by Kat Long
Um, no. On second thought, no exhibitionist antics are in my future. But thinking about that movie gave me a clear picture of Annaleigh with a swollen belly and a bright smile, softly singing You Are My Sunshine in a room with pink curtains and a white rocking chair.
Our daughter would wear glasses like me and have Blue’s love of music. Her favorite color would be green, and she would have long fingers for playing the piano. She would be strong-willed and short-tempered, perfect for running her own company. She would be everything good about the two of us and be surrounded by so much love.
We’d move somewhere with a big yard and a garden. Baxter couldn’t handle her spiral staircase, and neither could a kid. Damn. I might as well stop for a pair of New Balances. But hell, I’d wear them to the office every day if it meant winning her back. Silk vests and dad shoes for the win!
My man-ovaries, or fatherly instinct or whatever, was kicked into overdrive. Let me win her back before I go planning our life down to a white-picket fence, I thought, peeling out of the parking lot. Blue didn’t need to hear my fantasies or my excuses. She only needed to know I love her, and I was going to fight for her.
Turning on to her street, I snorted, imagining her coming home to find me waiting in nothing but a vest and dad-shoes. She would compliment how white my sneakers were and how much she loved my dad-bod before we went at it like frenzied rabbits. Then we would take our multi-vitamins and be in bed by ten.
Warren’s rental was parked in front of her Highlander, and I pulled my truck in and jogged to her doorstep. Knocking harder than I should, I tapped my foot and waited. She answered the door with red, puffy eyes.
“What are you doing here, Max?”
Her hair was piled on top of her head, and her blue robe was thrown over her shoulders. She was wearing an oversized T-shirt and shorts and had a brace around one wrist. Her knees were scraped, and there were dark circles under her eyes. Seeing her like that, not smiling, looking defeated, shattered me. I wanted to take her in my arms. But when I stepped forward, she stepped back. Baxter pushed his way beside her and whined, and I reached out to scratch behind his ears. He licked my hand and pressed himself against Blue, looking between us.
“I should have been here the minute I came back from Chicago. I never should have left. It was a set-up, and I was a fool for falling for it. You are the only one I want, Blue. And I’m so sorry for ever making you doubt it. I’m sorry for ever making you think you were not the most important woman in my life. I’m sorry for not being here when you were hurt, for not being able to stop him and keep you safe.”
“Thank you. But that seems to be our story, doesn’t it? Misunderstandings and apologies. It shouldn’t be this hard. We shouldn’t be this hard,” she said, moving to shut the door.
“No. I shouldn’t have overreacted. And that fucker Benjamin is exactly where he belongs. Blue, baby, can I come in? There are things I need to say.”
I braced both hands on her door frame and leaned into it, smelling oranges and vanilla. My heart was beating with caffeine and adrenaline, and I was lightheaded smelling her, being near her again.
She didn’t move, and I knew her next words before she said them, “Not right now, Max. The place is a mess, and I’m tired.”
I stepped closer and traced my knuckles along her jaw. She closed her eyes and sighed. Bingo! This wasn’t over by a long shot. She just needed time.
“I understand. I’ll text you later, is that okay?”
She nodded, and when her red-rimmed eyes met mine, I saw everything I wanted. I saw my future. Leaning forward, I cupped her jaw and lightly brushed my lips against hers.
“Blue,” I said, “Our story isn’t misunderstandings and apologizes. Our story is love, so much love that neither of us knew what to do with it all. But I’ll show you every day. I’ll show you that you’re worth it. And loving you isn’t hard. It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done once I got out of my way. Leaving you is something I’ll regret for a long time and something I’ll never do again.”
She backed up and put her hand on the doorknob. I leaned forward, hating that I couldn’t pull her into my arms, and brushed my lips against her cheek this time. “I was an asshole, baby. And I’m so sorry.”
That brought a small smile to her beautiful face, and I bent down to Baxter, rubbing his head and whispering my gratitude. When I stood up, she was smiling, and I felt like I’d won the lottery.
I started my truck and looked back to her house, seeing the drapes twitch. Scrubbing my hand over my patchy hatchet shave-job, I pulled back onto the road and headed to my next stop. Phase one of getting her to acknowledge my existence and apology went better than expected. Phase two of bringing people over to Team Max was going to involve groveling.
The bakery was slow, and I was wracking my brain with what to say when I stepped up to order. I pushed my glasses on my head and dug a knuckle into my eye. “Large hazelnut latte with an extra shot and a half-dozen orange scones, please.”
Blindly reaching for my wallet, I kept my head hung, jerking up with a start when Olivia slammed a coffeepot back on the warmer. The look she gave me made my balls shrink to the size of marbles, and I instinctively covered my dick.
“What the hell are you doing here, Broody?” she said, putting her hand on her hip.
I felt sorry for any kids she has one day. Her mom-look could stop a hardened criminal in their tracks. Smoothing the wrinkles in my shirt, I stood up straighter and squared my shoulders, handing over my credit card with somewhat steady hands.
“I was hoping to talk to you, Addison, and Jenna.”
Her face didn’t change, and she tossed my credit card back to me before tilting her head to the end of the counter. I nodded and followed, knowing my balls were going to have to drop back down to make it through this conversation.
“I don’t think so, Broody,” she said, pushing the coffee and scones to me. She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, “Now, if there isn’t anything else, some of us are working.”
I reached out and touched her arm, and she flinched like my hands were hot pokers.
“Listen, I’m not leaving until I can talk to you. I want your support. I won’t stop till I get her back. I’ll come back every day if I have to. I’ll be over there waiting,” I said, tilting my head to a small table towards the back and grabbing my coffee and scones.
I was a glutton for punishment as I sat, sipping the sugary-sweet drink. I pulled out my phone and flipped through several pictures of us. One stood out from the rest. It was at the bar, right before she sang. We were looking at each other, smiling with our hands clasped together. I could count on one hand how many pictures I had where I looked that happy. As I stared out the window, my eyes glazed over, watching people walk by the storefront. An idea started to form—something to show her how sorry I was.
I was gripping a third cup of coffee when I heard voices moving closer. I didn’t take my eyes from the window, willing my heart rate to slow down.
“How long has he been here, Liv?”
“Going on three hours. I feel sorry for him. Thought it was time I called y’all to meet me here.”
“Good idea. He looks more miserable than Annaleigh.”
“Well, duh, Addison. Look at him.”
“You know, I can hear you,” I said, kicking out the chair beside me.
One sat down, and the other two pulled up chairs to the tiny table. Someone took the coffee I was white-knuckling and replaced it with water, and someone else pushed a plate of fruit toward me.
“Yeah, we know you can hear us, Broody. And figured you’d suffered enough. We needed to make sure you were serious about getting her back.”
“Of course, I’m serious about getting her back. And thanks, I think.”
I took an apple slice and popped it in my mouth, meeting the eyes of her three best friends.
“You’re welco
me,” one said.
She was wearing a red power suit with matching heels and nails. Ah, this must be Addison, the real estate mogul. Sitting next to her was Jenna. She was wearing a dark shirt and purple-rimmed glasses. She had her hair in a low bun, and her back was ramrod straight.
Olivia took off her apron, laying it on the table before crossing her arms, with the mom-look back in full force. All three of them were staring at me with mastered mom-looks. I wondered if they practiced at home, trying to figure out what would intimidate the most.
I took a swig of water before talking. “So, I’m an asshole.”
“Obviously,” Addison said.
“I assume we are not supposed to disagree with you?” Jenna added, swiping an apple slice from my plate.
“Um, right. I’ve apologized, but it’s not good enough. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do something good enough.”
“Not with that attitude, Broody. Can you be done with the pity party now, please?” Jenna said, pushing the fruit closer.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m so tired. I have an idea, but I’m going to need your help, ladies.”
“You look like hell, and so does she. Talk to us, Broody,” Olivia said, her eyes softer than before.
“I’m not going to sit here and make excuses or tell you I only acted the way I did because I was worried about my father. I should have listened to her, trusted her, and never left her. Walking into that situation with my ex was a mistake. Not running to her the second I got back was a mistake. Not being here when she got hurt, when there was a chance I could have prevented it, was a mistake. But I love her. I need her. I’m miserable without her. And I’ll do whatever it takes to get her back. To show her I can be the man she deserves. I just want her back.”
I guzzled the rest of the water, and Addison pushed an unopened one to me. I didn’t want to go into more detail. It hurt enough to admit that much out loud, to say all the ways I’d failed Blue. Letting the silence stretch, I cracked the seal on the second bottle.
“What? You can’t all be speechless,” I said, pushing the leftover scones to the middle of the table.
“You’ve surprised us, is all, Broody. We, um, didn’t expect you to say that,” Addison said. Olivia and Jenna looked at each other and then Addison, something silently passing between them.
“Yes, well, it’s been brought to my attention that my communication skills sometimes lack. So here I am, all open and honest, sharing my feelings like a grown-up. And here’s what I’m thinking for Operation True Blue,” I said, rubbing my hands together.
“Operation True Blue?” Addison repeated, laughing with the words.
“You are so damn perfect for her. I can’t even stand it,” Olivia said, looking over at Jenna and smiling. “Broody. We are ready to help with Operation True Blue.”
I smiled so hard my face hurt. I felt like I could pull this off. Opening my phone, I turned it around, showing them the design I scribbled.
“Oh, wow. You really know her.”
“You can build this?”
“We love it, Broody.”
Rubbing my hands together, I dove in headfirst, explaining the idea and ready to win back my Blue.
- 30 -
NO SONG RESONATING
Annaleigh
Okay, guys, I’m going to escort the canine on a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood,” I said, trying not to notice how achingly bright the sun was, like it was mocking me in my self-pity.
“Well, look at you all dressed and awake. Um, awake, maybe. But don’t you think it’s about time you took a shower? Your last several meals are on your pajama top.” Bird said, looking up from the couch.
He had been working on line-editing a software manual between stealing kisses from Taylor, who was working at the dining room table. Those two were so freaking cute. They made me sick. I had to get out of this house and away from their love fest. I owed myself at least three more days of wallowing. Maybe four.
They had been tiptoeing around me, trying to give me space. It was maddening the way they looked at each other, passing glances and having conversations without words. It made me miss Max. Everything made me miss Max.
“Huh?” Taylor said, “Why don’t you just say you’re taking Baxter for a walk?”
As soon as Baxter heard the word walk, his tail went crazy, wagging so hard his entire body shook, and he ran to the front door and back again. On the third trip, he stopped and looked back at us with an annoyed expression, then ran back and forth again.
“That’s why, smartie,” I said, shaking my head and bending down to grab his leash. I groaned and sucked in a breath, shaking out my wrist. It felt better, but my whole body felt like I got hit by a Mack truck.
“Nope. Back to recovering. We’ll take the mutt after getting you some Tylenol,” Taylor said, standing up and walking to the window.
As if he heard them say mutt, Baxter tilted his head and plopped down by the door in anticipation, tail still wagging.
“Ugh, I guess. Thanks, guys.”
I sat down beside Bird and rested my head on his shoulder. Taylor handed me Ginger-Ale and medicine, and I swallowed it down.
“You ready to talk about this yet?”
Taylor picked up the glass and took it back to the kitchen before leveling me with a hard stare.
“No. How can I talk about something I don’t know the answer to?”
“But you love him, right?” Bird said, rubbing my leg.
I didn’t answer, just nodded, so he kept talking.
“Then there’s your answer. Seriously, babe. It’s obvious he loves you and you him, and he apologized several times. And do I have to remind you of the flowers and chocolate and letters he’s sent? Why haven’t you kicked Taylor and me to the curb so you two can have hot, dirty make-up sex? I mean, I know Maxie isn’t a power-bottom, but I’m still fairly confident he rocks your world.”
“Um, do I want to know what a power-bottom is?” I said, deflecting his logic.
“Not unless you’re ready to go down the rabbit hole of gay terms,” Taylor cut in with a wink.
“Yeah, okay. I’m going back to bed.”
“Maybe shower first,” Bird said.
I picked up a still full bottle of wine and turned to head up the stairs. Before they could stop me, I leveled them both with a glare, “It’s my pity party, and I’ll drink if I want to.”
They both raised their hands and stayed silent. I heard them whispering again as I trudged up the stairs, but I tuned the words out.
I left a trail of clothes to the bathroom and started the water in the tub, grabbing an empty glass from the nightstand.
“We’ve had our run, hearts sang their song. My words shun bright, you were my sun. But leaving all we built behind, has frozen my heart in despair’s time.”
Even my lyrics were miserable. Crumbled blue post-its littered the bedroom. I picked up a handful and stuck them to my vanity, smoothing out the edges and reading the words over again.
The bathroom door stayed cracked, and I poured an obscene amount of bubble bath in the tub and the same amount of wine in my glass. The liquid went down too easy, and I closed my eyes, trying to figure out what the hell I wanted.
“Where is she, Bird?” I heard Addison ask as she walked through the house. Something about her voice always carried. It was a combination of her fiery red hair and even fierier personality. Fiery? Fierier? I think those were real words.
I wasn’t ready to face her yet. There were several voices, and knew she had Olivia and Jenna with her. Great, a united front. I wasn’t ready to face any of them. My wallowing was far from over.
I sunk further into the tub and finished the last of my glass, reaching down to refill it and press it against my forehead.
“She’s doing a little self-care right now,” Taylor called after th
em.
I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and sunk lower, closing my eyes.
“Annaleigh! Are you drunk in the tub?” Jenna called before opening the door and walking in. Addison and Olivia followed, and I heard Bird yell about taking Baxter to the park because of the amount of estrogen invading the house.
“I’m not drunk, y’all,” I said, reaching down to show them the bottle. It wasn’t even a quarter gone. Or maybe there was a quarter left.
“That’s because Taylor replaced the liquor with apple juice two days ago!” Olivia said.
“I thought it tasted different. But I’m not in the mood to talk about anything yet.”
“We don’t care,” Jenna said. “This behavior is unhealthy. Your body is not going to heal like this. You need a proper balance of protein and carbs.”
“I have brownies too. Max brought them over yesterday. Or the day before. I don’t know.”
Sighing, I laid the glass on the edge of the tub and scooted up so I could see them all better. Addison was wearing her trademark power suit, green today. And Jenna still had her lab coat on. Olivia had flour on her shirt and her apron tied around her waist.
“Isn’t it the middle of the day? Why isn’t anyone working?” I reached for my drink again, but Addison picked it up and downed the whole thing without so much as a wince. Damn, that girl could throwback with the best of them. Wait, it was only apple juice.
“Yes, we all should be working. But it’s time to talk about this and figure out what you want.”
“Liv, if I knew what I wanted, I wouldn’t be here, would I?”
“Time to get out. Here,” Jenna said, handing me a fluffy towel.
The girls walked out, talking to me from the bathroom door. “We are going to make a list of all the pros and cons. Then, we are going to make an informed decision and clean this room.”
“So practical, Jenna. But I don’t think one of your lists is going to solve this.” I said, standing up and pulling the plug in the tub.
“This is worse than we thought,” I heard Olivia whisper.
“I know,” Addison echoed. “Has anyone heard her talk in Seinfeld quotes yet?”