by Bailey James
“Yes,” I say breathlessly. He nods breathless himself both chasing our release.
“Harder, baby… Yes, like that… Oh fuck, Becks, yes, I fucking love you,” says Logan shouting.
“I love you too,” I say in a whisper cumming hard over him.
We hold each other for a while and sit in the car.
“Becks, where were you going anyway?”
“I’m just popping home to get some clothes, and I need to speak to Ed because she sent him the video of me and Landen fucking.” Logan thinks for a bit as I get off him and straighten my clothes. “Driving also calms me down because I was a bit of a mess back there.”
“I need to call Landen, he'll be worrying, then I’ll sort Ed while you have a shower and change, we’ll sort it, Becks, try not to worry.”
“I really need to keep this job,” I say to him.
“Don’t worry, it will be fine.”
He seems confident, but I’m not so sure, if I lose my job now, it will be a disaster, I might even lose my parents’ game because of it.
I drive to my house, and Logan puts Landen on speaker phone.
“Hey, I found her, she's okay, we've just gone in the car to hers, and we need to speak to Ed. Carrie sent him a video, and then will be back later, okay.”
“Becks,” says Landen he sounds emotional.
"I'm okay," I say.
"You sure? Don't believe anything she says, Becks, it's all rubbish. I’m sure the only thing that comes out of that girl’s mouth is bullshit. The girls, mmmh, sorted her out. I don't think she'll be back for a while... I think we may have to start a girl’s rugby team from what I saw today," Landen says laughing.
“Really?” I smile.
“I’ll fill you in on all the details when you get back, but I’m glad you’re okay, we’ll talk soon,” says Landen.
I park my car in front of my house. Logan nor Landen have ever been here before, I wonder what he thinks?
"Nice house, Becks,” says Logan looking around.
“Nothing special compared to yours,” I say.
I have a quick shower while Logan gets on the phone to Ed.
As I’m getting dressed, Logan steps into my bedroom. “Becks, it’s all sorted, Ed hasn’t even opened the email yet.”
“What? So, he just deleted them on your say so?”
“Yes, nothing will come of it, Becks,” says Logan.
“But what if she sends it to head office or management or something?” I say still worrying.
“Ed’s going to sort it, okay?”
“How are you so confident about this?”
“I just am, nothing will happen, you’re just going to have to trust me on this one.”
I huff.
“Becks, it’s Landen’s butt on the line as well. I would never risk anything for you, but it’s Landen reputation too. It's sorted, I promise, please trust me… Okay, now let me see that neck," says Logan, he kisses down it. “I'm sorry this happened, Becks, but I'm glad you smacked her one back.”
"Did you see?" I say.
“From a distance, we were running, but you had dragged her away by the time we got there. We walked into Carrie on the floor, and the women giving her a shit storm.” He smiles.
We jump back in the car and begin driving back to the twins’ house. “Landen’s going to be annoyed with me when we get back, just so you know,” says Logan.
“Why?”
“I’m going to have to speak to Landen alone, and tell him I told you I love you. Because we were meant to hold off and do it together, he had big plans to make it all romantic with a big grand gesture and fuck you slow and lovingly.”
I laugh. “What?!”
“Landen has it in his head that you want a slow loving fuck when we tell you we love you, he thinks that fucking you hard and fast isn’t loving, and we need to be more attentive now.”
“What?”
Logan laughs. “I know I’ve tried to tell him.”
“I love you both, but I love you most when you're giving me hot, fast, dirty sex. What is he on about?”
“I don’t know, he’s got something in his head. How he thinks it should be.”
“How do you think it should be?”
“I think when the moments right, the moments right, like before. Not staged and planned and all that.”
“I agree, maybe he wants a bit of romance, shall we lay petals up the stairs for him.” I laugh.
Logan laughs. “He would probably like that.”
“So, does he then? Love me, I mean?”
Logan nods. “Oh yes.”
Landen Johnson
April
I’m pacing the hallway waiting for Becks and Logan to arrive, but my house is full of people. After the incident with Carrie, I decided everyone should come back to ours and party into the night. It seemed a good idea at the time, to keep my mind off worrying about Becks. But now I’m anxious and want everyone out. I also feel guilty because I momentarily did believe Logan had fucked her and she was having his baby. What an idiot, how many times is this woman going to fuck me over? You would think I learnt my lesson, but apparently not, I need to trust Logan. I do trust Logan.
We have both fallen hard into this thing with Becks, and we both never wanted it. Resisted it as much as we could, but somehow, she has gently pulled us in, never pushing for more just being with us, having fun and lots of good fucking sex. We both finally admitted it to ourselves and each other recently that we love her, we are in love with her. I’m still wary of that, I’m still worried. I mean, wasn’t it like this with Carrie at the beginning. Everything was all rose tinted with her then, two years later, and look where that ended up.
I trust Becks and I love her. But there is still a doubt, still a worry gnawing at me. Is she going to deceive us? Is she going to get between us? Will she decide she wants only one of us? Fuck, can three ways even work full time? But then I remember it’s Becks, and I have no reason to doubt her. I know I’m feeling extra nervous because we have decided to tell her we love her. She might not even feel the same.
I remember how Carrie flipped out on both of us because we told her we loved her over a take out. Apparently, it’s meant to be a big grand gesture, and we had truly fucked up. Apparently, it’s meant to be a big affair with a showering of gifts and spoiling her rotten. Then to make love to her one at a time slowly. Her words have stuck with me, and I really don’t want to fuck up with Becks. I have a plan, to cook a candlelit meal at home, filling the house with flowers. Then I am planning to get her some expensive jewellery, and tell her we love her together.
I guess we could take her out, but Carrie always hated going out with the three of us. I didn’t want to push it in case it spoilt the evening if she felt uncomfortable. Carrie used to like that slow and sensual sex. I feel bad that we’ve never really done that with Becks. Fuck, it took us long enough to do it in a bed. Carrie would have never fucked anywhere other than a bed. The thought of that made me chuckle. With that thought, I hear the gravel and know they have turned up. The party is still going full swing at our house, and I’m not going to announce their arrival because I want to get to her first. Logan has said Becks is okay, but I need to see for myself.
I open the front door, and go straight to her, hugging her as she gets out of her car. She squeezes me tight, saying my name into my ear which immediately wakes up my cock.
I pull back and look at her. “You okay?” I scan her face and spot her neck. She has red marks all over her, and her neck looks sore. I hate that bitch for doing that to her. I am going to make sure I kiss every inch of her later. My cock jumps at that thought.
Logan walks around. “I’m afraid we have a house full, sorry.” As I say that Becks’ name gets chanted, and Tally comes out to pull her into the house.
I look at Logan. “We need to talk,” he says, and it looks serious. We go into the office and lock the door. “Carrie sent Ed video of you two fucking, I managed to get to him before he even opene
d it, and he willingly deleted it.”
“That’s lucky,” I say.
“But she might still send it to head office, which could be more problematic,” says Logan.
“Get our insider onto it,” I say, knowing he’ll sort it for us.
“That’s what I thought, I’m so glad we kept him on, Landen,” says Logan.
“I’ll call him now, just in case, he should be able to divert it before it lands in their systems.”
“Another thing, Landen, I didn’t touch Carrie, you know that, right.”
“I know, I know,” I say.
“Also, I mmh, I let slip I loved Becks whilst we were fucking, sorry, Landen.”
“What? Shit, bet that went down like a lead balloon, did she freak at you?”
He laughs. “No, she said it back.”
“Well that’s a relief, we still should do the big old romantic gesture though. Or do you think she just wants you,” I say feeling worried.
“Landen, stop being paranoid, she isn’t Carrie, she loves us both, I don’t think we need the big romantic gesture, but if you insist, I don’t see what harm it could do,” Logan says.
I nod, he’s right, she isn’t Carrie, but I still think a big romantic gesture is called for. We head back out and enjoy the party. Everyone slowly leaves, and eventually I have to chuck Cooper and Hunter out because I am desperate to get naked with Becks.
Logan and I were naked in the bedroom before she’d even walked across to the bed.
She turns around and laughs. "Whoa, that was quick.”
"We want you!" I say walking towards her. My cock’s hard and ready to go, and she’s still fully clothed. She begins to unbutton her top while looking at Logan and me. I take over for her, and she strokes her hand down my chest. I pull her top off and unbutton her trousers. I notice she has cuts everywhere. I cup her face kissing her as I pull her in close and push her trousers down. Logan has gone behind her and begins kissing her shoulders.
“You okay, baby?” I say gently.
“I'm fine, but we really need to lose the psycho ex.” Becks laughs.
“She’ll realise her little stunt didn’t work,” Logan says.
“Let’s hope so. Now fuck me, Landen,” Becks says.
Becks Winter
May
It has been weeks since I told Logan I loved him, I haven’t dared to say it again, because I’m not sure how they feel. I know Logan had told me that Landen wanted to show me in some big large gesture. So, I have held back. He hasn’t said it since, even when we were alone. But that large gesture hasn’t happened, and now I’m worried that Logan had said it in an emotional moment and he regrets it. Or Landen had been annoyed that he’d said it. Logan said Landen would be angry with him, but I’m not brave enough to even attempt to bring that up. I mean, I’m not meant to have a man until September, not less fall in love with two. It made me hold on to my questions, things I guess I normally would ask. I am desperately trying to hold everything off until my birthday, which is getting harder and harder each passing week and month. So, I guess I’ll wait patiently and see what happens. I’m of the opinion that you say you love someone in the moment and not make a song and dance about it, that seems fake and for show rather than heartfelt. But I guess I can’t knock Landen for wanting to be romantic. I just wasn’t used to grand gestures.
Because we were on the cusp of taking our relationship, or whatever you want to call it, to the next step, I feel like I’m on the edge waiting to see what would happen. With my parents’ tasks in the back of my mind more and more recently. I’m more concerned than ever that something or someone is going to balls it up for me. I know the conditions of my trust are easy, but I know they can just as easily be whipped away if I don’t turn up for a meeting or if I tell people or lose my job. Again, this is all maybe money. Because, to be honest, there probably isn’t any money, or if there is, I know for sure it won’t be much. I’m hoping a few thousand if I’m lucky, and I keep my house. That’s my biggest worry, my house. I just wish they had just given it to me when they died. I hate this jumping through hoops business.
I finish my shift, and it’s another late night. I am exhausted and look forward to crashing on my bed at home. I got a text asking if I’m coming over from the twins. But I know I have an early shift tomorrow and after having a sex-filled week and many hours at work. I am done in and need to chill without them just this once. I have also had a surprise voicemail from Sophia, which I somehow missed earlier. When I replayed it, she’s in tears? I then realise the date and why. Tomorrow would be her one-year anniversary of her so called wedding. Shit, I’m such a bad friend, I had completely forgotten. I haven’t hung out with her for a while either. The twins have taken over my thoughts, and I am suddenly guilt ridden. I decide to make a quick phone call to Ed hoping he’s still awake, to see if there is any way I could take a half day tomorrow. He says he’ll take a look at the shifts and get back to me.
The twins have tried to persuade me over to theirs, but I know I’ll get there and crash. There wouldn’t be a lot of fucking happening tonight. So, I refuse, much to their disappointment. They have to understand, right, I am working a full-time job, and in a relationship with twins which consists of a lot of fucking. I need a night or two to myself sometimes. I can’t remember the last time I slept at home in my own bed. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I cleaned my house or cooked there. It’s probably covered with a layer of dust. Not that it would be done tonight, I’m certainly not up for that. Maybe I’ll have to take the weekend off from seeing them just to catch up. I’m certainly in deep with those two, and it’s worryingly consuming me to the point of not doing anything else.
I get home and on seeing the state of my house decide I definitely need to spend some time here. I take a shower and crawl into my cold bed. Ed texts me to say that a half day is fine. I text Sophia to see what she’s up to tomorrow. Then I send a text to the twins to let them know I’m not going to see them for a few days. I place my phone on the side and close my eyes, as soon as I do it rings. I pick my mobile up, happy that it’s Landen.
“Hello.”
“What’s going on, Becks?” he sounds defensive and not happy. I sit up in bed.
“Hey, nothing, what makes you say that?”
“Well you blew us off tonight, and you don’t want to see us for a few days, we wonder what’s going on.”
“Nothing, I’m just tired, and my house is a mess because I haven’t been…”
He cuts me off, “Where are you, Becks?”
“I’m at home in bed, why?”
“Okay, are you sure you’re not lying to us?”
“What, no, why are you being funny with me?”
“Well, you don’t want to see us, so we presumed something’s going on, Becks.”
“I just haven’t been home in a long time, and I need to clean it. Also, I’m seeing Sophia tomorrow because it’s…”
He cuts me off again, “You’re going out drinking then?”
“Probably.”
“So, we won’t see you even though we have plans.”
“Do we? I don’t remember us having plans.” I rack my brain but don’t recall any one saying anything about having plans.
“You always come to ours on a Friday and Saturday night, Becks. Now you’re saying you aren’t, so I presume something is wrong.”
I sigh. Really, what is this about?
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know we had plans and before you two, I often went out with Sophia at the weekend. I haven’t seen her for ages either, Landen.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault that you haven’t seen Sophia?”
I groan inwardly, seriously I am too tired for this, we are going around in circles. Why’s he being so possessive, I don’t understand?
“No, that’s not what I said, Landen. Is Logan with you?”
“Yes, he’s here.”
“Okay, say goodnight to him for me, I’m going to bed, I have a headache, and I’m
exhausted. I’ll speak to you in the morning,” I say trying to fake happiness because we were going around in circles. My head’s banging, and I just want to go to sleep.
“Fine,” he says, and then the phone goes dead.
I look at my mobile wondering what the fuck just went down. My stomach churns with nervousness. Tears drop from my eyes. I don’t know where all that just came from or why that happened, but it doesn’t feel good. My mobile rings again, but I ignore it, switch it off and cry into my pillow. Instead of falling deeply in love with the twins, it feels like after Logan said he loves me, we have gone into reverse like that is the end point. Now we were going in the other direction. Everything is unravelling before my eyes, and I can’t make sense of it. Why aren’t I allowed to spend time with my friends? Is it because I said no tonight? What’s going on?
I quickly fall asleep. I’m exhausted from driving and need to shut down.
Landen Johnson
May
I have a day off, and I’m trying to prepare everything for Saturday night, Logan's at work, and I really am wishing he was here to help. He has been absolutely no help what so ever doing this. It’s frustrating the hell out of me.
The doorbell rings, and I let the man come in delivering box after box of flowers. Maybe I have gone slightly overboard, I wonder. I say thanks and bye and then am looking at the flowers not having a clue where to start.
“HEELLOO,” I turn around as Carrie walks in, I left the door open, and she has no hesitation of just walking in like she owns the place. In Carrie’s world, she probably thinks she does.
“Landen, darling.” Kiss kiss. “Look, I was hoping to catch you… Ooh, look at all these, wow, Landen, you have outdone yourself with all these flowers, they are beautiful.” She begins to search through them all. “Oh, Landen, you even have my favourites, aren’t these beautiful?” She holds up some lilies. I had forgot Lilies were Carrie’s favourite. I guess Becks won’t know.
“Can I help?” She looks at me excitedly. “I think you might need a woman’s touch, don’t you? I don’t mind, I have come here to apologise anyhow, this can be my apology helping you sort these.”