by J. Nathan
***
We drove to the mountain in silence, and I didn’t dare break it since I knew it’s probably what Kason needed. But, it didn’t make me feel any less helpless.
We stepped out of his Jeep and the bitter evening air hit us. I looked like an Eskimo in all the snow gear he’d bought me, but I’d stay warm. Kason grabbed all his gear and we made our way toward all the madness behind the lodge. As soon as people spotted him, a small crowd formed around us. Reporters, Games’ coordinators, and his friends greeted him.
“You have anything big planned for us tonight, McCloud?” a reporter asked.
“The snowmobiles are ready to take you up,” a man in Games gear told him.
“We’ll stay at the back,” Thayer assured him. “We can give you feedback when you come off the course.”
“Dude, you got this,” Jesse added.
Ignoring all the noise around him, Kason turned back to me and pressed a firm kiss to my lips. “Wait for me at the bottom.” He pointed to an area at the foot of the mountain where a small crowd had already begun to gather behind a snow fence bearing sponsor signs. “I want to be able to see you when I come down.”
My heart sped up, all the love and fear I had for him coming to a head. “Good luck.”
He stared into my eyes long and hard as if no one else was even there. “Thanks.” And, then he was gone.
I stood there completely alone in a crowd of people, feeling just as helpless as I’d felt all day.
I walked over to the slopestyle course, the snow beneath my boots crunching with each step. I stared up at all the jumps on the mountain Kason would be competing on. It still amazed me that he could flip and twist and land the tricks that he did, especially with a cast on his hand. He’d only been back out on the snow for a couple of weeks. He knew if he had any chance of competing, he needed to let the pins in his wrist heal before even attempting any tricks. If he had fallen again, it would’ve ensured another surgery and eliminated any possibility of competing. So, he did as he was told. It just didn’t leave him much time to train.
Once darkness descended on the mountain, huge spotlights zig-zagged across the slopestyle course and loud music played through giant speakers nearby. Kason explained music was normal for the Games because it pumped up the snowboarders and fans. He was right. The whole display brought an air of excitement to the crowd gathered at the bottom.
“Most didn’t believe McCloud would be back competing after his concussion and wrist surgery at the beginning of December,” the snowboarder-turned-commentator standing nearby said into a camera. “But he proved them all wrong, showing up strong in the preliminary runs this week. But, will he be able to medal again this year after such an injury? That’s the question on everyone’s mind.”
Kason had proven them all wrong. And, I was so damn proud of the effort he put into rehabbing his wrist. Sure, it was in a cast, but he didn’t need his wrist to snowboard. As long as he could reach down and grab his board, he assured me he was good to go.
“Ousterman looked good in preliminaries,” another commentator said. “But will it be enough for the gold again this year?”
“Are they almost ready to start?” Giselle asked, squeezing in beside me.
“I think so.”
Colored flashing lights and strobe lights now illuminated the course and an announcer’s voice came over the loudspeakers. “It’s the event you’ve all been waiting for. Men’s slopestyle!”
The crowd around me cheered. My heart began to race. I was excited to see Kason compete but so damn nervous for him.
“We have eight contestants vying for the coveted gold medal. The men will each have four runs. The scores from their best two runs will determine their final standing,” the announcer explained.
“He said a fifty was the highest you can get?” I asked Giselle.
“I’ve never seen a fifty, but yeah. That’s on a run. The top two scores are combined to get the final score that determines where they sit on the leaderboard,” she explained. It was then I noticed the same type of uncertainty and fear in her eyes that I’d seen in Kason’s all day.
The lights turned off and the course was lit up with white lights, illuminating the entire mountain for not only the snowboarders but also for the crowd to get a good view of the course.
“Hey, you two.”
I glanced over my shoulder. Mr. and Mrs. McCloud squeezed their way through the crowd to get to us up front. “Hi.”
We stood shoulder to shoulder as the slopestyle event began. My nerves kicked into overdrive, growing more intense as the first seven snowboarders flipped through the air, some landing flawlessly and some slipping a little at the end of their run. Despite their finish, the crowd cheered like each of them had won the event. Then, everyone turned to the nearby leaderboard to await the score. Ousterman, who was Kason’s biggest competition, scored a forty-six on his first run. And, the other six were high thirties and low forties.
Knowing Kason was up next, I pulled in a deep breath and tried to relax for him since I knew it’s what he needed. A new song began to reverberate off the mountain from the speakers. I broke into laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Giselle asked.
“This is ‘What You Give’ by Tesla.”
“So?”
“It’s my favorite song,” I explained.
“Well, I guess we know why he chose it,” she said.
“And, now we have McCloud’s first run of the night,” the announcer said.
Everyone around me cheered as I squinted, even with my contacts in I could only see a tiny figure moving down the mountain. Knowing it was Kason—and he was snowboarding to my song—had my heart jumping out of my chest. I looked to the nearby screen to get a closer look at his run. I held my breath as he made his first jump, flipping and twisting through the air as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do. The crowd screamed and I released my breath as he landed the jump flawlessly. He continued to the next jump, disappearing behind the huge ramp, then reappearing when he was in the air, reaching down and grabbing his board with his good hand as he flipped several times. The crowd cheered and I released another breath as he landed that trick without falling. He was nearing his last jump. He disappeared behind the ramp once more before summersaulting through the air in what felt like slo-mo. He came down hard but managed to stay upright. He thrust his arms in the air and the crowd around me exploded into cheers. As he came to a stop at the bottom of the mountain with a huge smile on his face, a spray of snow kicked up all around him.
Thayer and Jesse waited for him inside the fencing, clapping him on the tiger-striped helmet for what I assumed to be a great first run.
Everyone, including Kason, looked to the leaderboard, waiting for his score to appear. After a long moment, a forty-six lit up the screen.
The crowd cheered, and Giselle turned to me and hugged me so tightly I thought she’d cut off circulation. Once she released me, she yelled to Kason. “Nice job, little brother!”
I looked to Kason who nodded like he’d expected that. But knowing him, I knew he wanted more. Especially, if he was going to beat Ousterman for the gold.
He turned our way. And, though his snowboard goggles covered most of his face and I couldn’t see his eyes, I had a feeling they were trained on me.
A rush of excitement pulsed through me. That was my man. And, he looked so damn good doing what he loved. He had no reason to be so worried. He had this.
Kason’s next two runs were just as good as his first, but he couldn’t get higher than forty-six which put him at a ninety-two. Fortunately, Ousterman hadn’t either. So, as we awaited the final run, it was clear that either Kason or Ousterman would end up with the gold. It was just a matter of who pulled off the best tricks in their final run.
My phone vibrated in my pocket just as the first snowboarder dropped in. I pulled off my heavy gloves, unzipped my jacket a little, and reached inside my inner pocket. I checked the screen and Snowboard Hottie
was calling. My stomach dropped, terrified as to why he’d be calling. I pushed my way through the noisy crowd and headed toward one of the lodge’s inset-doorways as I answered. “What’s wrong?”
He laughed. “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
I reached the doorway and could hear him much clearer. “You’re crazy. You need to go.”
“In a sec. How do you think I’m doing?”
“Oh my God, you’re doing amazing!” I couldn’t contain my pride, especially since he seemed so much happier than he’d been all day. “Do you have something good up your sleeve for this final run?”
“I sure hope so.”
The next snowboarder was announced.
“Okay, go,” I urged Kason. “You need to focus before your run.”
“You help me focus, Shay. There’s something about you that makes everything better.”
My heart tripped over itself. “Are you seriously going to say something like that to me when you’re a mountain away?”
“You want me to say it again when I get to the bottom?” he asked.
“Yes,” I laughed. “But, only after you’re holding the gold.”
“Will you still want me if I don’t get it?” He suddenly sounded serious again.
The crowd cheered as the snowboarder’s score appeared on the board.
“Of course,” I assured him.
“Promise?” he asked as the next snowboarder was announced and began his run.
“Yes! Now go!”
“See you soon,” he said before finally hanging up.
I laughed to myself as I tucked my phone away and hurried back to the crowd, pushing my way through and apologizing as I did.
Once I got to the front, Giselle turned to me with concern on her face. “Where’d you go?”
“Your crazy brother just called me.”
“Oh, thank God.”
“What?” I asked, confused by her reaction.
The announcer’s voice came over the speaker announcing Ousterman.
“He finally told you,” Giselle explained.
I cocked my head. “Told me what?”
Her eyes grew wide. “Forget it.”
Forget it? “Tell me.”
Her eyes cast down. “He’s going to kill me.”
“Giselle. What’s going on? He’s been acting weird all day.”
“He told Cora’s dad he’d win the gold medal if they promised not to press charges against you.”
My mouth fell open just as Ousterman came down the mountain. I could barely register what was happening. The events of the day came flooding back. Kason’s nerves. His reluctance to talk or eat. His phone call. He was terrified that he wouldn’t win the gold, and my future would be destroyed.
I could barely breathe. I thought Cora’s family agreed not to press charges. Kason had assured me of that. Now, I learned my future hung in the balance—all reliant on his final run. That was the agreement? Jesus. Christ.
Ousterman reached the bottom, and his team jumped all over him. From what I could tell from the excitement of all the fans around me, he’d killed his final run. He’d upped his game, and I had no idea if Kason could up his. I turned to the screen with my heart lodged in my throat, waiting for Ousterman’s score to appear on the board while my world felt like it was crumbling down around me again. The calm I’d felt since learning I wouldn’t be punished was replaced by fear. The all-consuming, body-trembling, can’t-think-straight fear.
A roar erupted all around before I could even process the forty-eight that lit up the board bringing him to a ninety-four.
Giselle and the McClouds wore the same disappointed expressions on their faces, knowing beating a forty-eight was going to be nearly impossible given the judges had only awarded one of those all night.
“McCloud, waiting to drop in, will be our final competitor of the night,” the announcer said as Kason’s music started up. This time he’d opted for “Fly to the Angels” by Slaughter. I found the selection apropos since I once told him he flew when he snowboarded.
Giselle wrapped her arm through mine, sticking close to my side. We both knew what this run meant, and I could barely breathe. I looked to the screen with bated breath as Kason teetered on the top of the course. I sent up a silent prayer before he dropped in, zig-zagging down the mountain to gain speed. He hopped on the curved rail—something he hadn’t done all night—and slid across it, flipping off the end of it. Everyone around me cheered, but my nerves kept me quiet. He ascended the first ramp, flipping and spinning through the air, though this time it looked like more flips than he’d done in his first three runs. The crowd roared as Giselle jumped up and down, taking me with her.
“That was a backside double cork 1170!” the announcer reported.
“Is that good?” I asked Giselle.
“Yes! If that was what he did for his first jump, it means he has something better planned for his next two.”
He hit his next jump. I held my breath as he flew higher than he had all night, grabbing his board with his good hand and flipping himself around at least four times before he landed.
I released my breath as the crowd cheered, hoping to God the judges were seeing what we were seeing.
He approached his final jump. I almost couldn’t watch. I knew he’d give this final jump everything he had left but worried it still wouldn’t be enough to push him past Ousterman’s forty-eight.
I watched as he sped up the ramp, coming over the top in what seemed like slow motion. I held my breath as he made four rotations and three flips.
“That was a switch backside triple cork 1620!” the announcer shouted as Kason landed.
He threw his arms in the air, spraying snow everywhere as he came to a stop at the bottom of the mountain. His friends jumped all over him.
I looked to Giselle with expectant eyes, knowing I hadn’t seen anything like that all night. “That was good, right?”
She threw her arms around me and jumped up and down. “Amazing!”
“Was it enough?” I asked, almost scared to hear the answer.
“I hope so.” She released me and we both turned to the leaderboard.
The seconds ticked by, and still no score appeared. My body trembled and I couldn’t control it.
“What’s taking so long?” I asked Giselle as I glanced to Kason who had removed his goggles and was now also staring at the leaderboard.
“No idea,” she said.
“Sorry, for the delay,” the announcer said.
I looked back to the board as a big fifty lit up the screen! Kason’s name moved ahead of Ousterman’s to the top of the leaderboard with ninety-six next to it!
Laughter tumbled out of me as relief washed over me. I turned to see Kason who thrust his snowboard up in the air. His smile mirrored the elation sweeping through my body. His friends lifted him up in the air as he searched for me. He pointed to me with his cast and shook his head, a mix of disbelief and relief playing across his features.
Giselle hugged me, pulling my attention away from Kason. Then, the McClouds were there hugging us both.
I had never felt the love I felt in that moment ever before in my life.
CHAPTER 45
Kason
I finished my interviews then searched the crowd for Shay and my family. People patted me on the back as I moved through the crowded space. When I spotted my family near the lodge, I made a beeline for them.
“Hey!”
My parents rushed to me and threw their arms around me. “Congratulations!”
I laughed as I stepped out of their arms. “Thanks. I’m pretty stoked.” I looked around, searching for Shay. But my sister stepped in front of me, throwing her arms around me. “You killed it, baby brother.” Her voice lowered so our parents didn’t hear. “Thank God.”
I laughed, knowing exactly what she meant. The stress of not getting the gold was a son-of-a-bitch. I stepped back from her and looked around. “Where’s Shay?”
She pointed behind me.
I twisted around. Shay stood there looking like an adorable Eskimo. I stepped to her with opened arms, but she pressed her palms to my chest and shoved me backward.
“Whoa. What was that for?”
“Don’t you ever do something like that for me again,” she warned.
I glanced over her shoulder at a guilty Giselle who mouthed, “Sorry.”
I smirked before moving back into Shay’s space and wrapping my arms around her. Despite her feeble attempts to break loose from my hold, I tightened my arms and lowered my chin to the top of her head. “If I don’t, who will?”
She said nothing.
“Let me love you, Shay Miller. Let me love you the way you deserved to be loved all those years.”
She began to sniffle.
Shit. I pulled back to be sure she was okay. Tears pooled in her eyes and she didn’t even bother swatting them away as they trailed down her cheeks. “Shay?”
“That was such a stupid thing you did.”
I pulled off my glove and lifted my fingertips to her cheek, wiping her tears away. “I’d do it again if I had to. I love you.”
Her eyes widened.
“Yes, I just said that,” I assured her, knowing I’d just put it all out there. “And, I meant it.”
She closed her eyes as if taking in my words—and hopefully believing my words.
“I told you from the top of that mountain,” I continued. “And I’m telling you again now. There’s something about you, Shay. Something that makes me want to be a better man.” She opened her teary eyes and stared into mine. “You showed me who I could be, and I’m working every day to show you that’s who I really am.”
“I know,” she said softly, her lips curving. “I love you too.”
My head snapped back. I’d hoped she felt the same way I did, but I wasn’t crazy enough to expect it. I leaned forward, my eyes riveting between hers. “Thank God you wanted that music turned down.”
Laughter tumbled out of her. “Thank God. Now, let me see this medal.”