A Flawed Scotsman

by McQueen, Hildie

  Shingles outside shops announcing what was sold there swung in the breeze as children raced in circles, playing games.

  “Seems all is well here,” Ruari said.

  “Aye, it does.” Esme motioned to the right. “We can leave the wagon there. The blacksmith will keep an eye on it.”

  Ruari assisted her down and she spoke to the blacksmith, introducing Ruari to the gruff man who managed a smile at her. They made their way to the village square.

  “I must see how everyone fares.” Esme hurried down the street, excited to see fresh faces after too many days at the keep.

  Several vendors greeted her with enthusiasm. Once again, people repeated that she’d been a hero for protecting the clan.

  At a stand where a woman sold beautifully embroidered linens, Esme lingered while picking several to purchase. The woman was quiet and gracious. “Thank ye, Lady Esme. This will help me feed my bairn and mother.”

  “Do ye not have a husband?”

  The woman took a shaky breath. “He was one of the guards killed. Now, Mother and I are left alone.”

  Esme studied the pretty woman who wiped at errant tears. “How old is yer bairn?”

  A smile stretched across the woman’s face. “He is almost a year.”

  “Would ye and yer mother be interested in moving to the keep? We are in need of a companion for Catriona. The work would be simple and ye can eat in the great room daily.”

  The woman’s face lit up. “I would very much appreciate it. I barely sell enough here to eat.”

  “What is yer name,” Esme asked.

  “Flora,” the woman replied. “Flora Hay.”

  “Very well then. I will instruct guards to fetch ye when ye are ready.” Esme looked to Ruari who remained a distance away and was inspecting other wares. “I am glad to have met ye.”

  “I as well.” Flora reached for Esme’s hand. “Thank ye.”

  “Do not thank me. Ye are doing me a great service. I was afraid that I would not find someone today and the need is dire.”

  “We shall be ready today then. Just allow me to pack these up and I will hurry to fetch my family.”

  As the woman hurried to do as she stated, Esme spoke to a guard who assured her that he and another would remain to assist Flora to travel to the keep.

  She went to stand by Ruari, who’d purchased a dirk from the blacksmith’s son. The small blade was beautifully crafted and fit in the palm of his hand. He handed it to her. “For ye.”

  Although it was a thoughtful gift, it reminded her of the need for protection that was necessary now. She smiled at him and sighed. “Ye are so kind to me.”

  They strolled to another stand, her arm through his and Ruari leaned close to whisper, “I wish to be more than kind to ye tonight.”

  A peal of laughter escaped her, making several people turn to look at them. Several people smiled toward them, approving of their light spirit.

  Just then, shouts rang out as a man tried desperately to control the horses that pulled a large wagon. The beasts had been spooked and did not heed his commands. The large farming horses’ hooves pounded the ground with force, sending vibrations as they headed in the direction of the square.

  People scrambled to move out of the way as Ruari ran straight toward the wagon.

  The surroundings lost their color, everything turned black and white and Esme lost her sense of balance. She fell backward, her newly purchased linens and dirk dropping to the ground beside her. Terror seized her as she grabbed the dirk and crawled to hide behind a water barrel. Her heart pounded and all she could hear were the echoes of screams and moans.

  Still, nothing came into focus. Had she gone blind? Esme tried to scream for Ruari, but her voice caught. The only sound that came out was like a hoarse moan. Closing her eyes, she curled into a tight ball and waited for whatever was going to happen to end.

  “Esme. Ye’re safe. Ye’re safe.” Ruari’s soothing voice permeated the fog in her mind and she began to sob as he pulled her up from the ground and held her up in his arms. “Ye’re safe,” he repeated again.

  Feeling stupid at her reaction, she pushed her face into the base of his neck, not wanting to see how people were reacting to her hysterics. “I am so foolish.”

  Someone neared and whispered soothing remarks. Then another voice said something, but she could not make out what they said, too busy trying to get her thundering heart and sobs to slow.

  “They wish ye well and say ye are very brave.” Ruari’s words made her cry harder until she could barely breathe.

  “Look at me,” Ruari said after placing her in the wagon and climbing up into it with her. “Esme,” he said in a stern voice. “Stop at once.”

  How could he speak to her in that manner? She glared up at him but stopped crying.

  With brows furrowed, he returned the look. “Ye cannot be upset over what happened. If ye wish to cry about being scared, I will not stop ye. But to cry because others see ye being scared, I will not allow it.”

  In truth, she had been upset over what others thought of her, instead of accepting that indescribable terror had gripped her.

  “Do not tell my mother about this. She will worry.”

  Ruari nodded and helped her down from the back of the wagon and onto the seat. Once she was settled, he went to speak to the blacksmith and to pay him a few coins for looking after the horse.

  Back straight, Esme sat with her eyes ahead until someone tugged at her skirts. A young, handsome boy held up her linens and the dirk. “Ye left these, Lady Esme.”

  Somehow she managed to smile and accepted the offering. “Thank ye. I did not realize that I had left even the dirk behind. I must have dropped it.”

  His cheeks turned pink as he met her gaze. “I wish ye well, Lady Esme.”

  Watching the slender young man walk away, she prayed that he and others that were not old enough to fight would be spared if ever the Mackenzie attacked.

  The ride back to her home was vastly different. Instead of noticing the beauty of the surroundings, she was vigilant and tense.

  Unlike her, Ruari seemed at ease. He handled the reins with ease, gently urging the horses forward, his attention ahead.

  Then she noticed something. There was a pattern to his movements. Every so often, he would look to one side of the road and then to the other. He scanned the surroundings but never once changed his mannerisms. Outwardly, he seemed calm and unbothered, but if one looked closely, he was on guard and prepared. He sat tall with his sword within reach, back straight and gaze moving.

  Seeming to sense her perusal, he looked at her for a long moment. “A warrior never leaves the battlefield without scars. Killing, even when defending yer home, leaves deep scarring that take longer to heal.”

  Esme swallowed and turned her attention to the road ahead. The truth of his statement fell over her.

  *

  The calmness and normality of everything struck Esme as they entered the courtyard. Everyone went on with their chores and duties, the familiar happenings continued despite death and war. She squeezed Ruari’s upper arm. “Remember not to mention what happened. My mother tends to worry, and she has been through a great deal.”

  Her husband nodded, his serious gaze traveling over her. “As have ye.”

  Leaning into him, allowing his strength to seep into her, she sighed. “And with ye at my side, it helps me feel stronger.”

  Once inside the great hall, she was greeted by the sight of her mother, Catriona’s mother and her aunt, sitting at a table chatting. Lady Fraser waved her over. “I was worried about ye going off to the village. Honestly, Esme, ye need to remain home where it is safe.” There was sadness in her mother’s face that made Esme want to hug her tightly.

  Instead, she smiled and spoke in a bright tone. “I felt a need for fresh air away from here. All is well in the village. I purchased these beautiful linens.” She held the cloths up ensuring to keep the dirt-stained side away from their gazes.

  He
r aunt studied the cloths. “Indeed, they are quite lovely. Who made them? Was it Flora?”

  “It was. And because she’s recently lost her husband and is struggling to feed her bairn and mother, I asked her to come to be a companion to Catriona.”

  “Splendid idea,” her aunt said.

  Catriona’s mother, although solemn, managed a warm look. “Ye have always been such a good friend to her.”

  “What if we plan a small celebration?” Esme’s aunt exclaimed. “We have yet to observe Esme’s marriage and there is the fact we won against that horrible man.”

  The last thing Esme wished to do at the moment was to host festivities, but she remained quiet to see what the other women would say.

  Her mother leaned her head to the side in thought. “A small one of course, aye. I do think it would be good for us at the moment. We can invite a few people, mostly family.” She smiled at Esme. “Ye do deserve a wedding celebration.”

  Everyone looked to Catriona’s mother, who replied, “It may be just what is needed. Some levity. I agree.”

  When Esme remained silent, they waited. She let out a breath and nodded. “Of course, I would love a wedding party.”

  “Splendid!” Her mother came to life, jumping to her feet and turning in a circle to inspect the great room.

  At the front of the room, her father, who’d been sitting with several council members in discussion, looked over at his wife with curiosity.

  Lady Fraser motioned for several maids who were cleaning to come over. “Sweep up all the rushes and fetch lads to scrub the tabletops.” When the maids hurried off to do as told, Lady Fraser then turned to the trio of women. “How many days will we need to be prepared?”

  Her aunt tapped her chin while considering. “Five.”

  To hold back a chuckle at the arbitrary number, Esme pressed her lips together and shrugged. “Sounds perfect.”

  “Very well,” her mother said and hesitated for a moment. She then came back to life and announced, “I will send someone to the village to fetch the seamstress. Esme requires a new gown.”

  As her mother and aunt hurried to the kitchen to give instructions for the meal that would be served, Esme sat with Catriona’s mother. “I will speak to Catriona now. Explain what is to happen. I do not wish her startled or scared.”

  “Thank ye.” The woman sighed. “I hope that, by then, she will be well enough to attend.”

  “Esme, what is going on?” Her father neared. “What has come over yer mother?”

  “She is planning a wedding celebration,” Esme replied with a smile. “There is nothing anyone can do or say to stop her.”

  He watched for a moment as additional maids walked in with brooms and buckets. “I am aware that once she sets things in motion, nothing will stop whatever it is she plans.” Laird Fraser shrugged and returned to the men who waited with obvious curiosity.

  Moments later, when Esme entered Catriona’s chamber, she found her friend curled up in her bed, facing the wall, her body shaking, heart-wrenching sobs filling the room.

  A red-faced maid rushed over. “She will not allow me near.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Music and song competed with conversations during the marriage festivities. The great room had come to life with flowering branches over the entrances and on surfaces. Ribbons had been fastened to bouquets that were placed atop the high board. Women wore adornments in their hair and had taken extra care with their appearances.

  Ruari, along with many guardsmen, had gone to the creek to bathe. Many of his men were anxious to meet single women from the village and other areas nearby.

  As much as he wanted to celebrate, a part of him wondered if it was an opportunity for Mackenzie to infiltrate. Not even a season at his new home and, already, he constantly thought of ways the enemy could cause harm. It wasn’t something he was used to. At Ross lands, he was part of a large and powerful clan that was rarely threatened. The last battles that had involved his clan, they had been the aggressors.

  This experience was completely different. The burden of keeping a wife and her family safe weighed heavily on his shoulders.

  “Is something wrong?” Esme asked as she studied him intently.

  He shook his head. “No. It is nice to see everyone’s enjoyment.”

  “Do ye dance?” His wife took his right hand with both of hers. “Dance with me.”

  The center of the room had been cleared for dancing and, currently, there were so many dancing that it would be hard to find a space. Ruari was glad for it as he’d only danced a few times in his lifetime. Only when around his family at Dun Airgid did he give in to prodding and join in reveling.

  Unlike him, Esme moved fluidly, her feet in perfect time with the tune. As she whirled, he held her waist, enjoying the feel of her body between his palms. In that moment, both allowed themselves the freedom to enjoy themselves. Neither thought past that night and what it would bring. It was, after all, a celebration of their union as husband and wife.

  Ruari nuzzled Esme’s neck when she collapsed against him, breathless. He took her hand and led her to the side of the room to escape outdoors.

  The cool air felt wonderful against their heated faces, but Ruari didn’t take time to relish it. Instead, he pulled his wife against him and took her mouth with his. Esme wrapped her arms around his neck and when he deepened the kiss and cupped her bottom, she moaned.

  “I want ye,” she whispered breathlessly. “Make me yers, here, now.”

  There wasn’t much privacy, but Ruari wasn’t about to argue. He walked her just a few feet away into the shadow of a small tree. Once there, he lifted her, and she wrapped her legs about him.

  Somehow, he managed to free himself while holding her against the keep wall. “Be still,” he said when Esme wiggled with impatience.

  Guiding his hardness, he thrust into her and she let out a loud gasp. “Oh.”

  While holding her in place, he moved his hips back and forth, sliding in and out of her as she nibbled at his neck. Her bites and nibbles made it hard to focus past the need to crest. Ruari wanted to stay alert to ensure they were not discovered. Anything more than what happened between them was forgotten when she flexed around him, her body constricting and loosening around his shaft.

  “Mmm,” Esme exclaimed. As she climaxed, she bit into his neck, the pain sending him to join her, his legs barely keeping them upright. Flashes of light formed as everything turned dark around them. It took Herculean effort to keep quiet as a second wave hit him so hard that, this time, he stumbled.

  “Do not fall,” Esme said as she attempted to put her legs down. But he held fast, still inside her.

  Once again, he pressed against her and took her mouth as the last shudders of release ebbed. If he lived another century, he’d never tire of the way his wife managed to take him to realms he’d never known before.

  Ruari broke the kiss and looked into her beautiful, brown eyes. “Ye are beautiful, Esme.”

  Her eyes widened and her lips curved, giving her the appearance of a satisfied kitten. “I…”

  “Is someone there?” a woman’s voice sounded.

  Ruari withdrew and pushed Esme to stand in front of him while he fastened his breeches.

  “It is Ruari and me, Aunt Dahlia,” Esme said while smoothing the front of her gown. “We needed…fresh air.”

  The woman came into view, her gaze moving from Esme to Ruari. “I see. It is quite…pleasant out tonight.” She looked up to the sky and Esme took the opportunity to run her hands over her hair.

  “Yer father is about to toast to yer marriage before sending ye both off to bed.” Esme’s aunt gave them a dubious look. “I presume the wedding night may have already begun.”

  “Ah,” Esme exclaimed and looked to Ruari who shrugged. “We were just…”

  The woman chuckled. “I have lived long enough to know when a couple has just had a moment of enjoyment. Come along. I suggest ye take a moment to run yer fingers through yer hair,
young man.” The woman gave Ruari a pointed look.

  Ruari couldn’t help but grin as he did as he was told. Indeed, his hair was quite disheveled. “Let me look at ye,” he said to Esme. Her cheeks had brightened to a hot pink. “Ye look perfect.”

  “I do?” She obviously didn’t believe him. “Goodness, what if everyone suspects when we walk inside?”

  “We have been married for more than a sennight. No one will be shocked that we enjoy each other.”

  With a huff, she whirled around. “I will enter first. Please wait a few beats before appearing.”

  “I did not know that I married such a pious young woman,” Ruari teased.

  Esme shot him a warning look over her shoulder and stalked toward the great room.

  As instructed, he waited a bit before entering. When he joined Esme and her brother, Keithen’s eyes were pinned to Ruari’s neck. He then turned to Esme. “Ye should not bite him so hard when joining.”

  Ruari bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing when Esme’s eyes grew wide and her face turned a startling shade of red.

  “Honestly, Keithen, could ye not have said that in private?” she hissed and then elbowed Ruari. “Cover it up.”

  “I am not sure where it is. How, exactly, am I to do it?”

  “Ugh!” She took his hand and pulled him toward the high board.

  Cups where pushed into his and Esme’s hands. The laird held his tankard up and spoke of marriage and vows.

  Everyone toasted and the musicians began to play again.

  “Thank ye, Father,” Esme said and hugged the patriarch.

  “I wish ye a life of happiness,” Laird Fraser replied and then turned to Ruari. Like Keithen, his gaze focused on Ruari’s neck. “Ye bit him quite hard.”

  Esme yanked at the neck of his tunic, but soon gave up. “Why can’t ye cover it?”

  *

  The next day, they woke entwined around each other. Bereft of clothing, Ruari slipped from the bed and washed his body from a basin thoughtfully left by maids along with drying cloths.

  His head swam when considering how much life had changed. He’d opted for a simple life, choosing to live in rooms he’d built near the stables and spending most of his days training horses.