Wayward

by Ashley Girardi

  * * * * *

  I successfully avoided Wayward family gatherings for most of my life—reunions, birthdays, ritual sacrifices. I wasn't having any of it. Until a cold day in April when my mother insisted that I attend my cousin Ferdinand's wedding.

  "Really, Helena. Think of your obligation to the family." My mother held the stem of an empty wineglass between the tips of her fingers as if unsure what to do with it. A maid would be punished by dinnertime. "You've been shirking your responsibility for years. If you don't show some initiative, people will began to wonder."

  Wonder what? I wanted to ask. Wonder if Los Angeles living had dulled Leonora Wayward's senses. Wonder if her little pathetic daughter with no magic, and no backbone, was a product of too much inbreeding and not just a tragic mistake. Wonder if Leonora was still capable of raising appropriately cold-blooded children.

  Magdalen, my eldest sister, suggested to my father when I was born that he have the midwife strangle me with my own umbilical cord. Then throw my infant body in the river and let it wash away a tragic mistake.

  She'd been twelve at the time.

  My mother always took pity on me. Of all her children, I was the only one with her eyes. Dark and deep, but with a shine like polished mahogany.

  This time she wouldn't listen to my excuses. I was named on the invitation and it would be an insult not to attend.

  "It's in the south of France. You've always wanted to see the country," my mother continued. "It's important that we all be there to welcome Bianca into the family."

  Bianca Abell-Fantani, my cousin's fiancée and the not-so-blushing-bride, would appreciate my presence at her wedding in the same way she would rat droppings on the wedding cake.

  "There will be so many relatives there that we haven't seen in years." My mother said this as if the thought should make me happy.

  Whenever I grew especially frustrated or frightened, I felt a dark edge in my mind. A quiet voice whispered promises of strength and protection.

  You deserve to survive, no matter the cost.

  The wedding was held in a renovated chateau, built in the fifteenth century. The walls of the ballroom were made of cool stone and delicate crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Despite the beauty of the surroundings, I left the reception before it even began.

  My parents were too busy networking to notice me slip out of the grand hall. The foyer was empty and I climbed the stairs to the second floor.

  In company like this, I knew better than to open any closed doors. This was a night for uncontrolled festivity. The last thing I wanted was to join a private party uninvited.

  An open door at the end of the hallway beckoned to me. I slipped inside the room and pulled the door closed behind me. Three of the four walls were rows of bookshelves that stood twice as tall as I did. I sighed happily. I'd found a tropical island while lost at sea.

  I chose a book, Metamorphosis by Kafka, kicked off my too-tight shoes and curled up into an armchair. The leather warmed against my skin.

  I didn't hear the door open and only looked up when it softly closed.

  "I thought I saw you sneak up here. You never could keep up with the rest of the family."

  My stomach rolled as I scrambled out of the chair. Ceres Athenum-Abell, a cousin of the bride, was rumored to have joined the Blooded that year. The black dress shirt he wore would hide the scars of initiation, so it was impossible to tell for sure.

  He was dangerous, either way, and I was very aware that he stood between me and the only way out.

  "I really didn't think you'd show your face." He leaned against the closed door. "I was just telling Bianca the other day: 'How I miss playing with little Helena. It's such a shame how her mother keeps her hidden away.'" He took a step forward and I countered by moving behind the armchair, a small barrier between us. "Did you come here for me?"

  "Don't do anything stupid, Ceres." My voice came breathy and I cursed the obvious weakness. "My mother will destroy you."

  "I have no intention of paying bloodprice for your pathetic little life, darling," His smile was dangerous. "Leonora is a terrifying negotiator."

  He sauntered slowly around the chair and I matched his movements. I knew he taunted me, making me think that I might get away.

  "Please don't," I whispered.

  "I'll make you a deal." Ceres stopped and snapped his fingers. "How about I only kill you a little?"

  He lunged and I dodged away, but not fast enough. An end table crashed to the ground, taking the lamp with it and the room became enveloped in darkness. He landed on me and I was suddenly face down with his weight pressing me into the floor. It was impossible to breathe.

  "What's it going to be, baby?" His breath was hot against my ear. One of his hands slipped under the skirt of my dress and his fingers slid against the bare skin of my inner thigh. "I prefer the point here, just above your femoral artery." He pinched the skin and his knuckles just barely brushed the cotton of my panties.

  I reared back and kicked, dislodging him for a moment. Ceres recovered and laughed, smoothing the fabric of the skirt over my hip with one hand. "I suppose you won't hold still for that."

  Searching fingers tickled up my neck and stroked the shell of my ear.

  "Just here."

  He bent and kissed the juncture at my neck and shoulder. My heart beat so fast that he could probably feel my pulse against his lips. With one hand, he grabbed a handful of my hair and wrenched my head painfully to one side.

  "Be a good girl and it won't hurt nearly as much." Pressing his body closer, Ceres sealed his lips against my skin and pressed hard.

  Ceres was a liar.

  Pain started with a thousand white-hot needles, piercing the skin of my throat and radiating down to my chest. Invisible hands tugged at my heart, trying to pull it from my body. As I resisted, fire burned along every nerve.

  I screamed.

  The fire faded slowly, starting at my hands and feet, and worked its way inward. It was replaced by the searing cold of emptiness.

  He sucked my soul from my unwilling body and I did nothing to stop him.

  Ceres could go on until every part of me was gone. He would grow stronger and stronger until I faded away, an empty husk of a body. No spirit and no life.

  Maybe I could have fought him off if I hadn't been so afraid. I never even tried.

  Ceres left me huddled on the floor, minutes or hours later. I wrapped my arms around myself in an effort to fight off a chill that came from within. He sauntered back to the party, drunk on power. Poor Kafka lay abandoned on the floor.

  I made it back to the room that I shared with my sister, Aislynn, though I didn't remember getting there. My face in the mirror above the bathroom sink was gaunt with heavy bruises under the eyes. I seemed suddenly too small for the ivory gown my mother had made me wear, huddled inside the voluminous fabric.

  I could feel Ceres still in the edges of my mind, hear his laughter and taste his intoxicated elation. He kept a piece of my soul that I couldn't get back. The magic he worked was powerful.

  I understood that there was only one way to break a link between souls: Death.

  The party was in full swing when I entered the great hall. Ferdinand and Bianca led a waltz in the center of the room.

  Ceres had his back to me as I approached. He smiled and said something to the group around him, probably gloating. They were all relatives of mine or his, except for one man that I didn't recognize.

  No one here would interfere. That wasn't how the game was played.

  He must have felt my gaze because the strange man turned and cast me a knowing smile. When I glared, he raised his glass in a silent toast. I ignored him, all I cared about was Ceres.

  When the music ended, I crept forward. Bianca and Ferdinand joined the group around him. Their vicious smiles would normally be enough to keep me away, but not tonight.

  I saw my mother and father engaged in conversation out of the corner of my eye. I knew they wouldn't
help, assuming the thought to try ever even crossed either of their minds.

  "A toast." The stranger spoke and his voice held a rich, fluid quality that made me shiver. "To the happy couple and their eternal happiness."

  This close, I could see that his eyes were the palest blue, the color of glacial ice.

  I made a small movement and Ceres whirled to face me. His gaze traveled down the length of my body. The regard in his eyes was intimate, as if the room were empty save for the two us. I shivered, but couldn't look away.

  Ceres took an unconscious step forward and caught himself. "If it isn't the little duckling turned into a swan." His gaze was as mocking as ever, but there was a different light in his eyes.

  The fool thought I wanted him.

  The crowd parted to admit me as if I could hold my own in this den of monsters. Maybe they were all just hoping to see a show.

  "Very impressive," Ceres purred, extended a hand. He was laughing at me. "That certainly was a speedy recovery."

  We had the attention of everyone in the room. All of them could see the angry bruise that had formed on the curve of my neck. This was all just for their entertainment.

  I wouldn't give him a warning.

  The stranger wore an expression of mocking curiosity. He stepped aside with a sardonic smile as I moved past.

  Bianca held her hand out to me and I allowed her to draw me into her circle. Ceres stepped behind me, not quite touching, but I could feel him like a heavy shadow at my back.

  He smoothed the hair next to my ear with the finger of one hand and I felt the hot rush of his breath against the side of my throat. "I've a mind to keep her around for a while," he said to Bianca and brushed his fingers down the skin of my upper arm.

  I couldn't stop a shiver of disgust and Bianca smiled widely, mistaking it for passion. "You must tell me how you enjoy being Ceres' new pet, Helena."

  She moved to kiss my cheek in the traditional greeting, a mocking smile still playing in the corners of her mouth. Quick as a striking cobra, I grabbed her chin in a grip like a vise and forced her eyes to meet mine.

  Her cool brown eyes, the color of sweet molasses, sparked with anger. As we stared at each other, the anger faded to be replaced by surprise, then fear. She wrenched her face away and eyed me warily, like a particularly dangerous animal at the zoo.

  She had seen it, then.

  I touched the hand that still stroked my shoulder with light fingertips. "Cousin," I sighed. I turned in the circle of his arms and his bent face was a scant millimeter from mine. My breath whispered against his skin and I looked into his eyes for the first time.

  There was nothing.

  That dark gaze should have swamped me. A wave of pure longing should have carried me to a place where I would be his slave. But his eyes were simply eyes, there was no longer any power behind them.

  His expression was still smug. The idiot had no idea what was coming.

  I laid my hand against his cheek and Ceres smiled, thinking he had finally captured me with his pathetic parlor tricks.

  Smiling back, I leaned closer. "I'd like a drink. Get me one."

  Ceres shook his head as if to clear it and stepped back. That wasn't what he had expected. But we did have an audience, and Ceres would never allow himself to be embarrassed. As far as anyone knew, this was just part of the fun.

  "As you will," he murmured and insinuation laced his tone. "What would you like, cousin?"

  "Don't be rude, Ceres," I admonished gently. I turned to the stranger, drawn in spite of myself. "What are you having, Mr...."

  "Armagnac."

  Hair the color of unset rubies cascaded down his back and his eyes were like chips of ice. I made a leisurely appraisal of his body and returned the look in his amused eyes with more heat than a girl of my chaste upbringing had any right to have. "Is that a name or a drink?"

  "The drink," he replied easily. "You may call me Valentine."

  I brazenly offered him my hand. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Valentine." I paused. "I'm Hex Wayward." The name came to me for the first time in that moment. I was no longer Sweet Helena, Docile Helena or Helena the Victim. I was a curse.

  He cradled my cold hand for longer than courtesy strictly dictated. I could feel the seductive heat of him seep through my fingers. "That seems a decidedly unlucky sobriquet, Ms. Wayward."

  "For you or for me?" I asked softly.

  Valentine smiled and took a casual sip from his glass.

  I spoke to Ceres without looking at him. "You heard the man, Cousin." I slid my hand out of the stranger's grip with a twinge of regret. "Bring the bottle."

  Ceres returned from the bar with the brandy in one hand and a full glass in the other. He stopped short of me and looked down at his hands in confusion as if he had no idea how what he carried had come to be there.

  Bianca giggled. "It's a little late for hard liquor, Ceres." She seemed to have recovered her wits. "You've already had your fun with her."

  I took the glass from my bewildered cousin. "But, I haven't had my fun with him yet."

  There was a small rumble of polite laughter.

  The brandy slid down my throat in a trail of smooth fire. The heat of it warmed my cold insides. Ceres regarded me with the silent intensity of a newly trained puppy. It was beginning to annoy me.

  "Cousin," I murmured and took a small sip of my drink. "You're boring me."

  I pulled my mental hold on him tight. It was as if silken ropes bound his every limb and he bobbed on his toes like a living marionette. His hand rose mechanically above his head and the brandy flowed in a dark rush as he upended the bottle. Burgundy rivulets ran down his face and into his eyes. His clothes were soaked through. Liquid streamed off of him to the floor like spilled blood.

  Ceres took jerking steps as I made him walk through the open veranda doors and outside into the moonlight. He tried to resist my compulsion, but he no longer had any control over his own body. The silent crowd followed us.

  Our audience had an unrestricted view. The look of horror on his face was unmistakable as I sent him through the gate that surrounded the feasting bonfire.

  I turned away.

  Ceres screamed as his body flung itself upon the fire. The wedding party stared into the leaping flames where one of their prized son once stood.

  Bianca was the first to react. She screamed as if her own precious white skin was aflame. "You hell bitch. I'll kill you for this."

  "Shut up, Bianca."

  Bianca opened her mouth to speak but could only work her jaw back and forth in silence. She wrapped her hands around her throat, wide-eyed. I approached her with a sad smile. "Did you know, that Ceres stole a piece of my soul?" I tipped her chin up with the point of one finger as she stood immobile. "Should I take a piece of yours to replace it?"

  She backed away from me, fear widening her eyes. It was a moment worth remembering. I'd never seen terror from the other side before.

  The fire crackled outside as Ceres' burning husk of a body crumpled into ash. I finished the brandy and looked up to find Valentine's eyes on me. I licked the last drop of alcohol from my lips.

  "Such a waste." I tossed the glass into the black granite of the fireplace where it smashed into a million glittering pieces. "That was a fine brandy."

  The crowd parted like a wave when I made my way to the door. Valentine stood in the archway waiting. When he held his elegant hand out to me, I took it.

  I left the room silent as the darkness of space. The glass shards scattered on the floor were merely distant stars.

  For the first time in my life, I felt like a Wayward.

  I was a monster.