by J. Nathan
“You really need to brush up on your snowboarding lingo.”
“Why?”
“So you can come cheer me on at the Games.”
I didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure what January would bring. Things with Kason were always so unpredictable. You just never knew.
“Once you’ve had enough, I’ll hit the slopestyle and show you some of my moves.”
“I’ve had enough,” I assured him.
“Oh, no. I need you doing this on your own before we quit.”
Ugh.
***
We hit the lodge an hour later so I could thaw out. Kason grabbed me a hot chocolate then led me to a spot by the floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the mountain. From that vantage point, I could see the slopestyle course.
“Don’t be too impressed,” Kason said before taking off for the course.
“I’ll try to control myself,” I said as I pulled off Giselle’s jacket and hat and sat down in a chair. I spent the next few minutes people-watching in the crowded lodge. Kids with flushed cheeks wearing snowsuits chased each other around as parents chatted with friends and warmed themselves with hot beverages near brick fireplaces. Snowboarders strutted through, checking out the pretty girls who seemed to be doing the same. The lodge was definitely a lively place to be.
A short time later, my phone buzzed with a text from Kason letting me know he’d be dropping in—which I learned meant he was about to come down the mountain. Since he wore an ugly hot pink Slopes helmet, he’d be difficult to miss. I stood from my chair, squinting as I attempted to spot the pink helmet. I saw it! Kason came down the mountain in a zigzag pattern, before flipping and making jumps like I’d seen him do in the video he showed me. And, though I’d never admit it to him, it was even more exciting to see him snowboarding in person. His talent was undeniable.
A kid in the lodge stepped up beside me, staring out the window at the course. “He’s amazing, huh?” he said.
“Seems it,” I said.
“Someday I want to snowboard like him.”
“Do you practice?” I asked.
“Every weekend.”
“Well, I bet if you stick with it, you can do all those cool jumps.”
“Yeah,” he said.
A woman who appeared to be his mother stepped up beside him. “Whatcha doing?”
“Just watching Kason snowboard,” he told her.
“Don’t blame you.” She looked at me. “He’s definitely something to watch.”
A tinge of unwarranted jealousy balled up in my chest.
Kason sprayed snow at the bottom of the mountain. He turned to look at me through the window and waved his gloved hand.
The little boy beside me waved to him. I didn’t wave back so the boy would think that Kason was waving to him.
Even with big goggles covering most of Kason’s face, his smile still heightened unfamiliar feelings building inside me. I’d been honest when I told him he was two different guys. The one who thought he could do what he wanted and to hell with everyone else. But then he was this thoughtful guy who took me home when I had nowhere to go and was teaching me to snowboard despite my lack of coordination. Talk about infuriating.
“Looks like that wave wasn’t for my son,” the woman beside me whispered.
An uncomfortable laugh escaped me. “We’re just friends,” I assured her.
“I’d like to be friends with a guy who looked like that,” she said before walking away.
I wondered if she knew what he was really like? Behind the good looks and snowboarding skills, did anyone really know Kason McCloud? Because I sure as hell didn’t.
***
Giselle poked her head in the guest room that night when she returned from the boutique. “Did you have fun at the mountain?”
“Not sure fun is the word for it. But thanks for letting me borrow your stuff.”
She laughed. “It’s not like I ever wear it anymore. I’m glad it was put to good use.”
“Yeah, well, most of my day consisted of watching your brother from the lodge.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I always enjoyed hanging in the lodge too. Lots of hot guys stroll through there.”
I smiled, thinking back to the woman checking out Kason.
She closed the door and sat down on the bed. “Can I ask you something?”
“Uh oh,” I said.
“No, it’s nothing to worry about. I’m just being nosey. Is there something going on with you and my brother?”
“What do you mean by something?” I asked.
“Well, first he brings you to the event. Then, he tells me it didn’t go so well. Now you’re here. I just can’t figure it out.”
I didn’t say anything because, in all honesty, I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m out of line,” she said, taking my silence for annoyance.
“Oh, no. You’ve been so wonderful to me. It’s just…I don’t really know what’s going on. He annoys me like no one I’ve ever met before. Not to mention, he’s done some pretty crummy stuff to me.”
“I’ll kill him.”
I laughed. “But then, there’s something there that’s redeeming. I just wonder if he knows it’s there. Does that make sense?”
“I’ve known him all my life, and I still can’t figure him out.”
I smiled, appreciating that she let me off the hook.
She went to stand. “Did Thayer meet you guys today?”
I shook my head. “No, I think I heard Kason say he was with his dad and his dad’s new girlfriend.”
An unfamiliar expression flashed across her face for a split second before it disappeared. “Hey, if you’re bored with my brother, I could always use some help at the boutique tomorrow.”
“That sounds fun. He probably needs a break from me anyway.”
“Don’t be so sure,” she said with a genuine smile that made me truly wish this was my family. “He’s different with you.”
CHAPTER 23
Shay
“How’d working with my sister go?” Kason asked from the driver’s seat of his Jeep.
“She actually paid me. I didn’t want to accept it, but she wouldn’t let me leave without it.”
“Yeah, Giselle’s pretty stubborn like that.”
“How was snowboarding?” I asked, noting his red cheeks since he’d come right from the mountain to pick me up from her shop since she was staying late to do some paperwork.
“Good.”
“You think you’ll be ready for the Games?”
“Obviously.”
I laughed. “Are you always so confident?”
“No reason not to be. No one else will do it for me.”
As much as I hated arrogant people, he had a point. If you weren’t your own biggest fan, you couldn’t expect someone else to fill that job for you.
“You wanna come to a party tonight?” he asked.
“I don’t think so. The last party I went to turned out pretty bad.”
I meant for it to be a joke, but his jaw pulsed as his eyes stayed on the road.
“I’m actually pretty tired,” I explained, not wanting to piss him off. “And, I won’t know anyone.”
He looked at me. “You’ll know me.”
“Go have fun with your friends. If I go, you’ll be worried about me the whole time.”
“I can stay home,” he offered.
“Kason, you didn’t bring me home as a date. I’m a tag along. I’m not spoiling plans you had with your friends before I crashed. I’m fine staying at your house with your family.”
He didn’t respond, and his silence was becoming more and more alarming.
Before long we pulled into his driveway. We hopped out, but while I headed for the house, Kason unpacked his snowboarding gear from the back of his Jeep.
“How’d it go?” Mrs. McCloud asked as I stepped inside the kitchen.
“Giselle does an amazing job with the boutique.”
“She’s always be
en a go-getter. Both my kids have been.”
“What have both your kids been?” Kason asked as he stepped inside the kitchen.
“Go-getters,” she explained.
“Shay’s a go-getter too,” he said, as he tugged off his hoodie. The T-shirt underneath lifted enough to catch a glimpse of his abs before he righted it.
My thoughts wandered back to the first night I’d met Kason, all bare-chested in only his boxers. I’d been affected by him that night—before he opened his mouth. And, I was currently being affected by him. Dammit. “I’m gonna go shower,” I said, needing to get out of there before I started to focus on other parts of his body.
“We’re having dinner at six,” Mrs. McCloud said.
“Okay.” I spun away and hurried upstairs. My sudden awareness of Kason and my comfort in his home had me questioning myself. If I could’ve left, I would’ve. But, Kason knew I had no home. And, picking up and leaving after they’d been so welcoming to me seemed like an odd thing to do. Not to mention, I really didn’t want to leave, which made things a hundred times more complicated.
I showered and joined everyone for pasta and meatballs at six. Most of dinner was spent with Mr. McCloud recounting all the times Kason had screwed up as a kid. Kason sat there both pouting and laughing at the stories. I didn’t have any fun stories of being a kid. Nor did I have anyone to recount them with if I did. The only memories I had with my father were bad ones. It was the ones with my mom that brought me true happiness. Like I told Kendall, those memories were mostly of her braiding my hair because that’s when we’d have our daily girl talk. She’d tell me things about school and friends and boys. I remember groaning when she brought up boys because at six boys were gross. But, looking back, I realized she knew she was dying and wanted to instill her knowledge in me the only way she knew how. I wished I remembered everything she’d said. But, I liked to believe all the good in me came from her.
Kason left for his party a little after nine. I was happy he didn’t stay home on my account. I was honest when I said I didn’t want to spoil his plans. If he’d stayed home, I would’ve felt guilty. Mr. and Mrs. McCloud invited me to watch a movie with them, but they both fell asleep a few minutes in, so I ducked away to go work on some homework in the guest room.
Somewhere around midnight, I climbed under the covers and closed my eyes, feeling oddly content despite the reason I was at the McCloud’s house in the first place. I drifted off almost immediately.
I was pulled out of a deep sleep at the sound of the guest door opening. I lay still, listening for whoever it was.
“Shay?” Kason whispered louder than he should’ve given his parents’ room was just down the hall.
“Yeah?” I whispered.
“You awake?” he slurred.
Uh oh. “I am now.”
He dropped down on the bed beside me, and I moved over as he kicked his feet up and took half of my pillow. The smell of alcohol emanated from his body, but it couldn’t mask the arctic scent that always rolled in waves off him. “I’m drunk,” he said.
I laughed. “Did you have fun with your friends?”
“Yeah. It was like old times. Except, now the girls who dissed me in high school actually wanted to be near me.”
That same tinge of jealousy from earlier formed in my stomach. “Did you let them get near you?”
“Hell yeah.” He chuckled. “So, I could diss them.”
My lips twitched, liking his answer more than I should.
“Shay?”
“Yes?”
“I wish you came to the party.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I like hanging out with you a lot more than those people.”
My heart sped up and I didn’t know how to stop it. I didn’t want him saying things like that to me. It was too confusing given everything that had happened before this weekend. “You’re only saying that because you’re drunk.”
He shook his head. “I’ll tell you again in the morning so you know I’m telling the truth.”
“I’m holding you to that,” I teased.
“Scout’s honor.”
“You weren’t a scout.”
“But I could’ve been.”
I shook my head, wishing I had this on video. It was quite amusing.
“Shay?”
“Yes, Kason?”
“I don’t want to share you.”
My brows shot up, confused by his words. “Share me with who?”
“Anyone.”
I laughed.
“Shay?”
“Mmm?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t want to kiss me. You’re drunk and horny, and I’m the only girl in the room.”
“Not true. I wanted to kiss you at the event on the ski lift.”
“I would’ve punched you.”
“Exactly why I didn’t.”
Had he really wanted to kiss me at the event? I knew he was giving me that look that guys gave girls before they went in for a kiss, but I thought it was the darkness playing tricks on me.
It was quiet for a long time. I wondered if he’d fallen asleep and if I should try to wake him so his mom didn’t find him in there with me.
“Shay?”
I laughed to myself. “Kason?”
“Can I kiss you tomorrow?”
Even though his question caused butterflies to flutter deep in my stomach, I answered honestly. “No.”
“But if I did, you’d know I wasn’t just drunk-asking.”
I closed my eyes, wondering if I wanted him to ask again tomorrow. Or, if I was just lonely. Or, confused. Or, out of my freaking mind. “I guess we’ll have to see what happens tomorrow.”
I waited for his response. But the only response I got was his soft snores. It was probably a good thing. Because each time he asked if he could kiss me, I felt my resolve weakening, and that was not okay.
CHAPTER 24
Shay
The next morning, I woke up with Kason’s arm draped over my stomach. My nerves buzzed to life. Would he remember what he’d said? Would he be shocked to see he slept in here all night? Would this be as bad as the morning I woke up in his bed?
I wasn’t about to stick around to find out.
I held my breath and slowly moved away from him, careful not to make any quick movements. I inched out from under his arm a tiny bit at a time.
Kason moaned.
I froze and stared at him, hoping I hadn’t woken him.
I hadn’t.
I released a small breath and continued moving away from him and out from under his arm. My body teetered on the side of the bed, so I twisted slowly, letting his hand fall gently to the bed. I stopped and looked to him to be sure the movement hadn’t jostled him, but he was still asleep. I released another breath as I climbed to my feet and tiptoed out of the room, closing the door quietly behind me.
“What are you doing?”
I spun around with wide eyes, caught in the act by Giselle. “Oh, I…”
Her eyes moved to Kason’s open door and empty bedroom before jumping back to the closed door behind me. “Is my brother in there?” she asked.
“It’s not what it looks like.”
A smile swept across her face. “It never is.” She turned and moved to the bathroom. “Breakfast is sure to be interesting,” she said before closing the door behind her.
I dropped my head back against the door, suddenly worried about breakfast. The only good thing was I would get down there first.
“What time are you two heading back?” Mrs. McCloud asked as she set a cup of coffee down in front of me at the kitchen table a few minutes later.
“I’m not sure,” I said, glad she hadn’t made mention of the footie pajamas I hadn’t been able to change out of before escaping downstairs. I sipped my coffee.
“Any idea what time Kason got home last night?”
I nearly cho
ked on my coffee, clearing my throat so I didn’t draw attention to myself. “Pretty late from what I could tell.”
“That boy is gonna be the death of me, I swear. Between snowboarding accidents and him out in the world without checking in with me, I’m going to be all gray before I’m sixty.”
“That’s what they have hair dye for,” Kason said as he stepped into the kitchen and moved to his mom, planting a kiss on her cheek.
I looked down, not sure what to do with myself.
“I was just asking Shay what time you got in?” Mrs. McCloud said.
My eyes lifted just as Kason’s caught them in his gaze. “Pretty late,” he said, nothing in his features giving away what he did or did not remember from last night. One thing was for sure, he knew where he woke up.
“Did you have a nice time?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
“It was all right,” he drawled and something about the way he said it caused quivers in my belly. “How was your night?” he asked me.
I swallowed my sudden nerves. “Great. I watched a movie with your parents and then got a jump on some school work.”
He stared at me, again, nothing giving away what he was thinking. “Sounds exciting.”
His mother swatted him with a dish towel, pulling his attention to her. “Watch it. Your dad and I know how to have fun.”
“Since when?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes.
Kason looked back at me. “You good to head back in about an hour?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
“So soon?” Mrs. McCloud asked.
“You’ll see me at Christmas,” Kason assured her.
“I was talking about Shay.”
I stifled a smile as he growled. “Not nice, Mom.”
She giggled, and once again I found myself yearning to be part of a normal family. Part of this family.
CHAPTER 25
Shay
An hour later, Kason and I were in his Jeep and I was staring out the window at the snowy mountains in the distance. Their peaks were covered with clouds as the early afternoon sun cast an almost blinding glow over everything.
My mind drifted to the weekend with the McClouds. I’d never been around a happy family who sat together for meals and talked about nothing in particular. They laughed together and smiled at each other and truly enjoyed each other’s company. It was a reality shock to my system. I thought television shows got it wrong when they depicted happy families. But the McClouds proved me wrong. Happy families did exist.