Naked or Dead

by Murphy, A. E.

  I smile as sweetly as my inner bitterness allows. “Do you have any kids, Officer Deacon?”

  “I do, a son just a couple of years older than you.”

  “You must make him so proud,” I comment; really I don’t give a fuck.

  The light dims in his eyes as he loses his gentle smile to some kind of pain that I’m really good at seeing in people. It looks like grief, regret, anguish… so much of all three.

  “Well… I suppose there’s no reason to keep you.” He shines the light over my shoulder once more and then takes a step back, his posture more slumped now. What just happened? “Have a good night, Miss Deville.”

  “You too, Officer Deacon.”

  He turns away and lifts his pants by his belt, making them rattle while shifting them into the correct place.

  “False alarm, it’s all good here,” he speaks into the radio attached to the front of his left shoulder. When dispatch replies a muffled something, he turns back to me and smiles that faux kind smile that creeps me out. “Be careful while out and about.”

  “I will.”

  “You didn’t hear it from me but…” He glances around, smiling now as though he holds the key to all the world’s secrets and whatever transpired before between us no longer does. “This place could be next on the Sigil killer’s list and there have been a few sightings of an unknown man wandering around.”

  My breath catches in my throat. I hope he’s wrong, I really do. “I’ll be sure to carry my mace spray with me.”

  “Good girl.” He starts the long walk down my drive to his car, giving me one last wave before driving away.

  I close the door and press my back to it.

  Why does he think this place could be next? What does he know?

  I look at my sister who is sliding down the stairs on her bum.

  “I hallucinate?” she asks smarmily, raising a pointed brow.

  I laugh but it’s forced. “I said the first thing that came to mind.”

  “Ooookayyyy.” She slides the rest of the way down and I help her to her feet. “So… the killer could be in town huh?”

  “Seems like it.”

  “I’ll look into it.”

  I nod, frowning. “Me too. I know a couple of people who might know more about it. See what local cops think they know.”

  She claps her hands with excitement. “I love a good mystery.”

  “There’s nothing good about any of it,” I snap, stalking past her and into the kitchen.

  “Your voice sounds sexy,” she tells me, totally ignoring anything else I said, “it’s all husky from the screaming I did with your throat.”

  Flipping her off, I down a glass of water and slam it onto the counter, ignoring the darkness around me. I don’t often turn on the lights when I’m home at night. I feel safer in the dark. The dark hides the monsters and a monster is exactly what I am.

  I pad back upstairs and go into my sister’s room to grab my phone. I have a few missed calls and a single text. I like that Nok has given me space, though I think I might have pissed him off. I did leave there abruptly, but I had to. My anxiety was… it was too much.

  I was worried he might follow but he’s not an overbearing person. He likes my attention when I want to give it, he doesn’t beg for it in between. I’d like to say I’m the same but if I want his attention and he’s not listening I’ll turn his face towards me or stand in his line of sight until he looks at me.

  Just like today, he said he was going to stay at home with his brother for a while, so I showed up and rubbed up against his dick until he took me to bed, and then I woke up from that horrific nightmare.

  He didn’t seem to mind. Not in the slightest.

  Nokosi: You left your bra here.

  Lilith: Your moobs need it.

  Nokosi: I do not have moobs.

  Lilith: Sure.

  Nokosi: Want me to drop it by?

  Lilith: Not tonight. You should rest. I’m taking a pill and going to sleep.

  Nokosi: I wish you wouldn’t do that.

  Lilith: Sleep?

  Nokosi: Keep popping your sister’s sleeping meds.

  Lilith: Don’t start. Not with that.

  Nokosi: I’m just worried about you.

  Lilith: I don’t need you to worry. We’re not about that. That’s not us.

  Nokosi: Noted.

  I’ve annoyed him, I know I have but I can’t deal with him bitching at me for my choices too. Mom gets on at me enough about it but how else can I sleep? Nokosi helps me sleep, he helps me rest… or he did. Until today. Until the nightmares took place in our haven too.

  Willow

  “What did she do?” I ask Nokosi as he angrily rolls the white paint up and down the garage wall. I work on the edges with a brush, feeling woozy from the smell, but I felt woozy anyway.

  He doesn’t answer, so I keep painting for a bit longer, silent and patient.

  When he huffs again, I cross my eyes and blow out my cheeks.

  “What are you, a middle-aged wife whose husband forgot their anniversary?” I throw my paintbrush into the tray and look at him with a frown. “What’s wrong? What did my sister do?” He glances at me out of the corner of his eyes. “You can talk to me. I’ll take it to the grave… which is coming sooner rather than later.”

  His lips twitch with a faint smile and he finally stops his aggressive rolling and drops it on top of my brush. “Do you always joke about your death?”

  “Should I always cry about it?”

  He scratches his jaw with paint-splattered fingers. “I guess not.”

  “So… you want to tell me what my bitch twin did?”

  He wets his lips. “She just… it’s hypocritical of me to say.”

  “So? Say it anyway.”

  “She shuts down whenever we talk about…” He throws his hands up in the air and sits on an upturned bucket. “Anything. Be it in regard to you, her past, her future… and now she’s being off with me. She ignored me all day in school today to talk to this girl that she has never spoken to before.”

  I nod to show him I’m listening. “Mackenzie?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “Is it so bad that she wants to make friends?” I question, smirking at him and his jealousy. “Is it because it takes her away from you?”

  “That’s not what it is,” he grumbles but even I know that’s exactly what it is. Maybe we are more alike than I thought.

  “What is it you want from my sister, Nok?” I ask, sitting cross-legged on the concrete floor, dancing the tip of my finger in a splatter of paint beside me. My bum is going numb.

  He clears his throat. “Excuse me?”

  “Do you love her?”

  “I hardly know her.”

  I grit my teeth and repeat with force, “Do you love her.”

  “If I do or don’t… that’s a conversation I’ll have with her when the time is right.”

  “But you think she’s special?”

  He groans and wipes his face on his T, lifting the hem so I get to see what lies beneath. I love it when he does that. I’m not so much of a monster that I can’t appreciate a handsome male when I see one. “Let’s just drop it.”

  “Not a chance.” I bum shuffle closer to him, stopping when I’m within touching distance. “Is she special to you? Or is she just your step on the way to finding the right woman?”

  His hazel-ish brown eyes shine in the dim light, flickering as he thinks on it and I’m curious as to what’s going through his mind right now. “I’m only eighteen—”

  “So? Age is—”

  He raises a hand to cut me off. “I always thought love was a pussy excuse for losing your game in the dating world.” His eyes don’t come to mine, they close for a moment as though daring himself to speak and when they reopen the fiery determination there sends a thrill through my body. “And yet here I am, finding myself terrified that your sister might just suddenly decide she’s bored of me.”

  “If only you knew,�
�� I mumble under my breath, feeling almost sorry for him because his feelings replicate my own so well. “She’s ignored you for one day. Not a year. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Has she said anything to you?”

  I shake my head, wishing that she had, wishing that she would tire of him so we can go again. “Nothing.”

  “But even if she had, would you tell me?” His charming yet annoying smile returns.

  Laughing, I pick up his roller and stand with it poised and ready for action. “Definitely not.”

  “I’ll look after her, you know that, right? After you’re gone. I’ll protect her.”

  My heart thuds painfully in my chest. I want to scream at him. I want to tell him that it’s not his job to. I want to tell him she’s mine and always will be. But I find myself thinking of my sister and how happy she has been lately. Am I so selfish that I can’t allow her one young love?

  “Thank you,” I whisper and start rolling the white onto the dirty gray wall. “We probably should have cleaned the wall better before adding gloss.”

  “I did say that.”

  I put my finger to my lips and shush him, making him laugh under his breath.

  Nokosi Locklear isn’t a bad guy… but he has the chance to derail our lives. I can’t let him do that. No matter what, my plan still stands.

  He’s going down, it is as it is.

  But I can allow her a little more time. It would be a kindness she deserves.

  “Don’t hurt her, Nok,” I say firmly, and his brows hit his hairline, “you’ll regret it if you do.”

  * * *

  Lilith

  “How did you get all of this information?” I ask Mackenzie, awed by what’s laid on the grass between us. Two binders full of laminated pouches that hold sheets upon sheets of information on the School Sigil Searer and their victims. “It’s insane.”

  “Too right,” Joseph mutters, also as awed as me.

  I brought Mackenzie here on my dirt bike, much to her despair. I let her use my sister’s old helmet, somebody may as well. She was shocked to say the least but there’s no way I was getting my dad’s Prius to the fucking track.

  She clung tight to my body and screamed most of the way here, her heavy backpack weighing my turns down.

  This all got planned yesterday at school when I hung around with her for the day after learning of her obsession with this killer. I’m so glad I did. This bitch has FBI files on it that have never been released to the public. She won’t tell me how she got them, just that, if she gets caught with them, she’ll go to jail.

  My lips are sealed, and she trusts that much of me.

  “It took a lot of time, but I had this thought that I might be able to figure it out myself. I mean there’s a fifty-thousand-dollar reward for any information leading to this dude’s arrest.” She is so animated and chatty in a way I’ve never been. She’s like Emma Stone whereas I’m more Billy Eilish.

  She’s nice enough but I reckon I’ll tire of her soon.

  Bobby whistles a long low note. He’s impressed. “You’ve even got some of their fucking dead photos. That’s just creepy.”

  “Totes,” Mackenzie replied. “I had nightmares for days the first time I saw them. I felt like I was doing them a disservice and violating them in some way, so I don’t look at the pictures anymore.”

  “Respectful,” I state, nodding softly.

  “Where’s Nokosi?” Nash suddenly asks, appearing from the tree line with his friends.

  “At work,” I reply without looking up from the paper.

  “What are you doing?” he asks as he gets closer.

  Mackenzie looks at me for confirmation of trust.

  “That’s on you,” I tell her. “These seem like good people, but I don’t know them well enough to vouch for their loyalty.”

  “Ouch, Lil, what a burn,” Joseph jokes, giving me a playful shove.

  Bobby cuts in, “So, what we know so far is this psychopath has killed twenty-seven guys aged sixteen to eighteen?”

  “Twenty-seven and counting,” I add, wagging my brows.

  Bobby grins at me, showing slightly crooked teeth and dimples in his chin. “I thought you didn’t like talking about death.”

  “I don’t, with my sister being so close to it, it’s upsetting… but I figured I better start making friends before the school year ends and who better to entice than you freaks to my weirdness?”

  Mackenzie laughs and shakes her head, Joseph pushes me again, and Bobby throws a stick at me.

  “In between sucking Nok’s dick, and looking after my sister, I haven’t had much time.”

  “Gross,” Nash baulks, standing and moving to my dirt bike. “Can I?”

  “Where’s yours?” I frown, throwing him my keys.

  “In for repair.”

  He pulls on my helmet, straddles my beast of a bike, and kickstarts the engine. Then he peels away, showing off on the track like he always does.

  “Why don’t you ever let me on your bike?” Joseph pouts, disappointed.

  “Because you’re shit.”

  Bobby falls backwards laughing and I grin wryly and unapologetically as I always do.

  “You’re such a bitch, Lil,” Joseph jests good-naturedly. “What the hell Nokosi sees in you is anyone’s guess.”

  “His penis,” Mackenzie answers flippantly and freezes when we all look at her. She gulps the orange down that she just placed on her tongue and adds, “He sees his penis in her.”

  I laugh, it starts as a slight giggle that bounces up from my chest but then becomes full-body laughter. I clutch my stomach and pat her on the back. “That was good, Mack. That was really good.”

  Mackenzie beams with pride.

  “Anyway,” Joseph says clearly and flicks through the blue binder. “So, we know the last victim found was a month ago.”

  “Found a month ago but died over two,” Mackenzie puts in.

  Hands tip my head back and lips touch my forehead. I smell him before I see him. Nokosi. Just whispering his name in my brain sends a shiver down my spine.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” he whispers, sitting behind me and pulling me into his crotch. “What’s this about my penis being in you?”

  Laughing softly, I turn my head and touch my lips to his. We deepen it for a moment and the others let us have it. Normally they moan at us for the display, not that we care what makes them uncomfortable or not.

  I softly suck on his lower lip for a second before looking into his eyes and breathing the words, “I’m sorry.”

  He knows what I’m apologizing for, I don’t have to elaborate, and he won’t make me.

  His tired browns soften and his hand cups my cheek tenderly. When his thumb strokes the skin beneath my eye, I kiss him again. We share this private moment in this crowded place and then look at the binders.

  “Where can I get me some of that passion?” Mack cries and scrunches her nose up at me. “You two are so hot you have no idea.”

  “I’m passionate,” Bobby declares, raising his hand.

  Nok groans into my neck and Joseph clips his friend upside the head.

  “Well, I am,” he grumbles and Mackenzie sighs dramatically while uttering the word, “Boys.”

  “So, what do the FBI know so far?” I ask to change the subject.

  “Well…” She glances at us all and lowers her voice as an evil, excited smile stretches her pretty face. “They think he might be here.”

  I tense and look at Nokosi who shrugs. “I’ll protect you.”

  Snorting, I roll my eyes back to the binders as Joseph is stuffing things back inside. “He’s after boys, remember. Last I checked, us women are safe.” Mackenzie and I fist-bump.

  “Don’t worry, boys, we’ve got your backs,” Mackenzie cries, raising her pale fist high.

  I pull my knife from my boot and flip out the blade with a click. “Or are we going to stab you in it?”

  “That’s not funny, don’t freak me out,” Joseph whines as I tuck my weapon
away, cackling like a witch.

  “Stay with me tonight?” Nokosi asks. “Just in case the killer tries to get me in my sleep.”

  The sky is getting gray which means our little gathering must end soon.

  “I don’t see why not,” I murmur, climbing to my feet just as Nash comes skidding to a stop before me. “But we need to give Mackenzie a ride back into town.”

  “No problem, we’ll take my truck.”

  “Nash,” I call, and he pulls off his helmet which is actually my helmet. “Can you take my bike back to your house when you’re done? I’m gonna hang with Nokosi for a while.”

  “Sure, I’ll fill her up too.”

  I flap a hand at him. “Don’t worry about that. Just leave me enough to get home.”

  Nokosi wraps an arm around my neck as Joseph and Bobby rush to help Mackenzie pack away.

  “So,” she asks, catching up to us after a moment. “Why the sudden interest in the serial killer?”

  I sigh heavily. “Truth be told I need the distraction.”

  “Well, hit me up if you want to go through it all again.”

  “Definitely.” I grin at her genuinely. “It was cool hanging with you. You’re not like the other girls I’ve met at prep.”

  “You mean because I don’t want to conform to society’s standards on makeup and boys and shit?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “I’m glad you’ve seen it and approve.”

  We fist-bump again and make our way through the trees to where Nokosi parked his truck.

  “I can’t believe I’m hanging out with the cool kids,” Mackenzie comments, climbing into the front seat after me.

  I laugh, she’s quite funny. “We’re the cool kids?”

  She nods rapidly. “You’ve been here a month and already you’ve been voted most unapproachable and the person people want to hang with.”

  Nokosi laughs at that. “They got the unapproachable right.”

  “Yeah,” I agree, wiping my dirty hands on my jeans. “I don’t like people.”