

  "Thank you for bringing her to the hospital." Dad's voice was behind her; it was soft.

  I couldn't speak as I just stared at her still body. Dr. Green took the charts from the doctor. The flipping of pages and the beeps from her monitors took over the room. My own heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

  "Her blood pressure isn't usually this low." Dr. Green started.

  Before he could say anything else, a nurse came in, handing the doctor an envelope. My dad stood next to the other two. They were raising X-rays into the light.

  "Just like I feared, she does have pneumonia. It's a horrible case."

  I started to wring my hands. All the muscles in my back were stiff.

  "I'm going to work alongside you if you don't mind. As I said, Madeline's a special case, and I've been her doctor." Dr. Green informed the doctor.

  "That's fine."r />
  "Does she usually have a weak immune system?" the doctor inquired.

  "No," I answered. My voice came out weak and hoarse. "Maddie has always been healthy."

  The doctor stared at me then glanced at the other two.

  "He's right. This is my son; she lives with us."

  The doctor nodded. "Okay, because looking at the blood results and everything, her immune system has been severely weakened. Her results show someone with severe immunodeficiency. She might be here a while."

  Dr. Green looked at me. "Can we go somewhere else and talk?"

  The doctor nodded his head. "Of course."

  "Sawyer can stay here and look after her." Dr. Green told me with a weak smile.

  The three left me alone in the room, closing the door behind them. Madeline was so small in that bed. Her skin seemed almost transparent with the tubs running along her arms. Standing up, I finally released a breath. I brushed some of the hair out of her face. Tubs were going through her nose. Blinking, I stared up at the ceiling and sat back down. I took her hand in mine. Her skin was so soft.

  "You have to get better soon," I whispered. "I don't think I can handle losing you."

  I brought her hand to my face and gave her knuckles a quick kiss.

  My dad and Dr. Green came back into the room a bit later. Madeline was still asleep. My dad stood across from me, leaning against the window. Lines were etched in his face as his arms crossed across his chest. Dr. Green was still glancing through her charts.

  "She's going to be okay right?" I finally asked.

  Dr. Green sighed. "Hopefully, I'm still baffled on why her immune system seemed to have crashed."

  "You think the side effects are finally coming about?" my dad questioned.

  "Side effects?" I asked, glancing at the both of them.

  "She'd been so healthy, who knows. We had a couple of clones before Madeline, but they didn't form or didn't survive. Madeline was the first surviving one. Even some of the ones after her didn't make it."