by Fiona Miers
“He has much more knowledge of the happenings inside Ferngrove Manor than anyone, and I trust him. He is no liar.”
Lizzie knew this to be true. Edward was a valued employee, and a gentleman in the true sense of the word.
Lizzie leaned forward. “Tell me exactly what he told you.”
“He overheard Carson speaking to Adrienne, telling her that he had broken the engagement and he never wished to see Violet again. Adrienne was livid, but Carson didn’t care. Apparently, he was tired of her controlling the direction in which his life should go, and he even told her to stay out of his affairs or he would have her sent to Aberystwyth.”
Lizzie fell back in her chair. Could it really be?
“Aberystwyth?” Emma asked with a furrowed brow.
Lizzie nodded. “His mother is there.”
Will glanced at her in disbelief and stuttered a reply, “How on earth do you know that?”
“I know everything about Carson and his family. He is my best friend, after all,” Lizzie shrugged nonchalantly.
“Wait a moment. Is Carson aware of you knowing? Will asked.
Lizzie shook her head. “No, of course not. Don’t be daft, brother. He wouldn’t speak to me again if he knew.”
“Why is that, dear sister?” Will asked with a smug grin.
“Ah… I didn’t precisely find out the information by Carson telling me himself,” Lizzie answered with a cringe.
Will’s mouth dropped open, then he got to his feet once again. “I cannot believe you, Lizzie! You were going through his father’s things?”
“Again, don’t be daft,” Lizzie muttered and rolled her eyes. “Carson asked me to assist him in sorting through the items in his father’s study after he passed away. I came across a box with letters addressed to the late Mr. Wallace, Carson’s father. They were from his mother.”
“What did they say?” Emma asked, her eyes sparkling with intrigue.
Lizzie sat up a little straighter, her stomach tugging at discomfort at revealing the intimate knowledge. But since Will had already obtained some of the facts, she had to assume she could trust her family with the information.
“Carson’s mother was the daughter of the late King of Wales. She left Somerset after her father had been taken ill as he had left the title of Princess of Wales to her if she wanted it. Carson’s father was upset and gave her an ultimatum, to choose between him or her old family. But she left anyway. She had to fulfill her family legacy. The letters were to Carson’s father, informing him that she would be staying in Aberystwyth permanently and she wished for Carson, Adrienne and Mr. Wallace to join her, but his father refused. He didn’t wish to uproot his children.”
“His mother is a Welsh princess?” Emma gasped with wide eyes. “Is he aware?”
“I doubt it. I didn’t utter a word. I removed the box from the study and buried it in our garden, near the hole in the wall,” Lizzie answered, though she still wondered today if she’d done the right thing.
“What does that make him?” Emma asked, her eyes wide.
“A duke, or a prince, I am not too sure. He has never been given a formal title, as his father didn’t possess a title,” Will explained.
“An influential businessman who married a princess and hid the knowledge from his children in order to protect them,” Emma summarised. “It sounds as if it belongs between the pages of a novel in the library.”
“Indeed, but it is his life.”
“Perhaps I ought to speak to him,” Lizzie suggested.
“And say what? Are you aware you are the son of a Welsh Princess?” Emma muttered.
“Not with regards to that, Emma. Regarding the engagement he ended,” Lizzie pointed out.
“Perhaps that is not a good plan, Lizzie,” Will warned.
“I will not gloat that I was right about Miss Violet and that he should have listened to me. It is not my intention to shame him. I merely wish to know whether he is fine.”
Will and Emma glanced at one another and sighed.
“Sister, you must remember that Carson is now in a powerful place in his life. He stood up for himself against his sister and his entire family for that matter. He decided what was best, and perhaps he decided that it was time to let go of his past feelings,” Will said.
“What do you mean, his past feelings?” Lizzie asked.
“Perhaps it is time you told her, my love,” Emma suggested to Will.
“Tell me what?” Lizzie insisted and glanced at Will. “What is going on?”
Will drew in a slow breath and gazed at Lizzie. “Carson has been in love with you for many years.”
Lizzie’s brow rose and she felt her heart break free from its cage. The metal bars sprung open and her voice came out in a high-pitched squeak. “He told you that?”
How could her brother have withheld the information for so long?
“He didn’t admit it, but he didn’t deny it either. It was clear in the way he gazed upon you when you weren’t aware of it. He simply didn’t possess the courage to make his feelings for you known. He didn’t consider himself worthy of you, as you are the daughter of a duke and he was a simple man without a title,” Will explained.
“But it doesn’t matter to me if he was born with or without a title, wealth or any of those superficial and material things. He has always been enough for me, perfect the way he is. And that hasn’t changed,” Lizzie breathed, her pulse fluttering in her throat. “I cannot believe I have been so blind.”
“He did have the ability to hide it very well,” Will stated. “But I have known him for as long as you have, and he spoke of you constantly.”
Lizzie’s eyes filled with tears and a smile formed on her lips. She stood from the chair and drew in a breath. “Perhaps it is time for me to finally be honest with Carson, and myself.”
Lizzie rushed to the wall in their garden as thick clouds formed overhead but smiled happily as she climbed through the hole. Not even the dark skies or an impending storm could deter her from her mission.
The vines and ivy had been entirely cleared, which made it easier to climb through. So, she made her way across the lawn and stepped onto the cobblestone path. Her heart pounded in her chest, but there was a peaceful feeling inside her as well.
She finally had the courage to tell Carson that she had loved him for such a long time, and those feelings had become truly uncontrollable and undeniable. She repeated the words in her head, as she had done for years, attempting to find the perfect moment to say them to Carson.
She stopped suddenly, realising that there was no such thing as a perfect moment to do something. She had wasted so many years waiting for the perfect moment that she had almost lost Carson entirely.
A bolt of lightning illuminated the skies momentarily as she quietly opened the door and stepped inside Ferngrove Manor. All was quiet and she decided that even if Carson was not there, she would certainly wait for him.
As she was halfway down the hallway, she heard noises coming from the study and she hastily walked down the hallway. As she reached the door of the study, loosening her shawl, feeling rather anxious, she stopped abruptly as she saw Miss Adrienne standing beside the bookshelves. Her heart sank into her shoes, but she kept her composure.
“Miss Adrienne,” Lizzie greeted.
“Lizzie,” Miss Adrienne answered stiffly. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to speak with Carson. Is he here?”
“No, he is not. And I suggest that you leave before he returns,” Miss Adrienne answered with a malicious tone.
“Why is that?” Lizzie asked as she placed her shawl over the backrest of Carson’s favourite leather chair.
She wasn’t leaving just because Adrienne told her to.
“He does not wish to see you, or have you visit the estate ever again. You have ruined his life more than once and neither he nor I will allow you to do it again,” Miss Adrienne spat at her.
Lizzie narrowed her eyes at the older woman. “What do you mean? I hav
e never ruined his life. I only wish the best for him.”
“So you say, my lady,” Miss Adrienne uttered and stepped away from the bookshelves. “I have seen my brother heartbroken over you too many times, seeing you being courted by other men, throwing it in his face. The affair with Lord Dorset was the final nail in the coffin for him. He tried to remain stoic and keep to himself, but you insisted upon seeing him, calling upon him for assistance. Using him as you saw fit, only to benefit yourself. Even when he was betrothed to Miss Violet, you sought out a way to alienate their relationship, knowing that you had the power to influence him without his knowledge.”
“No, that was not my intention,” Lizzie defended and placed her hand against her chest. “I care very much for your brother, Miss Adrienne, and I would never intentionally hurt him, or cause him any pain.”
“If you truly cared for him, you would leave him be. He deserves better,” Miss Adrienne stated firmly.
A tear ran down Lizzie’s cheek and she lowered her gaze. She turned away but Adrienne hadn’t finished.
“You are ruining him, Lizzie and any chance of him finding happiness. You have him in a stranglehold. And you do it so eloquently that he does not even realise it. He will do anything to please you, to ensure your safety and happiness, even if it is at the risk of his own.”
“I didn’t realise that was what I was doing,” Lizzie answered sadly as she turned back around, another tear running down her cheek.
“Love can make us do foolish and selfish things, my lady,” Miss Adrienne muttered and slowly approached her. “But it is sometimes necessary for us to rectify those mistakes, even if it means letting that person go.”
Lizzie pursed her lips and nodded slowly. “Would you please tell Carson that I am deeply sorry?”
“I will do that,” Miss Adrienne nodded simply.
Lizzie turned away and rushed back down the hallway, to the door she had entered the manor through. She opened the door and gasped as the rain poured heavily outside.
She didn’t care. She needed to get away from the horrible words and the guilt that now clawed at her. Was she really the woman that Adrienne painted? Had she poisoned Carson’s love for her and used it to hold him prisoner?
She rushed outside and the rain drenched her instantly, soaking her dress and making the cold material cling to her skin. Her tears mixed with the rain and as she staggered through the garden, she didn’t know where her tears ended, and the rain began.
16
The rain poured heavily, rattling the window of the library where Carson stood quietly. There had been significant progress with the renovations, but they were not yet done. However, the fresh smell of new wood was delightful. He looked forward to seeing the completed product and knew that his father would be proud of him for restoring it to the best of his ability.
His thoughts journeyed to his mother, who was now in Aberystwyth, and he wondered how she was. Was she happy? Had she remarried, and had a family?
Carson also wondered whether she thought of him and Adrienne at all. He had considered writing her a lengthy and emotional letter, explaining how he had not been aware of the situation, and that he didn’t despise her for abandoning them. He’d been told the wrong story.
He had tried writing that very letter, but he had not found the words to start. How would he address her? Mother? Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Wales? Or had she become Queen?
Carson was perplexed and filled with confusion.
As the rain quieted down, he heard voices down the hallway, but he couldn’t distinguish who they belonged to. After he heard footsteps in the hallway, and a door slam loudly, he made his way towards his study, where he knew Adrienne was attempting to make space for the books that belonged in the library but had been placed inside the study in the meanwhile.
Adrienne seemed distracted, and a strange expression was present on her face.
“Adrienne, is everything all right?” Carson inquired.
She seemed taken by surprise with his sudden entrance, but she nodded and crossed her arms. “Everything is perfectly fine.”
“Did you have a visitor?”
“It was no one important.”
“You are rather pale, sister. Are you certain everything is well?” Carson narrowed his eyes as he slowly approached his sister. “Who was here?”
“As I mentioned, it was no one important,” Adrienne shrugged and turned away.
Something was clearly the matter with Miss Adrienne, but Carson could not put his finger on it. There was most definitely something amiss.
A familiar scent filled his nose and he glanced down. Draped over the backrest he noticed the shawl. He recognized the soft fabric with the lace trim immediately and reached his hand out to touch it. “Where did this come from?”
Adrienne glanced at him over her shoulder but shrugged. “Perhaps it was one of the maidservants who left it here.”
“I do not appreciate your lies, Adrienne.”
“What lies have I told you now, Carson?” Adrienne sighed.
“This is not one of the maidservants’ shawls. They do not own anything of the sort,” Carson stated.
“Do our maids not have the same sense of style as we do? That is rather insulting of you,” Adrienne muttered.
“This belongs to Lizzie,” Carson said and held up the shawl.
“Does it?”
“Why is it here?”
“I do not know, Carson. Perhaps she left it here when she was here the last time.”
“She was here earlier, was she not?” Carson asked and pointed his finger at Miss Adrienne. “Do not dare lie to me.”
Adrienne sighed and nodded. “She was.”
“Why did you not inform me she was here?” Carson demanded to know.
“I didn’t wish to disturb you.”
“Stop lying to me, Adrienne!” he yelled, frustration tearing at him now. His sister obviously hadn’t learned anything from their previous conversations.
“You know exactly why I didn’t wish for her to speak with you. She will manipulate you as she has done your entire friendship,” Adrienne stated and crossed her arms. “I will not allow her to influence you any longer.”
“How on earth did she manipulate me? You have tried to make me feel guilty for not doing what Father would approve of. Then you have the audacity to throw Mother’s situation before me and convince me that marrying Miss Violet was the best thing for me and the family. But it was all nonsense. You are the only manipulative person here. Not Lizzie. She has spent our entire friendship wanting me to be happy. She protected me, she consoled me, and she was there for me when I needed someone. She didn’t expect anything in return and that is why, according to you, I keep defending her. Lizzie made me feel that I belonged in this world. She never treated me as though I was a simple man with no title, or whose family was not of high nobility as hers was. Titles mattered not to Lizzie, and they never will.”
“How can you be so certain? Those tales circulating of her—”
Carson held up his hand. “That is precisely the same nonsense as those tales that had circulated about Mother after she left. I swear to no longer believe a single word coming from anyone’s mouths any longer. Only those I trust. Not even you, Adrienne.”
“But I am your sister,” she declared, both hands going to her hips.
Carson shook his head. “That is immaterial. Being blood does not excuse you from repeatedly lying to me and deceiving me.”
“But I told you about Mother and—”
“You manipulated me. That is the point, Adrienne. You broke my trust the moment you lied to me. You knew how devastated I was after Mother left. I was convinced that it was because of me that she had made that choice. That I was not the son she’d wished for. I blamed myself for a long while. One afternoon, Lizzie and I sat in the garden and she clearly saw that something was wrong. I told her what was weighing on my heart and she told me that people will come and go in a person’s life, but it is
their prerogative if they leave. It has nothing to do with the people whom they leave behind, and that I should not allow it to affect me. I was not the person at fault. She was right. She has always been right,” Carson explained. “When the tales started with regards to Lizzie and Lord Dorset, I didn’t believe them, as I knew she was not that kind of woman. She has too much self-respect to allow a man such as Lord Dorset to defile her.”
Adrienne narrowed her eyes at him. “You do not honestly believe that she is still pure and untouched, Carson?”
I do.
“The only thing that matters to me is that her heart is pure and her mind untouched. I am not pure and untouched, and neither are you, sister dear. But you would not think of yourself as a whore, or me as a rake, would you?”
“No, but—”
“Exactly, sister. You judge people before you even allow yourself to know them, or know their circumstances. You have never truly liked Lizzie. Why is that?” Carson asked.
Adrienne hesitated for a moment and drew in a breath.
“Tell me now,” Carson demanded.
“Mother truly adored her, and she had told me this many times while she watched you and Lizzie together. She believed that you two would marry, to which she willingly gave her blessing. She even said that she would make a fine princess one day if that were to happen. I hated that she considered Lizzie important enough to be named as a princess and didn’t once refer to me as being worthy. She considered some other girl more important than her own daughter,” Adrienne answered bitterly. “From that day, I despised Lizzie, and I’ve done everything in my power to prevent Mother’s wish from coming true.”
Carson’s stomach dropped and part of his heart broke at the same time. All this time he had thought his sister knew best. Had his best interests at heart. How wrong could a single person be?
“You are a vile and despicable woman,” Carson hissed. “Mother was certainly right. You do not deserve the title of princess.”
Adrienne’s eyes filled with tears and she lowered her gaze. “I am sorry, Carson.”
“I don’t believe you, and I don’t wish to hear your apologies, Adrienne. You made me lose the one person who meant the absolute world to me. The one person whom I would do anything for.”