“That’s not very reassuring, and I don’t like the idea of injecting them with something. This is already a horrible breach of their confidence, and a massive invasion of their mind, without the risk of something going wrong.”
“You may not have a choice.”
Something occurs to me. “Did you do that to Kenzie and Zara? Is that why they forgot all about the alien on the road and acted as if nothing untoward had happened?”
He nods. “Cooper overheard your conversation, and he knew they weren’t going to let it drop, so we took care of it for you.”
“That’s …” I trail off, unsure how to react. Should I thank him for alleviating the problem or berate him for interfering with my friend’s memories? He waits for me to continue, smirking a little as if he can sense my inner conflict. I choose to let it go. It’s over and done with now, and arguing about it after the fact won’t serve any purpose. “Don’t any of you have the ability to cleanse minds?”
He shakes his head. “Not within our repertoire, I’m afraid.”
“Maybe it’s part of what I can do. If I work really hard, I—”
“The longer you put it off, the more danger they’re in, and it could take weeks, even months, to develop that level of skill, if you’re even capable of it in the first place.”
I bury my head in my hands, trying to compute which is the lesser evil. “If we did this, how does it work?”
“Beck adds a component to the standard serum which triggers a particular time frame and targets specific memories of a particular individual, so you could decide to wipe isolated memories connected to you, for say, the last week, or…”
He trails off, and I jerk my head up at his tone. “Or what?”
“Or … longer.”
Bile floods my mouth. “You’re suggesting I wipe all memory of me from their minds?”
“It would be for the best.”
“So they’d forget me completely?”
He shakes his head. “No. They’ll still know who you are, but the nature of your relationship with them will seem different in their mind, and all memories of stuff you’ve done together will be gone.”
“No way!” I’m aghast. “I don’t want to erase me from their minds altogether. I just want to erase any suspicion and any knowledge of aliens from their memory.”
His expression doesn’t falter as he leans closer to me. “And what about going forward? How will you keep them from growing suspicious again? Are you prepared to continue to lie to them about us and who you really are? Are you prepared to continually wipe their memories without their permission? Or are you prepared to move away from here to keep them safe?”
I can’t argue with his rationale or any of the questions he’s posed. He’s right, but I don’t want to erase our entire history. Tears threaten to fall, but I keep my composure. I’m not going to break in front of Dane.
“You need to sever your relationships with them if you want to stay around here, stay close to your parents, and perhaps you need to consider doing the same with them.”
I gasp, and a sharp pain lances across my chest. My mind hadn’t gone there yet, but they’re in danger as well.
“Perhaps a fresh start somewhere else might be the best after all,” he muses.
“No! This is my home! These are the people I love! I can’t walk away from them.”
He leans back. “This is what our responsibility means. Putting others before ourselves. You have to put their safety above your own desires.”
Tears sting the backs of my eyes. I know Dane’s right, and I wish I had his proclivity for detachment, because I don’t know how I’m going to do this. “I need to think about it,” I whisper.
“Don’t take too long.” His voice is softer. “Every day increases the risk to those you love.”
The door slams open, and Cooper storms in, nostrils flaring and fists clenched at his side. He pulls me up, wrapping his arms around me, holding my head to his chest. Rubbing a hand up and down my back, he snarls at Dane. “What the fuck did you say to get her so upset?”
“Chill the fuck out, Coop. I didn’t do anything.”
“So why is she upset?”
“Because the reality of what she needs to do is overwhelming. Don’t always presume I’m the reason.”
“It’s not Dane’s fault,” I sniff, nuzzling into Cooper, allowing his comfort to soothe my heartache.
Silence pervades, and I suspect the guys have switched to telepathic communication.
“Oh.” Coop’s quiet for a bit, and the only sound in the room is my soft sobs. After a few minutes, he tilts my chin up. Compassion and understanding trickle from him to me. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you? You don’t like Jensen anyway.”
“Mainly because I knew this was coming, and I knew you’d be upset. I wish there was some way I could shield you from that.”
Drying my eyes, I extract myself from his embrace, wrapping my arms around my waist. “There’s nothing anyone can do. The decision is already made. Now I just need to figure out how and when I’m going to do this.”
Chapter 31
Dane is less than pleased with me the following evening when I tell him I’m going home with Kylie after school ends. He doesn’t approve of me talking to her, or the fact I’m messing up his perfect schedule, but the others seem to understand I need my girl-on-girl time, and they talk him around. I’ve got two precious hours before one of them comes to collect me, and I intend to make the most of it.
“Okay, girlfriend,” Kylie says as we sit cross-legged on my bed, a large bag of chips between us. “Spill your guts. And I mean everything. No holds barred. Hit me with it all.”
So, I do. Kylie munches away as she gives me her undivided attention, and I tell her everything, confirming what we’ve already suspected about who and what I am and how I kinda hit the nail on the head with the whole light connection thing.
“Ho. Lee. Shit,” she exclaims after I finish speaking.
I flop back on the bed, locking my hands under my head. “I know.”
She throws herself down beside me. “My bestie’s an alien. That’s so cool.”
I prop up on an elbow, smirking at her. “That sounds like the name of a book or a movie,” I joke.
“It does, doesn’t it!” Her eyes light up, and she laughs.
“Any freaking out?”
She elbows me in the ribs. “Come on, chica. Seriously? This is the most awesome thing ever. Well, apart from the part where you’re in danger. Obviously, I’m not cool with that, but think of all the things you’ll be able to do once you have control of your gift. You’re going to be a total bad ass.”
I giggle. “I haven’t really thought of it like that. I’ve been a bit more hung up on the ‘not human’ part.”
“You’re still you. It doesn’t really matter.”
I flatten on my back again, and we both stare up at the ceiling. “Dad asked me the other night if I’d ever suspected, and I didn’t. But since that freak attacked us, I’ve felt completely different, like I was a stranger in my skin, so, in a way, what the guys told me helped ease my anxiety, because it makes sense now, and I feel more like me again even though it’s like a different version of me.”
She looks over at me. “I think I get what you’re saying. You’re settling into your new skin, and it feels right because it’s the way it was always supposed to have been.”
“Yeah, that’s it exactly.”
She nibbles on her lower lip, and conflict rages in her eyes. There’s a strange look on her face when she turns to me. “I think that’s good, because it’s important to know who you are, deep down inside, but don’t forget the old Tori either. No matter what happens from now on, where you’ve come from, and the person you are used to being, is still an important part of your makeup, and you shouldn’t ever lose sight of that.”
The school week passes by in a blur. Every waking moment is jam-packed with activity, and I crawl into bed, exhausted every nig
ht. Jensen isn’t speaking to me, which should make the decision easier, but it doesn’t. I still don’t know what the best course of action is, so I’ve happily thrown myself into my training, content to bury my head in the sand.
Again.
But I know I need to make a call and make it fast, before Dane takes matters into his own hands.
On Friday night, after my training has concluded, I advise the guys that we’re taking a day off tomorrow to do something fun. They’re all up for it, with the exception of Dane—predictably enough—but majority rules, so he has to suck it up. I won’t tell them what I have planned and only that they’re to come pick me up, in the car, early in the morning.
I want to surprise them.
Ever since Maddox hinted at their less-than-ideal childhood earlier in the week, I’ve been thinking of something fun we can do. I want to give them a small taste of what it should’ve been like growing up carefree.
So, I take them to the closest theme park, which is about forty miles north of Chicago.
Dane parks the car once we reach the venue, and we all climb out. Cooper’s grin is so wide it threatens to split his face. Picking me up, he swings me around, whooping and hollering like an excited kid. “This is freaking awesome! I’ve always wanted to go to a theme park, but Grouchy McGrouch over there constantly put a halt to my plans.”
“Put her down, Coop,” Dane says with a resigned sigh. “And I put a stop to your plans for good reason. We’re on this planet for one reason, and one reason alone, and that’s not to have fun.”
“Have you ever heard the saying ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’?” I ask, planting my hands on my hips. “You guys need to vent every now and then. The odd day off isn’t going to kill anyone.”
His nostrils flare, and he opens his mouth to rip me a new one, no doubt, because I’m guessing he thinks I just insulted him, when that is so not the point I was making, but Maddox clamps his hand over Dane’s mouth before he can utter a derogatory word. “We’re here now. Let’s just try to relax and enjoy ourselves. Tori is right. We need this. You need this so quit your bitchin’ and moanin’, and get your grumpy ass in that park.”
Dane shoves at Maddox, pushing him away. His mouth pulls into a snarl, and he mutters obscenities under his breath as he stalks off. I bite back my laughter as we follow him, walking toward the entrance.
We pay, study the map, and argue over which ride to go on first before deciding on The Blazing Megacoaster, a custom steel coaster structured over ten stories high and involving multiple heartline spins, inversions, and several one-hundred-feet drops. Maddox climbs in beside me, and Cooper and Beckett take the row behind, leaving Dane to sit on his own. But not for long. A cute girl with long wavy strawberry-blonde hair, about our age, is forced to get in beside him as the ride quickly fills up. Not that she seems to mind, once she notices the gorgeous male specimen seated beside her. I can’t contain my snicker as I watch her gaze roam him from head to toe, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide in the face of such blatant hotness. Dane ignores her, staring purposely ahead. Only the ticking in his jaw indicates he’s aware of her undivided attention.
His sultry brown eyes lock on mine, and we eyeball one another intently as something passes between us. I don’t understand why Dane is so uptight, especially around me, and the longer it goes on, the more stubbornly determined I become. I’ll win him around. I’ll prove to him that I’m worthy of all their efforts.
Even if it kills me.
I turn around as the ride starts moving, matching Maddox’s grin as the coaster picks up speed. Soon we’re soaring and plummeting, twisting and turning, screaming and laughing. “Oh, crap. I think I’m gonna puke,” Beckett says from behind me, and Cooper barks out a laugh.
“At least hold it in until we hit the ground,” Maddox hollers, his voice fading as it’s carried on the wind.
Beckett doesn’t utter another word until the coaster glides to a stop. Then he murmurs, “Hell!” before dashing out of his seat, making a beeline for the bathroom.
Maddox chuckles, helping me out of my seat, and I walk after him on shaky limbs. Pushing knotted strands of my hair out of my way, I turn and face the guys. “Should one of you go after him to make sure he’s okay?”
“He’s not a baby. He can fend for himself,” Dane huffs, and I sigh. I think it’s going to be a long day.
Ignoring him and his moods, I focus on Cooper and Maddox. “Well? What was your first rollercoaster ride like?”
“That was epic!” Cooper exclaims, bouncing on his feet and jumping around like he’s five years old. “Can we go again?”
“I think I’m addicted,” Maddox admits, rubbing his hands and winking at me.
“I don’t get all the fuss,” Dane says, shrugging. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
Maddox thumps him in the arm. “I don’t know why you came if you’re not even going to try to enjoy yourself. Chill the fuck out, man, before you ruin this for all of us.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Dane pouts, but he doesn’t protest. Out of the corner of my eye, I spy the cute girl from the ride, in a huddle with a couple of other girls, pointing at Dane. I can’t keep the grin off my face. “Someone’s picked up an admirer.” I subtly nod my head in the girl’s direction.
Dane glances briefly over his shoulder before turning to face me with a venomous expression. “Stop stirring shit. I’m not interested in her.” He leans his face into mine, and the fury in his eyes and the heat from his body crash into me, sending all my girlie parts into a tizzy. “Or any girl for that matter.” He spits out the words, eyeballing me the entire time, leaving me, and the others, in no doubt of his meaning.
As if I care.
He may look like he stepped off the pages of a magazine, but he loses major brownie points for his prickly attitude and his irritating manner. He’s still glaring at me, and I roll my eyes. God grant me patience. Seriously, would it kill him to loosen up a little?
Shaking my head, I jog toward Beck who has just appeared in my line of sight. His face is deathly white, his lips pinched together, as he walks in our direction. “Hey.” I cup his cheeks, carefully inspecting his face. “Are you okay?” He blushes, and I have an urge to hug him, but I hold back, because Beck’s not the touchy-feely type and I know I make him uncomfortable sometimes.
“I’m okay.” He offers me a weak smile.
“Dude, you’re a total pussy,” Coop says, slapping him on the back and grinning. “I can’t believe you threw up!” He examines his face, and his eyes light up. “What was it like?”
“What the what?” I splutter.
Coop shrugs, tugging playfully on the ends of my hair. “We don’t get sick. I’m curious.”
“Trust me when I say you’re not missing anything.”
“I second that.” Beck shivers.
“Here,” Maddox says, thrusting a bottle of water at Beck. “This might help.”
“Cheers, man.”
We amble off after that, Cooper and Maddox teasing Beck and Dane in turn. I’m quiet as I listen to them bantering with one another, wondering if this is what it would’ve been like if we’d all grown up together.
Like one big happy family. I snort at my own brand of humor.
We spend the next few hours trying out every ride, chasing one another around the haunted house, slamming into one another on the bumper cars, and riding horses on the old-fashioned carousel. Maddox and Cooper are racing around the park like toddlers on a sugar high, and it warms my heart to see them having so much fun. Beckett is more reserved, as is his nature, and he’s not as much of a daredevil as his brothers, but he hasn’t said no to anything yet, and I know he’s secretly enjoying himself. Dane is quiet, and holding his cards close to this chest, but I pick up on his emotions through our bond, and he’s getting a kick out of this; he just refuses to show it.
We stop to grab a bite to eat which turns into a bit of a food fight when Cooper flicks his fries in Mad
dox’s face; he retaliates, and then we’re all flinging food at one another. I almost pee my pants when the manager approaches our table and politely asks us to leave. I’m still laughing ten minutes later and giving myself a smug pat on the back for planning the trip. It is unbelievably good to see the guys acting like normal teenagers for a change, and I vow to organize more stuff in future.
The guys insist on competing against one another in the Shoot the Star game. Not to be outdone, I line up too, and I’m a gun-toting badass, completely wiping the floor with the guys, much to their surprise. What they don’t know is that Poppa has been taking me to the shooting range since I was fifteen, and I know how to aim and fire a weapon.
I pick a large pink stuffed teddy bear as my prize, hugging it to my chest as I grin proudly at the guys. Cooper pats the bear on the head. “Aw, look how cute Cuddlebug is.” Then he pats my head. “Almost as cute as her owner.” I burst out laughing, playfully shoving him. How does he dream up this stuff?
“Where did you learn to shoot like that?” Maddox asks, a note of awe in his tone.
“At the local firing range. My dad likes to hunt, and he’s been a member for years. He wanted me to be confident around firearms, so he started bringing me as soon as I was old enough.”
“Smart move. That skill should come in handy,” Dane says, always the strategist.
“I know who to turn to when I’m looking for some pointers,” Beck supplies, smiling warmly at me.
“That was hot as hell,” Cooper adds, brushing his mouth over my cheek. “Can we go back so I can get a photo of you bent over, holding the rifle, your eyes all sexy and badass as you line up the shot?” His tongue darts out, wetting his lips. “Hell, yeah. I want to frame that image and put it on my bedside table.”
My mouth hangs open, and he chuckles.
“Do you always have to bring things to the gutter?” Dane snaps, a look of disgust on his face.
“I’m just articulating what we all thought. Tori whipping our asses was fucking hot, and you know it.”
The Lost Savior Page 24