by Bailey James
“Carrie, they’re for Becks,” I say, I don’t want her getting any other ideas. Why is she even here?
She bristles slightly but then regains her composure.
“What’s the big occasion, Landen? You, buying flowers by the truckload must be something big,” Carrie says looking at me. She seems more excited than angry. Which is a welcome change? I don’t think I should tell her I am going to declare my love for Becks. Don’t really need the drama. Just in case.
“Just want to spoil her, you know.” Trying to make it no big deal, I can’t be dealing with her screams this morning, I already have a headache brewing. Probably from the smell of the flowers.
Carrie giggles. “Landen, I think Becks being Becks, one bunch would be spoiling her, no offence. But this is in another league, you have outdone yourself, Landen,” she says smiling and happy.
I nod. “Thanks, why are you here Carrie?” I say as lightly as I could.
“I just wanted to come see how you are and apologise for the other day. I don’t know what came over me. I think I’m still in love with… I… well, I don’t know, anyway, looks like you and Becks are getting serious?”
I simply nod, I am certainly not giving her any information.
“Oh yes, and Daddy said to give you these, he is very grateful for the help you have already given him.”
She hands me some paper files, I nod again.
“You sure about this girl, Landen?” Carrie questions after a pause.
I really don’t want to get into talking about Becks with her. I still can’t stand this bitch. But I have to play nice because of Carrie’s wild tantrums and who her father is. I take a deep breath.
“I am, Carrie, now is there anything else? Because I have lots to do.”
“How well do you know this girl really? Something about her seems off to me. I can’t put my finger on it, she has a very nice car, for a poor girl.”
“Mmh,” I say walking towards the door.
“Have you run a background check?” she says following me.
“No,” I say, starting to feel my anger rise.
“Well, I’ve been stalking her, and she doesn’t seem to have anything, other than a nice car. That’s weird don’t you think?” Carrie says stopping and touching my chest. I step backwards.
“No, she loves her car, I know she saved up hard for that car.”
“Just be careful with her, I don’t trust her, I reckon she’s lying about stuff,” huffs Carrie.
“Stuff, what stuff? Just because you don’t like her, Carrie, doesn’t mean she’s like you and would deceive us, or drug us,” I say feeling fucking angry now.
She gets a look on her face. “Landen, I have never done anything of the sort, how can you say that?” she says looking appalled at the mere thought of it.
Yeah right, I know her game, she never did admit to it either.
“You realise she’s not going to take you both on, don’t you. I hope you and Logan have come to understand how freakish that is. How perverted and weird that is to want one woman with your brother. No doubt, it’s probably illegal or something. Incest and all that.”
“Shut up, Carrie,” I say.
“Pretty close to it, Landen. I think you both might be a bit sick in the head, you know. Have you ever got help for your obsession?”
I ignore her and gesture her out the door. I can feel my anger, and she really needs to get away from me. She walks out and turns to me.
“Just be careful, yes, I’m honestly trying to be a good friend and look out for you, I don’t trust her.” Her mobile pings, and she looks at it. “I have to go, I have a nail appointment,” she says looking at her nails disgusted with what she sees.
I do think Carrie has a personality disorder, the way she can be insulting and rude and then switch in the next moment to kind and sweet. I don’t fall for it for a minute, not anymore. Watching Carrie drive off confirms to me once again that I have no feelings towards her what so ever. I can’t even see what we ever saw in her now. But I’m glad she isn’t making life hard and wants to be friends. I don’t think we will ever be friends again, keeping her as far away as possible is the best answer, but doing it in a way she doesn’t realise.
My thoughts turn to Saturday, I want this to be a big night, a loving, romantic evening. When we will shower Becks with gifts and affection. I worry over what Carrie said, however. Is she right? Are Logan and I freaks for wanting this? I question if we are rushing into this again? Is it too soon? Is Becks really who we think she is? Does she really want both of us? Now that Carrie has placed the thoughts inside me it’s hard to shift it, and I’m an anxious mess by the time Logan returns.
“Fucking hell, what did you do? Rob a florist?” Logan says walking into the kitchen.
“Might have overdone it a little,” I say wriggling my nose up, the smell of flowers is overwhelming.
“Do you reckon? Fucking hell, Landen, she’s going to think we're proposing with all this shit. How much did it cost? Did you get someone to arrange it to?” he says looking around. Before I could speak he groans. “Fuck, Landen, why did you get lilies? I can’t fucking stand them.”
“I know, I had forgotten they were Carrie’s favourite, I only remembered when she told me earlier.”
“Carrie was here?” Logan says looking at me surprised.
I nod. “She popped in with some papers from her father and to apologise.”
“What is she up to? After everything she has done and is still doing. She is still making out she is pregnant with my baby?”
“Shit, yes, I had forgot that bit,” I say. I truly had forgot, but she never said anything. “Well maybe, she’ll let it go now,” I say hopeful.
“Do you reckon, or cling on tighter, Landen?”
“She seemed happy when I told her the flowers were for Becks,” I say.
“Landen, of course, she is happy that you are going after Becks, she only wants one of us, remember. Who do you think she’s going to try and get her claws into now?” Logan says annoyed.
“No, do you think?” I say.
With that, Logan’s mobile goes off, he turns it around, so I can see Carrie’s name flashing on the screen. Okay, maybe he’s right. It had always been Logan she was officially dating in public, we just used to switch places, she was always embarrassed by us, and her father would never have excepted her dating us both. Maybe she does think if I’m all over Becks that she has another chance with Logan. This sets my anxiety off again.
“Logan, I don’t want to do this alone, it’s the three of us, isn’t it?” I know what his reply will be before he even answers, but I just need to hear him say it.
“Landen, I want Becks too, I love her, you know that. We will do what we have always talked about doing, always dreamed about in this house, together.” He pats me on the back, and I nod grateful that we are still on the same path. “What’s the matter?” he asks.
I shake my head, “Nothing, I’m just letting paranoia get to me I guess. Carrie was questioning how well we know Becks, if we can trust her, she’s convinced she’s just after our money.”
“Landen, don’t let Carrie, of all people, get to you, you know her mind games,” Logan says walking off.
I nod, I did know. I guess Carrie is just picking at my insecurities.
Both our mobiles ping and we have a group text from Becks to let us know she isn’t coming over tonight as she’s tired and grumpy. I try to convince her otherwise but get nowhere. Carrie’s words are in my head.
“You think Becks is up to something?” I immediately say to Logan.
“What?” he says shaking his head.
“You think she’s lying? She’s never stood us up before,”
Logan looks worried. Then shrugs. “She’s tired, Landen. Maybe she just needs some space,” he says, but looks worried himself.
“If she cancels tomorrow then we’ll worry,” I say knowing I will be worrying all night now anyway, but I am trying not to show it.
> An hour later we get another text telling us she’s decided to spend the weekend at home and with Sophia. Immediately my brain starts screaming, and I begin to text her back but then decide to ring her. I’m in panic mode, my brain is telling me she’s deceiving us again like Carrie, she’s telling lies, she’s going to stab us in the back like all women do. I’m shaking with hurt, and I can’t seem to get it under control. Logan walks in as I put the phone down.
“What’s going on?” Logan says.
“Becks just called off this weekend, how can she do this?” I say angry and hurt.
“What! Why?” says Logan.
“Says she is seeing Sophia.”
Logan blows out a breath.
“I might of went off on one… Logan, we shouldn’t have gone there. We should have kept to the rules, why did we break them? It’s happening again I can feel it.”
He rubs his face. “Look, I don’t know? Let’s just sleep on it, I can’t think straight at the moment.”
At 4am I’m still worked up, anxious and worrying. I can’t sleep. At 4.30am I wake up Logan. Who doesn’t seem to be having the same problem?
“I’m going to see her, I need to have it out,” I say sitting on his bed.
“What, Landen, just let it settle, we will talk to her,” says Logan with his eyes shut.
“No, I need to see her now, seriously, I’m going now,” I say walking off, I grab my keys and step out into the crisp morning air.
“Wait,” I hear from behind me as Logan staggers after me half dressed. “I’ll come with you, just wait,” he says.
I smile to myself, I’m so glad I have Logan.
I knock on Becks door, and I’m so worked up with anxiety that I’m shaking. I remind myself I need to stay calm. Not show her what she means to me, or she’ll hurt me again.
Becks Winter
I wake with a shock to banging, I sit up and can’t quite place where the sound is coming from, then I realise it’s my door. I look at the time to see it’s 5am, who the fuck is knocking on my door at 5am? I stagger up to get it and note I look like an ogre in the mirror. I unlock the door smoothing my hair down, wiping the spit off my chin. Bleary-eyed I see the twins standing on my doorstep. What the fuck?
I open the door to gesture them in and run off to use the toilet and to wake myself up. I walk back, and they were both in the kitchen making themselves at home with the kettle. Landen comes towards me, “Sorry, Becks, you look tired.”
I nod and bite back a sarcastic remark, you reckon.
“Becks, Landen has some apologising to do,” says Logan.
Landen looks nervous. “I do, I’m really sorry, Becks, I didn’t mean to take it out on you, it’s just Carrie has been in my ear, and I was feeling paranoid, and then you said you didn’t want to see me, and I began to panic.”
I nod, still half asleep. “You’ve seen Carrie again?” I say, having my own paranoid outbreak.
“Yes, she popped to the house, wanting to apologise to us.”
“Oh,” I simply say. Feeling a bit upset with them, they’re getting paranoid about me. While they're entertaining their ex, Carrie, and he’s the one been jealous. I wonder if he’s jealous because he knew he’d been fucking her. I wonder if she’d popped round, I wonder if she popped into his mouth, and oops, his cocks out and he’s popped into her pussy. I get handed a cup of tea by Logan, and he strokes my cheek.
“You do look tired, baby.”
I sigh. “So why are you here?” Waking me up from a restless night not sleeping thinking about you two. I am secretly pleased to see them, but I’m not going to show that. This feels like they were checking up on me.
“I just needed to see you, baby, I just needed to touch you,” Landen says, still looking anxious.
Checking to see if I’m where I told him I was, I wonder. “Checking up on me, making sure I wasn’t having some wild orgy without you, hey,” I say jokingly, but it is far from humorous.
I am tired, grumpy and Landen is paranoid. Probably because Carrie has been saying things about me. What is this? Either way, he’s ignored my request and came around anyway, that pisses me off. Because I do believe he’s checking up on me, he doesn’t trust me.
“Maybe a little,” Landen says sheepishly, “I am just desperate to see you, and I’m panicking that there’s another reason why you don’t what to see us this weekend.”
“Like I said, and you can see my house is a mess because I spend all my time at yours or work. I also haven’t seen Sophia for a while and need to catch up. I don’t think I need more wild orgies, you two give me plenty. Now, I feel like you don’t trust me. How about I put the tracker on my phone, and then you can see where I am every minute of every day!”
“That’s a great idea,” says Landen,
Logan winces, noticing my face. Landen seems oblivious to my mood tonight.
“I’m being sarcastic, Landen!” I say, arms folded.
“Oh really, oh, that would really help though,” he says hopeful. “So, you’re not coming around this weekend.”
I shake my head.
“You coming to the pub, Becks,” says Logan.
“No, I have a half day, and I’m going out with Sophia tomorrow.”
“We need to leave Landen,” says Logan studying me carefully.
“Now, why do we?” Landen looks at me, and I nod.
“When will we see you, Becks,” says Landen.
“When you can trust me,” I say walking to the front door.
“I do trust you, I do,” says Landen.
“No, you don’t,” I say.
Landen walks out, Logan grabs my hand as he passes.
“Ignore him, Carrie’s been winding him up.”
“About time he cut his ties then, isn’t it,” I say seriously.
Logan strokes my face. “He has, she’s just not getting the message.” He gives me a quick peck on the cheek.
I close the door and sit on the sofa, wondering what the fuck is going on…
Landen Johnson
“Well that went well,” says Logan jumping in the car, pulling a face.
I groan knowing I’m fucking everything up, but I just couldn’t help it, I pull out of her street and stop around the corner. We sit in silence for a long while.
“She’s right, Logan, I don’t trust her. I just feel like she’s going to do what Carrie did, hurt us all over again.”
Logan sighs. “Landen, you're being rather possessive, and I think you need to give her the benefit of the doubt, what has she ever done since we have known her to warrant what you just said? I thought you had a death wish when you agreed to the tracker, you fucking freak,” he chuckles.
“Aren’t you worried, Logan?”
He shrugs, fuck, he’s so laid back I could kick him sometimes.
“Landen, I am not letting her slip through our fingers because of a what if, or a maybe. Maybe she is having doubts because I told her I love her, and I have been waiting for you to get your shit together to tell her too. Perhaps she is feeling a bit insecure about us. Come on, Landen, give her a break, there are two of us which she has taken on without so much as a whimper, and maybe we have run into an obstacle right now. But I think it is because we can’t carry on how it is. This is way past fucking, and we all know it. We need to take the next step, Landen. We need to remind ourselves that she isn’t Carrie, but she is also human, and like you and me, we make mistakes. She needs some space right now, Landen. But I don’t think it’s anything bad, just give her time to miss us. We also need to tell her that we fucking love her. The only regret you will have, Landen, is if she walks out the door and doesn’t come back.”
I bow my head suddenly feeling exhausted and knowing it’s all my own doing. I might have blown things all out of portion. I do love her but telling her is taking it to the next level, so I have been delaying it, making the excuse of wanting to make it big. Which I do, I believe that’s what she would like. But then she cancels on us.
“I h
ave it all planned, and she cancels on us,” I say.
“Landen, she didn’t know, did either of us ask her if she had plans, or if we were going to see her? Maybe we have been getting a bit comfortable in thinking she’d always see us, Friday and Saturday nights, but she hasn’t seen her friend in ages because of us, Landen.”
I growl and hit the steering wheel. “Why do you have to be so fucking reasonable, Logan? It annoys the shit out of me.”
He laughs. “What would make you feel better, Landen, how can I help?”
With this, a car goes past, and I realise we’d been sitting here an hour and its Becks going to work. I start the engine and follow behind.
“What are you doing?” Logan says looking confused.
“I’m making myself feel better, Logan, by making sure she isn’t lying.”
“What! You’re following her? She’s only going to work.”
I know, but that will help relieve my worry if she does what she’s meant to do.”
He shakes his head. “You’re seriously fucked in the head, you know that,” he says with a grin which I know means he’s going along with the plan. “If she catches us!”
Three hours later we’re following her small truck driving at a fair pace, we have kept back so she can’t see us. We aren’t in our usual car, so she shouldn’t notice it anyhow. We have a few cars to choose from, and this one never really goes out. I considered calling our driver Gavin to follow her, but I don’t think he’d feel comfortable with it. Becks only has a few deliveries today, because she’s only doing a half day like she had told us. I’m feeling better by the minute as she has done everything she said she was going to. When we get back to the yard. We drive straight past, and I leave her to it. I only wonder what I am going to do with all the fucking flowers?
Becks Winter
I finish work and feel exhausted, but I’m on edge and worrying, and I know I won’t settle until I’ve seen the twins. I need to get this sorted, I need to know what this is really about. Is it time to call it quits, did they really want that much control over me that I’m not even able to see friends without a fight? No way am I heading down that path, as much as I love them both. Why, if they are feeling so possessive over me, can’t they tell me they love me.