The Core Four Series

by Stacy Borel

  My fingers flexed then dug into my palms. “Don’t you think that’s the first thing you should have done? Call me crazy, but we’ve all been driving around trying to find her, and you could have put me out of my misery fifteen minutes ago?”

  “Keegan I think you need to settle down and take a breather. She’s fine, she’s safe, everything’s okay.”

  “No Camden! Everything is not okay!” I screamed. Tears were pouring out of my eyes at a steady pace, and I wanted to wring his neck. “Don’t you get it? Everyone has been out looking for her; me, Macie, Dodger…the police! You should have called me.”

  He narrowed his eyes, and his stance became rigid. “You’re upset, and if you want to take it out on me, then fine. But I did what I thought was best, so I suggest you calm down and not get even more worked up.”

  I saw Sarah look up at me out of the corner of my eye. If she wasn’t here, I would be digging through the kitchen drawers for a murder weapon right about now. Instead, I resolved myself. Turning toward the stairs, I started to make my way up to my room. In my closet I pulled out a duffle bag and began throwing all of my clothes in, not caring if they were folded neatly.

  “What are you doing?” Camden asked from the doorway.

  “Leaving.”

  He felt him come into my room and approach me from behind. “Why?” He sounded confused.

  “Because I need out, I need to step away to get a break from everything.” I went back to my closet and collected more things.

  His arm shot out, and he grabbed my wrist. “Would you stop for a minute and talk to me?”

  I faced him. “What do you want to talk about, huh? Do you want talk about the fact that you didn’t think of me again when there was something that was obviously important? Or how about that you conveniently didn’t tell me about Bree when knowing that you had a sister is a pretty big fucking deal. Or maybe even that I told you that I loved you for the first time and you had nothing to say about it.” My chest heaved as air rushed out of me, and I broke out into a full on sob.

  He tried to bring me into him, but I yanked my arm away. It pissed him off. “So you’re just running away. You’re not even going to give me the chance to talk to you, is that it?”

  “You’ve had plenty of chances to tell me the shit that you’ve kept from me. Clearly I’m not a vital person in your life. You place your value in other things, and I’m too far down on your list of ‘what Camden gives a shit about’ for you to care.”

  He moved fast. Ripping the clothes out of my hands and throwing them against the wall, he clasped the back of my neck and made me look him in the eyes. I’d never seen him so angry in all the time that I’d known him. There was no mistaking the intensity of his words when he spoke. “You ever say anything like that to me again, I can promise you this is done. You’ve never been low on my priority list, and if you ever were, believe me you’d know it. I do things in my own way. You needed to take some time to process how you felt about me. That was fine, I was giving you that time. But in no way was that a reflection on my feelings. Was I wrong for not telling you about Breslin? Hell yes I was wrong, and I regret it. Should I have called you when Sarah came knocking on the door tonight? Yeah, probably. But everything I do Keegan, I do it in my own way. It’s not because I’m trying to be mean, or facetious, or blatantly hurtful. I’m about done with you lashing out at me because you’re pissed off. If you haven’t noticed I’m not a very tolerant man. It fucking ends now. So you either get on board and deal with how I am, and I will try to make a concerted effort to be more open with the shit that comes my way, or you walk away. I won’t stand here and let you accuse me of not caring, when I actually care more than you could imagine.”

  His fingers were digging into my hair, and I was panting so hard that my lips were dry. I felt so bewildered by his words that I wasn’t even sure how to respond to him. Instead I stayed silent going over every word, processing each one so that it made sense. Apparently it was the wrong thing to do, because Camden abruptly let go of me and took a step back. His eyes bounced back and forth between mine. The one emotion that was so easy to read from him was pain. Somehow in my silence I’d crushed him and now he was the one pulling away. My heart lurched and I wanted nothing more than to say, ‘wait, I love you. Let’s not do this, can we just start over?’ But I didn’t. My feet were plastered in place as I watched him close his eyes and take a deep breath. When he opened them again, he shook his head at me and walked out. Without a care that Sarah was downstairs or that Macie might still be in the car, I flung myself onto my bed and curled into the fetal position and cried.

  Camden left me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  THE NEXT MORNING I WAS LYING in my bed staring at the yellow walls. Walls that Camden had painted for me because he was trying to do something nice, something to show he cared. The fact that I had a bag packed beside my bed was weighing heavily on me, but the idea of walking out of the apartment not knowing when I’d be back made me want to hurl myself off a cliff. If I walked out on Camden, that would be it. He wouldn’t forgive me, and there’d be no coming back. There was a light tapping on the door before it was opened and in walked a showered and refreshed Bree. I thought she had left town already but apparently not. Lucky me.

  “Hey, mind if I come in?” she asked.

  Uncurling myself, I scooted up the bed and pushed my hair behind my ears. “No, come on in.” I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anybody, and certainly not her. I might know who she was now, but that didn’t mean my brain was yet computing that she wasn’t the enemy. I should get to know her though. Camden protected her, he loved her, and he was a part of her, because they shared the same DNA. And anything that was Camden, I loved.

  She came and sat down next to me, stretching out her long toned legs and getting comfortable next to me like she’d known me her whole life. “How’re you holding up?”

  “Fine I guess. Just happy that my sister is safe.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, I heard about that. That must’ve been pretty scary.”

  “Yes it was, more than you know.” I was fidgeting with my blankets.

  There was an awkward silence that loomed between us, and neither one of us were speaking. She glanced around my room and smiled. “Like your room. I have the same colors in mine.”

  I didn’t know how I felt about us sharing the same tastes. Maybe that was why Camden picked what he did. “Thanks,” was all the response I gave her.

  “So this isn’t awkward at all,” she said sarcastically.

  I had to give her credit, she was trying. I smiled over at her. “I’m sorry, I’m just not much for talking right now.”

  “I figured as much, which is why this might be perfect timing for me to do some talking, if you’re willing to listen.”

  Intrigued, I sat up a little straighter. “Okay.”

  She started off by telling me about her mom, how she never was around, and how she made Bree feel like she didn’t want her. “It wasn’t like that all of the time though. We’d have moments where she’d come home with all the ingredients to bake cookies, and she wanted to spend time with me. Or we would camp out in the living room and watch cartoon after cartoon laughing. It was like she wanted to love me, she just didn’t know how. Paul, my dad, he didn’t realize she had been depressed when the courts gave her half custody. He’s told me, had he known, he would have never let me live there. Paul’s a good man. It’s where Camden gets it from. In fact that whole family is good people.”

  “They’re your family too.” I pointed out the obvious.

  “Yes, but as you grow older, you question things that were done to you, and how having a different life would have led you in a different direction. I don’t blame Paul or Donna for my childhood. They tried to get me to come live with them, but for some reason, I just couldn’t leave her. I’d become the parent, and she was the child I raised.”

  Wow, didn’t I know that feeling? Sitting here next to her it felt like every wor
d that was pouring out of her mouth were words that I was supposed to hear, to relate to. Our childhood stories alone were so similar you’d think we lived side by side in the same world. Except, I didn’t have a dad who wanted me. If I’d had one who was like Paul, I probably would have a lot more questions about my life and how different it could have been.

  “Bree, I’m sorry for how I treated you, and the things that I said outside of the restaurant the other day. I had no idea who you were, and I’d kind of snapped. That’s never happened to me before,” I offered.

  “It’s cool. He should have told you. I knew he was dating someone, though I didn’t know how serious you two were, but I should’ve known he would have kept it from you unless I gave him permission to tell you. See, that’s the thing about Camden, he’s loyal to a fault. He never spills secrets, even if it could ruin everyone else around him. I know that I have three other brothers who would drop everything for me if I asked, but Camden has always been the one who reaches out to me. He’s the one who acts more like the big brother versus the little brother. I rely on him too much, and I wished I wouldn’t have asked him to help me. It’s caused a shit storm of a mess, and I’m very sorry about that.”

  I shook my head. “No, don’t blame yourself. He should have told me, just like he should have told me about a lot of things. But I guess you’re right about Camden being tight lipped about stuff. It’s just that it’s ‘mum’s the word’ with him all the time, and all I want is for him to feel comfortable enough to talk to me.”

  She reached over and grabbed my hand. When I glanced up at her, I wanted to burst into tears. She looked so much like Camden, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. How did I not see it in the photo? Well, I guess if I wasn’t looking for it, how could I have?

  “He does feel comfortable enough with you. He loves you Keegan.” I was about to argue, but she stopped me. “No, just listen to me. I’ve watched him grow up and date girls here and there. Do you know how many he’s ever brought home?”

  “No.”

  “Zero. Do you know how many he’s stuck with for as long as he’s been with you?”

  “Huh-uh.”

  “Zero. And do you know how many he’s told that he loves them?”

  Tears sprung to my eyes and I said, “No.”

  “None, Keegan. He’s never said it to another girl.”

  “But he’s never said it to me either.”

  “Do you think he even needs to? Camden sees something in you that is clearly special, and I see it too. You’re different than the other girls. He pushes and tests those that he lets in, because he wants to know that they will fight for him, like he will fight for them. Oh boy did you fight.” She laughed. “He needs someone like you who’ll give him a challenge. I knew that Camden was never going to settle for a girl who was shallow or vain. He likes other qualities…qualities that are real. Give him another chance, Keegan, he deserves one, and so do you.”

  The corners of my eyes had crusted dry tears, and now they were wet again. “Thank you for talking to me. Your brother is pretty special to me, and I think you’re pretty great as well.” I paused. “Wait, what are you going to do, you know, about the whole baby thing?”

  She exhaled loudly. “That’s the question of the year isn’t it? I think I’ll be heading back home to let the guy know and make a decision from there. I never thought I’d be in this position, but I am so I guess I better face the music.”

  I squeezed her hand. “Good luck, Bree. I know you have other people to talk to, but I’m here if you need someone.”

  “Thanks,” she said as she got up from the bed. Before she walked out the door she faced me. “Keep him on his toes slugger. He deserves you.” Then she walked out.

  ***

  I’d kept my bags packed but didn’t leave. I went over and over in my head some things that Camden had said. He told me that I needed to get on board with him, that he was set in his ways. Camden had never done relationships, especially ones where his girlfriend was already living with him. At what point did I not cut the man some slack for that? It was a big adjustment for the both of us. At twenty-five years old, he’d been doing things on his own for quite some time, and now he was having to make adjustments to almost every part of his life for me to fit in. If he didn’t find me worth it, he wouldn’t have. In my heart I knew this, but waiting for my brain to catch up wasn’t so fun. My instincts were screaming at me to give him the chance that he deserved. If I walked out, that would have been it for us. I decided I was going to stay and fight for this, for us, because we deserved it. I loved him. Camden consumed me, and as scary as it was, it was still the best feeling I’d ever felt.

  He had been gone for two days now. I’d texted Dodger after the first night to ask if he’d seen his brother, to which he responded that he was at his house, and he didn’t know how long he’d be there. I felt sick that Camden wanted to be away from me. If this was what it was going to be like not having him around, I didn’t like it at all. I was barely functioning as it was, but with each passing hour my heart was screaming at me to run to him. It was nearing midnight on night two when I’d passed out on the couch. I woke up to the sound of the lock clicking on the front door and the sight of a very disheveled looking Camden walking in. His hair was all over the place, his t-shirt was wrinkled, and if I had to guess, I’d say he had probably worn the same thing two days in a row. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He looked out over the living room as though he were searching for me. The moment our eyes met, it was like I could breathe again. Rising from the couch, I went to him. Without hesitation he opened his arms to me, and it was like he was welcoming me back home. I pressed my face into his hard chest and let him wrap his enormous arms around me like a present. His scent invaded my senses, and I did everything I could not to climb up his body and cling to him like a monkey. He buried his nose in my hair, and he fisted a handful of my hair. We stayed this way; not speaking, not moving, just simply being, for quite some time. It could have easily been thirty minutes that we held each other like that when I felt it was time for us to talk.

  “Please don’t leave me,” I mumbled into his neck.

  “Never,” he stated, squeezing me tighter.

  “You were gone for a while. I wasn’t sure if you were going to come back, or if you wanted me to leave before you got back.”

  “You’re ridiculous. I just needed to work some things out in my head, is all. This all just went south really quickly and before I got a chance to fix anything, something else happened.”

  “And have you worked out the stuff in your head?”

  “For the most part. Seeing you is making it better though. These last couple of days have been hard.”

  “For the record, I don’t think I could ever walk away from you Camden. You’re sort of my person. I kind of like you.”

  I heard him chuckle sleepily. “Good, cause I’m pretty sure I kind of like you too. But we do have a lot that we need to talk about Keegan.”

  Loosening my hold on him, I said, “Come upstairs with me?”

  He nodded, taking my hand and walking upstairs. In his bedroom, we both stripped down and climbed into his bed. Once we were settled, we were lying down facing each other, our feet tangled together, and our faces only inches apart.

  “I’m sorry for yelling at you, Camden. You didn’t deserve how I treated you, or not letting you explain yourself to me. I’ve not been very understanding lately, and I think I’ve been scared that you’d get too close and then realize that I wasn’t worth it.”

  “That’s never going to happen. It wasn’t until I met you that I knew that something worth it even existed. I think you and I are just going to have to work on a learning curve. Because we already live together, we have to do things differently. I’d never change us or our situation, but we both are still making adjustments. As long as you know that I’m in this with you and I’m not leaving, everything will be fine. I told you, you’d be the girl that could ruin me, and I
meant it.” He lifted one of my hands and placed it over his heart. “Do you feel this?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s yours. It’s not beating for anyone else, just you. I love you too Keegan. I didn’t get the chance to say it back to you, because I think I was more shocked when those words left your beautiful lips than anything else. Never in my life did I think I’d find the girl who turns me upside-down and changes the way that I do things or how I think. Then in walked you, this blond-haired girl with the brightest blue eyes, and you’ve knocked me off my axis ever since. Our world spins a different way, and I like that.”

  My heart stuttered in my chest. Bree was right. But didn’t I already know that? Camden Brooks just told me he loved me. Me. The girl who never dared to dream past getting a nursing degree and having a stable environment. I smiled the biggest smile I think my face had ever made, and he reciprocated. Somebody pinch me because I thought I was dreaming.

  “No more not trusting, no more secrets, no more hiding. I promise to tell you everything, even the dirty ugly secrets about myself, but I want to know the same about you. To know everything there is to know about a person is a powerful thing.”

  “Agreed.”

  Sighing deeply I said, “I’m going to need your help with something.”

  “Name it, you’ve got my undivided attention.”

  “I need to go speak with my mom about Sarah, and I have a feeling it’s not going to be pretty. Come with me?”

  He cupped my cheek while he held himself up with one arm. “Of course.”

  My heart melted. “K. We’ll go tomorrow afternoon while Sarah is at a birthday party.”

  “No problem, whenever.” He bit his lip, and I recognized that playful look in his eyes. “What sort of dark ugly secrets do you have? Share one right now. Aaaand go!”

  I laughed. “Okay well, it’s not really a dirty secret, but I’m really strange about peanut M&M’s. I eat them in threes. One goes in each cheek to get warm and melted, while I suck on the third one to get the candy shell off. Then I just rotate them around as I eat them.”