The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared

by Jonas Jonasson

  ‘Great,’ said Amanda. ‘Then we’ll use one third of our capital for my election campaign, one third for bribes for the heads of the election districts, one third for muddying the reputation of the main opponent, and then we’ll keep one third to live on if things don’t work out. What do you think?’

  Herbert scratched his nose and didn’t think anything at all. But he did tell Allan about Amanda’s plans and Allan sighed at the thought that somebody who couldn’t distinguish between banana liquor and vodka now believed she could become governor. But so what, they had started off with a bundle of dollars from Mao Tse-tung, and there was more than enough left of Allan’s half. So he promised Herbert and Amanda that he would give them some more after the election. But after that he didn’t want to hear of any more projects concerning things that Herbert and Amanda didn’t understand.

  Herbert thanked him for the offer. Allan was a very kind man, that much was clear.

  However, Allan’s help was not needed. The governor’s election was a complete success for Amanda. She won with more than eighty per cent of the votes, and her opponent got twenty-two per cent. The opponent thought that the total of more than one hundred per cent indicated the election wasn’t fair, but the court soon dismissed his complaint and threatened him with serious consequences if he continued to defame the governor-elect, Mrs Einstein. Just before the court announcement, Amanda had happened to meet the court’s chairman for a cup of tea.

  While Amanda Einstein slowly but surely took over the island, and her husband Herbert taught people to drive (without sitting behind the wheel himself more than absolutely necessary), Allan sat in his lounge chair beside the sea with a suitable drink in his hand. Since Amanda had given up waitressing, he now (most of the time) got served exactly what he asked for.

  Apart from sitting where he sat and drinking what he drank, Allan thumbed through the international newspapers he had ordered, ate when he got hungry, and had a nap in his room when his head felt too fuzzy.

  Days became weeks, weeks became months, months became years – and Allan never tired of being on holiday. And after fifteen years he still had a lot of dollars left. That was partly because there had been a pile of dollars to start with, but also because Amanda and Herbert Einstein had for some time owned the hotel he was staying in, and they immediately made Allan the only non-paying guest.

  Allan was now sixty-three years old and still didn’t move around more than necessary, while Amanda went from strength to strength in her political career. She was popular with the masses, as could be seen from the regular opinion polls carried out by the local Statistics Institute owned and run by one of her sisters. Besides, Bali was ranked by the human rights organisations as the least corrupt region in the country. That, in turn, was because Amanda had bribed the entire investigating committee.

  Nevertheless, the campaign against corruption was one of the three things that characterized Amanda’s work as governor. She even introduced anti-corruption lessons in all of Bali’s schools. One headmaster in Denpasar had first protested – in his opinion the whole thing could have the opposite effect. But then Amanda made him chairman of the school board instead, with twice as big a salary, and that took care of him.

  The second thing was Amanda’s struggle against communism. Before the election she had organized the banning of the local communist party, which was on the way to becoming too big for her own good. This helped her get through the election with a much smaller budget than she would otherwise have needed.

  The third thing that contributed to Amanda’s success was Herbert and Allan. Through them, she discovered that it was by no means 30°C all year round in large parts of the rest of the world. In what they called Europe it was particularly chilly, and most of all in the far north where Allan came from. So she stimulated the development of tourism by granting building permission for luxury hotels on land she had just bought herself.

  Otherwise, she looked after her nearest and dearest as best she could. Father, mother, sisters, uncles, aunts and cousins soon all had central and lucrative positions in Balinese society. This led to Amanda being re-elected as governor no less than twice. The second time, the number of votes and voters even tallied.

  Over the years, Amanda had also given birth to two sons: first Allan Einstein (Herbert had Allan to thank for almost everything), followed by Mao Einstein (in honour of that useful pile of dollars).

  But one day everything fell apart. It started when Gunung Agung, the 3,000 metre high volcano erupted. The immediate consequence for Allan, seventy kilometres away, was that the smoke blocked the sun. For others, it was worse. Thousands of people died, and even more had to flee from the island. Bali’s hitherto popular governor didn’t make any decisions worth the name. She didn’t even realise she had a number of decisions to make.

  The volcano gradually calmed down, but the island was still erupting politically and economically – just like the rest of the country. In Jakarta, Suharto took over after Sukarno, and the new leader was certainly not going to be soft on various political deviations like his predecessor. Above all, Suharto had been hunting down communists, presumed communists, suspected communists, possible communists, highly unlikely communists, and the odd innocent person. Soon, somewhere between 200,000 and 300,000 people had died; the figures were uncertain, because a lot of ethnic Chinese had simply been branded as communists and shipped out of Indonesia, and they had to disembark in China where they were treated as capitalists.

  When the smoke had cleared, not a single one of Indonesia’s 200 million inhabitants still professed communist ideas (to be on the safe side, it had been declared a crime). Mission was accomplished for Suharto, who now invited the USA and others in the West to share the nation’s riches. This in turn got the wheels of the economy turning, people fared better, and best of all Suharto himself soon became almost unbelievably rich. Not bad for a soldier who started his military career smuggling sugar.

  Amanda Einstein no longer thought it was fun being governor. As many as 80,000 Balinese had lost their lives to the Jakarta government’s efforts to make them think correctly.

  Amidst the mess, Herbert retired and Amanda was considering doing the same even though she wasn’t yet fifty. The family owned land and hotels after all, and that pile of dollars that had made the family’s prosperity possible had now been transformed into a lot more dollars. It would be just as well to retire, but what should she do instead?

  ‘What about becoming Indonesia’s ambassador in Paris?’ Suharto asked her straight off after first having introduced himself on the phone.

  Suharto had noticed Amanda Einstein’s work on Bali and her resolute decision to ban the local communists. Besides, he wanted a balance between the sexes when it came to top jobs in the embassies (the balance would be 24 — 1 if Amanda took the job).

  ‘Paris?’ Amanda Einstein answered. ‘Where’s that?’

  At first, Allan thought that the 1963 volcanic eruption was an act of providence telling him it was time to move on. But when the sun popped out again from behind the disappearing volcanic smoke, most things returned to what they had been like before (except, for some reason, there seemed to be a civil war in the streets). So Allan remained in his beach chair for a few more years.

  And it was thanks to Herbert that he did eventually pack up and move on. One day, Herbert announced that he and Amanda were going to move to Paris and if Allan wanted to come with them then his friend would arrange a false Indonesian passport instead of the false (and out-of-date) British one that Allan had last used. Besides, the ambassador-to-be would see to it that Allan had a job at the embassy, not so much so that Allan would have to work but because the French could be a bit difficult about whom they let into the country.

  Allan accepted the offer. He had had plenty of rest. Besides, Paris sounded like a calm and stable corner of the world, without the riots that had recently raged in Bali, even around Allan’s hotel.

  They would leave in two weeks. Amanda star
ted her job at the embassy on 1st May.

  It was 1968.

  Chapter 21

  Thursday, 26th May 2005

  Per-Gunnar Gerdin was still sleeping when Chief Inspector Göran Aronsson turned in to Bellringer Farm and to his amazement discovered Allan Emmanuel Karlsson sitting in a hammock on the large wooden veranda.

  Benny, The Beauty and Buster were busy carrying water to Sonya’s new stable in the barn. Julius had let his beard grow and had been given the group’s permission to go with Bosse to Falköping to buy supplies. Allan had fallen asleep in the hammock and didn’t wake up until the chief inspector made his presence known.

  ‘Allan Karlsson, I presume?’ said Chief Inspector Aronsson.

  Allan opened his eyes and said that he presumed the same thing. But he, on the other hand, had no idea who was addressing him. Would the stranger be kind enough to shed some light on that?

  The chief inspector would. He said that his name was Aronsson and that he was a chief inspector in the police force, that he had been looking for Mr Karlsson for a while and that Mr Karlsson was under arrest on suspicion of having killed people. Mr Karlsson’s friends, Mr Jonsson and Mr Ljungberg and Mrs Björklund, were, for that matter, also under arrest. Perhaps Mr Karlsson could tell him where they were?

  Allan was in no hurry to answer. He said that he needed to collect his thoughts, he had only just woken up after all, and he hoped the chief inspector understood. You didn’t just talk about your friends without having thought things over carefully. Surely the chief inspector agreed?

  The chief inspector said that it was not up to him to give advice, but Mr Karlsson should hurry up and tell him what he knew. But, in fact, the chief inspector was not in a hurry.

  Allan found that reassuring and he asked the chief inspector to sit down on the hammock, so that he could get some coffee from the kitchen.

  ‘Would you like sugar in your coffee, Inspector? Milk?’

  Chief Inspector Aronsson was not one to let arrested delinquents just walk off any old way, not even to an adjacent kitchen. But there was something calming about this particular specimen. Besides, from the hammock the chief inspector would have a good view of the kitchen. So Aronsson thanked Allan for his offer.

  ‘Milk, please. No sugar,’ he said and made himself comfortable on the hammock.

  The newly arrested Allan busied himself in the kitchen (‘A Danish pastry too, perhaps?’) while Chief Inspector Aronsson sat on the veranda and watched him. Aronsson found it hard to understand how he could have been so clumsy in his approach. He had, of course, seen a solitary old man on the veranda beside the farmhouse and thought that it might have been Bosse Ljungberg’s father, and that he would certainly be able to lead Aronsson to the son and that at the next stage the son would confirm that none of the wanted persons were in the vicinity, and that the entire journey to Västergötland had been for nothing.

  But when Aronsson had come sufficiently close to the veranda, it turned out that the old man in the hammock was Allan Karlsson himself. Aronsson had acted in a calm and professional manner, if you could call it ‘professional’ to let a suspected triple-murderer go off to the kitchen to brew some coffee, but now he was sitting there and feeling like an amateur. Allan Karlsson, one hundred years old, didn’t look dangerous, but what would Aronsson do if the three other suspects also turned up, possibly in the company of Bosse Ljungberg who for that matter ought to be arrested too for harbouring a criminal?

  ‘Was it milk but no sugar?’ Allan called out from the kitchen. ‘At my age, you forget so easily.’

  Aronsson repeated his request for milk in his coffee, and then pulled out his telephone to phone for reinforcements from his colleagues in Falköping. He would need two cars, to be on the safe side.

  But the telephone rang before he could make his own call. It was Prosecutor Ranelid – and he had some sensational news.

  Chapter 22

  Wednesday, 25th May–Thursday, 26th May 2005

  The Egyptian sailor who had offered the smelly remains of Bengt ‘Bolt’ Bylund to the fish in the Red Sea had finally reached Djibouti for three days of leave.

  In his back pocket he had Bolt’s wallet with 800 Swedish crowns. The seaman had no idea what that could be worth, but he had his hopes, and now he was looking for somewhere to change money.

  The capital city in Djibouti is, rather unimaginatively, called the same as the country itself, and is a young and lively place. Lively because Djibouti is strategically placed on the Horn of Africa, right next to where the Red Sea joins the ocean, and young because the people who live in Djibouti don’t live very long. Reaching your fiftieth birthday is something of an exception.

  The Egyptian sailor stopped at the city’s fish market, perhaps intending to eat something deep-fried before continuing his search for a place to change money. Right next to him stood a sweaty man, one of the locals, restlessly switching his weight from one foot to the other, and with a feverish and roaming look in his eyes. The sailor didn’t find it strange that the sweaty man was so sweaty; it was after all at least 35°C in the shade, and besides the sweaty man was wearing two sarongs and two shirts under his pulled-down fez.

  The sweaty man was in his mid-twenties, and did not have the slightest ambition to become any older. His soul was in revolution. Not because half the population of the country was unemployed, nor because every fifth citizen had HIV or Aids, nor because of the hopeless shortage of drinking water, nor because of the way the desert was spreading across the nation and swallowing the pathetically small amount of arable land. No, the man was furious because the USA had established a military base in the country.

  In that respect, the USA was not alone. The French Foreign Legion was already there. There was a strong link between France and Djibouti. The country used to be called French Somaliland (in French of course) until it was allowed to go into business on its own in the 1970s.

  Next to the Foreign Legion’s base, the United States had now negotiated the right to establish its own base at a convenient distance from the Gulf and Afghanistan, and indeed from a whole row of Central African tragedies just around the corner.

  Good idea, thought the Americans, while nearly all the Djiboutians couldn’t care less. They were fully occupied with trying to survive yet another day.

  But one of them had evidently had time to reflect upon the American presence. Or perhaps he was simply a bit too religious for his own, worldly good.

  Whatever the reason, he was now wandering about in the centre of the capital city on the look-out for a group of American soldiers on leave. During his walk he nervously fiddled with the string he was to pull – at the right time – so that the Americans would be blown to hell while he himself would sail off in the opposite direction.

  But, as we have already heard, it was hot (as it tends to be in Djibouti). The bomb itself was taped onto his stomach and back and covered by a double layer of garments. The suicide bomber must have been boiling in the sun, and the combination of heat and nerves led him to fiddle a little too much with his string.

  In so doing, he transformed himself and the unfortunate people who happened to be standing near him into mincemeat. A further two Djiboutians died from their wounds and ten or so were badly injured.

  None of the victims was American. But the man standing closest to the suicide bomber seemed to have been a European. The police found his wallet in sensationally good condition next to the remains of its owner. Besides eight hundred Swedish crowns in banknotes, the wallet contained a passport and a driver’s licence.

  The following day, the Swedish honorary consul in Djibouti was informed by the city’s mayor that all the evidence suggested that Swedish citizen Erik Bengt Bylund had fallen victim to the mad bomb attack in the city’s fish market.

  Regrettably the city was unable to hand over the remains of the said Bylund because the body was too badly damaged. The pieces had, however, immediately been cremated, under respectful circumstances.

&nbs
p; The honorary consul did receive Bylund’s wallet, which contained his passport and driver’s licence (the money had disappeared en route). The mayor expressed his regrets that the city had not been able to protect the Swedish citizen, but he did feel obliged to point out something, if the honorary consul would permit an observation.

  Bylund had been in Djibouti without a valid visa. The mayor didn’t know how many times he had raised the problem with the Frenchmen and for that matter with President Guelleh. If the French wanted to fly in legionnaires directly to their base, that was their business. But the very same moment a legionnaire left the base to go into the city of Djibouti (‘my city’ as the mayor put it) as a civilian, he must have valid documentation. The mayor did not for a second doubt that Bylund was a foreign legionnaire. He knew the pattern all too well. The Americans followed the rules, but the French behaved as if they were still in Somaliland.

  The honorary consul thanked the mayor for his condolences, and lied and promised on a suitable occasion to discuss the matter of visas with the French representatives.

  It was a horrendous experience for Arnis Ikstens, the unfortunate man in charge of the car crushing machine at the scrap yard in the southern suburbs of Riga, the capital of Latvia. When the last car in the row was squashed completely flat he suddenly noticed a human arm sticking out of the cubic metal package that until recently had been a car.

  Arnis immediately phoned the police, and then went home, even though it was the middle of the day. The image of the dead arm would haunt him for a long time to come. He prayed to God that the person was already dead before he squashed the car in his crushing machine.