“Yes. This is his MO. He sees me having success or getting too close to Lincoln and he steps in. Lincoln has been staying with me more and more and he doesn’t like it.”
“This is such bullshit! He can’t just get away with this.”
All at once, white lights radiates from within her. Like a bright spotlight flicked on internally.
Her need for justice is heartwarming but her getting upset like this isn’t going to help. I reach toward her, but as always, she steps back with a shake of her head.
“Julia. I’ve dealt with him my whole life. I’ll figure this out.”
“No. No it’s not okay.” She presses her hands to her forehead and stumbles back. “He beats children. He’s a monster. And you won’t figure it out.” When I frown she adds, “We will. This is no longer your burden to carry alone. You accepted me as this—” She gestures down to her body and only seems to then notice that she is radiating like I’ve never seen.
The light grows brighter and the heat hits me.
“Julia.” I keep my voice light but glance around to make sure there isn’t anybody nearby.
She looks down at her hands. “Shit. Shit. I’m too upset!”
Her voice sounds far away and almost wavy as the lines around her blurs like a mirage on a hot day.
“I’m here. Try to steady your breath,” I say, stepping forward. When I do, she seems to register me again and her face twists in confusion.
“I’m so angry,” she cries out, her voice a crackling fire.
“I’m here. It’s okay. I’m here.” I reach for her hand but she’s still herself enough to pull back.
“It’s never felt like this.” She turns her head toward me. Her eyes are completely whited out. “I could stop him.”
I’ve never seen here like this either. The other times in the lab all seem so tame compared to the unfettered rage pouring out of her.
“Men like that. They think they can get away with anything.” Heat flows off her in waves. Sparks fly. I stomp out one that lands on a dry patch of grass.
For the first time, I start to worry that she might hurt me by mistake. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she did. I have to calm her down.
“Think of the tests. Focus the energy if you can,” I say, but she doesn’t seem to hear.
She’s too far gone in her own torment.
The light is so bright I can’t look at her directly anymore. The force of whatever she is feeling is actually levitating her off the ground. Or at least I think she is. She burns too bright to see clearly. Meanwhile, I’m starting to feel weird. Weird but good. I sort of like it.
I stumble toward her. Out of options.
“Julia,” I whisper, her name like a prayer. I grab for her. I throw out my arms and hold on tight.
“No!” She screams before the world goes totally white.
* * *
Julia
My scream cuts off suddenly.
The world which was whited out only a moment ago returns to its normal color. Nathaniel is on his back at my feet.
“Oh god!” I killed him.
I drop to my knees and press my hands to his neck and chest. My hands shake and every single fear I have ever had culminates in this moment. I can’t lose him. I cannot lose him. His pulses is strong and my breath whooshes out.
“Oh, thank God,” I moan. “Nathaniel.” I shake him gently, pressing fingertips to his forehead and cheeks.
He groans and it’s music to my ears. His moan is long and low and borderline … sensual?
I scan his body and find … oh my!
I bring my focus back to his face and a blush burns my cheeks. It’s not that I haven’t seen him in this state before. Not long ago in my office, to be exact. I just wasn’t expecting to see it here and now after I thought I just killed him.
“Julia?” He reaches for my cheek and strokes it with his thumb. I don’t pull back this time. The worst has already happened.
I went off on him. Bigger and more ragey than I have ever gone off before and he is … fine?
“You’re okay. Are you okay?” I ask in utter disbelief.
I have never lost control like that. I have never felt the anger shoot over me in such an insane and instant moment. And yet Nathaniel isn’t burnt to a crisp.
I mean, yay! But also, what the hell is going on?
“I’m good.” He drags out the syllables of “good” too long.
“Uh, yes. I can clearly see that you’re feeling very good,” I say, focusing on his face. Which is the only appropriate place to look right now.
He moans again and pulls me on top of him.
“Oof.” I stumble up onto my hands but I’m still pressed fully across him.
“So nice. So smelly good.” He nuzzles his nose into my hair.
“So just to be clear, you are in no physical pain?” I grunt as I try to roll off him, but he won’t give even an inch.
He hefts me up higher and grinds his erection into me. “Just the good kind.”
“Oh Lord.” I manage to awkwardly roll off him.
He sits up, his legs still sprawled out in front and a goofy punch-drunk grin on his face.
“Well, this is an unexpected development,” I say mostly to myself. He’s not listening. He’s too busy watching my breasts under my shirt.
Meanwhile, he is still gently pawing at me. I’m happy he’s fine. I haven’t felt fear like I did when he crumbled to the ground before me, but boy am I confused.
“Did it hurt?” I ask.
“When you fell from heaven?” he mumbles and then chuckles to himself.
“No. What is wrong with you? Did it hurt when I blasted you.”
He shakes his head and then has to steady himself. “No. It felt good.” Again, he drags out the word and I can’t but help laugh at his drunken state. I’m facing a bit of a post-adrenaline crash myself. This day has been nothing but ups and downs and the ridiculousness of it all hits me all at once.
I laugh maniacally. Apparently, I have super horny powers. Sure. I must have done this to him, but I have no idea how. I was so mad, full of rage like I’d never felt. But then distantly I was aware of Nathaniel. He touched me and I knew I was about to go off and so I just … made it not hurt? I could just do that?
I try another experiment. Maybe it’s wrong, but this is an emergency. I lift my finger to his nose and very gently, like we’ve been practicing, I zap him.
He frowns, eyes crossing to look at his nose. Then he sneezes loudly. Then sneezes again before he rubs rapidly at his nose with his palm.
“Was that necessary?” he asks with far more lucidity.
“Yes. You were acting a fool.”
He sits forward and dusts his hands off on his jeans. “That was weird. Good,” he quickly adds, “but really weird.”
“I’m just glad you aren’t in pain.”
He examines himself and then notices his current state of arousal. He lifts his hips a little off the ground to tug at his pants. “Erhm, yeah really good, I guess.”
“I think I might have done that to you somehow? I was angry and then all of it changed into fear of hurting you in the last second. I’m not really sure what happened.”
“So,” he says, mouth twisting to the side.
He smiles at me and I can’t help but grin back. “What?”
“Does this mean I’m immune to your powers?”
I lift a finger to gently zap him on the knee.
“Nope,” I say happily.
He smiles even as he rubs the area. “Even better then.”
“How so?”
“Even when you are at your most upset, peak pissed-off point, on some level you won’t let yourself hurt me.”
My jaw hangs open. “I guess?”
“And it means you have way more control than you ever thought you had.”
“I don’t know.” I blink at the potential this information brings. Could it be possible? That I could simply choose to expel all this weir
dness without hurting him. Could I do it at any time? Like at the Quickstop, I wanted to hurt that man, or at least stop him, and now I wanted to keep Nathaniel safe. And maybe combined with the earlier episode in my office it just came out as … arousal?
“It’s amazing,” he says. “You can choose the way to expend the energy you absorb.”
This sure would have been nice to know, oh, say, ten years ago!
Focus on what works.
Grandma Sue comes unbidden into my thoughts. Could she have known? But then why wouldn’t she just tell me? Why did we have to move so often if I could control it?
“Try something else,” he says. “I dunno, just shooting light from your hands. Like practice but harmless? Think you could?”
I had done it before a little in the lab but now I felt more confident, knowing there was no chance I would ever let myself hurt him.
I lift my hand and focus. I feel the heat gather, like in our practices. But then when it feels like it’s about to spill out of my hand, I imagine sparklers from the Fourth of July.
Tiny little sparks shoot out of my hands.
“Whoa,” I say at same time he reaches a finger out.
“Ouch, okay those still hurt.”
“Hmm.” I gather the heat in me again. It’s easy, the most natural thing I can do, like breathing deeply. I feel the energy from the sun absorb into my skin and focus as though I’m letting it flow through my veins. I will it toward my palms and then I think about the few things I know about the electromagnetic spectrum. Right in the middle, what most human see, is harmless visible light.
I sigh as I release the energy from my palms.
“Did you seriously just shoot rainbows from your hands?”
I look over my shoulder with sass. “Don’t be jealous.”
His mood has completely shifted with mine. I can shoot rainbows out of my hands. What the hell is happening? And with every burst of energy I let out, I feel better within. Like burping after chugging a carbonated drink. Not the classiest of examples, but the relief is comparable.
“Okay. This is exactly what I thought!” He’s worked up now.
“What?” I smile big at him.
“You’re a freaking human energy converter. You can absorb energy from the sun, I’m assuming, and translate it to any waves on the electromagnetic spectrum. You are what scientists dream of.”
He grabs my shoulders and shakes me gently, smiling wildly. I spread my hands and do another rainbow, trying to arch it from hand to hand with a big cheesy grin. “Yay!”
He laughs like I haven’t seen in days. I’m happy to have distracted him from the pain. I’d rather be the weirdo shooting rainbows than another source of stress in his life. He laughs and hugs me. I don’t push him away; I bring him close. It occurs to me that his happiness now means more to me than being normal. I’m not even mad about it.
“I bet that’s what causes the fires and hurts the plants. When you are most upset, you default to the most dangerous wavelength—gamma rays. Gamma rays are dangerous but when they’re concentrated and crossed, they are deadly. It would explain why your clothes never burn. It makes sense, doesn’t it? The gamma rays only burn when they cross—when you dance.”
I can hardly follow him; he’s talking so fast. “And that’s why when I’m just starting to get worked up, it’s heat. Visible light.”
He snaps. “Yes! And the shocks! It’s like you’re just shuffling those molecules around. Like a warning system. You were right!”
I cannot help but laugh at his adorkableness.
“Try infrared light,” he says.
I think about light energy but heavier. I can’t really explain it. But when I focus, the world takes on that weird whiteout effect. “This is unbelievable,” I say, spreading the energy out around me and seeing the world inverse, in black and white like I do when it’s dark. “I had no idea I was doing this before.”
“So much of what you do seems to come naturally. Maybe that’s why holding back your powers makes you sick. You’re actually giving yourself some sort of heat poisoning or, God, I hope not, radiation poisoning.”
“If that was the case, I’m pretty sure I’d be dead by now. I think my body must self-regulate by forcing the outbursts.”
He nods. “Yeah, yeah. That makes sense.” He’s lost in his thoughts for a moment before bringing himself back to me. “What are you doing now? I can’t actually tell if you’re doing infrared. Stupid normal eyes. Dammit. I wish I had my equipment.”
He runs a hand through his curls and the reality that awaits us back in the testing facility seems to settle in.
“I’m not doing anything. Just me.” I shrug.
He steps forward and cups my face. “There is nothing ‘just’ about you.”
I blush and a second later say, “I guess you’re right.”
He looks at me, eyebrows raised in question, still holding my face close to his.
“I am a superhero.”
He grins so goofily I have no choice but to lean in and kiss him. It’s a quick, chaste kiss but I do it so freely I can’t help but smile too.
“So you feel a little better then?” I ask.
“Yeah. I still need to go break the news to Ken, but things suddenly don’t seem so bad.” He touches me now with no hesitation. I don’t fight it either.
Ugh. Ken. Maybe I should tell him about the weird sexist comments, but Nathaniel has enough on his plate and I don’t want to make things worse for him because of Ken’s old-school thinking. Instead, I decide to keep him happy and in the moment.
“I’m glad I was able to distract you with my freak-out.”
“I will need a lot more distraction.” He comes closer and kisses me again, longer this time. It’s soft and gentle. His tongue grazes mine and I have no fear. I could not hurt this man. My feelings for him are way too big.
He steps back, looking as dazed as I feel. “Okay. Let’s head back before someone comes to investigate the light show.”
He grabs my hand and holds it all the way back to the building. I squeeze back and my smile never leaves my face.
24
Julia
It’s my turn to show up unannounced. It was partly Angel’s idea. When I told her about how things have been developing with Nathaniel—omitting the steamy events in my office—she suggested I go for a visit. So here I stand on his doorstep, waiting for him to open the door, wondering how he’ll greet me. After the disaster where I almost killed him he had to go back to work and deal with the vandalism. We didn’t talk the rest of the day, but I woke up this Saturday restless and unable to wait any longer.
I’m still furious and disgusted that William Moore is his abusive father. I knew my instincts were pinging for a reason. I have to force the thoughts away because the angry energy grows almost immediately.
It’s possible that I have complete control of my powers. Or so it seems. However, there is still one big test we haven’t attempted.
The door opens. Nathaniel’s eyes widen. He pulls me into the house immediately. As soon as the door is shut, he presses me against it.
He gently cups the back of my head with one hand and my ass with the other, pressing his whole body against me. He stoops to gently rest his forehead against mine. “I’ve missed you,” he says.
I smile up at him. “It’s not even been twelve hours,” I say, doing quick math.
“Too long.”
He pulls back, his eyes burning into mine. It’s like he knows why I’m here. No more closed offices and interruptions. No more longing glances cut short by curious onlookers.
“Lincoln here?” I ask innocently.
“At practice for hours.”
Just him and me. I lick my lips. “One final test,” I say.
Now we will see if I can control my powers when I’m completely lost to him.
Today he’s dressed in low hanging sweats and a tight Star Wars tee. Despite what he seems to think, this man is one hundred percent a thirst trap. H
is biceps and shoulders stretch the soft material of his shirt. I run my hands up his arms and delight as his eyes close with a shudder. No glowing lights, no pain. Just heat. The heat of long bottled-up wanting.
He opens his eyes to hold my stare. “No. No more tests. No more experiments. Just you and me. Whatever that brings.”
“But I—”
“I want all of you, Julia. No more ifs and whens. Whatever happens, we’ll take it one step at a time. There’s no rush for me. I just want you. We have nothing but time.”
My heart skips. I grab his shirt and bring his body back to mine. “Time?” I ask.
I’ve always dreamed of having time. Staying in one place without the clicking tock of my inevitable departure. A life with someone who knows me for me. It’s more than I ever let myself imagine. We could make it work. He wants me. I want him. It’s doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that. I can have a taste of normal with him. We can make a simple life and take it one day at a time. Now that I have more control; now that I understand I am in control.
“I have to leave,” I say. “I have another contract in just a couple weeks.”
“We’ll figure it out. We’re a team.”
It’s enough to cause my heart to go wild. Everything I’ve ever wanted—a normal life, a family. Could it be possible?
“I’m afraid,” I admit. I’m terrified of letting myself hope for more. So many years of my life have been spent living in such a way that staying still wasn’t an option.
“We can go slow,” he says.
He misinterprets my fear. My virginity has never felt like a burden or a gift. Just a fact that came with my disorder. But knowing he cares about my comfort is just another example of his awareness and compassion.
To emphasize his point, he slowly leans forward. I watch him until my eyes close when he reaches me. Languidly, he presses his lips to mine, warm and soft. His tongue teases the seam of my mouth until I open to him in a soft sigh. He drags a finger up my arm. The heat starts to gather and I do what we practiced. I let it go. A soft, harmless warmth. He can’t see it, but I know it’s working. Because the glow doesn’t come. He shudders.
The Untouched: THE UNSEEN SERIES, #2 Page 19