In Love With a Master
Page 20
“Maybe we don’t change in the way women want. But we do change. Life changes us. We become more mellow, we become less ambitious. The bravest of us become cautious… and the loneliest of us, Leticia… the loneliest of us become scared.”
Leticia made a soft sound like a stifled whimper.
“I was wrong,” I said again. “I realize that now. I learned something today… something that I hadn’t understood until I felt the desolate pain of losing you.”
“What?” Leticia’s voice became small and soft. “What did you learn?”
I took a deep breath. I felt the scald of tears at the corners of my eyes, and my vision became misty. There was a lump in my throat – a choke of emotion – and my heart was racing so that it felt it might burst through my chest.
“I love you,” I said.
Chapter 27.
I sat at the kitchen table in the grim gloom of dawn.
Daybreak had come, concealed by an ominous sky of heavy leaden cloud so that the whole world seemed hunched and cowering before a storm that was about the break.
I drifted out through the kitchen, into the foyer, and then towards the back of the house. I paused in the doorway of the room that Dr. De Niro had left empty. Dull grey light through the window cast the furniture into gloomy clusters of shape. The room was unchanged: the bed remained in place, the chest of drawers, the filing cabinets were all still there, but for all that it was an empty abandoned space. I lingered in the doorway, my eyes moving across the furnishings, each one touching a dark recollection. It was a room made sad by my memories.
I pulled the door quietly closed and left the house.
I drove to the clinic. Dr. De Niro was waiting for me. The friendly smile on his face disappeared as I drew him to me and we spoke earnestly for several minutes before a nurse arrived and led me away to be prepared for surgery.
I lay on the hospital gurney staring up at a white ceiling as I was being wheeled through double doors into a room that had the air of a small intimate theatre. A middle-aged man’s face appeared before me. He was smiling. He had vivid blue eyes and a wide brow. His voice was calm and level.
“Just relax, Mr. Noble,” the surgeon said.
With one last breath, I examined my conscience.
I had no regrets.
No regrets at all.
I felt the press of an oxygen mask cover my face and then the distant sound of a voice counting backwards from ten. The voice became softer – became the voice of an angel as I drifted into darkness…
Jonah Noble dies in Surgery
By Leticia Fall, ‘Examiner’ staff journalist
Celebrated entrepreneur, Jonah Noble, has died while undergoing delicate brain surgery.
Mr. Noble’s death was caused by ‘unforeseen complications’ according to a brief statement released by the private medical clinic where Mr. Noble was operated on late yesterday. It is understood that Mr. Noble died during the delicate process to remove a brain tumor.
In recent months, Mr. Noble became well known for his insights into sexuality. In a series of articles published through the ‘Examiner’, Mr. Noble explained the BDSM lifestyle, and also revealed his own thoughts on ways that men and women could connect more closely on a sexual level. The articles elevated Mr. Noble to national awareness, and in some areas, cult status. He was applauded by women nation-wide for his ‘common-sense’ approach to relationship problems.
The ‘Examiner’ began publishing a new series of Jonah Noble articles yesterday, which have been syndicated to other publications around the country, and worldwide.
Mr. Noble was a wealthy businessman. It is understood that his estate has been willed to his personal staff.
The clinic declined to comment further on the death of Mr. Noble, but his personal doctor issued a brief statement outside the clinic, speaking to the assembled media for just a few brief moments.
‘Mr. Noble passed away on the operating table,’ the doctor confirmed. ‘According to the chief surgeon at the clinic, there were complications during the procedure that were unexpected. Despite making every possible effort, the surgical team were unable to revive Mr. Noble.’
A memorial service will be held for Mr. Noble at a local cemetery in the coming week. It is the same cemetery where, just recently, Mr. Noble’s closest friend was also buried. Thousands of people from around the country are expected to gather to mourn the passing of the man whose words of common sense and fascinating sexual insight ultimately have become a catch-cry for thousands.
‘Anticipation… is everything.’
Jonah Noble – dead at thirty-four.
Epilogue.
That’s Jonah’s story.
A love story.
As I sit here at my newspaper desk and write these words, my world has been changed by a man I will never forget, and the love for him I will always carry in my heart.
It’s cold outside. Winter rain is falling and the world seems grey and dull. I wonder sometimes if I will ever feel warm again.
I cry a lot. I can’t help it. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel whole or complete again… but I have the memory of his words, and I know in my heart that for one precious moment – Jonah Noble knew love.
He loved me.
Leticia Fall, 2014.