Death By Rum Balls

by Colleen Mooney

  Just the idea of having a clear schedule by Friday afternoon helped me relax a little, and the idea of what to get Jiff as a Christmas gift popped into my head. It was perfect. If I finished the rum balls by ten o’clock, I could run into a store on the way to the office and grab a nice one. And, it would let him know that I was ready for our life to move forward together.

  I went back to rolling rum balls and thinking. My cell phone rang and I didn’t want to answer it, but I saw it was Dante. While caller ID indicated he was calling, another call from Hanky was coming in also.

  No, no, no. I had too much to do and getting involved this early on the last full day I had to get everything done in was not a good idea.

  The next thing was a text from Dante saying I know you can see this is me calling you. It’s important. Pick up the phone. Then it started ringing again. He must have called Hanky first if she was calling me too. I knew it had to do with Julia and the suspicious death of her brother. This call was not a heartfelt explanation on how much he was going to miss me on Christmas Eve.

  I managed to use my knuckle to answer it on the last ring before the call went to voice mail again, and since my hands were full of rum ball mix, I had to use speakerphone. “Yes?”

  “Am I on speakerphone? Take me off of it.”

  “Yes, you are and no, I can’t. No one is here but me, and I’m making rum balls so my hands are full of the mix,” I said.

  Dante plodded right into his business for calling me without mentioning how much he liked my rum balls or would miss them. “You asked me to look up something, and I have info on it.” Dante sounded annoyed with me.

  “You could have left it on voice mail if I’m keeping you from something,” I said.

  “I’ve got something on those names you gave me to run. Stay away from those two. They’re bad news. LB Sutton has a laundry list of aliases and addresses in almost every state. He’s a hustler and hustles women out of money or expensive jewelry. No telling how many have had money stolen by him because many are too embarrassed to come forward,” Dante said.

  “Any photos of him?” I asked.

  “No, he seems to move on rather fast. His name pops up from Texas to Colorado on cases where he’s wanted for questioning,” he said.

  “Colorado?” I asked.

  “Talk to Hanky, she’s got it all. I’m due back in this conference,” he said, and I heard the loudspeaker making the announcement to return to your seat. “Look, I know you’re upset over me not calling over the last couple of weeks, and….”

  “I’m not upset.” I said, but my rum balls were being rolled smaller and smaller. I thought if I squeezed them any tighter they would turn into diamonds.

  “Hanky said you mentioned it was the first Christmas we wouldn’t spend at my parents’ home. I hadn’t realized that, but the promotion came late and this conference was full, so it made it hard to get airfare back in time…” he said and I cut him off again.

  “It is what it is. You and Hanky have more conversations about relationships, ours included, than you and I ever had. You should talk to Hanky about this.” I didn’t want to get into it over the phone, and I was sorry I had said that. I stopped rolling the rum balls. I grabbed the bottle and took a swallow of 180 proof Jamaican rum. My eyes starting running water and I thought I might self-combust.

  There was a long pause, mainly because I was still feeling the burn from the rum, and an involuntary cough helped clear my throat.

  “I don’t know what to say,” Dante mumbled.

  I cleared my throat again and discovered I could still speak. “Dante, you never know what to say. I’ve hung onto your every unspoken word for years. This Christmas has made me realize that I will always be waiting for you to say the right thing, to ask the right thing, to say something, anything that involves you and me. Merry Christmas, Dante. I’ll drop some rum balls off at your parents’ house.”

  I hung up without saying goodbye.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I thought about calling Frank to see if Donna Twilight or Cherie, whatever her name is, was ever released from the hospital and returned to the guesthouse. I decided to just call the hospital myself.

  When I asked to be transferred to her room I was put on hold. The hospital operator came back a few minutes later and said there was no one named Donna Richard admitted. I then asked if maybe it was under her maiden name of Donna or Cherie Sassone.

  Again, she put me on hold, which should be re-named the Ignore Button, since I often feel that’s what is happening.

  She returned and said no one with either name had been admitted or released. I asked if she could look her up by date of admission or the reason why she was brought in. She must have been new or in the holiday spirit because normally no one will give out that information on a patient over the phone. I was put on hold again for a few minutes and when she returned she said, “We had a patient brought into the emergency unit on Friday night believed to have ingested a poison. Would that be her?”

  “Yes, I think it is,” I said.

  “She was released earlier today and her husband checked her out,” the operator said.

  “Her husband? He was also poisoned, but….” I stopped myself. “That’s right. She was recently married, just two weeks ago. I guess she used his name.”

  “She must have to check out. She checked in under Donna Richard and checked out as Donna Sutton.”

  I called Hanky to see if she knew what was going on and if she knew about the interesting name Donna was now using.

  “Your friend, the exotic dancer, she’s been arrested for several crimes like hustling men for money and lewd behavior. All misdemeanors. No convictions,” Hanky said.

  “Arrested for prostitution?” I asked.

  “No. She hustles them, acting like she’s going with them because she’s interested. Meets most of them speed dating. She never talks money or a service. Kinda smart if you think about it. Keeps a prostitution arrest out of it. Then she slips them something in their drink, takes their money, and leaves a note with a big kiss on it saying what a great time she had, hope she sees him again the next time he travels through,” Hanky said.

  “Looks and sounds consensual,” I said.

  “Right,” Hanky said. “And I bet she takes a photo of him passed out with the note so if she gets charged, the wife will see what hubby’s been up to. That would keep most of them from wanting to file charges.”

  “Houston PD thinks she has an accomplice. They all happened at a string of bars from here to Texas—well actually to Houma, not New Orleans—that some group owns. They are in LLCs and have other LLCs buy and sell them, so it’s hard to find out who actually owns them.”

  “It’s LB,” I said. “The guy who owns them is going to be LB.”

  “I don’t know. Dante ran LB’s name and there’s no warrants on him. He seems to be wanted for questioning over missing jewelry in California and Colorado.” Hanky said. “Those bars from here to Houston are honky tonks, exotic dancer-type bars, the likes of which Donna Twilight would work in. Has LB tried to hustle Julia or ask for money yet?”

  “No,” I said. “But I’d like to know how he bought her that bracelet. Now it makes sense why LB was so attentive to Donna in the hospital. She might be his cash cow on the speed dating circuit and a victim in all this too.”

  “Doubt that. Donna Twilight has made the rounds from Houma to Houston. She’s more of a willing participant than a victim. Taylor and I need to find LB to question him again. He checked out of the Fairmont and Donna Twilight checked out of University Hospital,” she said.

  “Did you know she used LB’s last name to check out of the hospital?” I asked.

  “Yes and we’re looking into that. I’m hoping she’s a bigamist. Then we have something else to arrest her for if she was married to LB when she married Julia’s brother,” Hanky said. “Donna doesn’t strike me as the sharpest tool in the shed. A hustler—yes, the brain trust—no.”

  “Che
ck at Julia’s. I bet they went there to stay,” I said. “LB asked Julia if Donna could stay for a week or two until Larry was buried. See. He’s looking out for Donna. I have to drop off a Christmas gift to Julia and Frank. Let me ask if either of them knows where they are. I’ll call you or text you if I find out anything.”

  “I hope you’re not bringing them rum balls,” Hanky said.

  “No, but it’s not a bad idea to give them to LB and Donna,” I laughed. “Julia might not find it amusing. I have Kringles for them.” I said and hung up. I was annoyed with myself when I realized I didn’t say goodbye. It didn’t matter, Hanky would never notice. Besides, I had a tin of rum balls for Hanky and Taylor. A little homicide humor for the holidays.

  When I pulled up in front of Julia’s mansion, a car was in the drive with an insurance logo for Lloyds’s of London on it. I sat in my car and called the bed and breakfast from my cell phone. Frank answered and he sounded hysterical.

  “Please come here now,” Frank begged.

  “I’m sitting out front,” I said.

  “Then please get in here,” he said. “Now.”

  “I have to get to work. Pa-le-e-e-e-ze, Frank,” I begged. “Can you run out and get this Kringle for you and Julia?”

  “No. You need to come in.” Frank was sniffling now and the waterworks were going to start. Did I even want to know what was going on?

  “Frank, is LB there? Have you or Julia heard from LB and Donna Twilight?”

  “He’s supposed to be here now, but he’s late,” Frank said. “There are two people here from the insurance company about Julia’s bracelet. They’re asking me all kinds of questions, and she’s not home. They think I stole it. It’s missing. Her bracelet is missing,” Frank said between sobs. “And I’m going to be arrested.”

  “Please calm down, Frank. I need you to do something. This will all clear up soon,” I said.

  “What?” Frank stopped to blow his nose in what I could only assume was one of his man hankies. “What do you want me to do?”

  “Don’t let them leave, but see if they will move their car before LB gets there. Ask them to park so you can’t see the insurance logo. When Hanky or Detective Taylor calls, put them through to one of the insurance guys. Okay?” I said.

  “Why?” Frank was sniffling louder.

  “Just do it, Frank. You will not be arrested, and it will all work out if you do as I tell you,” I said and hung up. Uh oh, I did it again. I didn’t say goodbye.

  “I called Hanky’s cell and it went to voice mail. I tried Taylor’s and he answered. I asked him if they found LB and Donna yet, and he said no. I said I thought they would be visiting Julia soon so if he wanted to question them, that might be a good time. I also told him about the insurance guys at the bed and breakfast interrogating Frank and they would be questioning Julia as soon as she got home. I filled him in on what I suspected of LB and Donna.

  “Can you wait there until they show up?” Taylor asked me.

  “Don’t you guys have drones or something you can send over here to hang out and watch to see when LB shows?”

  “Brandy, Brandy Alexander.” Taylor was calling me by my first name twice since the night of the party. “You watch way too many TV cop shows,” he said.

  “Even kids have them now,” I said.

  “That’s because kids have parents who can afford to buy them expensive things. NOPD barely has the money to pay us,” he said.

  “I’ll wait. But you are going to give me a police escort, with flashing lights and sirens, so I can get around the rest of today in this traffic in order for me to finish my Christmas shopping,” I said.

  Taylor was laughing.

  “I’m not joking,” I said with all the dread in my voice I heard my mother use when we were kids.

  “I’ll escort you myself if this plays out like we anticipate,” Taylor said and hung up.

  Great, another one in need of phone etiquette training.

  I started to text Julia to tell her to get home ASAP. I didn’t really want to talk to her yet. None of this was going to make her happy. Before I hit send, she drove up the driveway going at least 50 mph and parked in the back where her car wasn’t visible from the street.

  I was parked out front and waited for LB to show up. I checked messages and sent some voice mails in case they came up on me without me noticing. I’d want to look like I was stuck in my car on the phone. I was parked on Canal Street at the corner of Julia’s bed and breakfast facing the river. After a few minutes, Hanky and Taylor drove by me headed lake bound on the other side of Canal. In my rearview mirror I saw them turn right at the next corner. They had to make two more right turns at the next corners because then I saw them drive up the side street heading back to Canal Street. They parked on the other side of Canal Street at the corner. They were looking straight at Julia’s front door and at me. They pulled in behind a car so no one would notice them. I got a text from Hanky that said, In position. Hope you are right.

  We didn’t wait long. LB drove up into Julia’s side driveway and Donna Twilight was with him. I pulled in behind him.

  When LB and Donna got out of the rental car, I noticed she had on new clothes and was toting two Saks Fifth Avenue shopping bags from Canal Place filled to the brim. Donna’s clothing choices seem to have a constant theme, and no matter what she chose, it was skintight. Thank God they didn’t make her wear that red jumpsuit home she had on the night of the party. Today she had on black stretch pants and a red sweater that dipped down her back to the waist. It, too, was body hugging.

  “Hey, Brandy, you’re blocking me in,” LB said as soon as I opened my car door.

  “Hey LB. Donna. I’m only running in to drop these off. I’m not staying,” I said as I got out of the car holding two boxes of Kringles. “You both have to have a slice of this if you’ve never had Kringles. You are going to love me forever after you try one.”

  The three of us walked up the front steps and Julia answered the door. LB kept looking back over his shoulder at my car blocking him in.

  “I’ll be out of here in a flash,” I said to him.

  Julia opened the front door. “Where’s Frank?” I asked her after we all did the cheek-to-cheek kiss exchange.

  “Probably in the kitchen. He called me to say there’s someone here to see me, so I asked him to have them wait in the double parlor,” she said. “Are those Kringles? You know I love those, and you are gonna make me get fat.” She turned to Donna and said, “Donna, you and I can only have a small piece. We single girls need to watch our figures.” She turned back to me and said, “Brandy, would you take those to the kitchen for me please and give them to Frank.”

  Oh boy, was Julia laying it on thick. If I didn’t know better, I would have made Julia and Donna out as BFFs.

  “I’ll just help Donna upstairs,” LB said, looking at Julia in an odd way. “Julie, I told her you said it’s all right if she stays here a few days, right baby?”

  “Of course,” Julia said. The way she was smiling, I imagined Julia was mentally licking her lips waiting to eat LB alive. “Go on, help Donna. I’ll be in here a few more minutes and then I’ll come up and see if she needs anything.”

  LB was about to help Donna upstairs even though she didn’t look like she needed it. She sprinted up that flight of steps ahead of him with those two large shopping bags from Saks Fifth Avenue like it was an Olympic event. As soon as LB and Donna were upstairs, I texted Hanky and Taylor that it was clear to come in.

  I went to find Frank to give him the Kringles.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Frank when I got to the kitchen. “What set this in motion?”

  Frank was fanning himself with one hand while he said, “I called the insurance company like she asked me to, and the next thing I know, these two are here wanting to see the bracelet she wants added to the insurance policy. When I went to look for it, it’s not in her jewelry box or the safe. They said from the photo I sent them, it matched a police report ind
icating it was stolen property.”

  “Relax, Frank,” I said. “Everything is going to work out.”

  “If she didn’t come home when she did, those two guys would have hauled me off in handcuffs and none of you would have ever seen or heard from me again,” Frank wailed.

  “This isn’t China where you get shanghaied. The insurance people would have returned to ask Julia where the bracelet was,” I said. “They want to find the bracelet so they don’t have to pay the claim or they can recover what they paid. They will get the police involved if an arrest needs to be made.”

  I went back to where Julia waited at the front door for Hanky and Taylor.

  A man and a woman dressed in dark business suits were standing in the double parlor. I opened the front doors to let Hanky and Taylor walk in without knocking.

  Detective Taylor asked Julia, “Can you lock everything from this security panel here by the front door? Windows, front doors, back door?”

  “Yes, and I already did. That sucker isn’t going anywhere except with you.”

  Julia and I waited in the center hall while the police said they needed to talk to the insurance guys.

  “What do you know?” I asked.

  “I know this bracelet he gave me was one he stole from a woman he dated or was seeing in California. Her late husband had given it to her but he had insured it. The insurance company has been tracking him for over a year,” she said. “Every time they got close, he moved or the woman he gave it to didn’t realize it was missing for a few days. The lucky thing is the first woman had insured it or there would be no end to this hustle. I feel so stupid.”

  “Why, because some professional hustler said and did things to make you like him?” I asked. “How would you know; how would anybody? They know how to exploit our feelings within seconds of talking to us. This is on him, not you.”

  “I had asked Frank to call my insurance company and add the bracelet to the jewelry rider. I had him send a photo of it I took with my cell phone. That sent up a red flag and those two showed up here,” she said, nodding to the two insurance people.