Cowboy Summer

by Joanne Kennedy

Next thing she knew, they were lying there naked in the shadow of the climbing rosebush that draped the window. She could smell the fading flowers as they nodded on the breeze. They smelled of memory and sorrow, overlaid with a melancholy sweetness. Somehow, the thorny bush pulled all that from the dry Wyoming soil, season after season.

  “I’ve always wondered how you kept those roses alive,” Jess murmured. “Didn’t your mother plant them?”

  Too late, she realized she’d invited a ghost into the room, but Cade didn’t seem to mind.

  “My dad took care of it. Pruned it every spring, watered it through every summer.”

  “That doesn’t sound like him.”

  “I know. It almost made me think he loved her.”

  “He must have. It’s just sad that he couldn’t show it. Sad they didn’t have what we have.”

  His expression softened. “What do we have?”

  “Love.” She smiled and brushed his hair back from his face. “I love you, Cade.”

  He looked into her eyes, and he didn’t have to say a word. She knew. She’d always known. He was steady and solid, and she never should have doubted him.

  She reached for the nightstand drawer and drew out a foil packet. Once he was sheathed, they dove down and down again, rolling together in the waves. There was no uncertainty now, no questions or doubts. Every touch flowed into the next, telling them how to move, where to touch, how to buoy each other up.

  They’d danced to this wild, sweet tune a hundred times before, yet every step was new again. They were older now and wiser. The years apart had made them strangers in some ways, but that only skimmed a sweet layer of excitement over the comforting familiarity they’d always shared, like jam spread on a homemade biscuit.

  She opened to him, and he filled her. Clutching the sheets while he rocked above her, her body was bowed by the stress of holding in her joy. Did she dare to let go? Cade might leave, walk away, leave her holding a broken heart. It would be fair and right, after how she’d treated him.

  But whatever happened, she was his, and he needed to know. Looking in his eyes, she felt her heart fly true as an arrow, straight to the soul of the man she loved.

  Cade made a sound, animal and uncontrolled, as the two of them met and merged. Jess cried, literally cried in his arms. All around them, the walls turned gold in the morning light, and the breezes gentled and died.

  Spent, he tucked his chin into the soft curve of her neck. The sound of the creek outside filled her ears, along with the birds’ morning chatter. She felt the water flowing in her veins as if she was part of the earth and the earth was a part of her.

  She’d never felt so whole, so complete, and knew she’d never forget this day, no matter how it ended. It would always be a precious gem, glowing in her memory as the day she became her true self: the woman who loved Cade Walker.

  The one who’d never leave him.

  The love they’d shared all their lives, starved for so long, came back to life and set her heart aflame, refining it with a healing fire. The world felt young again, full of possibilities, glowing with the light of a new day as all her doubts and uncertainties drowned in the rippling waters of Willow Creek.

  Chapter 54

  Cade didn’t think he’d ever felt so relaxed. Familiar sounds drifted through the window—the last harrumphs of the night-singing bullfrogs, the shushing sound of a breeze stroking his mother’s roses, the trilling of bluebirds singing up the sun. Beneath it all, keeping time, there was his breath and Jess’s, slowing together, slipping into the rhythms of their shared world. Being with her felt new every time, as if his old, dull self rose from a stupor, gilded by love.

  This wasn’t goodbye. He’d made up his mind, and she’d have to do the same. Whatever plans she had would have to be changed, and if she was mad at him for some trumped-up reason, she’d just have to get over it. The two of them belonged together, wherever in the world they decided to go. California, Denver, Hawaii—they’d carry home with them.

  He knew it was a gamble. Despite the magic of their coupling, she might never forgive him for the past. Marrying Amber Lynn had driven a wedge between them, and nothing would ever be the same. But that didn’t mean it had to be worse. Having lost each other, they should learn to value what they had more highly, hold each other tighter. He hoped so.

  Oh God, he hoped so hard.

  Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he let his worries stream away like water flowing down his back. He knew what love was. He knew its challenges, knew how heartbreak could hurt, but he also knew this woman was worth every jerk and pinch of his poor battered heart.

  Nothing mattered but the soft swell of her breasts under his calloused hands, her tender need against his wild, pent-up desperation. They’d made love in the past few weeks, but that second chance love had been torn apart so fast, he’d almost lost the feel of it. This time, he’d held tight to every taste, every glance, every touch. The way she took the tip of her tongue between her teeth when she closed her eyes and smiled. The way the sun set her curls alight with gold. The way her body warmed and opened to let him in.

  He vowed to think less of tomorrow or the next day and just work on today. They’d talk, they’d touch, and maybe they’d somehow sort things out.

  “Wait.” She broke the silence and stilled his thoughts. “Hold on.”

  He opened his eyes, his heart pounding. Forever could slip from his grip like a snake, intent on its own journey and impossible to grasp. They’d found lasting love once before, hadn’t they? And it had slid away, dying on the rocks of Jess’s ambition and his own stupidity.

  He must have looked as scared as he felt, because Jess laughed. “Don’t worry.” She twisted so her right hip lifted, dumping him unceremoniously on the mattress. With one palm on his chest, she pushed him back down on the bed, then tossed a leg over him with the ease of a lifelong horsewoman. As she knelt above him and placed herself just so, his doubts died, and his body came to life. Again.

  Rising above him, she rocked, flexing her hips. The bedsprings, squealing in rhythmic protest, were lost in the harsh duet of their ragged breathing.

  She sure wasn’t in a hurry. She played with him, a wicked grin on her face, and just when he thought he’d explode if she didn’t go faster, harder, she gave a little hint of what he wanted. Then she gave him more, and then more, until they were lost in a new rhythm, hard and fast and needy. This wasn’t giving, this was taking, taking what they needed, but as long as they were both greedy for it, it was incredibly, wildly right.

  She arched above him, gold skin glowing, a goddess flushed with victory as she tightened around him. Her cry pierced his heart, and he felt himself climb, climb, fly, and then let go, tumbling from the sky.

  She collapsed over him, and he rolled them over, partly to let her rest but mostly so he could bury his face in her shoulder while a crazy urge to weep passed by. He was a man. He never cried, but he was happy, so damn crazy happy.

  Brushing her curls back from her forehead, he kissed her temples, one side and the other. He thanked her, not in words but with a look.

  She took his gratitude and smiled, and he felt golden in her gaze and right with the world for the first time in years.

  * * *

  “So,” Cade said. “Is this a goodbye? Like last time?”

  Jess smiled up at him, arms stretched high above her head, curls spread across his pillow. “No, it’s nothing like last time. For one thing, I found the right person in the bed.”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t mean that time. Let’s forget that ever happened. I’m talking about that Christmas Eve.”

  “It sure felt like Christmas.” She ran one finger down the side of his neck, across his shoulder, and down his arm. Who knew biceps were an erogenous zone? “It felt like Santa came and gave me everything I wanted.”

  She was giving him that smile a
gain, with her tongue between her teeth. He kissed her nose and gave her a cockeyed scowl. “Seriously, though.”

  “It’s not goodbye unless you want it to be.” She tilted her chin up, and her eyes seemed to glow with love and light. “It could be bon voyage, see you later, or it could be hello.”

  He didn’t dare take anything for granted. “What kind of hello?”

  “That’s up to you.” She lowered her lashes. “I was hoping for the kind of hello where we never have to say goodbye again. At least not for long.”

  Love scrambled his brain. Could she really mean what he thought she did?

  He’d promised himself he’d take it slow, follow her lead, protect his heart. But if there was the slightest chance they could build a life together, he’d dive in headfirst. If he hit bottom, it wouldn’t matter, because if he lost her again, there’d be nothing left of him.

  She cocked her head, still smiling. “Of course, you’re going to California, so…”

  He answered quickly, without thinking. “Not if this is hello I’m not.”

  “No, Cade, you need to go.” She ran her hand down the side of his face, a tender gesture that warmed him to his toes. “You’ll learn so much. It’s the chance of a lifetime.”

  “But what’ll you do?”

  She sat up, and he could see the excitement in her eyes. “Well, I’ve been in the running for a promotion to Hawaii.”

  He swallowed hard. Hawaii was a long way away—even if he moved to California.

  “Well, there’s one other candidate for the job, and he runs the Birchwood Suites in Malibu.”

  He sat up, too, catching her mood. “That’s not far from Baker’s place.”

  “I think it’s about a half hour drive. So if Ted—that’s the guy who’s up against me for the Hawaii job—if he gets it, I could take over his hotel. My boss would probably be pretty happy with that solution.”

  “But what about the Diamond Jack?”

  “I think I figured that out, too.” Excited, she was gesturing with her hands. “Dad needs to thin the stock. Whoever ends up running the ranch probably won’t want Highlanders, and it’s the right time of year to sell them. Then he and Molly could take a cruise. I was thinking about booking one for them, as a present. Help my dad get used to relaxing a little.”

  “That’s a good idea, but what about the horses?”

  “Riley could stay at the house while she’s working on the porch. She’d still work for Ed, of course, but she’d have a home of her own for a little while.” She smiled. “Riley’s always full of advice for me, but I think she needs to make some changes. She can’t live with Ed forever. It’s like she’s married to that store.”

  Cade nodded. “Does she know anything about livestock?”

  “You know Riley. What she doesn’t know, she can learn. So what do you think?”

  “I think it’s good, short-term. But when do the Swammetts take over?”

  “Oh yeah. So much has happened. You don’t know, do you?”

  “Know what?”

  She grinned. “Sale’s off.”

  “Off?” He felt like a new sun had risen, shining for them alone. “That’s great news.”

  “I’ll work for Birchwood as long as you’re in California, and once you’re done, I’ll give my notice.” She looked down at her hands, twisting in her lap. “Then maybe you’d want to come back here and run it. With me. As partners or whatever.”

  “Not partners,” he said. “Whatever.”

  Slipping out from under the sheets, he slid to the floor and knelt beside the bed. Her eyes widened, and he wondered if he was making a fool of himself.

  But hey, of course he was. He’d prepared for this moment in his mind a hundred times, and he still couldn’t do it right, because dammit, he’d forgotten something. Rising, he crossed the room to his dresser, forgetting he was naked until he felt her eyes following him, tracing his every move.

  It didn’t matter. Naked was good, because he had nothing to hide. Besides, she was naked, too, and he wanted her to stay that way.

  Rummaging in the top drawer, he found what he was looking for, palmed it, and returned to kneel again.

  “Jessica Jane Bailey.”

  Her eyes widened. “This sounds serious.”

  “It is serious.” He took her hand, looked into her eyes, and felt his brain go blank. “Shoot. I had a speech.”

  “You did?”

  Swallowing hard, he nodded, wondering what had happened to his brain. It had been a really good speech, one he’d worked on for years, and it was gone—just gone.

  He looked in her eyes and did his best to dig down under his emotions and find the words he’d cobbled together so carefully over the years, but there were no words, just love, so that would have to do. It was plain, honest, cowboy love, and it wouldn’t dress up in a fine vocabulary or turn itself into poetry. He’d have to hand it over as it was, with no rules or reservations.

  “Well, what did this speech say?” Jess asked. “Roughly, I mean.”

  “It said I love you. It said it a lot of different ways. When we were six, it said you were my best friend. When we were twelve, it said I finally noticed you were a girl, and I was a boy, and maybe we could go to a movie sometime.”

  “I remember that day. It was a Star Wars movie.”

  “That’s right.”

  He was surprised she remembered. Usually, he was the romantic one, the one who remembered anniversaries and special events. Jess tended to forget that kind of thing. Big emotions overwhelmed her, maybe even scared her. That had something to do with her mother leaving, but he was no psychologist, and it didn’t matter where it came from—it just mattered that he understood, that he knew he needed to take care of her heart so well, she’d come to trust someday.

  “When we were sixteen, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.” He ignored the pain of the hardwood floor against his bare knee. “But I never said it. I just assumed we’d be together.”

  “I messed that up. I shouldn’t have left.”

  “You had to. You needed more people around, more excitement. Hospitality work suits you, and you might miss it if you give it up. So coming back isn’t something written in stone, okay? When I leave Baker, we’ll decide what works. If you want to keep going with your career, I’ll sell the ranch and go with you. Hawaii, whatever.”

  Her eyes widened with shock. “You’d do that for me?”

  “Sure. I can train horses anywhere,” he said. “There’s only one thing I won’t do for you, and that’s let you go. Our life can be whatever you want, but it’ll be us, always, together.”

  She smiled. “Is that a promise or a threat?”

  “It’s both.” He uncurled his fist to reveal a ring with a small diamond nested in a filigree setting. Fumbling with his big, work-hardened fingers, he lifted it from his palm. “But mostly, it’s a promise.” He took a deep breath. “Jess Bailey, I’m asking you to marry me. No matter what happens, I want my life to be with you. No matter what you want out of life, I’ll do my best to see you get it.”

  He took her hand. She let him. He figured that was a good sign and found a better one when he slipped the ring onto her finger and caught her smile.

  * * *

  Jess bit her lower lip, looking down at the ring. It was lovely, small but ornate, and she knew it meant a lot to him. It had belonged to his grandmother, who had died when he was young. He’d loved the fierce old woman, who’d been his one defender while she lived. Though Jess had been half afraid of her, it meant a lot to have her ring.

  She looked up to find him still kneeling there, still naked.

  “This is a very nontraditional proposal,” she said.

  “Not really,” he said. “I knelt. And I had a ring.”

  “But you’re naked.”

  “I gues
s that might be nontraditional. But then, our marriage will be nontraditional, too.”

  “So we’re going to be naked all the time?”

  He grinned. “I hope so. But seriously, what I mean is that you’re not some rancher’s wife. You’re my wife, a rancher, a hotelier, an executive—whatever you want to be, okay? Whatever pie-in-the-sky notion you come up with, I’ll make it happen. And I’ll be there, right beside you.” He turned her hand in his, admiring the ring. “So that’s settled. All that’s left is my apology.”

  “What apology?”

  “Amber Lynn called me last night. Told me she was the one who put the fish sticks in the well and did all that other stuff.” He sighed. “You were right all along.”

  “No, I wasn’t.” Jess grinned. “And Amber Lynn didn’t do it, either. I kind of made her say that.”

  “What did you do, threaten to ruin her life?”

  Jess smiled. “I think she was worried I’d ruin yours.”

  Cade looked confused. “So who was it?”

  “Molly.”

  “Molly?”

  She laughed. “Turns out she didn’t want to let go. She says she was desperate, knowing how much Dad loves the place, plus she’s started to love it herself.” Jess flushed. “I guess she really wants you to marry me and help Dad run the place.”

  “Maybe that’s what we’ll do, but it has to be what you want, okay?” He paused, making sure she met his eyes. “You don’t have to decide now, but you need to know this isn’t about the Diamond Jack. It’s about you and me. All I need is you, and anyway, I’ve got this.” His broad gesture included his house and the stables, the acreage he still owned, the round ring and the horses. “It’s not much, but all this will be yours.”

  “Ours.” She patted the bed, and he stretched out beside her. Turning, she tucked herself against him, drawing his arms around her waist and holding them tight. He pulled her close, breathing in the sleepy, sexy scent of her.

  “You know I was thinking?” She sounded as if she’d slip off into sleep any moment. “Maybe it’s crazy, but I thought maybe the Diamond Jack could be a dude ranch someday. There’s plenty of room.” Her drowsiness seemed to fade as she talked. “We could fix up the bunkhouse and host families. Teach kids to ride. Hold clinics, too, for folks with problem horses. Heck would be the host. All the men would love him. And Molly could teach the kids, maybe. Or run the poker games.” She sighed. “I guess that’s crazy, huh? Pie-in-the-sky.” She laughed. “You’d probably rather have one of Molly’s pies.”