Doctor's Orders (Complete Series)

by Lilian Monroe

  Maybe he’s gone to get some food, or just in the bathroom. I stretch out on the silky sheets, loving how soft the pillows are. This is definitely nicer than my apartment at home. At least there are some perks to working at a prestigious plastic surgery office – business class flights and luxury hotels are definitely something I could get used to.

  I sigh, completely content. I don’t remember the last time I came that hard, or the last time sex felt so… intimate. It’s crazy, because I hardly know him. But it was like we knew where to touch each other, where to look, what to say, and what not to say. His eyes devoured me and made me feel like a goddess, his hands were hungry as they roamed all over my body. And his cock… well. I sigh again.

  Elliot’s voice drifts through the thin wall separating the bathroom with the bedroom. I get up lightly and take a few steps toward the door. His voice filters through a bit more clearly and his words make my heart sink like a rock.

  “I love you, baby girl. You know that, right?”

  What did he just say?

  “I’ll be home soon and I promise we’ll go have a fun night out together. I know how much you like ice cream.” He chuckles. He chuckles? The ice king, the jerk, the impenetrable fortress of non-emotion… he loves her? She’s making him laugh? Ice cream dates?

  Jealousy rips through me like a freight train. Melodie’s face pops into my head and I wonder if it’s her on the other end of the line. I feel dizzy and weak, like my limbs are suddenly full of pins and needles. My dress is still near the door. I slip it on as quietly as I can and gather the rest of my things. Thank goodness my room is only a few doors down. I take a quick look around the room and slip out the door, closing it quietly behind me. Almost running barefoot down the hallway, I make it to my own room and rush inside. I drop the shoes and purse and underwear in my hands and let out a massive sigh.

  The tears are already welling up inside me. I knew I shouldn’t trust him. Of course he would use me, he’s been nothing but rude to me ever since I met him. And now we’ve gone away together and the first chance he has, he comes on to me. Like a fool, as soon as he changes his tune, I’m all over him. I feel so much shame and embarrassment. I feel… pathetic. The new girl who just couldn’t resist spreading her legs at the first opportunity. Great.

  How could I be so stupid. I actually thought he was different, there was more to him. I thought the asshole thing was just an act. My sobs start in the depths of my stomach and erupt through my throat. I’m not the girl that gets played. I’m not the girl that gets attached. How could I put myself in this situation? I’m the one who makes guys come to me.

  Suddenly I’m on my knees, hands over my face. I’m crying like I’ve never cried before. The stress of the past few months is hitting me all at once and wave after wave of despair washes over me. I did this to myself. This job was the one chance I had of making my debts legitimate, of taking away the threat of scar-faced Victor coming after me and I’ve ruined it. I’ve made a fool of myself and if the whole office doesn’t already know, I’m sure they will soon.

  I think of Dave, who got me the job. He vouched for me in front of his boss and now not only will I be the office fool, but he will too for recommending me. I’m still on my knees and I fall to the side, letting my back rest on the wall as my tears drop down my face to the floor.

  He’s made a fool of me. Me. The silly girl who just wanted a bit of attention. Oh God, I’m so embarrassed. I run my fingers through my hair and try to brush the never-ending stream of tears off my cheeks.

  What a dirty, cheating, lying, son of a bitch. The minute he leaves New York, leaves his girlfriend or wife or whatever, he’s all over me. I can’t believe he played me like that. And I ate it all up, like an idiot. I loved the attention, loved the way he looked at me and touched me. As if I was special! As if he cared about me.

  My chest feels like it’s splitting in two and my body feels weaker than it’s ever felt before. I don’t know if I can even get up off the floor, so I stay there, collapsed. I’ve been a fool.

  25

  Elliot

  I hang up the phone with Gracie and sigh contentedly. It was so nice to hear her voice, and for the first time in seven years I didn’t mind talking to Mabel. I turn around and look at myself in the bathroom mirror. Splashing some water on my face, I try to wipe the sleep from my eyes.

  I hope Emma is still asleep when I walk out, and I can see her peaceful face and then climb into bed next to her. Maybe we can order room service for dinner and just stay in bed until tomorrow. We can skip all the networking bullshit at the conference and just spend all night in each other’s arms. I turn the doorknob and step back into the bedroom, with my steps feeling lighter than they have in years.

  Turning the corner, my brows stitch together. The bed is empty. My eyes scan around the room and my heart, so light a second ago, drops to my stomach like an anchor. She’s gone. Maybe she’s just gone to get some food, or….

  No. She’s gone. She took all her things and left while I was in the bathroom.

  She’s gone.

  I feel the heat of anger and embarrassment well up inside me. I spin around the room again, checking and re-checking that she took all her stuff and left. All that time I was convincing myself that she felt just like I did. I convinced myself that she thought this was something more than a one-time thing. I was kidding myself. One and done, and then sneak off as soon as she gets the chance. She probably wasn’t even sleeping earlier.

  The heat of my anger floods my veins. I can feel my neck getting flushed, strained, tense as I look around the room one more time. I can’t see as my vision gets blurry. I stumble forward toward the bed and hit my foot on a chair. “Fuck!” I yell as the pain shoots up through my leg. It only serves to intensify my anger.

  How could she? I opened up to her. I trusted her. And she just used me to get off and then leaves when my back is turned. The least she could do is say goodbye and treat me like a fucking adult.

  I spin around in a circle, not knowing what to do. My hands are on my face, running through my hair, grabbing at my chest. My breath comes in short, sharp bursts. Every struggling breath shoots pain through my chest. I turn to the door to the room and rush toward it.

  I’m going to walk straight to her room and ask her what the fuck her problem is. I make it to the door and put my hand on the doorknob before stopping myself.

  What would I do? Stomp up to her room and demand she like me? Tell her that I’m broken and damaged and I haven’t been with a woman in years and now I’m attached to her? That’s a great way to get a woman to like you. I may not have dated anyone in years but I know that being desperate isn’t attractive.

  My chin drops to my chest and the breath leaves my body. My anger fades and I’m deflated and numb.

  I’ve made a terrible mistake.

  I drag my feet back to the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed, head in hands as I try to take deep breaths. How could I be so stupid? I let myself get dragged along by my lust. I was weak. I knew I shouldn’t have pursued her.

  What kind of man am I? A woman pays a bit of attention to me and all of a sudden, I’m fucking attached to her like a lost puppy?

  No.

  This is for the best. I’ve always told myself that Gracie comes first, she’s the most important thing to me. Always will be. I got carried away with Emma and without knowing it, she’s done me a favor. She’s made it that much easier for me to stick to my rules. No relationships, no women, nothing until Gracie is older.

  Still, I think of the way Emma looked at me, how comfortable I felt with her in my arms and it feels like a dagger is being driven into my chest. I got a glimpse of hope, a tiny little sliver of what life could be like if I let myself open up to someone else. And as much as I hate to admit it, I liked it. A lot.

  I take a deep breath and sit up on the bed. This is for the best. We’ll just keep it professional from now on. I glance around the room, at my discarded clothes, at the messy bed that
stands like a monument to our explosive sex, and I know I need to get out of here. I’ll go get a drink, or some dinner, or go for a walk. Something to take my mind off Emma Thompson.

  26

  Emma

  I wake up groggily and groan as my alarm goes off. My eyes are puffy and I can hardly open them. Stumbling out of bed, I make my way to the bathroom. I look at my face in the mirror and barely recognize myself. My face is blotchy and swollen, and my eyes are hard to open. I never bothered to take my makeup off last night and the remnants are smeared all over my face.

  I look away from the mirror with a sigh and turn on the shower. My body is working on autopilot. I don’t want to think about anything, not Elliot, or last night, or today, or tomorrow. I just want the warm water to wash me clean.

  The water runs over my body for ages. I just stand there without moving. Then, my mind betrays me. Elliot’s face pops into my head, when he was inches from mine in the empty conference room yesterday. His eyes had a spark in them, a depth I’d never seen before. And then I catch myself–I’m looking for meaning where there is none.

  He’s a cheat and a liar. I allowed myself to think there was something going on when there wasn’t. The shame and embarrassment boil over and all of a sudden, I’m crying again. I let myself cry in the shower for a few moments, the warm water mixing with the tears on my cheeks.

  Pull yourself together.

  This is ridiculous. He’s a coworker. We hooked up. It was a mistake. If he’s an adult we will both be able to move on.

  Still, I dread the thought of facing him today, trying to be professional and pretend that nothing happened. I rinse myself off and grab a clean towel from the rack. I’ll just text him and say I’m feeling sick. I don’t care if he believes me or not, I can’t face him. I can’t look him in the eye.

  Sighing, I resign myself to the fact that I’m going to have to be an adult about this. I can’t run and hide. The best I can do is just face him this morning and make it clear that yesterday was a mistake. I wrap my towel around myself and go sit on my bed scrolling through my phone to find Valerie’s name. I lie back in bed as the phone rings. She answers after a few seconds.

  “Em! How’s San Diego? How did the presentation go?”

  “The presentation was good,” I start, pausing.

  “Uh oh...” Val says, sensing my hesitation. “What happened.”

  I grimace as the words squeeze out of me. “I may or may not have slept with Dr. Davis.”

  “What.”

  “I know.”

  “What.”

  “Val, I don’t know what happened.”

  “I thought he was a jerk.”

  “He was. He is!” I sigh.

  Valerie starts laughing and I imagine her face scrunching up and her shoulders shaking, like they always do when she finds something really funny.

  “You just couldn’t keep it in your pants, could you, Em?” More laughing. “I should have known.”

  “I didn’t mean to.”

  “You just slipped and fell on his dick?”

  I’m the one who’s laughing now. “Something like that.”

  “Well…. How was it?”

  I can’t help smiling when I think about it. “It was good. I mean… really good. Like, intense and intimate and... I don’t know.” I pause again.

  “So... are you going to do it again?”

  “No!” I answer too quickly. Val says nothing and I sigh. “I sort of dozed off afterwards and when I woke up, he was in the bathroom. He was on the phone... with another girl.”

  “Oh, Em…” Val’s voice is softer. I hate feeling like she’s pitying me.

  “I feel like shit. I didn’t know. And now I’m the other woman, you know? That’s not me. I would never help someone cheat. Sure, I like to go out and have fun and I’ve had my fair share of casual hookups but that’s different. This is crossing a serious line.”

  “Emma, you’re not a bad person. This is 100% on him. Are you… are you sure? What did he say?”

  “He was saying ‘I love you’ and making plans to hang out and go for fucking ice cream.”

  “Oh…” We’re both quiet for a while and then Val speaks again. “Maybe it’s not what you think. Maybe it was his mom or something.”

  “His mom? I wasn’t born yesterday, Val,” I say sarcastically. “No one talks to their mother like that, and if it was his mother then the best thing for me to do is RUN. That is a bright red flag if I’ve ever seen one.” She laughs.

  “Okay, okay. So what are you going to do?”

  “I’m trying to psych myself up to talk to him this morning so it’s not mega awkward for the rest of eternity while we work together.”

  “At least he’s quiet and hates talking and won’t try to be your friend. Silver lining?”

  I snort. “Yeah. Anyway, I gotta get ready. I’ll text you later and tell you how it went.”

  “See ya.”

  I hang up the phone and put it down next to me, closing my eyes and sinking into the bed. I stare up at the ceiling and take a deep breath. I’m still wearing my towel, wet hair spread out around my head. I’d better get up and face this head-on. It’s the only way to salvage the situation.

  27

  Elliot

  I shut my hotel door behind me and turn down the hallway to the elevators. I haven’t heard from Emma at all since she left, so I’ve just let it be. I won’t go chasing after her if she isn’t interested in this, even though the thought of moving on sends a sharp pain through my chest. I’m a few feet from the elevators when I hear a door opening behind me. Before I turn around, I already know it’s Emma. I don’t know whether to be angry or excited or turned on when I see her walking toward me.

  She’s dressed in a black pencil skirt and a pale pink blouse that hugs her shape perfectly. She looks so good I try not to stare as she walks, hips swinging from side to side. I don’t know how she exudes sex so much, but just the sight of her now makes my cock jump in my pants. I clear my throat.

  “Morning,” I start. She holds up her hand.

  “I need to say something.” She pauses and looks at me, so I nod. She continues, “Yesterday was... A mistake. I think it would be best if we both moved on and forgot it happened. I–we–got carried away. We’re colleagues and I think continuing anything beyond that would be inappropriate.”

  I try not to betray the pang of pain that passes through my chest at her words. I nod.

  “Agreed.”

  “Good.”

  She turns to the elevator doors and presses the ‘down’ button. We wait in silence while the elevator whizzes up to meet us. The doors open and we both make a move to step through, and then I pause to let her in. I feel unimaginably awkward right now. There’s a chasm between us, wider than the Grand Canyon, and I’d give anything to bridge it. I want things to be like last week, when her smile was easy and she felt comfortable around me. Even better, I want them to be how they were last night before she disappeared.

  She’s standing in the elevator, staring straight ahead as we go down to the lobby. Her shoulders are tense and she’s doing her best to ignore me. I can’t help but trail my eyes down her body once more and then snap my head forward. Finally, I can’t take it anymore.

  “You could have said something yesterday instead of taking off like that. At least had the decency to say goodbye.” Anger is growing inside me again at the thought of her disappearing act. “If we’re going to be civil with each other, that seems like a missed opportunity.”

  Her head spins slowly toward me. I’ve never seen her eyes like that. They’ve narrowed and they’re shooting flames—at me. I’m almost knocked back by the strength of her gaze, but I square my shoulders in righteous anger.

  “What did you just say to me?” Her voice is low, monotone. I don’t care, though. Who does she think she is? She’s the one who ran out on me. And then she thinks she can dictate the way this is going to go?

  “I’m on board with that being a one
-time thing, whatever you want. But it was pretty fucking rude to just disappear while I was in the bathroom. I’d think common courtesy would be to at least say goodbye, especially seeing as we’re going to see each other five days a week for the foreseeable future.”

  She opens her mouth to respond when the elevator doors ding and open up to the lobby. There’s a large family with kids and bags blocking the exit. Both Emma and I are fuming, suddenly silenced by the appearance of other people. We thread our way through and as soon as we’re out of earshot Emma whispers angrily at me.

  “You have some fucking nerve, Dr. Davis,” she spits.

  I stop in my tracks and spin to face her. I don’t even bother whispering. I don’t care who’s around, or who will hear.

  “Me? I’m not the one who walked out without so much as a ‘see you later’.’”

  Her jaw drops to the floor and her eyes are ablaze with fury. It only makes me angrier. How dare she be mad at me?

  “I’m supposed to be nice to you?” She says the word with disgust, as if the mere thought of me fills her with revulsion.

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I hiss.

  She takes a step back from me and looks at me, eyes wide, mouth set in a thin, hard line.

  “It means, Dr. Davis, that I’m not a fan of being used.”

  “Used?” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “You wanted that just as much as I did.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t have a girlfriend waiting for me back in New York.”

  “What?” What the fuck is she talking about? My anger is mixing with confusion as my eyebrows draw together.

  “Oh, don’t play the innocent with me. You disgust me.”

  She starts stomping toward the exit. I’m seeing red. I rush after her.