“I feel the same way,” I say boldly. I want to tell him how I find excuses to look at him, justify those stolen glances by any means necessary.
Now, we boldly memorize each other like we’ve never been able to before.
I lick my dry lips and carry on. “Pretend you went back to your office. Pretend you did the right thing. Wh-what would you be doing?” I ask.
If his eyes burned before they were now practically illuminated as understanding settles in. His nostrils flare and a switch is flipped. The muscles of his jaw clench tight as he walks slowly to the other office chair. He sits down and the wheels are visibly churning behind those stormy eyes.
We can’t touch. We can’t risk it. But could we do this?
He leans back and spreads his knees out wide. “I’d pretend to work for a few hours. Try not to think of you. Try not to find excuses to come talk to you.”
I swallow and nod.
He holds my gaze. “Then I’d probably go home and think of you more.”
My skin is pure nerves; the air coming on could send me over the edge with its caress. I’ve passed a point of no return. It’s an understanding that there’s no more game playing, no more pretending that this thing between us isn’t a wild animal demanding to be fed.
“I think of you too. Almost every night,” I say on a whisper.
He hears me. His body goes rigid. We sit facing each other with only the desk to separate us. He bends forward, elbows on his knees, high color in his cheeks. His focus never leaves my face. “Tell me what you think about.”
A soft breath escapes out of me.
“I think about this actually.” My heart beats wildly with so many emotions. These are thoughts I’ve never shared. Thoughts that have only ever lived in my imagination. I trust him to see the depths of my wanting. “I think about you coming into my office. Locking the door.”
My legs cross and I squeeze them tightly as lust shoots through me.
He swallows. “And then what?”
“I-I imagine you coming to me. You’re looking at me like that, actually,” I admit.
His nostrils flare and he sucks in his lips.
“You tell me …” I stop. I can’t say it. It’s too much. My deepest fantasies. Heat burns my cheeks. I don’t know if this is normal, if this is how people learn each other.
And yet somehow, as always, he understands what I need, my hesitations. He continues for me, “I tell you I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I nod once.
He goes on. “I tell you that I dream about tasting you. I imagine all the different ways I want to bring you pleasure. I tell you that I can’t take it anymore.”
“Yes,” I whisper.
One of the legs he’s leaning on bounces up and down, causing him to shake. I dig my nails into my palms. I fight so hard to keep it together.
“You grab me,” I say. “You move the hair off my neck and kiss me.”
“I inhale you. You smell amazing. My lips graze the skin of your neck.”
“You give me goosebumps,” I say as actual chills spread down my arms and harden my nipples. I let the shawl drop back and arch my back. I watch him as his gaze takes in the sight.
His jaw clenches before he says, “I watch the tiny bumps spread over your skin in awe that I can do that to you.”
“You do so much more than that to me,” I say.
“Jesus,” he swears and turns his head away. “Julia. If you knew—if you only know what I think about.”
“I want to know. Please. If we can’t … not really … then I want to hear. I want to be able to think about it later.”
His gaze snaps back to me. “I want to kiss you so hard you gasp out my name. I want to suck on your tongue and lips until you can’t breathe. I want you to feel how hard you make me.”
I make a sound between a moan and a gasp. My thighs are squeezing and releasing. It’s impossible to sit still when he talks to me like this, when he makes love to me with his words.
He leans back and adjusts himself with a gruff groan. The action can no longer hide the truth of what he feels. When I look up again, he knows where I’ve been looking. His eyes burn as his hand lowers to stroke himself over his pants as I watch.
I’m in a heady bold haze as I take my hand and brush it against my chest. “I dream about you touching me, playing with me. Here.” I stop my hand to squeeze my nipple.
“Fuck,” he swears. His hand brushes himself again. “I want you so fucking bad, Julia. I want to see every inch of you. Touch every inch of your sexy body.”
I’m drowning in my desire now. My whole body feels heavy and outside of my control. I spread my legs wide. The knee-length skirt slides up my thighs and I pretend it’s his hands pushing it up. He watches the action under my desk. I run a hand from my knee to my thigh and back. He leans back and spreads his legs, biting his lip hard enough the area around his teeth is white. He flicks open the top button of his pants before slipping his hand in. A quiet gasp of relief escapes as he strokes himself fully.
I moan at the sight of this beautiful man sprawled in my office, touching himself. It’s the most erotic sight straight out of my dirtiest fantasies. My fingers stray to the elastic of my underwear. I graze over the wet patch and sparks shoot through me. My hand is glowing. I’m on fire. My vision goes white.
“Shit,” I say and pull my hand back. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m so on edge. I can’t control myself around him. This is too risky. My gaze shoots back to Nathaniel. “Are you okay?” I ask, panting.
His mouth is open, eyes wide. Unable to speak.
“Nathaniel?” Worry starts to chill the desire thrumming through me. “Are you okay?”
“You’re glowing,” he says, sitting up.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“You’re beautiful.” His eyes are so wide, the white light emanating from me is reflected back in them. “You look like a goddess.”
Just like that, the worry dissolves back into lust. My insides clench as he looks at me like I’m actually beautiful.
“Have you ever made yourself come, Julia?” he asks.
I nod. My whole body is trembling.
“Let me see,” he demands. He shrugs out of his blazer; his crisp white button-up is sculpted to his tense, muscular body. Slowly, tortuously, he unsnaps his cuffs, rolling up one sleeve and then the other to reveal his masculine forearms. I swallow with effort at the mesmerizing action. His biceps flex as he clenches and releases his fists in eager anticipation. “I want to see you.”
I swallow and nod. I’ve gotten myself off before and it’s been fine. But I’ve never done it in front of somebody else. Never at work. It’s so dirty. I should feel wrong, but I don’t. I feel on fire.
“I need to see you come, Julia.”
He says it. Just like that. Like he’s asking for a metric report.
God, when he says my name like that … My hand slides back to where I’m soaking wet. I tease myself over the damp fabric and pretend it’s his hand.
“Yes,” he hisses.
I focus on him, where he strokes himself over his briefs. He’s straining hard to be free. That evidence of desire has me clenching. I slip a finger under the fabric of my panties.
“You’re so wet, aren’t you?”
I pull the fabric to the side to show how soaking and swollen I am for him. My other hand massages my breasts over my bra and shirt. It’s not enough, but it works for now. It’s his hand teasing and pulling. It’s his hands that drive me forward.
“Fuck. You’re so sexy.” Tendons in his neck strain as his hand moves faster. It’s not enough for him either. He pulls himself free with a sigh of relief. He’s rock hard, almost angrily so. His thumb smears a bead of moisture down the length of him.
I gasp out at the beautiful sight and dirty words.
His legs spread wider as his hand strokes faster, shifting his hips up like he can’t sit still. “Pretend I’m under your desk. My hands cup and squeeze
your ass as I bring you to my mouth.”
A sound comes out of my mouth I can’t translate, but I’m past caring.
“I start slow, licking all around, teasing. That’s my tongue exploring and tasting you.”
My head drops back and my eyes shut as I imagine exactly that. It’s his tongue dipping in and out of me.
“You taste so good.”
“Nathaniel.” I move faster and faster. It’s not enough; it’s not him.
“I can’t wait to taste you.”
“Oh my God,” I gasp. My heels scramble for purchase as the chair slides back against the wall. He can see all of me. It’s so dirty and good.
“Come, Julia, let go.”
“I—”
“Let go. I need to see it.” It’s a gruff demand.
“Nathaniel. I—”
I open my eyes and his hand flies over his cock.
He finds my gaze, forcing me to keep my eyes open when he says, “I can’t wait to curl my finger into you while I suck on your clit.”
It’s too much. This man, so professional and decent, telling me his dirtiest thoughts. I can’t take it. I fall over the edge, tensing so my hips rise out of the chair. I try to hold on as I clamp around my own fingers. I hold in a scream, but only barely.
“Fuck. You’re so fucking hot,” I hear him say as I come back to my body.
I’m panting and damp when I open my eyes. My skin is glowing but I didn’t go off, not in the dangerous way.
He’s jerking himself so hard and fast I think it must hurt. I watch in wonder, my body coming off its high. He grabs a tissue from my desk and covers himself just as he cries out, “Fuu—”
We sit breathing heavily, just smiling shyly at each other. Eventually we straighten ourselves and clean up.
“Well,” I say. “That was a first for me. Obviously.”
He chuckles. “Me too. Julia, I need—”
A frantic knock breaks him off. “Julia? Are you still in? Have you seen Nathaniel?” It’s Kate.
Reality crashes into us. We straighten at once and look around the office for evidence of what we just did. Frantic. Rushing.
I sway when I stand too fast to go to the door. I glance to him and mouth, “Am I okay?” gesturing to my state of appearance. He nods and smooths a shaking hand through his hair.
On impulse I quickly peck him on the cheek. He blinks a dumfounded little smile and I can’t help but grin.
But then I open the door and my heart falls.
“Something happened to the machine,” Kate says, face pale, as soon as I open the door.
I open the door wider so Kate can see Nathaniel behind me. Her brows furrow for a flash, then she says to him, “We need you at the lab.”
Nathaniel and I share a worried look before he races down the hall to the lab.
Once he’s gone, I can’t help but feel the first tinges of regret. Things are happening outside our control. I still have to leave. This is all we could ever have and it would never be enough.
I lean back against the door and close my eyes, taking a steady breath.
Not much longer, little jewel.
23
Nathaniel
The lab is in ruins. It looks like someone came in with a baseball bat and pulled an Office Space on hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment. Tiny pieces of glass and electronics litter the floor. It’s impossible to guess how much time this damage will set us back. I’m going to have to go to Ken with the news. What sort of insurance do we have? I can only assume the contract will have to be suspended. I will go to the customer and explain everything. I will ensure that my team has job security. This is not their fault. This is my fault.
I feel like the walls are closing around me. I can’t seem to take a full breath.
“Why would anybody do this?” Kate picks up a piece of equipment that costs as much as a small car and looks at the broken pieces of wire and circuit board hanging off it. She’s pale and her hands shake.
It takes a minute for me to understand. This was done intentionally. This was not because of what Julia and I just did. Somebody came in here and destroyed our testing equipment.
Fury steals all the words from me.
Jared constantly chews his lip ring, his fists flexing as he takes in the damage. “Nobody even knows what we’re doing here.”
He meets my gaze and just for a second I see the doubt in his eyes. Is he lining up dates that correlate with Julia’s arrival? Is he thinking the worst about our association? I shake my head once to abolish the idea. He sighs with a nod before he looks away, but I know he believes me. Because that’s what my team always does. They follow me and trust me.
Julia isn’t here, and for once, I’m relieved. After what we just did, Jared’s gaze is enough to send me into a guilty tailspin. I can’t be at the lab all the time, but if I hadn’t been with Julia, could I have stopped this?
Who had I turned into these last few weeks? She’s done her best to keep things as professional as possible. Today was not her fault either. I should have just stayed away. Even though rationally I know that I’m not directly responsible for the destruction, it is one hundred percent because of me. The longer I sit and stare, the clearer it becomes. The warning from my father only a few hours ago and now this. This is because of him.
Even if I had the building watched twenty-four hours a day my father would have found another way. I don’t voice my suspicions. What good would it do? The helpless frustration gathers in my chest like a building storm. I don’t know how he managed to bypass the security precautions but when you own a majority of the town, things happen for you. Doors literally open wherever you go.
“I’ll be right back.” My anger hangs by a thread.
Kate and Jared have started trying to clean up but must notice I’m not all right.
“Okay, Big Cheese,” Kate says. “Take five. We got this.”
“Whatever happens, we can handle it.” Jared fist bumps me before I walk out without looking back.
I know he meant it to make me feel better but it is just another reminder that this team of super-geniuses has put their careers and livelihoods on the line for me time after time. They could be working with the biggest innovative companies in the world and they chose to stay here. It makes no sense. I don’t deserve this loyalty. This is so un-fucking-fair.
I head west out of our building. There is a decent amount of open space that is still considered part of the labs before the mountain gets too steep. It’s miles of open area that’ll be a perfect place to go scream until I’m hoarse.
“Nathaniel, wait!” Julia jogs out of the building after me.
“If I stop now I might lose my cool.”
“Well, then I’m coming with you. You can freak out with company.”
I grunt but she keeps pace with me as I walk quickly, my strides twice as long and she half-jogs to keep up.
“Was it bad?” she asks hesitantly.
“Yes.”
“I’m so sorry. Is any of the equipment salvageable?”
“Not sure.”
“There has to be insurance, right? And the culpability of the security team? They dropped the ball by letting whoever it was in.”
“I know who it was,” I say. I’m fairly breathless where she is able to chat nervously trying to comfort me and keep up.
“Who?”
“My dad.”
She comes to a stop and disappears out of my periphery. “Wait. What?”
She jogs to catch up.
I stop because suddenly my breaths come so fast that I think I might be dying. I need to tell somebody. She has told me everything about her, and at this point, I need to do the same. I’m tired of carrying this all alone. I’m tired of trying to keep it together for everyone.
“My dad. Mr. William Moore himself,” I say.
Her gaze flicks all around us. We are in the middle of nowhere now. The nearest barracks are a good half mile away. “Your dad is the ‘Where the
re’s a Will, there’s a way’ guy?” She frowns at the ground. “I hate those signs,” she says with vehemence and then instantly covers her mouth. “Sorry.”
It’s enough to get me to crack a smile and huff a little laugh. “Me too.”
“Shit. Your dad.” She frowns, her gaze drifting to the side, probably putting pieces together. “Why would he do this?”
My breath comes out long and slow. “Because I’m trying to take his son away.”
“Lincoln.” It comes out in a disbelieving whisper.
The muscles in my jaw tick as I clench my teeth.
She steps forward and lowers her chin. “I knew he stayed with you. I knew you were close. I guess I just assumed …” She tucks her hands tight around her body. “Nathaniel. Why do you want full custody of Lincoln?”
“Will beats him,” I say flatly. I’m tired of hiding his violence from the world. I will tell everybody. My career be damned.
“No,” she gasps.
“I’ve been trying to get custody for years. I tried once before and it almost ruined my entire career. He slandered me. I lost everything. If it weren’t for Kate and Jared and a few patents, I don’t know where I’d be now.”
“So he’s just destroying years of hard work because he wants to keep Lincoln? Or is this a power thing? It always is with guys like that.” She mumbles the last part to herself.
“He thinks I’ll share his dirty little secrets. I don’t even care about what he did to me, you know? I just want Lincoln to be safe, to not have to live in fear all the time. To never know what sort of mood he might be in or if this will be the night he goes off.”
Her fists ball at her sides as my words pour out.
When I stop myself, she asks, “Nathaniel. Did he hurt you? When you lived with him?”
I hold her gaze but don’t respond. It’s a given.
“That sick, twisted—” She stops and begins to pace. “He can’t get away with this.”
“He owns half the town. More. Trust me. I’ve been battling him for so long I’ve seen the power he yields.”
“All this destruction?” she asks. “Ruining hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment just to send you a message?”
The Untouched: THE UNSEEN SERIES, #2 Page 18